I desperately need some advice!

11 Dec 2004

I know this is unrelated to swinging but I need some advice please! sad

As I mentioned a few times my wee brothers been living with me its really getting to me now to the point where its really interfeiring with my life in a bad way!
I cant get time to study for college and am starting to feel more and more stressed out as I never get a minute to myself! I know this is starting to affect my mental health as I speak
He now is makign a couple of friends in the area which would be good if they didnt show up at my fucking door looking for him at half one today pissed and breathing in my face asking if he was in and also asking if i had a boyfriend which I have to say really enraged me a fecking wee boy (get right to fuck!) I think they werent pleased but I gove not a fuck!
I think the time has come for a serious talk I feel shit but I know Im gonnna have to ask him to move out very soon as I really can handle all this extra responisbilty thats being put on me! I think my family are being really unfair but I dont want them to think im being a selfish bitch, I can see this causing an arguement very soon and I dont want it too but you just cant talk resonably to my family at all :(
So fucking stressful.

11 Dec 2004

I just had a quick chat with my mother, I need this sorted.
Ive spend enough time in my life fucking things up and having them fucked up for me before and always been left to my own devices to sort it out!
Im giving him till after xmas after that he will haev to go I cant do it anymore! Too much reponsibility!

11 Dec 2004

Quote by fruity1976
I just had a quick chat with my mother, I need this sorted.
Ive spend enough time in my life fucking things up and having them fucked up for me before and always been left to my own devices to sort it out!
Im giving him till after xmas after that he will haev to go I cant do it anymore! Too much reponsibility!

sounds fair to me.

11 Dec 2004

Thanks its nice to know Im not a complete bitch! confused

Families, canny fecking pick em eh!?

11 Dec 2004

Fruity, if I remember correctly in one of your other posts you mentioned that he had somewhere else to stay come January or so, am I right?
I know it's a toughy hun, and it's those contradictory feelings of *I love you so much* and *just get out of my fucking face will ya* that's the turmoil within.
You've got to do the tough love bit. Give him the 3-stikes-you're-out* rules.
He's what 16/17? He's old enough to bear responsibility for his actions. Set down what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. It's your house, you're bringing up a little one with your rules and if he wants to stay he needs to fit in with you, and not the other way round. Share some of the house-hold chores with him. If he's not working or contributing to the house-hold he get's the lions share of the chores. If he breaks the rules 3 times that's a resposibility he's going to have to take up, accept and deal with all on his own.
Just a suggestion. Try it perhaps, see if it works. If it doesn't at least you know you tried.
Good luck hun kiss

11 Dec 2004

haha cheers! Aye I had hoped January but was trying to help him to get into college for which he has an interview for, thing is though I am not his mother so I really shouldnt be shouldering any responsibility, personally I think she should be getting her finger out her arse and helping more! After all he is her son and not mine!
Him staying here was meant to be temporary (a week or 2) which has so far turned into I dunno how long but feels like ages I had hoped if he got into college he could move into halls of residence but that wont be for at least another 6-7 months and Im not gonna forefit my own future for it, sorry but Ive done it too many times before and am even falling a bit behind in some things in college cause im so stressed and never get any peace!
Also Im in a 2 bedroom flat so he in in my daughters room on a camp bed which is hardly fair on her as she is at that funny age (puberty!) now she cant even have her wee pals over to stay! Allround its totally unacceptable and no good for any of us! confused

11 Dec 2004

Well i'd tell him to piss off and stop treating the house like a hotel. i'd also tell him to stop sponging off society and make something of himself. then i'd phone the mother and tell her to grow up and start looking after her own brat and acting more like a mother than a teenager.
But then i've got the hump anyway!! lol

11 Dec 2004

hehe kinda what already ran through my head but that would cause a riot haha lol

11 Dec 2004

And he's not causing a riot in your house by acting like a twat?? and i actually think theres something legal saying he cant sleep in the same room as your daughter anyway cos theyre a certain age and theyre related. just tell your mum that.

11 Dec 2004

We had my brother staying some time ago,,just a few weeks while he sorted things out. It ran into a few months and began to cause loads of it from me hun,,your doin the right thing ,dont let it run on like we did,nip it in the bud and save yourself a shitload of grief...good luck xx

11 Dec 2004

Quote by dazandlou
And he's not causing a riot in your house by acting like a twat?? and i actually think theres something legal saying he cant sleep in the same room as your daughter anyway cos theyre a certain age and theyre related. just tell your mum that.

I think it's any older than 8 or something and they should be sleeping in the same room, don't know if it's law or just a guideline for Social Services - but i've heard something along those lines.

11 Dec 2004

Tell u what now the wee shitheads going tomorrow, when my mother leaves here so will he! His fucking wee pals up at the door pissed again!
Not having this shit! evil

:evil: :evil: :evil:

11 Dec 2004

I really don't blame you if you have a young un as well.

11 Dec 2004

Hey
I've been a brother living at a sister's house. I was of course an angel ;) but even that eventually ran it's course...Eventually we had a huge barney and we sorted things out. I didnt leave straight away but was more understanding of her need to have some space....Now I have had people stay with me for a few weeks and I can understand her point of view..
You are not being hard...there is a reason people leave home...humans need space to do their own thing...you are just normal.
And if he cared about you as much as you do about him..he will understand...even if it takes him a while smile

11 Dec 2004

As for his piss head palls.....buy a big dog...dont feed it.....piss it off big time...let the dog answer the door next time they come back ! biggrin

11 Dec 2004

Can i just ask why he's staying with you in the first place??? Feel free to pm by reply - even if you just want to tell me its none of my business, lol!!

11 Dec 2004

Nothing practical from me today fruity, (the twins started on me earlier) so here, have these.
:therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: passionkiss

assionkiss: hump

(oops. how did that get in there)

11 Dec 2004

He was here cause a load of wee guys were after him oup at my mothers bit so I said he could stay for a couple of weeks!!
BUT!!
Hes gone home and everythings kinda sorted smile

Im sooooooooooo happy now I really needed that I thought I could never see an end to him being here and what a huge relief.
Spoke to my mother thank fuck its all sorted was such a stressfull few weeks I could do without now I can at least get some peace to catch up on my homework! biggrin

Thanks for the help and support everybody! Even your cheeky post Dambuster as useless as it was it gave me a wee laugh lol

Cheeky Bugger :D

11 Dec 2004

Glad everythings sorted it's self out......now get off here and get on with your homework!!!
lol

11 Dec 2004

One the weans in bed im gonna get to it later! We're just dossing about the house atm something we havent had peace to do for ages!
Back in a testosterone free zone! lol

11 Dec 2004

Quote by fruity1976
Thanks for the help and support everybody! Even your cheeky post Dambuster as useless as it was it gave me a wee laugh Cheeky Bugger

Glad it's sorted for you Sweetie.

11 Dec 2004

Cheers so am I was beginning to write myself off for xmas dinner in teh local psychiactric unit! :shock: lol

11 Dec 2004

I know exactly how you felt Fruity, I had my 16 year old sister in law living with us 'temporarily', in my then 11 year old sons room. We 'encouraged' her to do something for herself, even down to finding out where she needed to go to get a place for herself, training scheme to support herself etc. She didn't budge for 4 months. By that time my marriage was in tatters (although this was only one of the reasons), I threw my ex out and her along with him in the end.
The only difference was that she lived with us because my father in law had died and left her alone so we also had the sympathy vote to deal with, how could we throw her out when her dad had just died. Funny how none of the rest of the family thought that THEY could care for her, just landed the guilt trip on us rolleyes

11 Dec 2004

Families can be so inconsiderate! I even kept hinting to my mum that i needed a break for weeks and not a singleoffer of help! Thank fuck i can get back to some normality now biggrin