I hate christmas shopping - I need an excuse (help !)

22 Nov 2008

Tomorrow morning I am to be dragged kicking and screaming around the shops to help Dawnie with the christmas shopping.
Strange, I thought Santa arranged everything :shock:
So I need an illness real quick which prevents me from going shopping. It can't have any visible symptoms, cos obviously I don't have it must be so serious that I can't go shopping.
The cure? Well an afternoon of watching the darts on televsion, and a fried egg sarnie when Dawnie gets back from shopping should do it, but I'm running out of time to research my excuse.
Failing a fake illness, the only thing I think that I could use as a valid, believable excuse is that three bifems have booked a local hotel room and want me to spend some quality time with them.
C'mon folks, I'm relying on you to get me out of this shopping trip.
But shhhhh mum's the word. Don't want Dawnie finding out I'm faking it. lol

Ian

22 Nov 2008

tell dawnie i've been snogging you and you;ve contracted shopaphobia...means you cant go near shops, need to lie down and rest and eat fried egg sarnies in the afetrnoon to recoup from it lol
Annie xx

22 Nov 2008

Quote by annie_19704
tell dawnie i've been snogging you and you;ve contracted shopaphobia...means you cant go near shops, need to lie down and rest and eat fried egg sarnies in the afetrnoon to recoup from it lol
Annie xx

:thumbup:
I like it.
But I think I might have been rumbled. She's asking me what I'm laughing at. Damn do I need two escuses now?

22 Nov 2008

Seems like a common complaint. There are . ;-)

22 Nov 2008

Ahhhhhh now then you need the old DIY accident trick :-) What you do is...
Find a job above head height you need to do. For example. Hanging a picture or putting a high shelf up, changing a bulb. get yourself a chair to stand on which is done while your partner is about then ask your partner to go get something for you from somewhere other than where you are. As your partner disappears you get off chair and kick it clattering across the floor making a scream as you do and sitting on the floor clutching your ankle or knee or something. Partner rushes in you say "I'm OK but i think i've badly twisted ankle/knee etc I'm sorry you'll have to shop alone i really cant walk. Oh and bring back some Ralgex with you". Then hobble to favourite chair asking if anyone knows where the remote is and any chance of a coffee before they go out? Jobs a goodun! biggrin

22 Nov 2008

Quote by Ian
Tomorrow morning I am to be dragged kicking and screaming around the shops to help Dawnie with the christmas shopping.
Strange, I thought Santa arranged everything :shock:
So I need an illness real quick which prevents me from going shopping. It can't have any visible symptoms, cos obviously I don't have it must be so serious that I can't go shopping.
The cure? Well an afternoon of watching the darts on televsion, and a fried egg sarnie when Dawnie gets back from shopping should do it, but I'm running out of time to research my excuse.
Failing a fake illness, the only thing I think that I could use as a valid, believable excuse is that three bifems have booked a local hotel room and want me to spend some quality time with them.
C'mon folks, I'm relying on you to get me out of this shopping trip.
But shhhhh mum's the word. Don't want Dawnie finding out I'm faking it.
Ian

:kick: :kick: that should get you out of walking around the shops wink

I hate xmas shopping confused

I feel for ya Ian, I really do sad

22 Nov 2008

Quote by Lost
Ahhhhhh now then you need the old DIY accident trick :-) What you do is...
Find a job above head height you need to do. For example. Hanging a picture or putting a high shelf up, changing a bulb. get yourself a chair to stand on which is done while your partner is about then ask your partner to go get something for you from somewhere other than where you are. As your partner disappears you get off chair and kick it clattering across the floor making a scream as you do and sitting on the floor clutching your ankle or knee or something. Partner rushes in you say "I'm OK but i think i've badly twisted ankle/knee etc I'm sorry you'll have to shop alone i really cant walk. Oh and bring back some Ralgex with you". Then hobble to favourite chair asking if anyone knows where the remote is and any chance of a coffee before they go out? Jobs a goodun!

Hmmm do you think I'd be well enough to play football on monday night though? Can't miss that cos we've got somebody new to kick.

22 Nov 2008

Or tell her you'll take care of all the shopping if she gives you a list... and you spend the rest of the day in front of the PC blitzing eBay and Amazon while she makes the eggy sarnies. Job done! :thumbup:

22 Nov 2008

Quote by cu3b4ll
Or tell her you'll take care of all the shopping if she gives you a list... and you spend the rest of the day in front of the PC blitzing eBay and Amazon while she makes the eggy sarnies. Job done! :thumbup:

But I'm sure Santa is supposed to do it all. I've seen the coca cola adverts on the telly already so I know he's about.

22 Nov 2008

Just come to Cardiff Ian - acceptable and indeed respectable excuses for generations have been either:
"I'm going to the match";
or
"Town will be too busy today because of the match".

22 Nov 2008

Ian,
you can come here and 'have' worlass and I. We both loathe shopping so can sympathise.
wink

22 Nov 2008

Quote by Ian
Or tell her you'll take care of all the shopping if she gives you a list... and you spend the rest of the day in front of the PC blitzing eBay and Amazon while she makes the eggy sarnies. Job done! :thumbup:

But I'm sure Santa is supposed to do it all. I've seen the coca cola adverts on the telly already so I know he's about.
I am a 21st century Santa here, this is what I done with a bacon and egg sarnie and a cup of coffee, all nice warm and cosy.
And if you shop in the right places there is no delivery charges, so saves on parking and fuel costs, so what you save you can have a treat of a take away and a bottle of wine tonight. :thumbup:

22 Nov 2008

You sure you're not in my house? :shock: I'm just sitting here with a yummy bacon and fried egg sarny and coffee.
I haven't been anywhere near a shop and nearly all the Xmas shopping is done now. :cool: Mind you, it's good to know I didn't just marry Mrs C for her body. ;-)

22 Nov 2008

Buy online, have it delivered to home, jobs a good one
:smug:

22 Nov 2008

:doh:
over several years men have been conditioned to hate shopping, it comes from the fact that society thought it was all for their own good. shops just could not find enough space for the chairs for husbands to loiter on outside of changing rooms, and sales went down when partners went with them. the does my bum look big in this and "okay i only look ok??!!!" resounding out around the shop. sales nose dived.
however with the credit crunch came a new found ideology... take the man with you... this way you will never spend more then you should. sadely the male brain being the size it is cannot see the psychological plotting behind this and try and find excuses not to go.
the plan should be to look enthusiastic, find the nearest plasma screen tv shop and while convincing the good lady that its what you really need and how much better desperate housewives will look on a 42 inch screen you can watch the darts.
the good lady willbe sooo impressed with your consideration for her that you willnot only get he egg sarnie when getting home but hump

xxxx fem xxx

22 Nov 2008

Quote by TheLovelyOne
Just come to Cardiff Ian - acceptable and indeed respectable excuses for generations have been either:
"Town will be too busy today because of the match".

That's been my excuse for years :giggle:
Now I just refuse to do ANY Christmas shopping until December is here! :smug:

22 Nov 2008

tell her u want to get her some thing for xmas ...
n need to go by yr self ...
then fall asleep , n find its to late..
or go down pub with sky sports...

22 Nov 2008

i think you should tell her you have some sort of flesh eating bug and the doctor says you cannot come out of isolation until after christmas lol

protects you and your wallet lol

or.. say you got something to do and cannot go with her (get her thinking your buying sneaky presents for someone).
then when she has left crack open a few beers and watch the tv.
When she returns with the heavy bags and the door opens wait..... then as she picks up the last one say 'can i help you with those love?'.
a great day had by all lol

22 Nov 2008

Ian :eeek: :kick:
And as for those that replied, well flipa

As it happens Ian did come and carry the bags for me and I did some great Chrsitmas shopping :smug:
I made it up to Ian by making him fried egg sarnies for his lunch biggrin

22 Nov 2008

Ffs Dawnie surely you would need a bus to carry it all home innocent

22 Nov 2008

we now in trouble theres no hiding place .

22 Nov 2008

If I'm honest,the shopping trip wasn't that bad.
What puts me off with shopping is when an item is located that is in stock, acceptable price / quality, is fit for purpose in every possible way, but it is returned to the shelf in the shop, and the following three hours are spent trudging round every other shop in the neighbourhood trying to find exactly the same thing, but five pence cheaper.
My philosophy in shopping,is when you've found what you want, buy it and get the hell out of there.
Which was edzachery what happened today.
And as for the egg sarnies for lunch biggrin

25 Dec 2008

:censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
She's started already.
Boxing day sales.
Come on folks, I need another excuse, and make it quick, Dawnie is already talking about setting an alarm clock so we get there early.
Doesn't she know I'm on holiday.

25 Dec 2008

Well we do have to go out in the morning anyway innocent

25 Dec 2008

Quote by Dawnie

Well we do have to go out in the morning anyway

why ? Is my mother coming round to visit.
bolt

25 Dec 2008

I'm sure you'll both have a great time....:smile:
Just think of all those queues, mad women fighting for the best bargain, men getting in the flipping way, kids screaming.... better than the telly :lol2: :lol2: