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i need help. any councillers out there?
I agree with TnH if you are feeling that bad about your life then they will help you. Give them a call or send an email, they are experts at listening and hopefully it will help you come to terms with the things that are upsetting you.
If you find yourself getting depressed and upset a lot, I would also recommend visiting your GP who may prescribe you something to get you through this hard time.
If you find yourself getting depressed and upset a lot, I would also recommend visiting your GP who may prescribe you something to get you through this hard time.
Following on from MQ, I know you called them, but if you still need to talk you can call again, and again if you need to. I know I did a few years back, when my life seemed to have ended over a girl...
It does get better, no matter how bad it is now, hell I now married with 2 kids :shock: Tell me I would be here now 10 years ago and I would have laughed (well snivelled less, I was in a bad way then)
Don't do anything stupid, you will regret it when you feel better (I still have some scars), get yourself to the GP, talk to the Samaritans, and just take one day at a time till you feel better.
Would suggest you avoid anything swinging related until you well on your feet and feeling better. I expect what you need now is some space, give yourself some time to heal and bend the ears of the Samaritans whenever you need to.
It does get better, no matter how bad it is now, hell I now married with 2 kids :shock: Tell me I would be here now 10 years ago and I would have laughed (well snivelled less, I was in a bad way then)
Don't do anything stupid, you will regret it when you feel better (I still have some scars), get yourself to the GP, talk to the Samaritans, and just take one day at a time till you feel better.
Would suggest you avoid anything swinging related until you well on your feet and feeling better. I expect what you need now is some space, give yourself some time to heal and bend the ears of the Samaritans whenever you need to.
Quote by tallnhairy
Following on from MQ, I know you called them, but if you still need to talk you can call again, and again if you need to. I know I did a few years back, when my life seemed to have ended over a girl...
It does get better, no matter how bad it is now, hell I now married with 2 kids :shock: Tell me I would be here now 10 years ago and I would have laughed (well snivelled less, I was in a bad way then)
Don't do anything stupid, you will regret it when you feel better (I still have some scars), get yourself to the GP, talk to the Samaritans, and just take one day at a time till you feel better.
Would suggest you avoid anything swinging related until you well on your feet and feeling better. I expect what you need now is some space, give yourself some time to heal and bend the ears of the Samaritans whenever you need to.
That is seriously good are also some really good websites to sound off care.
thanks everone for the pms and replies on here. all good advice i know. just for the record ive done samaritans several times, 2 doctors, antidepressants, another g/f, throwing myself into work and loads of other things besides. I guess at my time of life recovery takes a bit longer if at all. I do have slightly better days but not often
thanks again everone. there are some good folk on here.
thanks again everone. there are some good folk on here.
Stick with it racer, I know it's damn tough at the moment but it will get better in time I promise. Give yourself lots of time and try not to think of everything you do as being a step to blocking out your past. I always believe that fate has reasons for putting you where you are in life and that there is something better that will come along eventually if you are patient. You can and will get through this, I know from experience I promise you in time things will feel better.
take up boxing, now stop laughing this is seriously good therapy.
I am having major problems with my neighbours being very noisy, and i am not renowned for my ability to control my temper when i get very wound up. So i started boxing in order to vent my frustrations, you get a fantastic buzz out of it, feel much better after and dont get in trouble with the police.
Failing that try running or weight training, it gives u a massive buzz plus can help you to look better and feel more confident.
Just a suggestion hope you sort yourself out soon mate
I am having major problems with my neighbours being very noisy, and i am not renowned for my ability to control my temper when i get very wound up. So i started boxing in order to vent my frustrations, you get a fantastic buzz out of it, feel much better after and dont get in trouble with the police.
Failing that try running or weight training, it gives u a massive buzz plus can help you to look better and feel more confident.
Just a suggestion hope you sort yourself out soon mate
Quote by rudolf_uk
take up boxing, now stop laughing this is seriously good therapy.
Actually for an instant temporary fix, that's a really good idea!
Take up something that gets you out the house, and also something you can vent all your negative energy for a couple of hours - sounds ridiculous, but it's an escape for a while. Take your problems somewhere and bash/run/lift/swim them out.
Negative feelings are extremely powerful, as you probably are realising right now Racer - so pour em out somewhere in a safe, healthy environment, and take notice of how much strength you are pouring in to venting those feelings, you will probably be quite surprised at how much strength it gives you. Gotta be better than holding them in, sitting in a black fog that seems to just get thicker and thicker (been there).
A temporary fix, but it does have an amazing 'feel good' thing about it.
Give it a try! The least it will do is nothing and you don't go again .... but you could find a great release for yourself a couple or few times a week
:D
Sex God
Quote by racer3
just for the record ive done samaritans several times, 2 doctors, antidepressants, another g/f, throwing myself into work and loads of other things besides. I guess at my time of life recovery takes a bit longer if at all. I do have slightly better days but not often.
You asked about counselling in your title, have neither of the doctors referred you to a counsellor? You also mention antidepressants, they will suppress symptoms while you try various ways to sort yourself out, but not cure you in themselves. I would recommend counselling, and also it would be well worth trying to find out whether you have a self-help group in our area - there are many now, some run by local health authorities, some run as charities by people with anxiety (etc) problems themselves. You could always phone NHS Direct any time round the clock for a chat, and for information about local groups of that type - that's what I did a couple of years ago, and I got a lot of help. Joining a group of people with similar problems and sharing experiences with them is something that can really help, you will always find that there are people even worse off than yourself, and maybe you will be able to help them a bit as well as receiving help, that could well help to make you feel more positive about things. As you say, it could be a long process - there are no instant fixes.
Hmmm, not sure about boxing, I wouldn't try it - my brain cells are diminishing rapidly in number already, without any would-be Mike Tysons to speed that process along! But joining in some activity will also help.
Good luck anyway, let us know how things go.
Mike.
Quote by MikeNorth
Hmmm, not sure about boxing, I wouldn't try it - my brain cells are diminishing rapidly in number already, without any would-be Mike Tysons to speed that process along! But joining in some activity will also help.
I think maybe they meant just training, pounding hell out of a punchbag can be very cathartic and using up that excess emotion that dogs you when you are feeling bad.
I have just been through similar - and thought things would never be good again.
But, as everyone else is saying, things get better - time is the greatest healer!
I have just managed to stop my anti-depressants (with doctors full support)
And despite the innevitable "blue moments" - things are coming good again, learning how to laugh and smile a LOT more than before I even broke up!
Now on lookout for some good fun over Christmas.
Try to take the positives from other peoples experiences, and realise things WILL get better - taking something up to distract your mind is an excellent idea (I picked up a guitar, and believe me, it is still helping - plus I am learning something new too!)
John
But, as everyone else is saying, things get better - time is the greatest healer!
I have just managed to stop my anti-depressants (with doctors full support)
And despite the innevitable "blue moments" - things are coming good again, learning how to laugh and smile a LOT more than before I even broke up!
Now on lookout for some good fun over Christmas.
Try to take the positives from other peoples experiences, and realise things WILL get better - taking something up to distract your mind is an excellent idea (I picked up a guitar, and believe me, it is still helping - plus I am learning something new too!)
John
I was going to post a reply to this earlier but didnt really think i had any valuable advice...But thinking about how I deal with feeling low...especially when it is about a woman...I try to concentrate on the things that make me happy...after a few days it seems to take over the negative things...
I guess it is all about perspective...and getting the right one..
You know...
Watching Forresst Gump (Always makes me feel better about myself)
Trying to beat my Personal Best on eating a box of jaffa cakes (1 min 51 secs) with cup of tea to assist..but my goodness..my jaw ached after that.
Following my dog around on all fours...like a dog..(confuses the hell out of him..and is really childish when you get caught..and no i dont pee in the garden like him...but going down the stairs is a bit tricky...makes you wonder how they do it so fast)
Chav spotting...
Buying sweets you havent eaten for years...like sherbert dip..(if that term has any sexual undertones I am not interested at the moment)
brewing a massive fart and truely enjoying letting it rip...(you know you all love it so dont pretend you dont!!!)
I know these are all trivial things and some would say not relevant in this situation but they do make me smile...and that is half the battle... perhaps this is how we can help you on this site...compile a list of challenges and tasks for you to do over the next few weeks ...all with the objective of making you smile and help realise there is a lot of 'World' out there to enjoy,
Anyway...hope this ..or some of the better advice helps
I know you have said you have tried burying yourself in work and other things but were they particularly positive things?
I guess it is all about perspective...and getting the right one..
You know...
Watching Forresst Gump (Always makes me feel better about myself)
Trying to beat my Personal Best on eating a box of jaffa cakes (1 min 51 secs) with cup of tea to assist..but my goodness..my jaw ached after that.
Following my dog around on all fours...like a dog..(confuses the hell out of him..and is really childish when you get caught..and no i dont pee in the garden like him...but going down the stairs is a bit tricky...makes you wonder how they do it so fast)
Chav spotting...
Buying sweets you havent eaten for years...like sherbert dip..(if that term has any sexual undertones I am not interested at the moment)
brewing a massive fart and truely enjoying letting it rip...(you know you all love it so dont pretend you dont!!!)
I know these are all trivial things and some would say not relevant in this situation but they do make me smile...and that is half the battle... perhaps this is how we can help you on this site...compile a list of challenges and tasks for you to do over the next few weeks ...all with the objective of making you smile and help realise there is a lot of 'World' out there to enjoy,
Anyway...hope this ..or some of the better advice helps
I know you have said you have tried burying yourself in work and other things but were they particularly positive things?
Quote by racer3
My life is shit, my lover has finished with me, i dont know why, i still love her and nothing i do seems to lessen the pain. and i have tried EVERTHING i know. Anybody got any advice on how to deal with this please. full story to anyone that can help
Jesus, be a man, deal with it.
Shit happens and life aint all plain sailing - but its during these low times that you learn about yourself and you grow stronger.
Going to the Doctor to get pills certainly isnt something that I would do.
In my opinion it will mean that you miss out on the opportunity to go through that 'growth period' and will mean that the next time you have an low period in your life (and it would be foolish to assume that there wont be one!) that you wont have the inner resource to deal with the issue and you will be in a similar place to you are now.
Its tough & it hurts but it will get better - it always does.
Dxxx
Sex God
speak to GOD helps me
Quote by surreycouple2003
Jesus, be a man, deal with it.
Shit happens and life aint all plain sailing - but its during these low times that you learn about yourself and you grow stronger.
Dxxx
Sure you did not mean to come over as an uncaring Dick head here Surreycouple!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all need support every now and again and saying be a man and deal with it is bollox.
Bloody well cry, moan as much as you want to and then get on ................yes of course and that I am sure is what you want right this minute if you had the choice! Sharing with others is part of the process of healing. Happy to go into pm if you want some advice - I did come out the other side
Corriexx
Quote by corriefem
Jesus, be a man, deal with it.
Shit happens and life aint all plain sailing - but its during these low times that you learn about yourself and you grow stronger.
Dxxx
Sure you did not mean to come over as an uncaring Dick head here Surreycouple!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all need support every now and again and saying be a man and deal with it is bollox.
Bloody well cry, moan as much as you want to and then get on ................yes of course and that I am sure is what you want right this minute if you had the choice! Sharing with others is part of the process of healing. Happy to go into pm if you want some advice - I did come out the other side
Corriexx
Here here! - And although medication should never be the first course of action, it is extremely effective when the right one is used, and in conjunction with cognative therapy. - Voice of experience and lots of investigating.
There are obvoiusly lots of caring people on here - so dont be affraid to ask for help.
Feel free to PM me also.
If someone actually ASKS for help, then they most definately need it.
If someone needs help and doesn't ask, then things can lead on to darastic actions carried out while not stable.
What may seem like a "nothing" situation, or just a case of "it'll be right" to you - can affect different people in different ways.
Telling someone to "pull themself together" when depressed is insulting - dont you think they would if they could??
If someone needs help and doesn't ask, then things can lead on to darastic actions carried out while not stable.
What may seem like a "nothing" situation, or just a case of "it'll be right" to you - can affect different people in different ways.
Telling someone to "pull themself together" when depressed is insulting - dont you think they would if they could??
I'd wager that no one in this thread is able to judge whether th OP needs meds, should just be a man and get over it, or what. That's down to a doctor to make that judgement. There are some responses in this thread which plainly demonstrate a total ignorance of the condition of depression, which is itself quite saddening. Fortunately, depression is becoming more understood and is becoming less of a now, which means more people will understand it.
If your response is "just get over it" then, to be frank, you're better off saying nothing at all.
If your response is "just get over it" then, to be frank, you're better off saying nothing at all.
Sex God
you've probably heard this before but time is a great healer mate, knowing lots ofpeople care and understand too will help, look to your future, mine was bleak and then out of the blue came something that changed all that, it wll happen to you too, your hurt and you are unhappy, the feelings you are showing are those of a sensitive nice guy, girls love nice guys just get out there and show the world what you are made of, no matter how important this girl was to you there are a million others waiting in the wings for someone that is sensitive and caring.
Good luck to you and feel free to post on here but go get professionall help too, councilors do help and do a great job for the most part, see your doc again and tell him, if he/she is no use see another doc, take a moment to start a fresh, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of yor life, go for it fella
staggy
Good luck to you and feel free to post on here but go get professionall help too, councilors do help and do a great job for the most part, see your doc again and tell him, if he/she is no use see another doc, take a moment to start a fresh, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of yor life, go for it fella
staggy
I am amazed at the number or replies and pm s I have recieved. You really are a good lot of people. There is probably not a bad bit of advice on here. However, believe me I have tried them all. Yes of course I have had hurtfull separations before (in my youth) As have most of you. You would think by the age of 50 I would be able to deal with this but the truth is seven months after the seperation I hurt even more and miss her every second. I suppose the truth is I am looking for a magic way to get her back. Thank you all again, your words are of comfort to me and i know there is no easy fix.
