Does this mean I've been wasting my time whittling notches in the bed post?
A lot of very narrow mindedness going on in this thread.
"I wont be using a system I have not seen yet and know nothing about :stampfootemoticon:
So much for open minded swingers.
There are circumstances where I would cancel this account if it was not right, but I'll wait and see what it brings. I note also most of the no supporters are established users who have been going to munchs and events for years and have tons of already built up contacts. That was us once too but life changes and we certainly dont have time to waste with people who dont turn up dont look like their photo etc. Those problems can never be eradicated but if they can be improved so the risk is significantly reduced then so much the better.
This could turn the site into a huge commercial quick shag site? It already is, its only the forum thats not.
Can't see what difference it makes to some people if others decide to leave because of a verification system anyway.
I don't see how any verification system will improve things to be honest. They "prove" nothing whatsoever.
I've heard that word used a lot on this thread. It worries me to think that people assume that because Mr X of Derby says you are a "tonking shag" that you are suddenly compatible with everybody else seeking a quick fuck. Is this how Swinging is to carry on? "Shag them because they said they are good?" It frightens the living wonkers off me. Why entrust your spouse, or yourself, to the subjective opinions of others?
I've also heard it said that established members have loads of contacts and seem to be the most opposed because of that. I'm not sure that is the case to be honest. It seems all too easy to suggest that those with post counts of 5000 or more can barely drag themselves away from the bedroom long enough for a post-coital rant about verification, before being dragged back by fuck buddy number 38 for the afternoon.
I think the long standing members are against verification because when they joined, they were promised it wasn't part of the site's central tenet about swinging. That's all. I think they feel slightly betrayed of the direction the site has taken compared to the original intentions it was set up under. Yep, things have changed for the site but perhaps this is an issue that is as important for those who don't want it, as it is for those that do? I don't think it is just a case of Luddite philosophy opposing progress, just that it is not what they want for whatever reasons they have.
I also don't believe that the adverts, profiles or even verification are 1/100th as useful as a form of verification as getting your backside to a meet somewhere, to meet likeminded people. My concern is the verification system will sate a market for "fuck me now! Immediately!" I am not sure how many people think that's a good thing. I personally don't. But then again I'm not desperate to shag anybody to feel it justifies my subscription. This for me is fun and enjoyment foremost and from that comes the rest of it, including the sexual aspects. I think a lot of people can't be arsed making the effort to properly get to know folk. They see sex as their right given they are on here and want to fuck and they see verification as an ideal way of weeding out those "timewasters" (probably like me and Mrs R) who won't fuck them within a certain time limit and at the least expense and inconvenience to them.
That's not saying everyone for verification thinks that way, of course not. However that is sometimes how it appears to me. It all seems geared towards sex on tap. That's never what it has been about for me. I have that at home anyway.
I'm not that needy for sex to require verification. I'm happy to wait until the time and person is right for us. Not everybody is I know, but then again when the sites direction in recent times has been geared towards the need to sate an immediate desire, then it is easy to see why weeding out the timewasters has become a priority.
If safety is the priority as I have seen mentioned then it's simple really. Stop fucking each other. That's much, much safer than anything else. I think a lot of people are doing this anyway as they've become disillusioned with things.
Verification isn't the death knell of swinging or this site by any means, but it isn't the saviour of it either and it will bring with it its own baggage and problems. Other than couples/singles providing lengthy intimate details of every meet they have, complete with supplied photographs, video and signed copies of the order of fornication as evidence, I fail to see how any verification system cannot be open to some degree of misuse. Though I have no doubt that admin & co have worked hard to make Shrep as resilient against this as possible and this is not a sleight on their efforts in any shape or form.
There is also the very good point that someone coming across as being desperate to meet up and wanting sex right here, right now, can be equally as off putting as someone who isn't sure of meeting and may or may not want to meet up. Equally off putting to some, maybe a swinger who is very active and has a list of verifications as long as your arm. I find that more off putting than someone who says that they are not sure and lack experience. But then again, I am weird.
I don't know the proportion of singles/couples males/females on here. I can make an educated guess. However I do think that a significant proportion of those who do swing, WILL make an effort to go to meets and to me that is the best way of finding people in a no pressure, face to face environment when you have so much more to go on than what they say (or don't say) in their profile, a list of their conquests with match reports and ratings out of ten, the posts they make on the forum or pm, how they are in chat and what they look like in their photos/videos. If you want verification, go to the meets. If you can't be arsed going to meets, then by all means use Shrep, but to me that is much, much inferior way of finding the person(s) whom are right for you.
I also bristle at being labelled 'a timewaster'. We've not met anybody for a very long time for personal reasons. We've not stopped swinging completely, we've just not swung recently. However any Shrep system would no doubt cast us in the eyes of some as potential timewasters, as nobody who has pm'd us in the past 12 months or so, has shagged us or even come close (does a Chinese meal count?). Am I, therefore, a timewaster? If so, why? Who defined that true swinging is something you have to do on a daily, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, half-yearly basis? Could it not be that all these people who are so keen to weed out the timewasters, are equally just a bit impatient? If we are having a category for "timewasters" can we also have one for "will fuck pretty much anything provided it's available within the next 48 hours and genuine"? No, thought not.
I really hope Shrep fulfils the need for many who seem to need it. It is of no interest to me and has no value for me. It won't be used, I won't use it, but I have no doubt I will be labelled by some because of it. I think that's unfair and I think that's why when my current contract runs out, I'll be asking for a Bosman to join Bonkers United.
Also, the rather repugnant notion that if you don't buy into the verification system, then you won't be missed here is quite laughable really. In addition to being sneeringly inaccurate as I'd venture that a great many of the people, certainly here in the forum, who don't want the system are the very "genuine" swingers it aims to attract.
This is obviously a contentious subject and thread, with valid arguments in both camps.
It appears that a lot of ‘assumptions’ are being made with little or no knowledge of what is / or isn’t in SHREP and how it will actually work.
From our point of view, SHREP will be just another tool in the decision making process of who we will / will not meet – be they single males, single females or couples. At the end of the day it is our decision.
As we do meet, host parties and socials on SH, we’re quite happy to be ‘verified’ as ‘genuine’ swingers. We try to politely decline offers from those who don’t meet our criteria, if we arrange to go somewhere (SH related or plain vanilla) we endeavour to honour that commitment and if circumstances conspire against us reaching our destination we always phone and apologise – this is purely good social skills.
What we hope SHREP will provide, is an additional level of ‘confidence’ that the people/person we are talking to is a genuine swinger and not just joined the site for a ‘bit-of-a-kick’. Our time is precious and we take as much care as we can when arranging meets to make these successful both for us and others. It is hugely annoying to have spent weeks getting to know someone, arrange a meet in a hectic family calendar, spend ages getting ready only to find that they had no intention of ever arriving. It has not only wasted our night but someone more genuine has lost-out on a meet.
What really gets our ‘goat’ as arrangers of SH socials are the huge amount of people who put their names down for the event then fail to show for one reason or another!!
At the last social we had expressions of interest from 160 members, only to find 22 actually turned up, all bar 4 were regular acquaintances from the chatrooms….
What we want, is a system that will allow the SH community to validate members old and new who contribute to the chatrooms, forums and are genuine in their swinging requirements and show respect to fellow members regardless of personal preferences.
We’re not interested in it being a slag-off someone system as that is very counter-productive.
The site provides a lot of this information already, I can see the number of posts in the forum someone has made, how long they’ve been a member, how close they are to us, what their preferences are, photo’s, events invited/attended etc, etc,. It would just be nice to have all this information in one place rather than spread all over the place. A few additional ‘organiser tools’ – like attended / did not show / sent apologies etc and hours logged in the chatroom would give a very clear indication of who contributes and who does not!
The more you contribute to the SH community, the better your rating……
Ramble over – must go find a victim for a meet in May. :doh:
OOOOOh 1 more post & we reach the magic ton!!!
I have belonged to a couple of other sites that have verification. I kinda like it. Not so I can get verified as I can get a shag just by swinging as a single bi fem (the holy grail don't you know) I like it because it gives me a chance to verify the real holy grail :- A single man who can keep it up with a condom and who doesn't want to have my kids and move in with me.
Verification here won't affect me a jot. I won't allow others to verify me good or bad. I won't be verifying others (to verify requires sex and I have that covered) Verification will have a massive impact on single men who, because of their vast numbers, are the real money spinners on this site. It will make the site more meaningful for them. It will raise the profile of those people who really need the support. I can't really see anything wrong in that.
There will still be people who have nothing to do with the verification system and that is their want. I have had more sex on this site without verification as I have no need of it to make my own mind up.
I really don't get what all the fuss is about.
If you like it, use it.
If you don't like it, don't use it.
A case in point....... I definitely fancied Mr FB as soon as I realised that he was engaged to Ms FB. The only verification he needed was the knowledge that he was making her happy. :twisted: :twisted:
It's ok anyway, I lied 
Doesn't remove my main worry though. 
