If we believed everything in the movies...
- Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not.
- At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
- Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
- If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
- Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
- Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which
will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.
- You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
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If we believed everything in the movies
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Sex God
MrFC 
:
you are surely not suggesting that i shouldn't believe all of the above???
my fragile illusions have been so carelessly shattered once again! thanks! <<< humph >>>
oh . . . and
n x x x ;-)
: you are surely not suggesting that i shouldn't believe all of the above???
my fragile illusions have been so carelessly shattered once again! thanks! <<< humph >>>oh . . . and
n x x x ;-)
No matter how busy- the hero can always park right outside-
No-one goes to the loo-
Ppl always pay in shops with the exact amount-
Rounds from firearms cant go further than 20 feet-
-and bounce off EVERYTHING-
Cars always breakdown with the same 'ke-chunk, ker-chunk' noise-
Cars are always fixed from underneath-
Barmen are always wiping a glass with a dish-rag-
Fast food joints never have a queue-
Ppl never finish the aforementioned fast food-
Or a cigarrette.
No-one goes to the loo-
Ppl always pay in shops with the exact amount-
Rounds from firearms cant go further than 20 feet-
-and bounce off EVERYTHING-
Cars always breakdown with the same 'ke-chunk, ker-chunk' noise-
Cars are always fixed from underneath-
Barmen are always wiping a glass with a dish-rag-
Fast food joints never have a queue-
Ppl never finish the aforementioned fast food-
Or a cigarrette.
Sex God
All extraterrestrials are six feet tall, have two arms and two legs, can breathe terrestrial air, are accustomed to 1G gravity and speak perfect English. They can survive interstellar wars with each other using technologies undreamed of by humankind, but they can't win a dogfight with the United States Air Force.
Mod
And everyone has a telephone area code of " 555 ".................... :lol2:
Mal
Mal
Sex God
Quote by Clare_Lincs
And no one ever farts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup! They used up Hollywood's quota in Blazing Saddles!
Sex God
No one has the flint fly out of their lighter so it wont light
When they squeeze the mayonaise bottle it never makes that "fart" noise
When they squeeze the mayonaise bottle it never makes that "fart" noise
Orgasminator
Quote by mal609
And everyone has a telephone area code of " 555 ".................... :lol2:
Mal
There's actually a reason for that ....... some people actually try to phone the numbers in films
Sex God
- If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.-
I wish ............I wish......... I wish !!!!! huhhh!!!! and MrsFc sighs
Orgasminator
Oh yeah and computers never crash, the internet is instantaneous, no need to wait for pages to download and computers accept written english commands, so even the most sophisticated security system can be breached by simply typing "disable security".
Sex God
Every time someone suddenly hangs up on the phone or gets cut off, the other person looks at the receiver to see where they've gone.
Every time someone's interviewed on the TV news, they always walk past the camera beforehand, then suddenly appear again in front of it.
Mike.
Every time someone's interviewed on the TV news, they always walk past the camera beforehand, then suddenly appear again in front of it.
Mike.
Orgasminator
Any door can be opened with a credit card.
Putting a pair of glasses on makes you instantly unrecognisable.
Putting a pair of glasses on makes you instantly unrecognisable.
Sex God
The flunky at the hotel knows you want a taxi before you ask him, and the taxi always pulls up exactly seconds after said flunky clicks his fingers.
Orgasminator
Quote by gurl
Maybe that helps...But I think, not wearing your underwear on the outside also has something to do with it.
- just a 'super' gurl
That's where I've been going wrong :shock:
Quote by anaisWas hoping no-one would recognise me.......
Who said that :uhoh:
Sex God
Any picture no matter what the resolution , can be "enhanced" and zoomed in on so you can read the book the person in the crowd is reading.
Americans only ever eat "eggs" for breakfast.
All cheerleaders no matter who they are , are evil nasty fuckers.
One legged , short sighted , short ,fat ,stupid, inadequate people can achieve anything if they try hard enough and really want it bad.
A three stone dripping wet guy can use martial arts techniques and beat the shit out of six seventeen stone knife wielding bikers.
Policemen really know ALL of those code things beginning with " 10-something"
Most international bikini models started out their careers in an isolated roadside cafe wearing a gingham apron that didnt quite fit and pouring coffee - and were rescued and taken to the big city by a passing model agent.
Most unbelievable of all .....Steven Segal can punch his way out of a paper bag ( ive never seen a special forces kung fu expert that looked more like an accountant)
G
Americans only ever eat "eggs" for breakfast.
All cheerleaders no matter who they are , are evil nasty fuckers.
One legged , short sighted , short ,fat ,stupid, inadequate people can achieve anything if they try hard enough and really want it bad.
A three stone dripping wet guy can use martial arts techniques and beat the shit out of six seventeen stone knife wielding bikers.
Policemen really know ALL of those code things beginning with " 10-something"
Most international bikini models started out their careers in an isolated roadside cafe wearing a gingham apron that didnt quite fit and pouring coffee - and were rescued and taken to the big city by a passing model agent.
Most unbelievable of all .....Steven Segal can punch his way out of a paper bag ( ive never seen a special forces kung fu expert that looked more like an accountant)
G
Sex God
from a personal standpoint... if it a war film or a slasher type flick... the black dude never survives....... 
:D
come to think about it.... neither does the person who "talks about getting back to the wife and family" :D :D
sean xxxxxxx
:D come to think about it.... neither does the person who "talks about getting back to the wife and family" :D :D
sean xxxxxxx
Sex God
So if youre a brother tryin to make it back home for tea youre about as royally fucked as the poor bastards in the Red shirts on Star Trek then ? :-)
Warming the Bed
Quote by Ice Pie
All extraterrestrials are six feet tall, have two arms and two legs, can breathe terrestrial air, are accustomed to 1G gravity and speak perfect English. They can survive interstellar wars with each other using technologies undreamed of by humankind, but they can't win a dogfight with the United States Air Force.
What film was this in?!
