Hello again all,
After a month of putting my heart and soul into my new relationship I got the following text on Tuesday,
"Do you mind giving me a few days of space? I've got a lot to sort out in my life as well as my head + would appreciate it if you could respect that. x"
What else could I do? I agreed that I would call her on Friday if I had not heard from her by then, I knew that this could go one of two ways, she was going through a SHITTY divorce, from an abusive husband that controlled and refused to support her and her (and his) kids, had stopped paying the mortgage without telling her, she was unemployed, just taken a really shitty job that paid £90 a week to keep a roof over her and her kids heads and she was having a problem with comitment. She was either deciding to tell me to hit the road, or (less likely I admit) was taking time on deciding to comit to me the way I had to her. Anyway, I have received another text this lunchtime and this is what it says...
"Hi. Sorry, but husband has been round and I've decided 2 give it 1 more go for the kids. Can you pick your stuff up tonight. Thanks"
I have no choice but to respect her choice, her kids are the most important thing to her and I don't think that I it would be right to try to convince her (not that I could I guess) that staying away from him is the best thing that she could do for the kids and for herself. I've had a week of feeling really shit, in fact I have likened the feeling I have had this week to the feeling I got after my own wife told me to fuck off, out of the blue, nearly 2 years ago.
I guess I'll be making more appearances here at SH in the not too distant future then...
Chris
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I have a new significant other!!! - UPDATE
Sex God
:( :( :( AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Have a hug :therethere:
For what it's worth I think it's pretty mean of her to tell you that by text, but I suppose she's got a lot going on in her life at the mo.
Spend some time on here, we'll cheer you up
TBH I have pretty much prepared myself for the brush off since Tuesday, but it really was a shock to learn that she was going back to her hubby, especially as she is currently working at a and Sexual Abuse centre as a counsellot and only LAST WEEK did a presentation on Domestic Violence.
It's scary how much power someone can have over you like that. Since I met her, she has never had a nice thing to say about him.
On a lighter note, I considered breaking the etiquette and posting a thread titled "Anyone fancy a fuck."
It's scary how much power someone can have over you like that. Since I met her, she has never had a nice thing to say about him.
On a lighter note, I considered breaking the etiquette and posting a thread titled "Anyone fancy a fuck."
Sex God
i know you pretty well nowadays chris and id just like to publicly say a nicer guy im yet to meet, chin up and heres to your future, i can see the good wishes and cheeky smiles on lots of the girls faces on here right now mate. :twisted:
staggy
staggy
Quote by bluexxxDo I get to go on the reserve list for Satins party then!!! :shock:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Have a hug :therethere:
For what it's worth I think it's pretty mean of her to tell you that by text, but I suppose she's got a lot going on in her life at the mo.
Spend some time on here, we'll cheer you up
Marmalaid 
Follow this thread. http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/22524.html Once you've done that you'll find you're faced with two choices. You'll have a better understanding of her *choices* and be there to catch her when she has courage enough to leave him for good. Or you can understand her, hold dear the times you had together, then start to get over her.
Good luck.
Follow this thread. http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/22524.html Once you've done that you'll find you're faced with two choices. You'll have a better understanding of her *choices* and be there to catch her when she has courage enough to leave him for good. Or you can understand her, hold dear the times you had together, then start to get over her.
Good luck.
Quote by wild rose and the stagThanks staggy, whoever you are. That's really sweet of you to say. Does Wild Rose know that you have women staring through your bedroom window? :shock:
i know you pretty well nowadays chris and id just like to publicly say a nicer guy im yet to meet, chin up and heres to your future, i can see the good wishes and cheeky smiles on lots of the girls faces on here right now mate. :twisted:
staggy
Sex God
awwwwww chris.. come and have some hugs and smootches( or tia maria 
) from us.. will cheer u up!
x x x x xx x x x x x x x
) from us.. will cheer u up!x x x x xx x x x x x x x
Hi Marms sorry to see you back in these circumstances.
I suspect your ability to influence your friend is dwarfed by her resistance to change, she will have spent years learning to cope and survive in her world , no matter how hostile we outsiders perceive it . In contemplating a change in her life style she will face the unknown and in addition face the terrifying prospect of losing or damaging her matter what her feelings for you she will compare that to a life she was at least in control of as she saw it ...after all she made it trough before didn't she.
So its not you thats the reason for her choice its fear of try and convince her she's wrong will only polarise her feelings fr you .All you can do I fear is offer her your support and be there if she needs you .
In the meant time welcome back and have some fun with us lot of loonies..Hey its got to be about time we had another pub meet with the staffs thread " We''ll meet agin" I dont think I've seen you in there at all?
I suspect your ability to influence your friend is dwarfed by her resistance to change, she will have spent years learning to cope and survive in her world , no matter how hostile we outsiders perceive it . In contemplating a change in her life style she will face the unknown and in addition face the terrifying prospect of losing or damaging her matter what her feelings for you she will compare that to a life she was at least in control of as she saw it ...after all she made it trough before didn't she.
So its not you thats the reason for her choice its fear of try and convince her she's wrong will only polarise her feelings fr you .All you can do I fear is offer her your support and be there if she needs you .
In the meant time welcome back and have some fun with us lot of loonies..Hey its got to be about time we had another pub meet with the staffs thread " We''ll meet agin" I dont think I've seen you in there at all?
Quote by marmalaid
On a lighter note, I considered breaking the etiquette and posting a thread titled "Anyone fancy a fuck."
Well as I am quite close :twisted:
.......... but honey I'm so ill that it's not the best idea I've come up with LOL and I have to fetch the children in 45 minutes .....
Quote by Calista
On a lighter note, I considered breaking the etiquette and posting a thread titled "Anyone fancy a fuck."
Well as I am quite close :twisted:
.......... but honey I'm so ill that it's not the best idea I've come up with LOL and I have to fetch the children in 45 minutes .....Don't you start again Calista, I've called your bluff before!!! I do a good massage, so if that helps whilst you are ill...?
Quote by marmalaid
On a lighter note, I considered breaking the etiquette and posting a thread titled "Anyone fancy a fuck."
Well as I am quite close :twisted:
.......... but honey I'm so ill that it's not the best idea I've come up with LOL and I have to fetch the children in 45 minutes .....Don't you start again Calista, I've called your bluff before!!! I do a good massage, so if that helps whilst you are ill...?
I know I know .... :cry: we will have to arrange something when I'm better .... for definite :twisted:
Quote by Libra-LoveThanks for that, Libra, i'll have to read through that thread when I can devote to it the attention that it deserves, waiting is something that I had in mind, it's a decision I will take in good time.
Marmalaid
Follow this thread. http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/22524.html Once you've done that you'll find you're faced with two choices. You'll have a better understanding of her *choices* and be there to catch her when she has courage enough to leave him for good. Or you can understand her, hold dear the times you had together, then start to get over her.
Good luck.
It really caves my head in to think that she left him 3 years ago, took him back weeks later, kicked him out about 6 months ago and has taken him back again! Just doesn't make sense! However, I have seen her feelings of desperation when she thought she had to pay the mortgage and bring up the kids on shitty wages and beniits.
Sex God
Aww Marmalaid, I'm really happy to see you back, just wish it were under different circumstances. Here's a big hug for you :therethere: because that's all I can offer really. I know platitudes and empty words won't help.
Quote by Angel ChatThanks Angel, platitudes and empty words you can keep, emotions and feelings grateully accepted, many o the comments on this thread have brought a smile to my lips and a warm feeling in my heart. Thanks or the hugs.
Aww Marmalaid, I'm really happy to see you back, just wish it were under different circumstances. Here's a big hug for you :therethere: because that's all I can offer really. I know platitudes and empty words won't help.
Hey, I recognise that person in your avatar.... well some of her anyway!
Sex God
Quote by marmalaid
Hey, I recognise that person in your avatar.... well some of her anyway!
Sssssshhhhhhh!!!
ops: I still keep getting in trouble for that lol 
for me ;) 
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Not sure I could handle your pace
My pace?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Oh Marms, I see you haven't lost your humour!!!My average pace varies from a gentle stroll ............. to a sit down :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Sounds like an ideal way to spend an evening, or Sunday afternoon, where shall we go and shall I cook lunch? :rascal:
Quote by Dawn_MidsI'm not the type to cry over spilled milk, Dawn. As I said earlier, I've had a while to prepare myself for this, I was getting a lot of disconnection for maybe a week before the first of those 2 texts, so in all I've had about 2 weeks of on off rollercoaster, so, to be honest, it's something of a relief that the thread holding up the sword of Damacles has been cut.
Well it didn't take you long to get back into the swing of things did it
Sorry things never worked out for you Chris but we are all glad to have you back
Dawn :silly:
I'm planning on staying around this time, a bit of wild oat sowing (any ofers greatfully received) if I can still sow wild oats after my op a few years ago :lol: