Dear Dave
In the summer of 2008 take the radiator off the wall and replace it with rolls of foam..........so when you pass out you will still have your front teeth in the morning
Love, hugs and kisses
Dave_Notts
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If you could send a message to yourself a decade ago ......
Quote by the ghost of lp past
"work-life blance", yes, I know you think that is a load of absolute nonsence talk for people who are... well... you know what I mean.
But really lp, have a think about that, one day, just one day... you'll have to 'balance'.
Consider this now, it'll be worth it... or you'll be acting like a ... well, you know what I mean.
Know what I mean?
Tosser.
lp
he was a charmer was old lp
lp
Sex God
Dear my young self
In 2000 you move house
In 2001 you move house again
In 2002 you don't move house
2003 is a good vintage, avoid wet floors
In 2004 you move house again
In 2005 you move house again and that promise someone makes in April won't be kept
2006 is made of nice mushy stuff
2009 is strenuous
In 2000 you move house
In 2001 you move house again
In 2002 you don't move house
2003 is a good vintage, avoid wet floors
In 2004 you move house again
In 2005 you move house again and that promise someone makes in April won't be kept
2006 is made of nice mushy stuff
2009 is strenuous
dont wait another 3 yrs get divorced now and find life
dont piss about so much enjoying yourself though that it takes you 9 yrs to pass your Chartered exams
spend a lot more time with you family while you still have them all
lose weight now and it will save you a lot of pain and back ache in the future, or just dont put so much on
do not take people in thinking you are helping them when you are actually giving them the chance to walk all over you, this will permanently change the way you feel about helping people in the future
dont piss about so much enjoying yourself though that it takes you 9 yrs to pass your Chartered exams
spend a lot more time with you family while you still have them all
lose weight now and it will save you a lot of pain and back ache in the future, or just dont put so much on
do not take people in thinking you are helping them when you are actually giving them the chance to walk all over you, this will permanently change the way you feel about helping people in the future
Sex God
Get your head from up your a**e and stop being such a twat...
Warming the Bed
There is a site a friend used where could write yourself an email, and when it send it, its delayed by exactly a year...
She certainly found her email interesting!
quick google came up with...
She certainly found her email interesting!
quick google came up with...
Sex God
Quote by Dawnie
Get your head from up your a**e and stop being such a twat...
You have been a nice twat at times though
Alas.....Not when it mattered most :cry:
:kiss:
Sex God
Stop smoking now! In 3 years you will get a massive chest infection and cough blood all over the pavement scaring yourself half to death. Save the extra damage quit now.
Get off you arse and do the things you are thinking of and do them well. It will work and you know you can do it so just get on with it. Dont waste another 8 years thinking about things. Ohh and buy a computer and stop being a cheap skate using internet TV, look up Ebay. If you start now I might be rich :razz:
Get off you arse and do the things you are thinking of and do them well. It will work and you know you can do it so just get on with it. Dont waste another 8 years thinking about things. Ohh and buy a computer and stop being a cheap skate using internet TV, look up Ebay. If you start now I might be rich :razz:
Sex God
Buy the house you live in, £80k is actually a bargain
buy shares in Google
buy shares in Google
Sex God
Quote by Dawnie
Get your head from up your a**e and stop being such a twat...
You have been a nice twat at times though
:thumbup: (but minus the :kiss
.
Sex God
I think my message would be:
"Treasure the good things in your life.
Make the most of every good minute.
Minimise the number of bad minutes.
Bank your memories."
Oh and...
"Don't piss into the wind."
.
"Treasure the good things in your life.
Make the most of every good minute.
Minimise the number of bad minutes.
Bank your memories."
Oh and...
"Don't piss into the wind."
.
Sex God
Quote by westerross
I think my message would be:
"Treasure the good things in your life.
Make the most of every good minute.
Minimise the number of bad minutes.
Bank your memories."
Oh and...
"Don't piss into the wind."
.
Fine sentiments indeed :thumbup:
(notice there was no
there either) ;-) 
Sex God
Dear Mr Bluefish, share your fantasy's with Lady Aldwych as it will lead to wonderful things. 
Orgasminator
Stop worrying if they don't like you.
Stop worrying WHY they don't like you.
Realise that you can't make them like you.
Just tell the family to grow up and realise you are who you are.
Stop worrying WHY they don't like you.
Realise that you can't make them like you.
Just tell the family to grow up and realise you are who you are.
I would tell myself to just get rid of him now, the world won`t end and you will cope better and be a better person for it.
Secondly it would be to stop at the first one, you chose him to be first for a reason, so leave it there and look no further.
Thirdly stop being a pussy take a deep breath, jump in and enjoy yourself like never before
Secondly it would be to stop at the first one, you chose him to be first for a reason, so leave it there and look no further.
Thirdly stop being a pussy take a deep breath, jump in and enjoy yourself like never before
Hi, this is me, from ten years in the future. What do you mean, 'made it then'. If you follow my advice, the next ten years will be much easier.
What do you mean, how will you know? Yes, of course I know what a chronoclasm is, I've read the same books you have because I'm you, you idiot.
Incidentally, it's January 2010, for me, and January 2000 for you. Did you enjoy that shag on the balcony on Millenium Eve? Yes, I know she complained she couldn't see the fireworks, I was there, remember?
Bloody Hell, this is complicated, and you, I mean me then, are only making it worse.
OK, tip one. The CSA are twats, and they will ruin your life, but you can't change them. Copy everything you send them, because they will lose it, and you'll have to send it again. Yes, I know it's boring advice.
Tip two. That Saturday night you get drunk in Newcastle, get someone to wake you up at Durham. Getting off the bus in Spennymoor, getting drunker and having bad sex will not make you feel better about yourself and the taxi home will cost a fortune. What do you mean, which Saturday? I can't remember, I was drunk!
Tip three. You get to the end of the decade alive, and intact. Start living as if you expect that to happen, not as if you couldn't care either way.
Tip Four. Don't take that job in 2002. Just don't. You'll know what I mean when it happens.
Tip Five. A beach, Greece 2005. Wipe the sand off your cock before putting that extra strong condom on. You'll thank me for this one.
What do you mean, how will you know? Yes, of course I know what a chronoclasm is, I've read the same books you have because I'm you, you idiot.
Incidentally, it's January 2010, for me, and January 2000 for you. Did you enjoy that shag on the balcony on Millenium Eve? Yes, I know she complained she couldn't see the fireworks, I was there, remember?
Bloody Hell, this is complicated, and you, I mean me then, are only making it worse.
OK, tip one. The CSA are twats, and they will ruin your life, but you can't change them. Copy everything you send them, because they will lose it, and you'll have to send it again. Yes, I know it's boring advice.
Tip two. That Saturday night you get drunk in Newcastle, get someone to wake you up at Durham. Getting off the bus in Spennymoor, getting drunker and having bad sex will not make you feel better about yourself and the taxi home will cost a fortune. What do you mean, which Saturday? I can't remember, I was drunk!
Tip three. You get to the end of the decade alive, and intact. Start living as if you expect that to happen, not as if you couldn't care either way.
Tip Four. Don't take that job in 2002. Just don't. You'll know what I mean when it happens.
Tip Five. A beach, Greece 2005. Wipe the sand off your cock before putting that extra strong condom on. You'll thank me for this one.
Quote by Kaznkev
Hi, this is me, from ten years in the future. What do you mean, 'made it then'. If you follow my advice, the next ten years will be much easier.
What do you mean, how will you know? Yes, of course I know what a chronoclasm is, I've read the same books you have because I'm you, you idiot.
Incidentally, it's January 2010, for me, and January 2000 for you. Did you enjoy that shag on the balcony on Millenium Eve? Yes, I know she complained she couldn't see the fireworks, I was there, remember?
Bloody Hell, this is complicated, and you, I mean me then, are only making it worse.
OK, tip one. The CSA are twats, and they will ruin your life, but you can't change them. Copy everything you send them, because they will lose it, and you'll have to send it again. Yes, I know it's boring advice.
Tip two. That Saturday night you get drunk in Newcastle, get someone to wake you up at Durham. Getting off the bus in Spennymoor, getting drunker and having bad sex will not make you feel better about yourself and the taxi home will cost a fortune. What do you mean, which Saturday? I can't remember, I was drunk!
Tip three. You get to the end of the decade alive, and intact. Start living as if you expect that to happen, not as if you couldn't care either way.
Tip Four. Don't take that job in 2002. Just don't. You'll know what I mean when it happens.
Tip Five. A beach, Greece 2005. Wipe the sand off your cock before putting that extra strong condom on. You'll thank me for this one.
:laughabove: So want to know why tip 5 is so important ?It's a man thing, lol.
Worst of all a normal condom would probably have given way - the esxtra strong (hope she take sit up the ****) type condom simply turned itself into hitech sandpaper....
