Hi all. I've been invited to meet a couple from here. I have met women on their own, but never a couple. I am not bi, neither is the guy whose wife I am meeting. With me never being in a situation with a couple before, naturally I am a little apprehensive. Can anyone who has been in this situation (male or female) offer any advice/comments? Cheers! Paul
We play with single guys and our biggest frustration is if they are nervous or have 'hang ups' !! You will be very close to another guys cock and if you do DP ,which sounds likely if neither of you are bi, then your cocks will touch and your balls will rub together. As long as you are 'hot' about the whole situation then you will be fine - you are not gay if you are enjoying an intimate threesome and are both pleasuring a woman - you are just a horny dude and there are not enough of those around !! We really like it when the single guy comments about us and how we are together and how hot we are................whether it is true or not is irrelevant, it is just something we like to hear and good guys like that usually get very well rewarded!! Can't comment on this cuckolding thing cos we don't know anything about that at all - we just can't imagine the attraction in it
Precisely- had our first DP last night/this morning.......2 strait guys 1 girl= mmmmmmm! A good time had by all- leave your hang ups at the door, you'll be fine!
why not talk to them again luv before actually going to this meet not knowing what to expect? I'm concerned about this whole DP / full on 3some assumption that's going on , becuase there's nothing to suggest that in your post, other than you've been invited to join them chances are, if you're nervous and unsure of what's gonna happen - and more importanly, what's not going to happen, you'll bottle it or you go steaming in like a bull in a china shop :shock: 'hubby present' may just mean that he'll be there for her 'security' and watch, or it may mean you'll have the opportunity for DP or whatever else they want to share with you - but clarify it first so you know where you stand and importantly everyone is comfortable. Congrats though! :thumbup:
I always find the coupes thing a bit wierd, we meet as a couple and as singles, me being the female half for those who don't know us, and i have in the past found that meeting couples alone can get a bit wierd where one or the other gets gelous of their partner and the attention they may be getting, being bi i find it very difficult to give a equal balance to both, i find the female tends to want most attention maybe cause they get less chance to meet women than man so want to make the most of it while they have the chance but then i find the male feels left out but then i have had women strop out the room cause they feel i have given to much attention to their guy and have been accused of wanting more than just caual sex with him :shock: cause of the trouble i have had in the past i am very weary about meeting couples as a single female and as a rule tend not to, i can imagin being a str8 guy you'll not have this problem as the guy not want any of your attention but personally i would ask them if they had met anyone who would be willing 2 vouch for them as many couples find after meeting someone its not really what they can handle after all and you don't want to be cought in the fireing line, its not nice, make sure they established swingers who know what they want and have met singles b4 and have been happy with it, thats just my advice and opinion 4 what its worth lol
yep, talk to them both before you start anything. doesn't have to be that involved . . . just what do they both like, what do they expect from you, what's ok, and what's not ok? and if you have any big no-nos, put your cards right on the table. saves anything uncomfortable cropping up later. ;) they will be communicating with eachother all the time, even if they're not saying anything. try to be aware of that, and take your cues from both. the guy might be straight, but you're still there for the both of them, not just the fem! ;) when i've played with a couple as a single guy, i've generally let them lead things, and often, it's been the guy i've communicated with the most. a simple thing like eye contact with him while you're . . . ahem . . . otherwise engaged can speak volumes, and give you a feel for how things are progressing? most of all, relax, and have fun! neil x x x ;)
Quote by Kiss_Me ..one or the other gets gelous of their partner and the attention they may be getting..
I totally understand that situation! I have found it hard to relax and go with the flow for that very same reason! I found it hard as a single fem to balance the guy/girl thing with anything other than secure and happy couples. Unfortunately many couples seem to be on the scene to try and spice up a failing relationship and that's where the problems start. Fektart and I may only have been together 6 months now, but I am secure enough in our relationship to know at the end of the day I'm the one who gets the sleepy snuggles and to put up with his snoring so I don't get jealous of the time he spends playing with others at all.
Some great advice here,as a couple who have met singles of both sexes we always get to know the person a little before any meet,web cam phone etc,we always explain fully what we are looking for if our meeting is successful,take the pressure out of the situation by explaining until you meet you all dont know whether fun will take place,this leaves the door open for all parties if you dont click,up to now we have had very successful meetings leaving all smiling,good luck and have fun.
Quote by celestria Unfortunately many couples seem to be on the scene to try and spice up a failing relationship and that's where the problems start.
All too true and the resulting problems and drama are far from fun for anyone else anywhere nearby. And then there is the other sort of problem situation, where one half of a couple has been coerced into the scene or is just going through with things to keep their partner happy. We've met couples who fall into both of those categories with less than great results. We tend to be rather more cautious these days as a result. For us, after nearly 30 years together, at least we know we are totally secure in our own relationship. CB & Red
Excellent replies, with help and advice. I would say, maybe meet on neutral territory, a pub, or Sainsbury's cafe etc, and way up the situation. If it feels bad, walk away, that's the best advice. I host 'parties' for ladies, and couples, and we always meet up first before going to play. thechairman18
Quote by Kiss_Me ..one or the other gets jealous of their partner and the attention they may be getting..
I totally understand that situation! I have found it hard to relax and go with the flow for that very same reason! I've had the same - in reverse with couples, my attention is predominantly with the fem, and I state that quite clearly - but to be honest I've had the majority of the few meets I have arranged cancelled, or there's been 'issues', because I'm not particularly bothered about full swap with the bloke so he tends to get a bit jealous, or just decides I'm not for them, or thinks I might come round to the idea once I'm at their house or sommat ( :roll: ) having said that, like Neil, I'll almost always let the bloke lead things. I like him to be involved in that way. He knows his partner & what she likes & when, so I'm happy to take my cues from him - as long as I feel that she's fine with it too. There's just nothing worse than that feeling (usually from her lack of enthusiasm ) that says 'she's just going along with this to please him, stop it right now' :scared: The other 'thing' that makes me 'wobble' a bit when it comes to playing with couples is the fact they do communicate allthe time - and afterwards. Meaning, they discuss 'it' and you. As a single, you often get pushed out of that bit, imo.
I've only met and played with couples from here, and I'm a str8 bloke too. Have a chat with them both about what yours and their boundaries are and make sure everyone is happy with it. Then just relax and have a good time, they won't bite! (unless that was part of the plan :twisted: )
The other 'thing' that makes me 'wobble' a bit when it comes to playing with couples is the fact they do communicate all the time - and afterwards. Meaning, they discuss 'it' and you. As a single, you often get pushed out of that bit, imo
yeah, i sometimes find that tricky too? not so much the being discussed afterwards ((( though even i have a male ego! :P ;) ))) but that there is something going on that i'm not a part of, and can't be a part of? as for finding that one partner is not quite so "up for it" as the other, for want of a better term, and is only going through the motions? there is abolutely nothing worse. even the most thick skinned of us can see that one a mile off! to be invited into a situation like that and put in that predicament is almost unforgivable! neil x x x ;)
I understand and appreciate everything being said but there is the other perspective that as a couple some singles we have met in the past can be just as hard work! Women tend to get a bit overly sensitive as if to assume before anything has actually happened that they are the third wheel and that's that! A little jealous perhaps (?) that we are obviously very close and can't get their head round why we want to swing! If love is what you're looking for here and couples who have found it wind you up then best avoid them! Men can be overbearing too, texting me day and night and barely speaking to Rammy. I'm happy to say this is not always the case and it's just a matter of getting to know people a bit first! We put emphasis on discussing what everyone is looking for with a new contact, it can be a one on one thing or involving all parties or purely for soft flirting and a bit of a laugh!....we don't set out with an agenda and welcome and encourage the individuality of everyone we meet.
We tend not to experience issues of people texting or talking to us afterwards because we don't allow ourselves to get that close. Many on here disagree with us but we Swing to fulfil our fantasies and that is all. This inevitably means that the third party is regrettably simply a toy that we use for that purpose (Harsh- maybe, safe - yes!). We may well be wrong but to us making friends with people and social meets is just playing with fire, we go to Clubs, we fulfil our fantasies and then we go home to the real world of children, jobs and mortgages. Yes we talk about the man, men or couples we have played with and sometimes for days afterwards, but with single guys, we would never even know their names and it is unlikely that no matter how good the experience was it would ever be repeated. We do enjoy playing with couples more than once, but somehow, for some reason the fact that Couples are seen regularly and always together seems safer. It is ironic that sexually we know no bounderies but emotionally the lines are very clearly defined.
Quote by Kiss_Me ...inevitably means that the third party is regrettably simply a toy that we use for that purpose...
IMHO I think that's what actually puts a lot of single fems off - who wants to be used? I dunno whether I would call it using. I am more than happy to have sex with a woman once and once only. I am not after any emotional involvement. I think that it is a bonus if I I get along with the woman that I am having sex with and I do enjoy making love and being held... but that can all happen without their being any other connection. But then again I am unique in so many ways. :lol:
Quote by splendid33 ...inevitably means that the third party is regrettably simply a toy that we use for that purpose...
IMHO I think that's what actually puts a lot of single fems off - who wants to be used? I dunno whether I would call it using. I am more than happy to have sex with a woman once and once only. I am not after any emotional involvement. I think that it is a bonus if I I get along with the woman that I am having sex with and I do enjoy making love and being held... but that can all happen without their being any other connection. But then again I am unique in so many ways. :lol: Sorry if I didn't explain myself Splendid. Too Hot was saying that as a couple they are using/seeing the 3rd party as a sex toy. I wasn't refering to 1-2-1 one night stands.
i will make one suggestion Paul (even though i've never had a 3some, sort of skipped them and went straight to the orgy stage ) don't approach it as though you're going to give this woman the best time of her life, go with the attitude that you're going to enhance the sex life of the couple with a new or different experience (even if they've done a 3some before, with you it will be different again) sort out the boundary's and try to remember it's fun :thumbup:
Quote by Kiss_Me ...inevitably means that the third party is regrettably simply a toy that we use for that purpose...
IMHO I think that's what actually puts a lot of single fems off - who wants to be used? I think the reference was to single men not single fems and I introduced couples into the debate. We just would not entertain the thought of a single fem - too many potentially emotional land mines for both of us. I understand why you would say that you would not want to be used as part of a MFF scene but a MFM is about the woman feeling 'used' - at least that is how we view it. Mrs Hot likes to feel 'used' - it is part of the fantasy scenario that knows no place in our real world
Quote by meat2pleaseu i will make one suggestion Paul (even though i've never had a 3some, sort of skipped them and went straight to the orgy stage )
tart! :P
don't approach it as though you're going to give this woman the best time of her life, go with the attitude that you're going to enhance the sex life of the couple with a new or different experience (even if they've done a 3some before, with you it will be different again) sort out the boundary's and try to remember it's fun :thumbup:
spot on i'd have said! :thumbup: definitely how i at least try to approach the whole thing! ;) as a single, whether we like it or not, we're kind of there to fulfil the fantasies of the couple? with a good couple, that will be mutual, and they will try to help you fulfil yours in turn, but i think the couple take a little bit of precedence? the couple on couple / orgy thing is a whole different ball-game, and needs a whole new lot of working out? neil x x x ;)
Definatley have a little chat first about what is and isnt off limits as the first few times we played it was like "is it ok to do that" " is it ok to touch you there" "you sure i can play with your fella?" and it was like yesssss flaming well get on with it!! I found though that if people are fairly new with this then too much chat can make them even more nervous and sometimes cancel. Mostly though its questions as to how cool is our relationship to stand another person joining in ... and all i say is we are totally solid about being together and this is just a fun thing we do now and again with both our full blessings. Women especially that we have met said they cant believe how cool and laid back we are about playing but thats what its all about! If we had relationship issues then we wouldnt be doing it. Sometimes i was made to feel like i should be standing at the bedroom door like a mad axe murderer shouting "get off my husband!!!" but heh we are both there to share when it comes to swinging!! Shame he doesnt share the flmaing washing up though!!!! Good Luck and hope you enjoy your fun and dont worry!
I meet a couple about 2 years ago, not through here but a advert. I was nervous as hell, meet in manchester they booked hotel room, for me it was to staged, wait here while we go to room then come down, no kissing facial (women that is) I shit myself as guy looked like fred west, women was fit though, i thought i hope i dont get a bloody hammer in the back of the head. Well i licked her out she swallowed mine and his load, he lead me back to my car discussing footie on the way , ye scary but for me fun, a bit scared i was going to get my cherry poped though
Quote by michael walker I meet a couple about 2 years ago, not through here but a advert. I was nervous as hell, meet in manchester they booked hotel room, for me it was to staged, wait here while we go to room then come down, no kissing facial (women that is) I shit myself as guy looked like fred west, women was fit though, i thought i hope i dont get a bloody hammer in the back of the head. Well i licked her out she swallowed mine and his load, he lead me back to my car discussing footie on the way , ye scary but for me fun, a bit scared i was going to get my cherry poped though
Thanks for all the replies everyone. The above message has really made me smile though! Wish me luck! Cheers Paul
Quote by Kiss_Me ..one or the other gets gelous of their partner and the attention they may be getting..
I totally understand that situation! I have found it hard to relax and go with the flow for that very same reason! From our point of view our relationship is solid and our desires built on the fact that i am extremely bi..... I concentrate soley on the fem whether single or couple... letting the guys decide where they want to take part or just enjoy my fem however she wants to be pleasured.. no pressure on anyone for anything other than fun... I have been the single fem in many situations and been as a couple in many situations, hence my empathy for any unsure or curious fems. x x x
My first swinging experience was with a lovely couple who made me feel very welcome. The general scene was that the hubby enjoys watching his wife having sex with other men as long as he can photo the proceedings. She simply enjoys the sex and they are very comfortable in what they do. Yes the first time was very nerve wracking (for me) and as the evening progressed hubby decided to join in, we had already established that we were both 100% straight so ther was no question of any boundaries being pushed. Hubby even asked ME if it was Ok for HIM to dp his wife with me. Now that is consideration! The gist of my scribble is: Meet up with the couple for a chat and establish where the boundaries lie. If you are straight make it clear, I'm sure any reasonable couple will accept this without question, or if they are looking for a bi-guy they will say so. Also establish if you are expected to go bareback or use condoms,( I think it is good manners to bring your own) and what activities are out of bounds, Anal,Kissing,To cum inside or not etc. Most of all if you don't feel happy about it, Don't do it
My MFM meets have not been as well "briefed" as some here. Some meets were on neutral ground first, see if we like each other, then either arrange to meet again or out of the pub back to theirs and straight down to it! Others have been, "Oh hi, we've been waiting for you, partner is upstairs getting ready". It's just like life, different strokes for different folks. I take the attitude that I am a guest invited into someone's home/house/sex life. Try to act in the same manner as you would expect a guest in your house to act. I have to admit though that on the first trip to "their place" I alwways leave my wallet, house keys etc. in my car :shock: don't know why I have never had cause to need to. Seems to work reasonably well as I have only ever been asked to leave once and was invited back again later I have met some really great, bonkers people swinging. That's the real fun, the sex is the VERY thick icing on the cake. Oh yes and this is an advert
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or you go steaming in like a bull in a china shop :shock: 
) that says 'she's just going along with this to please him, stop it right now' :scared: 
) 
