I`m in love with you

9 Sep 2008

My point is that marriage is extensibly a union of two people and two people only - they make specific vows to be faithful to just each other. That means have sex with one person.
So swinging tends to contradict these vows.
I'm not saying people can't do what the hell they like, I'm just testing the logic of the argument for swinging used by married couples and finding it flawed, if taken in conjunction with the actual marriage vows.
In fact the very reason I am on this site is because a 'swinger', presumably not being satisfied with their swinging lifestyle, came onto the standard dating site I was on, pretending he was single! This contradicts what seems to me to be the basic premise of swinging ie that it prevents your partner from straying! Lol
How's that for breaking the rules? Lol lol

9 Sep 2008

Quote by Laurenxxx_1
My point is that marriage is extensibly a union of two people and two people only - they make specific vows to be faithful to just each other. That means have sex with one person.
So swinging tends to contradict these vows.
I'm not saying people can't do what the hell they like, I'm just testing the logic of the argument for swinging used by married couples and finding it flawed, if taken in conjunction with the actual marriage vows.
In fact the very reason I am on this site is because a 'swinger', presumably not being satisfied with their swinging lifestyle, came onto the standard dating site I was on, pretending he was single! This contradicts what seems to me to be the basic premise of swinging ie that it prevents your partner from straying! Lol
How's that for breaking the rules? Lol

I'm not sure that's absolutely true. Marriage comes from religious teachings and has become institutionalised as a way of keeping some basic fundamental religious beliefs intact. This is true of all religions, in terms of society, I think?
The notion of marriage as an institution is really to do with the rearing of children, and nothing to do with sex per say. The confusion, I believe, is because they are inextricably linked.

9 Sep 2008

Quote by Laurenxxx_1
My point is that marriage is extensibly a union of two people and two people only - they make specific vows to be faithful to just each other. That means have sex with one person.
So swinging tends to contradict these vows.
I'm not saying people can't do what the hell they like, I'm just testing the logic of the argument for swinging used by married couples and finding it flawed, if taken in conjunction with the actual marriage vows.
In fact the very reason I am on this site is because a 'swinger', presumably not being satisfied with their swinging lifestyle, came onto the standard dating site I was on, pretending he was single! This contradicts what seems to me to be the basic premise of swinging ie that it prevents your partner from straying! Lol
How's that for breaking the rules? Lol

right ere goes lets try and explain best we can
we got married 20 years ago as we felt we wanted to cement our love and commit to each other for the rest of our days
now just because we married did not mean we commited to sex in missionary with the lights out oh no we are both very experimental in our sex lifes always have been always will be and being so i guess meant it inevitable we would fall into swinging eventually
it wasn't entered into lightly or blindly it was discussed at great length which would get us very horny and result in a fantastic shaggin session :lol:
i would always say no to the idea for many many years as i felt to b with another guy would feel like i was cheating even if my husband was there with me encouraging me to fuck him bandy :shock: and i must make it clear it was his thing to see me with other guys he was never a case of him wanting other women and this was a way of gettin ligit pussy :lol:
we even went as far as contact mags (pre internet for those that remember :lol: ) but i still couldn't bring myself to do it as i still felt it would be against my fidelity vows yet hubby still went on and on about it telling me over and over it was complelty different to cheating he would b there it would all b out in the open nothing hidden
then 7 years ago we stummbled across dogging and it really was stumbled hubby could not of engineered it it was my idea to go shag in this particular car park and i had never even heard of dogging at that point we was gob smacked at what was goin on but i had to admit that even though we didn't do anything just observed i was rather turned on well it all snowballed from there went from dogging to joining sites like this to arranging meets to our fave clubs and trust me i have never ever felt like it was cheating seeing the throbber it gives my hubby and how wet it makes me watching him with other women (they were introduced later at my absolute insistance) it could never be cheating or wrong or breaking our vows
our vows are to cherish each other and we definatly do that very very much we didn't enter into this world lightly and we don't take our marraige for granted because of it
i hope i have opened your mind to marrieds in the swinging world hun

9 Sep 2008

My point is that marriage is extensibly a union of two people and two people only - they make specific vows to be faithful to just each other. That means have sex with one person.
I understand totally where you are coming from here!
As you so rightly said, marriage is the union of two people, so the two people can make a choice to do together whatever they feel is right for them.
We both agree that some parts of marriage vows seem a little dated we see them as being a way of conducting a marriage, we don't believe they are set in stone.
As long as both parties are happy and the action has no impact on our family as a whole then we feel we can do what we enjoy together.
So swinging tends to contradict these vows.
I'm not saying people can't do what the hell they like, I'm just testing the logic of the argument for swinging used by married couples and finding it flawed, if taken in conjunction with the actual marriage vows.
In fact the very reason I am on this site is because a 'swinger', presumably not being satisfied with their swinging lifestyle, came onto the standard dating site I was on, pretending he was single! This contradicts what seems to me to be the basic premise of swinging ie that it prevents your partner from straying! Lol
We see it as sharing expierances that we enjoy together.
Neither myself or my husband would ever do anything behind each others backs. We have no need to, it could be the ones that say they are single that are married that possibly you might have issue with.
Correct me is I am wrong.
How's that for breaking the rules? Lol lol

[/quote
We feel we are bending the rules slightly to please ourselves wink

:lol: :lol:

9 Sep 2008

Thanks for peoples' replies - I feel I understand a bit better now.

9 Sep 2008

I think that at some point maybe that honour and doing the 'right thing' should come into play.
I know and understand that love can be cruel and that it may strike a person who least expects it or wants it. However, in the Swinging fraternity/sorority surely one of the reasons we swing is that it is detached from the emotion sociosexual accepted practice. The participants should always at every point expect the NSA part of Swinging.
Honour should be enough to result in the person falling 'in love' with another in the equation to think step back and f*ck off out of it. Anything else is possibly just plain nasty crappy life destroying bollox. it may be that there are fundamental problems underlying in the other members involved, thats nothing to do with anyone but those involved, it is a matter of honour and the right thing for the 'extra(s)' in the relationship to go sling their hook.
We could also mention that if we are talking about a single person involved with a couple. There is the idea of course that still hangs over defining swingers as being specific to couples not singles. Singles being the just the tool (no pun intended) to facilitate the couple swing. Thats an age old arguement though.
My advice to anyone out there finding themselves in the position of getting emotionally attached with a couple who swing is DONT. If you do your just being a bastard. It aint right or fair on them.

9 Sep 2008

Quote by Lost
I think that at some point maybe that honour and doing the 'right thing' should come into play.
I know and understand that love can be cruel and that it may strike a person who least expects it or wants it. However, in the Swinging fraternity/sorority surely one of the reasons we swing is that it is detached from the emotion sociosexual accepted practice. The participants should always at every point expect the NSA part of Swinging.
Honour should be enough to result in the person falling 'in love' with another in the equation to think step back and f*ck off out of it. Anything else is possibly just plain nasty crappy life destroying bollox. it may be that there are fundamental problems underlying in the other members involved, thats nothing to do with anyone but those involved, it is a matter of honour and the right thing for the 'extra(s)' in the relationship to go sling their hook.
We could also mention that if we are talking about a single person involved with a couple. There is the idea of course that still hangs over defining swingers as being specific to couples not singles. Singles being the just the tool (no pun intended) to facilitate the couple swing. Thats an age old arguement though.
My advice to anyone out there finding themselves in the position of getting emotionally attached with a couple who swing is DONT. If you do your just being a bastard. It aint right or fair on them.

:roll: Lost didn't you write this yesterday? this was the last post I read before the whole thread disappeared..spooky.. or did I just dream it? lol

9 Sep 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
I think that at some point maybe that honour and doing the 'right thing' should come into play.
I know and understand that love can be cruel and that it may strike a person who least expects it or wants it. However, in the Swinging fraternity/sorority surely one of the reasons we swing is that it is detached from the emotion sociosexual accepted practice. The participants should always at every point expect the NSA part of Swinging.
Honour should be enough to result in the person falling 'in love' with another in the equation to think step back and f*ck off out of it. Anything else is possibly just plain nasty crappy life destroying bollox. it may be that there are fundamental problems underlying in the other members involved, thats nothing to do with anyone but those involved, it is a matter of honour and the right thing for the 'extra(s)' in the relationship to go sling their hook.
We could also mention that if we are talking about a single person involved with a couple. There is the idea of course that still hangs over defining swingers as being specific to couples not singles. Singles being the just the tool (no pun intended) to facilitate the couple swing. Thats an age old arguement though.
My advice to anyone out there finding themselves in the position of getting emotionally attached with a couple who swing is DONT. If you do your just being a bastard. It aint right or fair on them.

:roll: Lost didn't you write this yesterday? this was the last post I read before the whole thread disappeared..spooky.. or did I just dream it? lol

I looked all over for this thread last night, found it and lost it again. Looked for it again, found it and thought I would post on it so I could find it easily again. Took approx five minutes before my post showed....hence my post in the steam room - thought I was going crackers (again) :lol: Only seems to happen on some threads confused

9 Sep 2008

Quote by anais
I think that at some point maybe that honour and doing the 'right thing' should come into play.
I know and understand that love can be cruel and that it may strike a person who least expects it or wants it. However, in the Swinging fraternity/sorority surely one of the reasons we swing is that it is detached from the emotion sociosexual accepted practice. The participants should always at every point expect the NSA part of Swinging.
Honour should be enough to result in the person falling 'in love' with another in the equation to think step back and f*ck off out of it. Anything else is possibly just plain nasty crappy life destroying bollox. it may be that there are fundamental problems underlying in the other members involved, thats nothing to do with anyone but those involved, it is a matter of honour and the right thing for the 'extra(s)' in the relationship to go sling their hook.
We could also mention that if we are talking about a single person involved with a couple. There is the idea of course that still hangs over defining swingers as being specific to couples not singles. Singles being the just the tool (no pun intended) to facilitate the couple swing. Thats an age old arguement though.
My advice to anyone out there finding themselves in the position of getting emotionally attached with a couple who swing is DONT. If you do your just being a bastard. It aint right or fair on them.

:roll: Lost didn't you write this yesterday? this was the last post I read before the whole thread disappeared..spooky.. or did I just dream it? lol

:smackbottom:It was you? :shock: :shock: Y
ou could have got away with it :lol: :lol:
I blamed lost last night in the chat rooms! :twisted:

:rotflmao:

9 Sep 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
I think that at some point maybe that honour and doing the 'right thing' should come into play.
I know and understand that love can be cruel and that it may strike a person who least expects it or wants it. However, in the Swinging fraternity/sorority surely one of the reasons we swing is that it is detached from the emotion sociosexual accepted practice. The participants should always at every point expect the NSA part of Swinging.
Honour should be enough to result in the person falling 'in love' with another in the equation to think step back and f*ck off out of it. Anything else is possibly just plain nasty crappy life destroying bollox. it may be that there are fundamental problems underlying in the other members involved, thats nothing to do with anyone but those involved, it is a matter of honour and the right thing for the 'extra(s)' in the relationship to go sling their hook.
We could also mention that if we are talking about a single person involved with a couple. There is the idea of course that still hangs over defining swingers as being specific to couples not singles. Singles being the just the tool (no pun intended) to facilitate the couple swing. Thats an age old arguement though.
My advice to anyone out there finding themselves in the position of getting emotionally attached with a couple who swing is DONT. If you do your just being a bastard. It aint right or fair on them.

:roll: Lost didn't you write this yesterday? this was the last post I read before the whole thread disappeared..spooky.. or did I just dream it? lol

:smackbottom:It was you? :shock: :shock: Y
ou could have got away with it :lol: :lol:
I blamed lost last night in the chat rooms! :twisted:

:rotflmao:
To be honest, I do think Lost put the heebie jeebies on it, so lets just blame him anyway :giggle:
Errm thank you for the smack bottom, was quite nice :lol2: :lol2:

10 Sep 2008

The first "Heebie Jeebies" was a banjo specialty written and recorded by Harry Reser in early 1925.
The second "Heebie Jeebies" was written by Boyd Atkins and achieved fame when it was recorded by Louis Armstrong in 1926. The recording on Okeh Records by Louis Armstrong & His Hot Five includes a famous chorus of scat :shock: singing(and there was I thinking his singing wasn't so bad)

i]Lost sings
Folks, today I got the blues,
Tried tonight, I just can't lose,
And the feelin' that I want to dance,
I'm warnin' you in advance!
But keep you from bein' in doubt,
I'm gonna tell you what it's all about:
Say, I got the heebies,
I mean the jeebies;
I'm talkin' about
Those heebie jeebie blues,
That they call it, boys,
Mix it in with a little bit of joy!
Say, don't you know it,
You should be shown these naughty blues,
I wanna teach you, so come on,
To do that dance,
They call the heebie jeebies!
Yes, ma'am!
Yes, mama's got to do the heebie jeebies dance!

Oh, play it, Mister Lorence!
Hmmm, ain't it grand, ain't it grand!
Aaah, lord!
Oh, I got!
I'm talkin'!
About those heebies!
Lord, mix it in with a little bit of joy!
Say, don't!
Should be shown!
Just come on down, do that dance,
Called the heebie jeebies,
Yes, ma'am!
Mama's got to do the heebie jeebies dance!
Aaaw, I got to do that dance!

11 Sep 2008

I think it's possible to become too fond of someone the same way as you can in the vanilla world. It's just as easy to meet someone you feel instantly connected to in this environment as in other situations.
As someone said earlier, you can't help who you fall for. It's a danger of meeting with someone regularly, you're bound to develop feelings with someone eventually.