You see, I've been nosing around the other forums, and I've calculated, by means of a pie (ice pie?) chart and some lateral thinking, that there is a 94.6% chance that a random stranger approached correctly in a supermarket car park of your choice will have sex with you there and then, regardless of their actual reason for being there. Here's how it works:
Going by the data provided in the dogging and LMU sections, there is only an 8% probability that in any arranged meeting, both parties will actually make an appearance. Oh, incidentally, this translates to a statistical average of NEITHER putative participant attending on 84% of occasions - more on that later. Where was I? Oh aye, the unilateral no-show. Yeah, so anyway, what this means is, anyone who does actually turn up at the appointed place and time has odds of about 12 to 1 against doing anything other than standing around getting cold for a while, drinking a cup of coffee alone in Safebury's coffee shop, then coming back here to whinge about time-wasters.
Now then, it should be obvious from this that if it were common practice to proposition strangers in car parks for sex, then anyone who has gone there for a pre-arranged meeting would have a ninety-two percent chance of ending up shagging someone other than the person they arranged to meet. It also means that if you know that a particular car park is commonly used as a venue for such arrangements, you have a ninety-two percent chance of shagging someone who has gone there for an arranged meeting, simply by confirming when asked that you are indeed Bill or George or Sue or whoever they're planning to hook up with.
Of course, targeting those waiting for no-shows requires a bit of tact and intelligence. Observing the frequency with which a lone person looks at their wristwatch is a good place to start. If they seem particularly purposeful or expectant when it is exactly something-o'clock or exactly half-past-something, you have what's known in the detective trade as 'probable cause'. If they are standing under a clock, wearing a flower in their buttonhole, holding a copy of this week's edition of Health & Efficiency in plain sight, peering surreptitiously through the windows of arriving vehicles, and smiling for no readily apparent reason, you've probably cracked it.
Having identified your target, move quickly - there may be other readers of this article on the scene, ready to steal your prey from under your nose. You don't need to guess their name, or the name of the person they're there to meet, just greet them with a smile and say something totally predictable, like "Hi. Hope I haven't kept you waiting too long?" to which they will reply, "Ah, you must be Pat/Les/whatever?" Simply confirm your identity as whomever they say, perform the appropriate social rituals, coffee etc. if required, and away you go.
That's the easy part. You had a head start because they were there specifically for a meeting, but if you remember, I said at the top that you could shag a stranger, regardless of their reason for being there. Allow me to elucidate.
Advanced "Vulturing" requires a step up from carrion thief to full-blown predator. If there are no obvious stand-ups available, even in a place where such meetings are commonly arranged, you now have the situation mentioned earlier where, in all likelihood, a meeting has been arranged, but neither party has attended. The advanced Vulturer can turn this eventuality to his or her benefit:
Select a suitably susceptible target – lone members of your preferred sex wearing “I’m gagging for it†badges are not particularly common this year, but people who play with their hair are a dead cert, honest. Actually, and please forgive the digression, playing with your hair… you know, that thing where you twist it around your index finger? It’s very Freudian you know. Very phallic. Almost tantamount to public masturbation.
What was I saying? Oh aye, selecting your prey. So anyway, identifying the ‘up for it’ is all well and good, but you want to avoid taking them completely by surprise. “Hi, fancy a fuck?†is a time-honoured tradition, but is quite limited in terms of its success rate, otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading this, right? The double-no-show is a situation you can turn to your advantage, provided you select your prey intelligently. Your target should be someone who has found a really good parking space, smiles at the trolley parking staff in a familiar way, knows exactly where the coffee shop is, knows where the cash machines are, and generally looks comfortable in the environment. Why? Because such a person is obviously a regular at that branch of Safebury’s and probably knows it is often used for the type of meeting you are about to fake.
Your attack must be bold, but deceptively so. You must appear slightly nervous, as if you are trying to look confident while maintaining an air of charming vulnerability. You must allow your target to observe you in this state prior to initiating contact. You are about to fool them into thinking you are there for a pre-arranged meet, so it’s important that they see you shuffling your feet, glancing frequently at your watch – in short looking exactly like a primary Vulturing target yourself. If you have selected your target correctly, they will, being familiar with the venue, suspect that you are waiting for a no-show. Now you make your move and confirm that suspicion. You approach with a tentative looking smile and announce, “Hi, I’m Cuthbert/Matilda/whatever. You must be (insert random name, it doesn’t matter.) Sorry to have kept you waiting. I was about to bottle it, but I’m glad I changed my mind. You look
At this point, they will assume that they were correct in thinking you were waiting for a stranger you had arranged to meet. They will deduce that the (non-existent) other party has failed to show and that you have mistaken them for that other party. If they are sufficiently flattered by the compliment and not too busy right now, they will invite you to perform the social rituals as above, and then proceed to fuck your brains out.
Honest.
PS - years from now, when a well-known sporting personality has made "Vulturing" a household word, remember you heard it here first. :lol2:
:rotflmao: 
:twisted: :twisted: 
:roll: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: 
This so called theory is rubbish.
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