Hi Folks,
I am a young male who has been interested in the swinging scene for a while (no this isnt a sympathy post before anyone asks) and I have a wee story.
I have been with SH for a wee while now and have spoken to some nice people ( you know who you are) who have kindly offered me advice which I have taken seriously ( cos i am serious about getting into this scene).
Anyway I met a girl off a different site ( one which i wont be visiting again and i wont mention her name just in case people do know her) and we talked and got all of the pleastries over and done with after about a week. We had arranged a meet in her town which was no problem with me ( all on her terms).
Anyway I travelled down to the meet as planned in the snow ( and what other bad weather scotland had to throw at me) after 4 hours of driving (each way with a round trip of nearly 400 miles and 40 pounds in petrol used) i arrived on time at the place as agreed.
And yes you have guessed it....... it was a no show on her part she later texted me saying that she couldnt make it for some reason or other.
What I am asking is how often does this happen with women? ( I am not having a go at women I am just curious cos I been told by few people from this site that patience is required which i have plenty of!!) Cos it can be very off putting as some people may already know.
Staffy1981
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How often does this happen?
Sex God
It happens to everyone mate, whether you're meeting men, women, or couples. Sometimes it's perfectly genuine -they just can't make it.... those people are polite and get you know beforehand. Others just don't turn up at all and do not even apologise. Satin and I have been messed around by loads of guys, but many more have shown up and it's been cool. So, the upshot is... you take the rough with the smooth and play it by ear in many cases. If you've spoken to someone on the phone and had polite email conversation with them you can be 99% sure they're genuine... but even those very occassionally are piss takers in the end... or they bottle it, which happens too. It's annoying but part of the game I'm afraid.
Sex God
I have to say I'm amazed that anyone would drive 400 miles to meet a complete stranger. You say you "got the pleasantries over and done with" which suggests you were just going through the motions and hoping for a shag as quickly as possible. That being the case, I honestly think it's unreasonable to have high expectations of someone you know so little about. If you just want a quick shag, keep it local and save the long distance stuff for people you've taken the time to get to know.
Ice Pie
When I said that we got the pleastantries over with
I was referring to the fact that we had chatted for about a week (every night) and had answered all the questions that we both thought we needed answered ( she has done this kind of thing before so i let her lead the way) so she seemed genuine enough or so i thought.
The fact of the matter is that it was all on her terms she suggested the time the place and even the date. Perhaps i did rush into it a bit but she was the one who was pushing for the meet this week i took the judgement that if she was keen for the meet so was i.
So in my defence i was expecting something but i would have preferred if she had the decency to say it to my face instead of me waiting for an hour and her a no show!
I am a grown up person with a thick skin.
When I said that we got the pleastantries over with
I was referring to the fact that we had chatted for about a week (every night) and had answered all the questions that we both thought we needed answered ( she has done this kind of thing before so i let her lead the way) so she seemed genuine enough or so i thought.
The fact of the matter is that it was all on her terms she suggested the time the place and even the date. Perhaps i did rush into it a bit but she was the one who was pushing for the meet this week i took the judgement that if she was keen for the meet so was i.
So in my defence i was expecting something but i would have preferred if she had the decency to say it to my face instead of me waiting for an hour and her a no show!
I am a grown up person with a thick skin.
Sex God
Quote by staffy1981
So in my defence i was expecting something but i would have preferred if she had the decency to say it to my face instead of me waiting for an hour and her a no show!
I am a grown up person with a thick skin.
People get cold feet, but I agree there's no excuse for not phoning ahead and saying sorry I can't make it.
Suggestion for future long-distance meets:
Don't agree to cover the entire distance yourself, meet halfway. Phone her when you set out to confirm she's on her way. Phone her landline ten minutes later to see that she really has left. If you haven't got her landline number, forget it.
Ice Pie and Sun Bunny,
Firstly i know most of you guys are friendly I read half of the posts that go up (admittedly some of them are over ny head) but there are a lot that can make me laugh.
Secondly
Thanx for the advise Ice Pie much appreciated will know better next time (once bitten twice shy you guys know the saying).
Cheers folks
I will hopefully chat to you soon through the posts (if your really unlucky).
Firstly i know most of you guys are friendly I read half of the posts that go up (admittedly some of them are over ny head) but there are a lot that can make me laugh.
Secondly
Thanx for the advise Ice Pie much appreciated will know better next time (once bitten twice shy you guys know the saying).
Cheers folks
I will hopefully chat to you soon through the posts (if your really unlucky).
Quote by Ice Pie
So in my defence i was expecting something but i would have preferred if she had the decency to say it to my face instead of me waiting for an hour and her a no show!
I am a grown up person with a thick skin.
People get cold feet, but I agree there's no excuse for not phoning ahead and saying sorry I can't make it.
Suggestion for future long-distance meets:
Don't agree to cover the entire distance yourself, meet halfway. Phone her when you set out to confirm she's on her way. Phone her landline ten minutes later to see that she really has left. If you haven't got her landline number, forget it.
Well thats me never going on a meet again. No way would anyone get my landline number.
Sorry but there has got to be some trust, sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt, but you can be over cocious
Quote by foxylady 123
Well thats me never going on a meet again. No way would anyone get my landline number.
Sorry but there has got to be some trust, sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt, but you can be over cocious
I agree .. only a very small handfull of people here have my landline number and that's because I trust them, have made good friendships with and they themselves are in similar positions .. ie children in the house.
For "meet" purposes I would never give out my landline.
Sex God
Quote by foxylady 123
Suggestion for future long-distance meets:
Don't agree to cover the entire distance yourself, meet halfway. Phone her when you set out to confirm she's on her way. Phone her landline ten minutes later to see that she really has left. If you haven't got her landline number, forget it.
Well thats me never going on a meet again. No way would anyone get my landline number.
Sorry but there has got to be some trust, sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt, but you can be over cocious
I meant that only in relation to long-distance meets with strangers. If it's only local you're not risking as much of your time so it matters less if they don't show up. Personally, if I were going to invest an entire day on someone I don't know, I would want some assurances. If they weren't prepared to give me those assurances I would say thanks but no thanks and move on.
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
Suggestion for future long-distance meets:
Don't agree to cover the entire distance yourself, meet halfway. Phone her when you set out to confirm she's on her way. Phone her landline ten minutes later to see that she really has left. If you haven't got her landline number, forget it.
Well thats me never going on a meet again. No way would anyone get my landline number.
Sorry but there has got to be some trust, sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt, but you can be over cocious
I meant that only in relation to long-distance meets with strangers. If it's only local you're not risking as much of your time so it matters less if they don't show up. Personally, if I were going to invest an entire day on someone I don't know, I would want some assurances. If they weren't prepared to give me those assurances I would say thanks but no thanks and move on.
I would normally say that I wouldn't give out my landline, but I have given my landline to everyone who came to my party and who are coming to Satin's... just as re-assurance that we are totally genuine really.... not that they'll ever get through to me on it cos I'm on dial up and I'm always on the internet, so it's always engaged
. I think for a long diatnce meet I would say that if someone wanted to speak to me on my landline I would be OK with it, otherwise I can't really see the problem with just a mobile number. I can understand why people wouldn't want to give their number though if they live with older children/lodgers etc. Quote by bluexxx
=but I have given my landline to everyone who came to my party and who are coming to Satin's... just as re-assurance that we are totally genuine really....
I can't believe anyone going to your party has any doubts about your authenticity
You do sometimes need to take a risk and have a little faith.
The meet I had back at the end of October (through the ads section here, and so far my only meet), I had to drive 270 miles to get to them (still looking for people more local
). I'd chatted with the couple on the phone, they seemed genuine. Wouldn't give me a photo though, so had no idea what they looked like. Long story short, I started to think they were a wind up, they eventually turned up at the meet and hour and 15 mins late. Turned out to be a great couple though. Luck was on my side that time, another time it may not be. Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
I think for a long diatnce meet I would say that if someone wanted to speak to me on my landline I would be OK with it, otherwise I can't really see the problem with just a mobile number.
Agreed, for a local meet a mobile number is fine, all I'm saying is if I were going to risk an entire day of my time on a stranger, I wouldn't rely on crossing my fingers.
I would only give my landline number to someone I was VERY comfortable with and then only when they promise to text me before calling to make sure it is 'safe' i.e. kids not around. My son is old enough to answer the phone so I don't want people calling me to talk about sex and meeting if he is around.
I would swap mobile numbers once I had decided to meet someone, it makes sense to chat properly and have a contact number in case of something happening, like not being able to make it for whatever reason. If for any reason I couldn't make a meet I would try and give as much notice as possible, a courtesy call is only right in those circumstances.
I would swap mobile numbers once I had decided to meet someone, it makes sense to chat properly and have a contact number in case of something happening, like not being able to make it for whatever reason. If for any reason I couldn't make a meet I would try and give as much notice as possible, a courtesy call is only right in those circumstances.
