I need help with my wife

16 Oct 2004

both me and my wife are 34 years old and since we have been married the spice in our love life is getting duller as each year passes . I have been dogging for the last 2 years on this site and have meet some great people but i would love to introduce my other half to the world of living life to the full ( swinging ) i have tryed lots of sutal things and hints but she doesn't want to know !! i find it hard to except that she doesn't fancy other men or even women but she seems to not want to admit it .
Just lately went something is on TV with sex in it with F & M she always changes channels but when it's two women she seems to leave it on for a much longer period of time before turning over .
Please can anyone offer advise or surgestions , she is 34 and has a great figure with 34G breasts ... we want to live life to the full not get old before our time !!
Justin
add number 110035

16 Oct 2004

sounds like you want to live life that way, but she dont, you should respect her wishes, if she wants to join in with others im sure she will, but if not, you should not try pressurise her,

16 Oct 2004

How about sitting her down and telling her all of that,exactly how you feel and ask her exactly how she would feel about than using subtle hints,which she may be reading wrong anyway.
Honesty is always best in a marriage.

16 Oct 2004

Interesting 'problem'- Id be inclined not to read too much into your wifes viewing habits- and advise against too much pressure- talking about your lovelife is the #1 priority tho, despite my interest in swinging I gave up the 'hard sell' about 12 months ago- we had several 'life changing' experiences over the last few months, which 1-bought us closer together, and 2- made Lucy stop and think- either that 'lifes too short' or maybe that we are, as a couple, largely indestructable. We watched the ch4 series on swapping, and this led to discussion, and then she asked me if we could try it-- we're still very much just taking our first tentative steps, but we're enjoying it, and will continue as long as we're both happy.
So- I'd say-- dont pressure her, do talk, and be sure your relationship is 100% first- I think swinging will makes cracks bigger, not repair them.

16 Oct 2004

If your wifedoesn't want to know - surely she doesn't want to know. One can't even expect to 'persuade' people to take up any lifestyle which is discretionary. They've got to want to do it. Difficult to accept but that's it. It's only if she finds and admits that it turns her on that anything would happen and there is very little you can do about it. If you try too hard it will be counterproductive.
Sorry, probably not the answer you want but I'm pretty sure it's the case. I wish you both luck in matching your aspirations.

16 Oct 2004

Can't really add to what's already been said.
You can't persuade someone that they should be turned on by certain things. I think you're deluding yourself that she takes longer to switch the telly over with some scanarios than others.
You could broach certain subjects with her, see how she reacts .... but if you do and she seems to react positively or with some interest, whatever you do, don't use that as a sign to then shag her brains out hump

could well put her off talking about anything like that again. Just try having a more matter of fact conversation.
Dunno if it's any help, dunno

but that's how I would want to be treated with that kind of conversation.