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I don''''t feel proud of myself

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I was on a train the other evening coming back from town, when a lady stood up and said along the lines of
“ sorry for interrupting your evening, but I am homeless and as such do not get a giro check delivered while this is being sorted out at present I have no money and haven’t eaten today, I do not want to turn to crime, so I am asking could anyone spare a small donation”
I felt my feelings being split on the one hand I would like to give if I knew she was genuine on the other hand I don’t like to be taken as a fool.
So I just sat watched to see what happened.
I was pleasantly surprised as I would say a quarter of the people on the train gave her some money, while the others I felt by the look on their faces looked with suspicion like I was.
After she walked down the carriage it leads to a discussion amongst those that gave and those that didn’t.
All that gave said that they would fell angry if she was not genuine, I said you gave with good intent so don’t let her destroy that within you, feel proud of what you did.
While those that didn’t give all said they would to genuine know cases.
While I don’t feel proud of myself I would have given to a genuine case.
What it has done is restored my faith in the human race, as I saw that even with todays climate people really do care. I walk off the train with a very good feeling within but I wasn’t proud.
What would you have done?
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I have to ask if it may have been a slight feeling of guilt or embarassment that encouraged people to give?
Undisclosed peer-pressure from others on the train?
I'm sure the person asking for donations walked off of that one carriage with a darned sight more money than one days allowance from the DSS.
I'm not ashamed to say that I wouldn't have given anything, I see to much of this and wouldnever be able to give to all who ask, and won't make a judgement call on each and every case I come across.
Good business practice though... a trapped audience on a train, and a female asking for donations.
lp
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I wouldn't have either.
And if I'd been brave I might have got into a conversation with her to see why she spent money on a train fare instead of on food.
And if people think that's none of my business, well she would have made it my business by inviting me to give her money.
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I wouldn't have given either.
For every genuine case there must be half dozen who put on the act to glean cash by guilt. The problem is you'll never know which is which and you shouldn't feel bad about your decision not to give.
Sex God
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On the street I may have taken her to a fast food place and offered food and coffee. In the past it has been turned down. So much for needing money for food!
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Quote by
On the street I may have taken her to a fast food place and offered food and coffee. In the past it has been turned down. So much for needing money for food!

I've done this too. We have a lot of people begging in the city centre and they always seem to sit outside the fast food places. I've bought food and coffee which has always been gratefully accepted but I won't give money.
After watching a programme the other week about a guy selling the Big Issue, it's put me off buying that too!
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First saw this "begging on a train touch" in Paris about mid-90s, not many French gave anything!!
At the same time in Paris there was a load of what appeared to be Romany women (usually with very small children with them) selling little bags full of flour with faces painted on them. Still begging but with a "retail" angle. We were told to look out for the "leader of the pack" who was invariably a man who watched over the women and when they had got a bit of cash he came and "emptied the tills".
Soon got the hang of spotting these characters.
While we were sitting in a cafe, one of these women with young child came round begging. We bought some little cakes and biscuits for the child then watched as the woman walked away muttering and put the cakes and biscuits in the nearest bin!!
John & Shel
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Quote by Theladyisaminx
I was on a train the other evening coming back from town, when a lady stood up and said along the lines of
“ sorry for interrupting your evening, but I am homeless and as such do not get a giro check delivered while this is being sorted out at present I have no money and haven’t eaten today, I do not want to turn to crime, so I am asking could anyone spare a small donation”
I felt my feelings being split on the one hand I would like to give if I knew she was genuine on the other hand I don’t like to be taken as a fool.
So I just sat watched to see what happened.
I was pleasantly surprised as I would say a quarter of the people on the train gave her some money, while the others I felt by the look on their faces looked with suspicion like I was.
After she walked down the carriage it leads to a discussion amongst those that gave and those that didn’t.
All that gave said that they would fell angry if she was not genuine, I said you gave with good intent so don’t let her destroy that within you, feel proud of what you did.
While those that didn’t give all said they would to genuine know cases.
While I don’t feel proud of myself I would have given to a genuine case.
What it has done is restored my faith in the human race, as I saw that even with todays climate people really do care. I walk off the train with a very good feeling within but I wasn’t proud.
What would you have done?

she could afford a train ticket ffs!!! i cant
Sexlightened
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My attitude is that if they're on benefits, I've already made a donation by working and paying tax so why should I pay again?
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I would always spare upto a quid for those who are obviously in a worse position than me.
By giving, even a very small amount , you could be making a difference....
I normally just flick beggars 20p or so in change... or even better, give em a couple of ciggies.
Hey presto..... no guilt wink
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Just another scam,seen it done on the train myself...i just tell them to jog on!!
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I never give to individuals asking for money in any situation like the woman in the original post. When/if people want to give to homeless people, I think it's better to give money to charities like Shelter.
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Quote by Cherrytree
I wouldn't have either.
And if I'd been brave I might have got into a conversation with her to see why she spent money on a train fare instead of on food.

Thats assuming that she isn't a fare dodger.
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Last Saturday I pulled up at a service station just off the M40. Having paid for my fuel and wine gums lol I was walking back to my car when I was called over to another car by a young female. She apparently had travelled down from Birmingham and was on her way to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford to vist her extremely ill grandmother. She had had her purse stolen with her credit cards in and had spent half the night in the police station sorting it out and her cards had been cancelled, but she needed money for fuel and if we exchanged addresses she would send me a cheque as soon as she got home.
I just said 'sorry, I can't help' and walked back to my car, had a wine gum and drove away.
Why?
Well, firstly, as I was called over, another woman thought she was talking to her, but was waved away, making me think she thought she had a better chance with a bloke than another female.
Next, she gave the whole story in one go as if to cut off me asking questions about where she was going, why she didn't have any money and how she would repay me - too well rehearsed.
The other thing was that if she was heading to Oxford and had come off at the nearby junction of the M40, she was heading in completely the wrong direction and would have had to pass the services to get to this garage!
Still, the wine gums were ok! :lol:
Mal
wink
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I would have given what I had.
I am lucky enough that I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and people who love me. I like to share that love as often as possible. If to that woman it is money, she can have it.
There is nothing foolish about giving with honesty and love.
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Quote by splendid_
I would have given what I had.
I am lucky enough that I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and people who love me. I like to share that love as often as possible. If to that woman it is money, she can have it.
There is nothing foolish about giving with honesty and love.

Completely agree! I would have given what I had too.
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sex God
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I'd offer to buy them something to eat from a supermarket or the like, As for giving the cash Nahhhhhh not likely I'll put mine in a poppy sellers bucket or the like. Still no guarantees I guess but hey.
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hmmm, what to say and how to say it ?
first of all I think I'll state that I am a bit of a cynic, so my view is tainted, though the flipside of that is that I will always give the benefit of the doubt and try to see everything individually.
Looking at the original post, I would have seen a 'scam' I think.. but hey, I see this all the time on the tubes in london and the commutor trains into and out of this wonderfull city where the streets are paved with gold and all that jazz.
However... I'm always envious of the 'successful' beggar (no matter how it's spelt) whether they be 'professional' (scammer) or the genuine needy, nomatter thier circumstance.
Why envious?
Well... I was rubbish!
An attrocious beggar who managed to take not one penny for a bite to eat. And yes, it really was a bite to eat that I required.
Perhaps my appraoch was wrong.. not enough thought put into the patter... nor enough confidence in a posible profitable outcome?
Could be, though I would have been a pitifull sight no doubt.
Perhaps a little too far 'beyond' the help of the casual passer-by in those days? I did look a little rough around the edges I should think.
Also my pitch... not good. Outside Tooting Bec Station of wet afternoon, looking pitifully and shamefully at those emerging from the tunnels.
Thats where I may have gone wrong you see, perhaps I should have smartened up my act a bit... jumped the barriers and tried for that easilly shamed 'captive audience'? But that would have taken effort.. and all I wanted was a bag of chips or a sarnie... I didn't want to be wandering too far from the 'home', as I never had the energy, I may not have made it back.
Still... only pride had me feeling even worse about myself as I tried to get a few pence from the Good Citizen... the pride that prevented me from taking from the bins on the Upper Tooting Road a discarded snack or piece of fruit. I wouldn't have had to attempt to beg if I could have done that like a 'propper' down and out.
I'm waffling (no, there were no waffles then either, phnarrr!)
lp
Sex God
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Yep I would have given, I can't walk past anyone on the street begging without giving them money. I been very lucky in my life with a good job, my own house and wonderful kids and it saddens me to see people like this to the point I almost feel guilty about what I have.............
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Quote by Theladyisaminx
I was on a train the other evening coming back from town, when a lady stood up and said along the lines of
“ sorry for interrupting your evening, but I am homeless and as such do not get a giro check delivered while this is being sorted out at present I have no money and haven’t eaten today, I do not want to turn to crime, so I am asking could anyone spare a small donation”
I felt my feelings being split on the one hand I would like to give if I knew she was genuine on the other hand I don’t like to be taken as a fool.
So I just sat watched to see what happened.
I was pleasantly surprised as I would say a quarter of the people on the train gave her some money, while the others I felt by the look on their faces looked with suspicion like I was.
After she walked down the carriage it leads to a discussion amongst those that gave and those that didn’t.
All that gave said that they would fell angry if she was not genuine, I said you gave with good intent so don’t let her destroy that within you, feel proud of what you did.
While those that didn’t give all said they would to genuine know cases.
While I don’t feel proud of myself I would have given to a genuine case.
What it has done is restored my faith in the human race, as I saw that even with todays climate people really do care. I walk off the train with a very good feeling within but I wasn’t proud.
What would you have done?

Call me cynical, but I would have thought a scam.
I don't like beggers at the best of times, and maybe she should do what millions of others do, and work for her money?
I have heard about these scams before, and more than likely has a better income than most of the people that had given her money. Or the money to feed a drug habit perhaps.
In any case I would not give to someone in the street, or on a train under those circumstances. I give my money every month to a proper charity case.....cancer research.
Orgasminator
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Loads of these scams in london, I don't give anything!
If I see a beggar with a dog, I will by dog food.
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Quote by markz
Yep I would have given, I can't walk past anyone on the street begging without giving them money. I been very lucky in my life with a good job, my own house and wonderful kids and it saddens me to see people like this to the point I almost feel guilty about what I have.............

I am of the same mind as you, as I feel lucky to have what I have and I would help anyone that I thought was a genuine case. I did feel that there are charities set up for people that are homeless and destitute, I believe there are very few people these days unlike years ago that need to suffer starvation in this country.
I did feel somewhat that it could have been money to aid a drug problem so I didn’t want to support that. As I was not in a position to have bought her a coffee or sandwich I didn’t give anything.
If her case was genuine why didn’t she ask at the station where there were a lot of fast food restaurants instead of boarding a train?
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there aren't barriers at every station.
There are people all over the country who are starving or, as is used in literature/publications 'under nourished'. I see many,every single day.
to quote someone who shall remain nameless.
For every immigrant who 'goes home', 5 soapbox manufacturers go bust.
For every "Feral youth" who finds 'gainful employment', 8 workers at the High Horse making factory in High Halden get put on the dole.
For every prisoner who's X-Box is taken away, thus removing his/her urge to re-offend, a Prison Officer, or member of the support staff is handed their P45.
For every 5 beggars who get a job, a Sun headline writer loses theirs.
In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."
Sexlightened
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Like most of you, I have heard this all before and know that it is a scam. I would give her nothing unless she was an absolute babe - then I would have taken her to Sheekys for a slap up meal and possibly into the St Martins for pay back time wink .
Only jesting ladies biggrin .
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Quote by splendid_
there aren't barriers at every station.
There are people all over the country who are starving or, as is used in literature/publications 'under nourished'. I see many, every single day.
to quote someone who shall remain nameless.
For every immigrant who 'goes home', 5 soapbox manufacturers go bust.
For every "Feral youth" who finds 'gainful employment', 8 workers at the High Horse making factory in High Halden get put on the dole.
For every prisoner who's X-Box is taken away, thus removing his/her urge to re-offend, a Prison Officer, or member of the support staff is handed their P45.
For every 5 beggars who get a job, a Sun headline writer loses theirs.
In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."

Well whoever said all that rubbish, must be a " team leader " at Liberty.
For all those that do give to " beggers ", I wonder how you would feel if the money they collected, went straight to their dealers?
What about those people who are quoted above, do what I do every day of the week, and get off their arses and get work? I do and so do millions of others.
The statement above, I would love to see where these people get their facts from....certainly not from the Sun. Spouting miss facts can be a dangerous thing. :shock:
Phew........glad I got that off me chest this morning. wink
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Quote by kentswingers777


In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."

Well whoever said all that rubbish, must be a " team leader " at Liberty.
What about those people who are quoted above, do what I do every day of the week, and get off their arses and get work? I do and so do millions of others.
The statement above, I would love to see where these people get their facts from....certainly not from the Sun. Spouting miss facts can be a dangerous thing.

If I give to 20 people who are scamming and only 1 who isn't ......... then at least I gave to the one who isn't!
What a sad world where no-one wants to help anyone less fortunate than themselves anymore?
Selfish, greedy and a place with no soul!!!!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Quote by kentswingers777
there aren't barriers at every station.
There are people all over the country who are starving or, as is used in literature/publications 'under nourished'. I see many, every single day.
to quote someone who shall remain nameless.
For every immigrant who 'goes home', 5 soapbox manufacturers go bust.
For every "Feral youth" who finds 'gainful employment', 8 workers at the High Horse making factory in High Halden get put on the dole.
For every prisoner who's X-Box is taken away, thus removing his/her urge to re-offend, a Prison Officer, or member of the support staff is handed their P45.
For every 5 beggars who get a job, a Sun headline writer loses theirs.
In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."

Well whoever said all that rubbish, must be a " team leader " at Liberty.
For all those that do give to " beggers ", I wonder how you would feel if the money they collected, went straight to their dealers?
What about those people who are quoted above, do what I do every day of the week, and get off their arses and get work? I do and so do millions of others.
The statement above, I would love to see where these people get their facts from....certainly not from the Sun. Spouting miss facts can be a dangerous thing. :shock:
Phew........glad I got that off me chest this morning. wink
yes complete rubbish...prisoners are not allowed X box's anyway!
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Quote by Mr-Powers
there aren't barriers at every station.
There are people all over the country who are starving or, as is used in literature/publications 'under nourished'. I see many, every single day.
to quote someone who shall remain nameless.
For every immigrant who 'goes home', 5 soapbox manufacturers go bust.
For every "Feral youth" who finds 'gainful employment', 8 workers at the High Horse making factory in High Halden get put on the dole.
For every prisoner who's X-Box is taken away, thus removing his/her urge to re-offend, a Prison Officer, or member of the support staff is handed their P45.
For every 5 beggars who get a job, a Sun headline writer loses theirs.
In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."

Well whoever said all that rubbish, must be a " team leader " at Liberty.
For all those that do give to " beggers ", I wonder how you would feel if the money they collected, went straight to their dealers?
What about those people who are quoted above, do what I do every day of the week, and get off their arses and get work? I do and so do millions of others.
The statement above, I would love to see where these people get their facts from....certainly not from the Sun. Spouting miss facts can be a dangerous thing. :shock:
Phew........glad I got that off me chest this morning. wink
yes complete rubbish...prisoners are not allowed X box's anyway!
Yes I thought that as well. It is only Playstations I think.
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Quote by blonde


In reality, the "underclass" have their uses. They allow people such as yourself the opportunity to be sanctimonious. They also serve as a reminder to the rest of us that it can happen to anyone.
"From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far."

Well whoever said all that rubbish, must be a " team leader " at Liberty.
What about those people who are quoted above, do what I do every day of the week, and get off their arses and get work? I do and so do millions of others.
The statement above, I would love to see where these people get their facts from....certainly not from the Sun. Spouting miss facts can be a dangerous thing.

If I give to 20 people who are scamming and only 1 who isn't ......... then at least I gave to the one who isn't!
What a sad world where no-one wants to help anyone less fortunate than themselves anymore?
Selfish, greedy and a place with no soul!!!!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

each to their own!
you want to give your money away thats fine by me...no one on here has knocked anyone from doing so!
so if people choose to keep there hard earned cash in their pockets that also their choice...and i don't thing we should be made to feel guilty otherwise by about giving our money to some con artist or not.