A social on "lets meet up" that is only open to "verified" people ......... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
ideas for verifying members as genuine
Quote by foxylady2209
One of the mainstays of swinging is discretion. If two (or more) people meet the default situation is that NO-ONE else knows about it. If one side chooses to publicise the fact, without the other's agreement they are flamed - and quite rightly. And would probably struggle to get another meet.
So how does the verification work while maintaining discretion?
"I (insert name) confirm that X (do NOT insert name) is a genuine swinger and I know because we (may or may not) have met."
I haven't been on sites that use verification - and I certainly would NEVER use a site that uses verification to control my access to the facilities.
We have plenty of ways to confirm someone is what they claim to be without a formal verification process. And if people chose not to use those methods that's their choice. But that's fine since we are all grown-ups - we are allowed choice.
I totally agree and was my point also :thumbup:
Keep hearing the word discrete pop up,
any verification system is only indiscrete if you make it that way.
and it will only change the site if you let it, people will still attend there local socials, use there usual chat room and have there same circle of friends while making more, and they will still post in the forums and have a good old banter.
If it is coming, and that’s a big if, we’d all be better off putting ideas across to make it less indiscrete and different to what other sites use, rather than write the hole idea off altogether because of another sites system.
Having icons or text on your profile, saying for example “verified couple” “verified pictures” is not being indiscrete? As for a feedback type system, never really liked this idea but if there was one in place then options to display any comments would be a must and only being able to see the comments without seeing who actually posted them. “anonymous” would be the way to go as far as discretions concerned.
Just gibbering now lol, but at the end of the day no system will change this place. Its only the people on it that can change it, this site is already full of people from all walks of life, each having different ways of doing things, and all with different preferences, so having another preference or another way of doing things won’t make a darn bit of difference. People will always use there own way to arrange meets regardless of what tools are there to help us all, we all have galleries, some people choose not to use them, same with profile, but the site still works for them and they get from the site what they want. It only becomes an issue if we make it one.
This is a great thread which we where happy to take part in earlier on by putting ideas across, however its now showing signs of turning into a them and us, which is not the case, the OP asked for ideas and people put them forward, if a verification system does come, it wont make any difference to how we use this site, and the ones that don’t meet without verification already use other sites so again it won’t make a difference.
any verification system is only indiscrete if you make it that way.
and it will only change the site if you let it, people will still attend there local socials, use there usual chat room and have there same circle of friends while making more, and they will still post in the forums and have a good old banter.
If it is coming, and that’s a big if, we’d all be better off putting ideas across to make it less indiscrete and different to what other sites use, rather than write the hole idea off altogether because of another sites system.
Having icons or text on your profile, saying for example “verified couple” “verified pictures” is not being indiscrete? As for a feedback type system, never really liked this idea but if there was one in place then options to display any comments would be a must and only being able to see the comments without seeing who actually posted them. “anonymous” would be the way to go as far as discretions concerned.
Just gibbering now lol, but at the end of the day no system will change this place. Its only the people on it that can change it, this site is already full of people from all walks of life, each having different ways of doing things, and all with different preferences, so having another preference or another way of doing things won’t make a darn bit of difference. People will always use there own way to arrange meets regardless of what tools are there to help us all, we all have galleries, some people choose not to use them, same with profile, but the site still works for them and they get from the site what they want. It only becomes an issue if we make it one.
This is a great thread which we where happy to take part in earlier on by putting ideas across, however its now showing signs of turning into a them and us, which is not the case, the OP asked for ideas and people put them forward, if a verification system does come, it wont make any difference to how we use this site, and the ones that don’t meet without verification already use other sites so again it won’t make a difference.
Warming the Bed
i think the only thing that should be on your profile is that someone else has meet you and verifyed that you are who your profile says you are
it should not say who you have met as this is personal and not for all to know but we do need a way to weed out the fakes
be good sometimes play naughty the rest
above all have fun its what its all about after all
it should not say who you have met as this is personal and not for all to know but we do need a way to weed out the fakes
be good sometimes play naughty the rest
above all have fun its what its all about after all
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
There seems to be an air of impending doom in the thread. People seem to be on the edge of making themselves social outcasts or something like that.
It can't be that bad surely?
I get the feeling that the verification system is more likely to make people social outcasts... especially if the "you don't have one then you can't attend" attitude appears.
What is a social with no newbies?
Does that mean you're all shagging the same people over and over? Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, I'm quite a fan but there is something nice about having new people around.
Life is all about taking chances. I'd much rather take my own chances than other peoples but each to their own and all that.
As has been said before... wouldn't the best way forward be to look at the best ways of working the verification cause it seems to be a sure thing rather than a maybe.
i still dont see how it weeds out the fakes??
a picture of a man does not prove its that man or that hes single or the height he says, age he says, etc.
i dont want to know whos shagged who
i feel my days of meeting new people are numbered, i wont join in a verification system, now this will result in not being approached by people, being excluded from chat rooms, socials etc.
i also hate reading whos shagged who so wil avoid those with those verifications.
if we have just admin verifying a picture for example, i feel it will be a slippeey slope to testimonials.
how do non verified and newbies get a chance?
xx fem xx
a picture of a man does not prove its that man or that hes single or the height he says, age he says, etc.
i dont want to know whos shagged who
i feel my days of meeting new people are numbered, i wont join in a verification system, now this will result in not being approached by people, being excluded from chat rooms, socials etc.
i also hate reading whos shagged who so wil avoid those with those verifications.
if we have just admin verifying a picture for example, i feel it will be a slippeey slope to testimonials.
how do non verified and newbies get a chance?
xx fem xx
I don't know if i think this would be a good idea or not, I agree that a verification system would be beneficial to people needing assurance that the person they are talking to isn't Hermon Munster's less attractive brother.
But I also don't like the idea of having an ebay style of feedback, can you imagine it:
"A+++++++ Swinger, highly recommended"!
But seriously i feel it should be more of a preference.
I'm happy to have a web-cam chat and a casual drink before hand
But I also don't like the idea of having an ebay style of feedback, can you imagine it:
"A+++++++ Swinger, highly recommended"!
But seriously i feel it should be more of a preference.
I'm happy to have a web-cam chat and a casual drink before hand
Quote by Curious-couple1
I don't know if i think this would be a good idea or not, I agree that a verification system would be beneficial to people needing assurance that the person they are talking to isn't Hermon Munster's less attractive brother.
But I also don't like the idea of having an ebay style of feedback, can you imagine it:
"A+++++++ Swinger, highly recommended"!
But seriously i feel it should be more of a preference.
I'm happy to have a web-cam chat and a casual drink before hand
Can you explain to me and anyone else, how you have come to that conclusion?
Nobody knows what kind of verification there will be, IF there is any at all.
The trouble is people are speculating on....well nothing really.
Some of the ideas people seem to have got into their heads, about what verification will do, is mind boggling.
Unless others have heard for definate what is going to happen? Seems like a few on here are " scaremongering ", when there is possibly no need at all.
Orgasminator
Quote by fem_4_taboo
i still dont see how it weeds out the fakes??
a picture of a man does not prove its that man or that hes single or the height he says, age he says, etc.
i dont want to know whos shagged who
i feel my days of meeting new people are numbered, i wont join in a verification system, now this will result in not being approached by people, being excluded from chat rooms, socials etc.
i also hate reading whos shagged who so wil avoid those with those verifications.
if we have just admin verifying a picture for example, i feel it will be a slippeey slope to testimonials.
how do non verified and newbies get a chance?
xx fem xx
Exactly and just becoause someone meets someone doesn't mean they are in fact single or a genuine couple... no single male in his right mind would turn up afetr saying he's single and say - oh by the way i'm not single or have i shown you a pic of my wife and kids :giggle:
Verification is just like a shopping list or jobs list or the knotches in someones bed posts, i cant think of something less discrete except pehaps taking out a front page add in sh magazine lol
The only verification that could perhaps work is the photo verification, but its only as accurate as the day it was verified, how long till a couple split up or singles become couples... how fast can someone put on/lose weight and so i feel this would be a pointless excersize.
if the site does force verification upon us, they best have the man (op/mod) power to go round verifying people as a verification system conducted by members on members is open to abuse and quite frankly a waste of verbal diahhorea!
Sex God
Quote by Deviants
Keep hearing the word discrete pop up,
any verification system is only indiscrete if you make it that way.
and it will only change the site if you let it, people will still attend there local socials, use there usual chat room and have there same circle of friends while making more, and they will still post in the forums and have a good old banter.
If it is coming, and that’s a big if, we’d all be better off putting ideas across to make it less indiscrete and different to what other sites use, rather than write the hole idea off altogether because of another sites system.
Having icons or text on your profile, saying for example “verified couple” “verified pictures” is not being indiscrete? (Snipped to save space)
I can't see how verification works if it is to be also discreet. If we are being verified as a 'good swinger' then the person vouching for us is admitting we have met - even if we want discretion. If I am to be verified - people must know who by, or else the verification is meaningless. I could verify myself.
Also
What are we being verified as?
Paid-up member? That's easy to check.
Clean? ????? Some kind of regular sniff test?
Actually what we say we are? Never seen a single-certificate, but I can give you my marriage cert even though I am divorced.
What about age - do we send our birth certificate in?
I suppose I could get my Mum to vouch for my age and marriage status :giggle:
Or are the Mods getting a new role? Can I have Ian check me please????? :giggle:
Quote by foxylady2209
Keep hearing the word discrete pop up,
any verification system is only indiscrete if you make it that way.
and it will only change the site if you let it, people will still attend there local socials, use there usual chat room and have there same circle of friends while making more, and they will still post in the forums and have a good old banter.
If it is coming, and that’s a big if, we’d all be better off putting ideas across to make it less indiscrete and different to what other sites use, rather than write the hole idea off altogether because of another sites system.
Having icons or text on your profile, saying for example “verified couple” “verified pictures” is not being indiscrete? (Snipped to save space)
I can't see how verification works if it is to be also discreet. If we are being verified as a 'good swinger' then the person vouching for us is admitting we have met - even if we want discretion. If I am to be verified - people must know who by, or else the verification is meaningless. I could verify myself.
Also
What are we being verified as?
Paid-up member? That's easy to check.
Clean? ????? Some kind of regular sniff test?
Actually what we say we are? Never seen a single-certificate, but I can give you my marriage cert even though I am divorced.
What about age - do we send our birth certificate in?
I suppose I could get my Mum to vouch for my age and marriage status :giggle:
Or are the Mods getting a new role? Can I have Ian check me please????? :giggle:
Why are you asking us?
How would we know what system would be put in place, if any? This thread is full of ideas, suggestions and assumptions and that’s all.
You are either for or against verification, if your against them then no answers given will change your mind? as for verification being meaningless, then why does people request cam to cam, fem to fem chats on phone etc, which already are all types of verification?
We'll take a step back from here as we're all assuming what verification is, even us.
Sex God
Quote by Deviants
Keep hearing the word discrete pop up,
any verification system is only indiscrete if you make it that way.
and it will only change the site if you let it, people will still attend there local socials, use there usual chat room and have there same circle of friends while making more, and they will still post in the forums and have a good old banter.
If it is coming, and that’s a big if, we’d all be better off putting ideas across to make it less indiscrete and different to what other sites use, rather than write the hole idea off altogether because of another sites system.
Having icons or text on your profile, saying for example “verified couple” “verified pictures” is not being indiscrete? (Snipped to save space)
I can't see how verification works if it is to be also discreet. If we are being verified as a 'good swinger' then the person vouching for us is admitting we have met - even if we want discretion. If I am to be verified - people must know who by, or else the verification is meaningless. I could verify myself.
Also
What are we being verified as?
Paid-up member? That's easy to check.
Clean? ????? Some kind of regular sniff test?
Actually what we say we are? Never seen a single-certificate, but I can give you my marriage cert even though I am divorced.
What about age - do we send our birth certificate in?
I suppose I could get my Mum to vouch for my age and marriage status :giggle:
Or are the Mods getting a new role? Can I have Ian check me please????? :giggle:
Why are you asking us?
How would we know what system would be put in place, if any? This thread is full of ideas, suggestions and assumptions and that’s all.
You are either for or against verification, if your against them then no answers given will change your mind? as for verification being meaningless, then why does people request cam to cam, fem to fem chats on phone etc, which already are all types of verification?
We'll take a step back from here as we're all assuming what verification is, even us.
I suppose that was my point, really. We don't know what the verification will be. But part of my point was also that I couldn't see how verifiable verification could work.
Orgasminator
Okay, rather than speculate, I shall cite an example:
I chatted to a female. We both went on cam, saw who we were, exchanged phone numbers, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet, arranged date and time, confirmed details. I travelled up to her. She didn't show up. Did not pick up her phone, nor reply her texts.
She contacted 10 hrs later "Something came up". I think she's a timewaster, she thinks am expecting too much.
I don't need to know who she;s met, as long as some reassurance this is not her "M.O" (ie, wannabe that likes the idea of meeting with but with no intention of following through".
ok, speculation:
Not photo verification, not membership level.
Some "hide our username" but "yes, person is NOT a timewaster" type symbol could have helped - for all I know, lady in my example could have done the same to over 100 guys, but no one will ever know.
I chatted to a female. We both went on cam, saw who we were, exchanged phone numbers, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet, arranged date and time, confirmed details. I travelled up to her. She didn't show up. Did not pick up her phone, nor reply her texts.
She contacted 10 hrs later "Something came up". I think she's a timewaster, she thinks am expecting too much.
I don't need to know who she;s met, as long as some reassurance this is not her "M.O" (ie, wannabe that likes the idea of meeting with but with no intention of following through".
ok, speculation:
Not photo verification, not membership level.
Some "hide our username" but "yes, person is NOT a timewaster" type symbol could have helped - for all I know, lady in my example could have done the same to over 100 guys, but no one will ever know.
Quote by Ahabs
Okay, rather than speculate, I shall cite an example:
I chatted to a female. We both went on cam, saw who we were, exchanged phone numbers, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet, arranged date and time, confirmed details. I travelled up to her. She didn't show up. Did not pick up her phone, nor reply her texts.
She contacted 10 hrs later "Something came up". I think she's a timewaster, she thinks am expecting too much.
I don't need to know who she;s met, as long as some reassurance this is not her "M.O" (ie, wannabe that likes the idea of meeting with but with no intention of following through".
ok, speculation:
Not photo verification, not membership level.
Some "hide our username" but "yes, person is NOT a timewaster" type symbol could have helped - for all I know, lady in my example could have done the same to over 100 guys, but no one will ever know.
So ............ she gets verified as a "real" person and you plan a meet but she gets cold feet doesn't show and doesn't answer the phone. Or she shows but doesnt like you when you meet up, so leaves after 10 minutes.
What good has verification done you?
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Ahabs
Okay, rather than speculate, I shall cite an example:
I chatted to a female. We both went on cam, saw who we were, exchanged phone numbers, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet, arranged date and time, confirmed details. I travelled up to her. She didn't show up. Did not pick up her phone, nor reply her texts.
She contacted 10 hrs later "Something came up". I think she's a timewaster, she thinks am expecting too much.
I don't need to know who she;s met, as long as some reassurance this is not her "M.O" (ie, wannabe that likes the idea of meeting with but with no intention of following through".
ok, speculation:
Not photo verification, not membership level.
Some "hide our username" but "yes, person is NOT a timewaster" type symbol could have helped - for all I know, lady in my example could have done the same to over 100 guys, but no one will ever know.
Her mum and dad were horribly murdered that afternoon so she had a good reason for not showing up. Lucky for you she sent a text 10 hrs later.
Real life sometimes crops up and doesn't make the people timewasters.
And if something like above did happen, do you really believe you are due an explanation? Anybody that we have played with and will play with in the future has no right to know anything about me other than what I tell them.
If something crops up then be grown ups and accept that life does not run smoothly. Clitches will crop up and family and friends will always come before a random fuck.
Dave_Notts
Orgasminator
Alas, but if I didn't turn up for a meet and gave some feeble excuse 10 hrs later, I trust it would be another case of "Another time wasting single male who can't be trusted on reliability".
I'll keep my mouth shut next time.
I'll keep my mouth shut next time.
Sex God
Alas, but if I didn't turn up for a meet and gave some feeble excuse 10 hrs later, I trust it would be another case of "Another time wasting single male who can't be trusted on reliability".
I'll keep my mouth shut next time.
I must admit Ahabs i'd be with you on thinking to myself "bloody person lead me on, timewasting git" Whether or not the excuse was genuine or not thats what i'd think.
The verification issue i personally believe won't work very well and just adds clutter to the site. And as the site was unique in the way it approached the swinging scene in not be becoming a "run of the mill" adult/sex site I feel it is losing that appeal. It is leaving its rather popular niche market and joining the multitude of other sites in the fug of the interwed.
Who I wonder in SH is making these decisions? Should lessons not be learned from SH magazine and Heaven Dating? SH has a unique selling point in that it is unique in its field and works in an easy to approach/use way together with the fact that it isn't just another pseudo facebook style adult site.
Is it coincidence do you think that the word verification has the same anount of letters as masturbation? And they noth mean wank? Odd dontcha think
I'll keep my mouth shut next time.
I must admit Ahabs i'd be with you on thinking to myself "bloody person lead me on, timewasting git" Whether or not the excuse was genuine or not thats what i'd think.
The verification issue i personally believe won't work very well and just adds clutter to the site. And as the site was unique in the way it approached the swinging scene in not be becoming a "run of the mill" adult/sex site I feel it is losing that appeal. It is leaving its rather popular niche market and joining the multitude of other sites in the fug of the interwed.
Who I wonder in SH is making these decisions? Should lessons not be learned from SH magazine and Heaven Dating? SH has a unique selling point in that it is unique in its field and works in an easy to approach/use way together with the fact that it isn't just another pseudo facebook style adult site.
Is it coincidence do you think that the word verification has the same anount of letters as masturbation? And they noth mean wank? Odd dontcha think
Quote by Ahabs
Alas, but if I didn't turn up for a meet and gave some feeble excuse 10 hrs later, I trust it would be another case of "Another time wasting single male who can't be trusted on reliability".
I'll keep my mouth shut next time.
But would verification have made a difference and would you have felt any different? You would have still been pissed off at her, so would I. But that is being human.
In the cold light of day we can think of all the scenarios and see if verification would have made you feel any different. This is the beauty of the forum.
You can keep your mouth shut if you want, but different opinions is what makes the forum. Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses here............may not agree with it but it is still valid
Dave_Notts
Sex God
Quote by Ahabs
Okay, rather than speculate, I shall cite an example:
I chatted to a female. We both went on cam, saw who we were, exchanged phone numbers, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet, arranged date and time, confirmed details. I travelled up to her. She didn't show up. Did not pick up her phone, nor reply her texts.
She contacted 10 hrs later "Something came up". I think she's a timewaster, she thinks am expecting too much.
I don't need to know who she;s met, as long as some reassurance this is not her "M.O" (ie, wannabe that likes the idea of meeting with but with no intention of following through".
ok, speculation:
Not photo verification, not membership level.
Some "hide our username" but "yes, person is NOT a timewaster" type symbol could have helped - for all I know, lady in my example could have done the same to over 100 guys, but no one will ever know.
okay ahabs... I'll then put this to you, in regards to your example
1) Photo varification comes in, so she proves that she is who she is.... how has that helped you in this senario? the answer is that it hasn't...
2) varification with feedback comes in....lets say that she has met 5, but like you said messed around 100.....
a) if people have control of what is shown.... whats the likelyhood of the no shows appearing on the profile.... slim to none, you'd only see the positive meets....
b) without those 100 no shows on the screen, how are you suppose to make a proper judgement ..... you can't
c) who's checking the varifiers to check that they are genuine... unless you are going to do a family tree type thing to work out who's "had" who....
wonderful we can play "6 degrees of kevin bacon" and link everyone on the swinging site in 6 shags or less.... yes that bit was a bit flippant but it brings me to:
d) that discretion word again.... I don't want to world knowing who I have met, I don't really want to know who's met who either
you tell me how it helps you in these cases... and you'll win me as a convert.... until then, I don't see how it has helped.... sorry
I think there is a contradiction in the thread about discretion.
On the one hand people are saying 'I don't want or need to know what other people have been doing'. But on the other hand they actually do want to know who's had who, and they really should do, because its kind of important to keep track of these things in as much as it is possible. Particularly if they are in; or close to, you circle of swingers. It would be a bit dumb to be deliberately ignorant about other people's activities, when the implications are important to yourself.
People do find these things out in the normal social way. eg seeing it happen or asking the questions. Which is fair enough.
I think what people may not be comfortable with; is an auditable trail of their activities, and a ready made list of witnesses. So 'secrecy' has the upper hand on discretion in that scenario.
On the one hand people are saying 'I don't want or need to know what other people have been doing'. But on the other hand they actually do want to know who's had who, and they really should do, because its kind of important to keep track of these things in as much as it is possible. Particularly if they are in; or close to, you circle of swingers. It would be a bit dumb to be deliberately ignorant about other people's activities, when the implications are important to yourself.
People do find these things out in the normal social way. eg seeing it happen or asking the questions. Which is fair enough.
I think what people may not be comfortable with; is an auditable trail of their activities, and a ready made list of witnesses. So 'secrecy' has the upper hand on discretion in that scenario.
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
I think there is a contradiction in the thread about discretion.
On the one hand people are saying 'I don't want or need to know what other people have been doing'. But on the other hand they actually do want to know who's had who, because its kind of important to keep track of these things in as much as it is possible. Particularly if they are in; or close to, you circle of swingers. It would be a bit dumb to be deliberately ignorant about other people's activities, when the implications are important to yourself.
I think what people may not be comfortable with; is an auditable trail of their activities, and a ready made list of witnesses. So 'secrecy' has the upper hand on discretion in that scenario.
Why?
Erm... I think maybe I'm being a bit thick here... but why is it important to keep track of who's shagging who? Why would it be dumb to be ignorant of it? Why would you care who's shagging who?
Why are the implications important? I really don't understand this... and it's not the first time I've come across it. To me it's just a bit weird to care who's fucking who. :?There has always been and I'm sure there always will be gossip. It's human nature. I don't know that it's necessary though. It's supposed to be NSA. It's not though and it certainly never will be with a verification system of the feedback kind in place.
Sex God
Quote by Dirtygirlie
I think there is a contradiction in the thread about discretion.
On the one hand people are saying 'I don't want or need to know what other people have been doing'. But on the other hand they actually do want to know who's had who, because its kind of important to keep track of these things in as much as it is possible. Particularly if they are in; or close to, you circle of swingers. It would be a bit dumb to be deliberately ignorant about other people's activities, when the implications are important to yourself.
I think what people may not be comfortable with; is an auditable trail of their activities, and a ready made list of witnesses. So 'secrecy' has the upper hand on discretion in that scenario.
Why?
Erm... I think maybe I'm being a bit thick here... but why is it important to keep track of who's shagging who? Why would it be dumb to be ignorant of it? Why would you care who's shagging who?
Why are the implications important? I really don't understand this... and it's not the first time I've come across it. To me it's just a bit weird to care who's fucking who. :?I was kinda confused about that as well :dunno:
Maybe we should be compiling little family trees so we can trace everyones exploits before we agree to meeting them :dunno:
Sex God
Quote by Steve
I think there is a contradiction in the thread about discretion.
On the one hand people are saying 'I don't want or need to know what other people have been doing'. But on the other hand they actually do want to know who's had who, because its kind of important to keep track of these things in as much as it is possible. Particularly if they are in; or close to, you circle of swingers. It would be a bit dumb to be deliberately ignorant about other people's activities, when the implications are important to yourself.
I think what people may not be comfortable with; is an auditable trail of their activities, and a ready made list of witnesses. So 'secrecy' has the upper hand on discretion in that scenario.
Why?
Erm... I think maybe I'm being a bit thick here... but why is it important to keep track of who's shagging who? Why would it be dumb to be ignorant of it? Why would you care who's shagging who?
Why are the implications important? I really don't understand this... and it's not the first time I've come across it. To me it's just a bit weird to care who's fucking who. :?I was kinda confused about that as well :dunno:
Maybe we should be compiling little family trees so we can trace everyones exploits before we agree to meeting them :dunno:
They did that on The L Word... right... I think we need a white board and some marker pens! :mrgreen:
