I F**K YE NOT!

1 Apr 2004

Right you lot, LISTEN UP!
This is a tale of gread sadness........ :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Today the SH website got an email from Solicitors acting on behalf of an organisation for which we had built our own web pages. This letter was copied to all of the moderators. The letter basically threatened legal action against the site if the S H hmm hmm pages stayed up!
Many of you will have noticed that the S H hmm hmm pages have disappeared - they are no more! Gone! Dead! Deceased! Snuffed it! :cry: :cry:
This is not an April Fool's - although we did think it may have been to start with! mad

:x :x
We are no longer allowed to use the word hmm hmm (The letter before X and the letter after H for those who are struggling!) rolleyes

:roll:
We are not allowed to use the hmm hmm logo, or any words from their website. Although not specifically mentioned I do not suppose we can use the tune Jerusalem or the parody of their anthem! wink

So here is the challenge - The SH hmm hmm must go on! lol

:lol:
We need a new name for this club / association
We need a new Logo
We need a tune (How about Yellow Polka Dot Bikini!) makes as much sense as the old one!
We need new words for our theme
If you lot can help me I will rebuild the pages and we will put them back up. We are not allowed to use hmm hmm's Registered trade mark or logo. We cannot make any reference to hmm hmm or hmmomen's hmmnstitute "or any variation or deviation thereof" or use any words from their website! :roll: :roll:
Basically folks - do not parody them - take the piss - use their name or anything. Anyone with anything in their signatures needs to remove them and if we do it again you will all have to give yourselves up to the nearest hmm hmm meeting on the second Thursday of the month for a public flogging! (Sorry hmm hmm, bit of a joke there!) :wink:
I appreciate that there will be great disbelief among us all but they do have a point and in the original hmm hmm threads I did say that someone may say something one day and they did! :doh: :doh:
Let's move on and not get Mark or the site into trouble! 8) 8)
My work on the April edition will now not take place until we have solved this issue and can move forwards!
Once the new pages are done I am sure we will invite the representatives of the hmm hmm's solicitors to check out the pages and ensure we have complied with their request! rotflmao

In the meantime the S H hmm hmm pages are removed, all threads relating to the S H hmm hmm have been deleted and normal service will be resumed as soon as possible! 8) 8)
Fred
Whispering to Sarge *Does that mean I can't use words like wish or wipe or wimmin?* confused

1 Apr 2004

hhhhhmmmmmm
hhhmm
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mad

1 Apr 2004

I'm intrigued as to how they got to know about it: did they mention it?

1 Apr 2004

Bit of a bugger. I'll give it some thought.
If you need a hand with any of the web work Fred PM me.

1 Apr 2004

Quote by Jags
hhhhhmmmmmm
hhhmm
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Lost for words Jags?
NOW THERE'S A FIRST!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

1 Apr 2004

I'm with Arti, How many hmmm hmmm members are loking at this site?

1 Apr 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone

hhhhhmmmmmm
hhhmm
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Lost for words Jags?
NOW THERE'S A FIRST!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
But I'm not lost for slaps....

:smackbottom: (at a place near you soon!)
I was thinking of Crash Test Dummies there.... 'once, there was a boy, who wouldn't get changed with the others in the changing room....'
:shock: :shock:

1 Apr 2004

At first I thought this was an April Fools Day joke as I have been waiting for one to pop up all day.
Then you pointed out it wasn't an April Fools which you wouldn't have done if it was, because that would have drawn attention to the fact it was April Fools Day.
Then I started thinking that it was a double-bluff. By pointing out it was April Fools Day you thought that every one would dismiss the possibility of it being a joke!!!! confused

:? :?
Now I haven't got a clue!!!! Do you ever start a post and wish that you hadn't???
So Fred, are we allowed to use the initials Hmmm Hmmm, or is that out too? As you know, I work for the Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm but I know of other companies that use the same initials?
dunno

:dunno: :dunno: :dunno:

1 Apr 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
So Fred, are we allowed to use the initials Hmmm Hmmm, or is that out too? As you know, I work for the Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm but I know of other companies that use the same initials?

That'll start a witch hunt :twisted:

1 Apr 2004

Quote by JQL
Bit of a bugger. I'll give it some thought.
If you need a hand with any of the web work Fred PM me.

John,
Thanks for the offer - to be honest with you removing a few logo's and words and the theme song will take less than 5 mins - It is all the replacement stuff that will take the time!
I know Brumlad is a whizz with the graphics - can someone go find him!
Sappho could probably come up with the right tune and then Will and Arti need a "poem off" between them to write our anthem!
No Sarge - definitely not a joke mate - these guys are serious - there were even three of them on the letterhead! Their initials are BWB - perhaps we could use that!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
In fact I feel that new rules may be forthcoming.
You can no longer use the letter M in case McDonalds get to hear of it and think we are parodying thehmm.
DAHhmm - just realised - cant use hmm now because hmm is banned - how about ooo errr?
Fred

1 Apr 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
So Fred, are we allowed to use the initials Hmmm Hmmm, or is that out too? As you know, I work for the Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm but I know of other companies that use the same initials?
:dunno: :dunno: :dunno:

Sarge! You shouldn't have mentioned you work for the Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm! You've blown your cover man: agents are supposed to stay undercover at all times. I expect George Hmmm. Bush will be on the blower to the Hmmm Hmmm, Mr Blair, e'en as we speak, arranging to have you fitted with a new identity and a new life in a different country. You can't stay in the Hmmm Hmmm now, it won't be safe! Down at Cheltenham, Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm will be scanning the airwaves for the first signs that 'Johnny Foreigner' has caught on. A team of Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm elte protection specialists will be assigned to guard you and an Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm transport plane will pick you up and drop you into your new life.
We'll miss you Sarge
Arti
Hmmm Hmmm
Can I have the tank? I need to roll some crops.

1 Apr 2004

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
I notice nobody has posted their regret at the loss of the Hmm Hmm webpage. It's a crying shame that we have had to lose it, although the reasons are perfectly understandable. However, there was so much talent on that page, so much potential, that it would be criminal to lose it entirely.
I'm sure the ladies of the so-recently defunct SH Hmm Hmm would agree, not to mention the honourable male members who contributed so much?
So, can I suggest a new initiative? Naturally under a new name. A couple of suggestions...
The Swinging Heaven Ladies' Seminary
The Swinging Heaven Feminine Group
The Swinging Heaven Allied Girlies (SHAG)
The Swinging Heaven Distaff Association
The Swinging Heaven Harem
The Swinging Heaven Fem Society
The Swinging Heaven Wench Combination
I'm sure some of our resident bright sparks can come up with other suggestions.
In the meantime, the biggest vote of thanks. heartfelt hugs and indiscriminate acts of oral appreciation to Mark and Fred and to everyone who contributed to the now defunct SH Hmm Hmm.
Love a Very Sad Sappho xxx

1 Apr 2004

Don't be sad, Sappho! It isn't lost. Merely renamed. It will be back, with all the fun and all the frolics.

1 Apr 2004

Sarge
I'll make sure I'm assigned to your protection team that way I can convey your contribution to the site. smile

hmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm lol

:lol: of course I will pass it off as my contribution

1 Apr 2004

I've never doubted that someone is scanning over every word we write, button lipped and just seething that we can carry on in such an open manner. Right now, some pompous wizzen faced old fart is rubbing their hands with glee and claiming this a small victory.
Granted, it took them a fair old while to come up with the copyright angle... but it only serves to double our resolve. wink

We really do need folks to be extra thoughtful and extra vigilant. Don't do anything contentious... and the moment you see folks breaking the AUP, alert a moderator.
As Fred said, let's watch out for Mark and Helen. biggrin

Hxx

1 Apr 2004

Oh FFS!
I've just bloody realised! I'm no longer Secretary of the SH Hmm Hmm (HRT) am I. Oh brilliant, sodding well redundant for the second time in six weeks! evil

I am going to need some serious soothing after this. As for the retail therapy required - watch out Shrewsbury, I'm on my way! (Nearly wrote 'I'm coming', but thought that might provoke a few risque comments!)
A Redundant Sappho xxx

1 Apr 2004

Bum deal there Fred, rolleyes

However I have a suggestion as to a new name: How about
The Victorian Ladies Socierty for the emancipation of Women. or abbreviated to the VLS lol

If such a society existed, surely all it's members will have been dead ages. :twisted:
Just a thought.
Harry0

1 Apr 2004

:x :x :x :x :x
I'm now pissed off at the fact that this place seems to be coming under attack for the second time (after the whole SC thing).....
Never mind, we'll keep at it.
If you need any help with anything Fred you only have to shout!! smile

1 Apr 2004

As Chairwoman of the Swinging Heaven Hmm Hmm it is a sad day. A very sad day indeed. My main concern is for our Bard. I can only refer to him now as ll .
Fear not we will return in a blaze of glory, trumpets sounding and banners flowing. United our knitting needles stand......Divided they fall. Join with me now in one last chorus .....
:karaoke:
And did this feat of ancient rhyme
Talk up Old England's fears so green?
And was the holy Rabbit rod
In England's urban bedrooms seen?
And did our countenance divine
Shine forth upon the Forum's ills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among those dark and manic thrills?
Bring me my beau of passions bold!
Bring me my Rabbit of desire!
I'll without fear
my legs unfold!
Fill me with lust that burns like fire!
I will not cease from sexual fight,
Nor shall your tool sleep in my hand,
Till we have built Jerusalem
In Swinging Heaven's pleasant land.
Sappho darling a new position awaits you soon...do not fear my sweet maiden.
Wipes a tear from her eye and packs willy warmers into wicker basket. Empties homemade KY Jelly down the sink - urghhh sticks like shit to a blanket that stuff.
Love
Wilma
EX Chairwoman SH HmmHmm
x x x x x

1 Apr 2004

Quote by DreamerHelen
If you need any help with anything Fred you only have to shout!!

A blowjob won't go amiss right now!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
No? bugga! *sigh*
OK - worth asking!

1 Apr 2004

Sappho I will do some retail therapy with you !!!!!
But for now ... ..... ... :therethere: :therethere: xx

1 Apr 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone

If you need any help with anything Fred you only have to shout!!

A blowjob won't go amiss right now!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
No? bugga! *sigh*
OK - worth asking!
Did I say 'no' to that request? wink

1 Apr 2004

Quote by Heather
I've never doubted that someone is scanning over every word we write, button lipped and just seething that we can carry on in such an open manner. Right now, some pompous wizzen faced old fart is rubbing their hands with glee and claiming this a small victory.

Yes H - could not agree more...
However - revenge awaits that same "pompous wizzen faced old fart" - he will have arrived home - told his wife about their victory and she will then have poured his soup in his lap as she has only been getting sex because she has been a member of this site for years and has met most of us and had a chance of winning this month's caption competition! :shock: :shock:
Now picture this - some poor junior at BWB has been tasked with checking this site every day to see what we are doing - they will then realise that this site is about humour and fun and full of intellectual people (mostly!) and that their action today will probably have cost the Hmm Hmm 60% of their membership in 10 or 20 years time. rolleyes

:roll:
I want to see the accounts of the Hmm Hmm next year where it will show a cost associated with Swinging Heaven - that will raise a few eyebrows!
Hey - hope it cost em a fair few squid for the letter!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Can someone attend conference this year and speak on behalf of the cyber Hmm Hmm that was cut off in it's prime!
I reckon it was Mrs Wibble who dobbed us in - remember, she was the one who bought the homemade love egg from the table top sale and decided to put it in there and then only to find that the egg was not hard boiled????! I told you it was a mistake to charge her for the clean pair of knickers from the "Rummage in Yer Knickers" bin! wink

Fred

1 Apr 2004

Quote by DreamerHelen
Did I say 'no' to that request?

There is a GOD!
ohh ohhhh! - I'll probably get a letter from his lawyer as well "though shalt not........" rolleyes

1 Apr 2004

Whilst I agree with Sappho that the work thats lost is a shame (that girl makes a lot of sense, you know) it is, as DJohn says, chance for a "re-branding" as such and nothing is actually wasted so far. So, Sappho, just smile to yourself knowing that whatever the collective morphs into (as it will) you'll have a new post to sit on.
Hmmmm, that last sentence really didn't end as planned lol

On a purely selfish level I was on 499posts and really wanted to post on many threads but felt it was a waste of my big 500th - hence my little quiet spell. Now, with a number of my posts on this subject deleted I can post freely for a few more !!!! So, off the top of my head:-
Girles of Swinging Heaven - GOSH !
Assembled Beauties of Voracious Enjoyment - ABOVE
Women of Wonder - WOW
or, more enigmatically,
The Collective, The Group, The Posse (lets see the logo for that !)
Ok, I know they aren't a patch on the parody of Hmm Hmm but I'm trying !!!
{crowd chant as one - Yeah, very trying}

1 Apr 2004

Quote by Carpathian
The Collective, The Group, The Posse

You mean like "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" - only problem is where do we find "The Good"?
Fred

1 Apr 2004

I will treat that last post of your Fred with the contempt it deserves.
Just a thought could we be called Hmm Hmm SH - Women In Swinging Heaven??
Am I in trouble?
Looks nervously around for Hmm Hmm representative.
Oh and BTW, I want a refund on my subs, and I'm not joking either.
Oh and another thing.... YOU CAN BUY JAM!!!!! flipa

Love
Wilma
x x x

1 Apr 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone

The Collective, The Group, The Posse

You mean like "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" - only problem is where do we find "The Good"?
Fred
the good? how much gooder (patented word) can you get than an ANGEL?? :twisted:
oops .... I mean :angel:

1 Apr 2004

FRED !!!! The good have got to be the dog......sheep......goat.... alll inocent... trundelled in all naive. Found something they didn't expect.......... BAD !!!!!!!! definately GIRLS lol

:lol: :lol:
UGLY.......... you boys untill I know better !!!!!!!!! xx

1 Apr 2004

Reporting in from a Secret Location !!!
What about the Under Used Institution?
We could call it the Double "U" I confused

:? :? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: wink