Idiot Skittles

22 Sep 2005

Sort of quick hijack
Just thinking about human skittles is actually a game that I play with a few mates (after loads of drink)
I have this great toy - a bloody huge catapult that throws water balloons.
Some of the guys stand in a skittle formation while one shoots them with the catapult. 3 goes each.
Obvioulsy, as guys, rules and regulations have been devolped this year so hopefully we can introduce it at the olympics in London.
Unfortunatly we haven't convinced and ladies to participate yet, as rule number 1 states that all woman players must be dressed in a suitable skimpy t-shirt
end of sort of quick hijack
:bolt:

22 Sep 2005

Jimmy Carr - About as funny as toothache, looks a smug twat and has a stupid hairstyle.
Jordan - Snide, publicity seeking media whore. If it wasn't for her tits, she would have vanished from the pages of Hello, OK and the tabloids years ago..
Ant & Dec (they can stand on each others shoulders) - They may have re-invented Saturday night TV, but the ubiquitous two just get right up my nose..

22 Sep 2005

'Nasty Nick' Bateman (BB1).............. you aren't a celeb, accept it banghead

'Tiger Tim' Henman.......... new balls please :fuckinghell:
Justin Timberlake.......... unnaturally high pitched... see Tim Henman comment above....and lose the bumfluff beard junior :thumbup:

22 Sep 2005

Quote by meat2pleaseu
Sorry Darkfine, im revoking your Charlotte Church nomination due to her being super sexy.
voice of an angel, body of a filthy trollop :bounce: hwoar: :smitten:

hmmmmm

Well if you're revoking my nomination for Charolotte the Harlot Meaty, can I stick Makosi in there instead? ......for that ultimate drama queen -"I think I may be pregnant" -while-looking-innocently-but-directly-into BB-camera-after-having-sex-five-minutes-previously - line????
fookin twat Makosi evil

:taz:

22 Sep 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Sorry Darkfine, im revoking your Charlotte Church nomination due to her being super sexy.
voice of an angel, body of a filthy trollop :bounce: hwoar: :smitten:

hmmmmm

Well if you're revoking my nomination for Charolotte the Harlot Meaty, can I stick Makosi in there instead? ......for that ultimate drama queen -"I think I may be pregnant" -while-looking-innocently-but-directly-into BB-camera-after-having-sex-five-minutes-previously - line????
fookin twat Makosi evil

:taz:
sorry Dark, Makosi not allowed either, this is a celebskittles game smackbottom

and she had wonderful breasts

22 Sep 2005

My three would have to be:-
Jasmine Off Trust me I'm a holiday rep. Just for being the most self centred off the planet nobody ever to be on TV. And who is she?
Sara Cox. Wot a waste of air time. Prefer to lisean to my teeth being drilled in surrond sound.
Stan The Almost Man Collmore. For crimes to doggin

22 Sep 2005

Quote by johneboy
Rod, Jane and Freddy..... like you need an excuse

whats wrong with rod jane and freddy

22 Sep 2005

Quote by johneboy
sorry Dark, Makosi not allowed either, this is a celeb skittles game
and she had wonderful breasts

Oh ffs!!

- ok, nomination number 3 has to be.........
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen - ohhh those suits :roll:
on an equal par to
Paris Hilton - and that fookin rat on a string she calls a dog :twisted:

22 Sep 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
Roy Chubby Brown - cause hesd a arse hole, but he'd prob take that as a complimet

Can't disagree with you here, but there's a but. I had the (dis)pleaseure to watch one of his videos - I was off work not very well, and I was sick of the quiz shows that pollute daytime tv - so I put this in. Now his jokes are unfunny, but he did one piece that was, in my opinion, very good. He told a story using, mainly, the titles of Beatles songs.
I'd still put him on pin 1 though, with Jordan and whats his name behind..
And Nicolas Cage.
And the entire cast list of all the soaps (can we liquidise them first so that they would all fit on one pin?) not technically stars, but they are on TV.
Cliff Richard - no one will play his songs, so he can at least play the game

22 Sep 2005

Colin Montgomerie........... the 'nearly' man of golf, miserable as sin and looks like Mrs Doubtfire on a bad day :silly:
William Shatner......for that Kellogg's ad and all those songs

Brad Pitt...... for dumping Jennifer Aniston loon

:smackbottom: :smackbottom:

22 Sep 2005

Quote by Robert1961
Rod, Jane and Freddy..... like you need an excuse

whats wrong with rod jane and freddy

Bungle-ing fool loon

22 Sep 2005

Quote by johneboy
Brad Pitt...... for dumping Jennifer Aniston :smackbottom:

Seconds this nomination with:
Brad Pitt, for shagging Angelina Jolie - cos I saw her first :twisted:

22 Sep 2005

Quote by johneboy
Rod, Jane and Freddy..... like you need an excuse

whats wrong with rod jane and freddy

Bungle-ing fool loon

Several years ago I dreamt I missed the FA Cup final as I had to go and speak to Bungle because of his continued foul and abusive language. He comes across as nice as pie on TV but as soon as he creeps into your dreams it's a different matter all together!
In fairness to Rod, Jane and Freddie though, they were the original children's TV swingers! wink

22 Sep 2005

Tony Blair
John Prescott
Peter Mandelson
+ one large wrecking ball

22 Sep 2005

Quote by Ianito
Rod, Jane and Freddy..... like you need an excuse

whats wrong with rod jane and freddy

Bungle-ing fool loon

Several years ago I dreamt I missed the FA Cup final as I had to go and speak to Bungle because of his continued foul and abusive language. He comes across as nice as pie on TV but as soon as he creeps into your dreams it's a different matter all together!
In fairness to Rod, Jane and Freddie though, they were the original children's TV swingers! wink

:laughabove: :laughabove: lmao

22 Sep 2005

Interesting that the same names keep turning up here! I saw this last night and considered my selection carefully only to find this morning that they are here anyway! lol

My three are:
Jonathon Woss - not funny at all (unless you like insults and someone trying to be Chubby Brown) and then he tries to be intellectual in his Film show. mad

Chris Evans - talentless git! :x
David Dickinson - just too orange! :lol:
The rest of the skittles would be made up of politicians, so called world leaders, idiot sportsmen etc.
McC

22 Sep 2005

i would go for
Alex Ferguson - when will he stop spiting his gum out after a game
George Bush - do i have to have a reason ?
and the whole Conservative Party - for being useless and not getting there act together, not that i support them it just we need some half decent opposition in this country

22 Sep 2005

Quote by Robert1961
i would go for
Alex Ferguson - when will he stop spiting his gum out after a game
George Bush - do i have to have a reason ?
and the whole Conservative Party - for being useless and not getting there act together, not that i support them it just we need some half decent opposition in this country

well said !!!!!!!
Robert only 10 skittles in the game though mate

22 Sep 2005

that croc man steve ( thingy) wot a thick shit.
the mans got a death wish, he needs medication.
sierra x x

22 Sep 2005

Don't think I have seen Robbie Williams mentioned. Can't stand the whinging git.
Bono self righteous little prat.
The Blairs. Ok I know people laugh at David Icke and his Lizard theory but just look at this pair. Its obviously its true lol

Wayne Rooney over rated fat bloke.

22 Sep 2005

1, alan hanson, know it all twat, who actually knows nothing about what he talks about.
2, michael jackson, makes my skin crawl.
3, edwina curry, as above.....

22 Sep 2005

Julia Roberts. Who told her she was attractive?
Sandra Bullock. As above.
Tom Cruise. Same again.

22 Sep 2005

So Vix you an employee of Halifax??? May shift me monies across just to see your handling... ooo---eerr!!!
You ain't suffering much spite in your nominations there though eh???
And yep they are ugly bastards... as is that weird head shaped Howard..(what is with that fucking cgi twat??) and the fucking useless Barry White takeoff.. how to ruin a sing...
Johneboy great nomination in William Shatner.. they songs were awful but none as bad as Leonard Nimoy and the Bilbo Baggins song!!!
So far through looking at the nominations our skittles would end up kinda looking like...
1 George W
2 Tony blair (has to go as close to George as he can just in case his cock slips out..)
3 Pete Docherty
4 Ant n Dec
5 Jordan & Peter
6 Charlotte Church
7 Kate Moss
8 Brad Pitt
9 Rod Jane & Freddie
11 Wayne Rooney
Yep I know Wayne Rooney is number 11... the 1- pin would have been Osama twat laden... but no fucker has seen it for so long.... droll I know..

22 Sep 2005

Right at the front I would put Ricky Gervais, don't find him funny one bit, and I think he's completely up his own arse.
Bernie Ecclestone (F1 boss), too much money for the man who spoiled F1.
Nobbie Williams, nuff said.
And well said Farkuen, about Jasmine from "Trust Me, I'm A Holiday Rep", who the fluck is she, and why is she a flucking celebrity?!?!?!?!?