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I'm single and don't swing so why do I do it

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After the goings on in here http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/25116.html I'm compelled to voice my reasons clearly as to why I am on a swinging site.
Yes, sex brought me here. I won't deny that fact. To be more specific, it is sex with more than one partner which happens to be my curiosity. This girl happens to have a thing for bi men. There, it's out in the open, those I speak to already know. None of us on here are *straight laced missionary in the dark* kinda people. But I'm sure some of you will understand when I say, even though sex brought me here I'm not quite ready for the great big leap just yet. I don't want to swing on my own. I'd like to find a partner with whom I'm comfortable with first. In the mean time I enjoy the forum and the people I've bonded with on here. It's the people and the friendship I've found on SH which has me coming back for more. My journy of exploration has only just begun. How far will it take me and what are the limits? I don't know. It's slowly slowly for now.
If I had to put myself into a box or was asked to describe myself it would have to be....I'm a swinger who doesn't swing (yet)
There's a lot of people just like me.
Well said Libra hun kiss
Can I just add that while this may be a "Swingers" site, The Cafe is for general talk and not solely for swinging.... Therefore The Cafe is open to anyone, whether they be a swinger or not....
No-one has the right to expect people to justify why they are contributing to a swingers forum when they are not swinging themselves.....
Just my opinion...
Shireen
xxx
Nicely said Libra, we swing but only on rare occasions, call us picky! But in the meantime, I have been up to a bi fem Ann Summers party, and chatted in PM with lots of friendly people, posted lots of message and just generally enjoyed myself in here. :thrilled:
Quote by Libra-Love
My journy of exploration has only just begun. How far will it take me and what are the limits? I don't know. It's slowly slowly for now.
If I had to put myself into a box or was asked to describe myself it would have to be....I'm a swinger who doesn't swing (yet)
There's a lot of people just like me.

Count me as on of those.
No need to put yourself in a box. U'll just get cramp and want to go bursting out and do something completely different. Well - at least that's what I want to do when others try and put me in a box!
I don't think any one of us has to justify why we enjoy hanging around the cafe. It's a comfy place to be - and you're welcome to pull up a chair and have a cuppa with me anytime.
coffee
Quote by Libra-Love
After the goings on in here http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/25116.html I'm compelled to voice my reasons clearly as to why I am on a swinging site.
Yes, sex brought me here. I won't deny that fact. To be more specific, it is sex with more than one partner which happens to be my curiosity. This girl happens to have a thing for bi men. There, it's out in the open, those I speak to already know. None of us on here are *straight laced missionary in the dark* kinda people. But I'm sure some of you will understand when I say, even though sex brought me here I'm not quite ready for the great big leap just yet. I don't want to swing on my own. I'd like to find a partner with whom I'm comfortable with first. In the mean time I enjoy the forum and the people I've bonded with on here. It's the people and the friendship I've found on SH which has me coming back for more. My journy of exploration has only just begun. How far will it take me and what are the limits? I don't know. It's slowly slowly for now.
If I had to put myself into a box or was asked to describe myself it would have to be....I'm a swinger who doesn't swing (yet)
There's a lot of people just like me.

Heck...Bi Men..Heck..more than one partner..Heck...sex brought me here..Heck..not sure if Im ready for great big leap...Heck...not on my own...Heck...like to find a partner who Im comfortable with first (sacked the last one for being a twat)...Heck...enjoy the forum
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Al places the telepathic shield over her head cos she feels she wrote that, but didnt
Well said Libra Love
The whole point of fantasies is to enjoy the journey, not just try and get it over with ASAP. So you carry on exactly as you are, it suits you and that's what's important.
I am in a similar position, there are a couple of fantasies that I would love to carry out one day. They have got to be with the right person, in the right circumstance and at the right time etc.
Until that time happens, or even if it happens, then I'm determined to just have a great time and enjoy myself within my limits for now.
:happy:
If I had to put myself into a box . .

can't see why you'd wanna do that? no boxes here, uncomfy bloody things they are. homeless people sleep in 'em to keep warm. but if you wanna try and squeeze yourself into one, be my guest! :lol2:
all that's asked of here, is an open mind and a willingness to contribute, and if you find something along the way, whatever that may be, all well and good. dunno if that makes you a swinger, or a wannabe swinger, or a non-swinger, or what, but frankly, i couldn't give a flying one! ;)
n x x x ;)
I and my other half Angelica don't swing. The fact that this place is at least partly populated by swingers is very attractive to me but not because I want to swing with them. I find people who accept swinging to be generally open minded, tolerant of others' views, with a humorous outlook on life. These are just a few of the qualities of people I really like here. I'm sorry - a little of the subject but something I wanted to say.
Quote by westerross
I I find people who accept swinging to be generally open minded, tolerant of others' views, with a humorous outlook on life. These are just a few of the qualities of people I really like here. I'm sorry - a little of the subject but something I wanted to say.

Maybe a little off subject but I'll second that one!!!
i don't think there is any real need to label anyone.. or we would all be in a thousand different boxes...... biggrin :D :D :D
i think that what does bind us all together is that we like to chat, and share experiences be that swinging or otherwise........
smile :)
sean xxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Libra-Love
None of us on here are *straight laced missionary in the dark* kinda people.

I dunno, I quite like missionary position in the dark. smile Only problem is you can't really see what you're doing... kinda embarassing to find you've actually been humping someone's knee for fifteen minutes...
Quote by roger743
I dunno, I quite like missionary position in the dark. smile Only problem is you can't really see what you're doing... kinda embarassing to find you've actually been humping someone's knee for fifteen minutes...
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I have had the most fascinating time since I became active on this forum 6 weeks ago,had loads of fun and loads of insights on the board itself and some fantastic PMs.
I do hope to meet some of you along the way but by that I mean the pure meaning of meet,meeting the person behind the posts.
The sexual aspect?Who knows?Of course its a potential element though I won't have the problem you attractive women have with loads of potential partners jostling for position redface - though I've had two e-mails (including a cock shot! :shock: ) from two fellows who clearly thought I was a VERY different kind of fruitcake to the one I am! lol
I ofen say I don't know if I'm a swinger or a winger,or a swanger or a ,thorough here,I will get to find out.
A big thanks to those who've already helped me with a kind word or three on this rather perplexing but wonderful journey so far. X
Quote by roger743
Only problem is you can't really see what you're doing... kinda embarassing to find you've actually been humping someone's knee for fifteen minutes...

That's what my dog does. Stupid boy that's not the missionary position - it must be the doggy.
bolt
I'm no swinger either Libra.
I've found my partner and am very happy.
I joined this site out of curiosity....
stupidly and drunkenly posted an ad, but it wasn't asking for a meet....just info to feed my curiosity!! redface surprisedops: :oops:
But now......
Every f*cking night I get home from work and read these threads... It's been said before and i'll say it too.... SH Towers is a labrynth! Ain't no turning back once you are in.
It is definitely a compelling place to be. Bloody funny people too!
You enjoy what you can... seems to me you won't get lambasted by the people in this forum for not swinging!!
I disagree with boxes... so that's me in a nutshell... lol
Quote by JudyTV
I would be interested in whether other people mind being boxed or labelled.
Judy

I was just about to go punching those keys to say "I hate being boxed and labelled" - and then I had to stop and think....no matter how much I don't like being labelled - society forces me label myself to some extent. Or - to rephrase that - "where I wish to sit in society forces me to label myself".
I have introduced myself on this forum in terms of a label - a bi-closeted Lesbian. I actually CHOSE that label on here. In mainstream society I CHOOSE the label "Lesbian" over bi-sexual. The only place I refuse to wear a label is in the Lesbian community where I refuse to adopt any label and will change my entire "look" just to make that point if need be.
So - can it be that I am only comfortable going labless in a sommunity where I feel totally comfortable and at ease in the first place?
Fascinating topic.....I hate labels and would hate someone to label me just because they think they know me.
I AM a Swinger and proud of it but I haven't had many experiences of it and that's fine with me, I'm just taking my own sweet time and not pressuring myself to do anything that I'm not comfortable doing.
I think that this site is for everyone (well, everyone over 18 rolleyes ) whether they are Swingers or just here for friendship and fun....
And all of the above is why I love this site so much!!
Everyone is open minded and non-judgemental which is the way everyone should be! biggrin
sorry just really happy today cause Im off for a shag :D
Quote by JudyTV
After the goings on in here http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/25116.html I'm compelled to voice my reasons clearly as to why I am on a swinging site.
If I had to put myself into a box or was asked to describe myself it would have to be....I'm a swinger who doesn't swing (yet)
There's a lot of people just like me.

.
, here Im just a Tranny and thats fine I can live with that.
Judy
Surely not.........
Your the first tranny I have ever met......well......with my knowledge anyway...
And if other tranny's are like you then I look forward to meeting and socialising with more in the future...
smile

This is a very interesting thread for discussion of the different way different people interpret the term 'swinging' - it also crosses generations as in the 60's swinging was all about having a good time, clubs, parties etc... the 70's hippy movement took 'swinging' in a totally different direction which led it onto the path to where it is today. Aids and promiscuity in the 80's/90's meant that sexual swinging was frowned upon and it entered into the backwater of seediness and perversion.
I think lately swinging has become more mainstream because of the infiltration by reporters etc which has given the masses more information about swinging and the people currently involved in it although I wouldn't go as far as to say it has been embraced. Recent newspaper articles in national tabloids, programmes on TV and general discussion have led to an influx of single guys looking for easy sex which has been the downside (for some) of going mainstream. The chat room will bear witness to that.
For me personally, swinging has become a mainstay of my life. I have always been adventurous sexually in a quest to discover just what my own limits are.
My close friends describe me as a true Bohemian in so much as I don't feel that the morality that society imposes upon us has anything to with my own belief systems so long as my beliefs and practices hurt no-one and all involved mutually benefit from it. It's probably why the film 'Sirens' is one of my favourite films.
Slightly of topic: :!:
I believe that morality is defined by the longitude and latitude one finds oneself in compounded by the date. ie. 400 years ago in this country a child of 13 could marry and homosexuality was punishable by death. Look now 400 years later how that 'morality' has changed in THIS country and yet in some parts of the world today the 'morality' of 16th Century England is still enforced.
Back on topic: smile
I enjoy casual sex with strangers immensely but sex within a loving relationship is equally fullfilling - combining the two would be euphoric if I could find the right woman with which to do so - and for me the right woman is someone who accepts me and my sexuality and is happy and comfortable to do so whilst still discovering her own path. To me a person can still be single even when in a relationship as we don't become 'joined at the hip' and we should be free to explore those feelings.
Thanks Libra-Love for getting me thinking about what swinging means to me. :idea:
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An interesting thread..
My take on it is that we all know that we can say "thanks but no thanks" to each other if the need arises. The fact that Libra-love is going to say that to everyone isn't really relevant, it's the fact that she will say it rather than slap the person who suggested it in the face that makes her a valued part of this community smile
It is an interesting thread.
People are on here for all sorts of reasons and at different stages of their experience journey. It doesn’t matter whether Libra is ready to swing or not just that she is honest. Whether or not Libra could be labelled a swinger is irrelevant she is Libra.
Quote by Libra-Love
After the goings on in here http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/25116.html I'm compelled to voice my reasons clearly as to why I am on a swinging site.
Yes, sex brought me here. I won't deny that fact. To be more specific, it is sex with more than one partner which happens to be my curiosity. This girl happens to have a thing for bi men. There, it's out in the open, those I speak to already know. None of us on here are *straight laced missionary in the dark* kinda people. But I'm sure some of you will understand when I say, even though sex brought me here I'm not quite ready for the great big leap just yet. I don't want to swing on my own. I'd like to find a partner with whom I'm comfortable with first. In the mean time I enjoy the forum and the people I've bonded with on here. It's the people and the friendship I've found on SH which has me coming back for more. My journy of exploration has only just begun. How far will it take me and what are the limits? I don't know. It's slowly slowly for now.
If I had to put myself into a box or was asked to describe myself it would have to be....I'm a swinger who doesn't swing (yet)
There's a lot of people just like me.

Hi all, what a smashing and thought provoking thread. Some of the thoughts expressed by you really have made me think, although i'm told, i really shouldn't that. ! Anyway, i thought i would add some of my own views and express them without argument or critisism of anyone else.
I am who i am, and as such, the need to justify myself and my existence is totally irrelevant. I will discuss only because i want to. This is exactly the same for me when it comes to my sexuality. My sexual and physical desires although explored, have shown me that by exploring them, i have not explored everything. Until i have explored all avenues, then how can i see myself as a complete individual. At some point a boundary will be reached, where i believe, i will say, enough is enough. I only believe i will say this, as i haven't ever reached a boundary so far.
I want to experience as much as i can while i am alive and well, and fit enough to explore without too many problems. My list is huge, and from each ticked off entry, there is added different entries to try out.
Why all of the above within this thread, quite simply because i was not brought up to think along these lines. Sex was not something which was flirted, flaunted about. Indeed, a big query was always on, as to whether sex should be enjoyed let alone found to be fun, entertaining and a great laugh. Most of my life until very recently was caught up within this mindset, but i was naturally exploring other options, variations, opinions on the subject of sex. No one ever said that parents are always right.
Each new person who comes onto this site, has my utmost respect, since to get to it, there is a mindset to travel before finding the site. An openmindedness which is looking to be explored. Through this site, i have found a tool to expand my own mind, friendships which have given me courage to explore and overcome some very deep fears based around the brain washing of the society within in which we live. To then discover that these fears were untrue was quite a revelation !!! Compassion for another individual who was struggling with part of there lives, and in some sort of turmoil. To accept that my sexuaility is that, mine, has given me control of my sexuality, and the complete freedom to explore, not left there within a society which can't see past the very society which imposes it in the first place. (This effectively is reference also to wishmasters, slight off the subject)
I am in a box, its called the "i am me" box. I'm totally happy in it. The fact that i'm a single female is almost an afterthought. I'm a single female, only becuase i choose to be that.
In essence, if you are doing exactly what you want to do, then no one has the comprehension to say anything about it either negative or positive. The only person who knows what you want - is you.
This seems to be very long, so i'll be quiet now.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Thanks to all who have read and/or responded to this thread. I now feel like I can kick the door in and yell, 'Hi honey I'm home.' Reckon it's time to pack those boxes off to the Big Yellow Storage too. :P