1) Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
2) Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3) Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
4) Get in shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5) Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6) Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7) Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8) Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
9) Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10) Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
11) Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12) Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
13) Turn off shower.
14) Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Ajax Batroom.
15) Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
16) Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
17) Check entire body for remotest sign of spots.
18) Attack with nails and or tweezers (if you can find them).
19) Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20) If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.
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How to shower - like a woman !
:rotflmao:
How To Shower Like A Man:
1) Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
2) Leave in a pile.
3) Walk naked to the bathroom.
4) If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making
woo-hoo sound.
5) Look at manly physique in the mirror.
6) Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
7) Get in the shower.
8) Wash your face.
9) Wash your armpits.
10) Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
11) Make fart noises (real or artificial ) and laugh at how loud
they sound in the shower.
12) Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
13) Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
14) Shampoo hair. Make shampoo Mohawk.
15) Pee.
16) Rinse off and get out of shower.
17) Partially dry-off.
18) Fail to notice water on floor.
19) Admire knob size in mirror again.
20) Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
21) Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
22) If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make
woo-hoo noise again.
23) Throw wet towel on bed.
1) Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
2) Leave in a pile.
3) Walk naked to the bathroom.
4) If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making
woo-hoo sound.
5) Look at manly physique in the mirror.
6) Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
7) Get in the shower.
8) Wash your face.
9) Wash your armpits.
10) Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
11) Make fart noises (real or artificial ) and laugh at how loud
they sound in the shower.
12) Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
13) Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
14) Shampoo hair. Make shampoo Mohawk.
15) Pee.
16) Rinse off and get out of shower.
17) Partially dry-off.
18) Fail to notice water on floor.
19) Admire knob size in mirror again.
20) Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
21) Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
22) If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make
woo-hoo noise again.
23) Throw wet towel on bed.
