I was bullied at school. I was labelled stupid (at age 10 I didn't know my alphabet; whilst my son knew his at 4). To make things worse I was also one of only two white guys in an Asian school. So I got racial abuse too.
Lucky for me the education system (eventually) worked out I was dyslexic and was actually quite smart. I ended up going to a special school - and even ended up getting a good grade at university.
I always had a way of dealing with bullies, in fact it strikes a real note to hear this but not all would agree with my method of dealing with them..
You see as a school boy a few years ago bullying wasnt on the agenda as it is today but was no less a threat to people and there real feelings.. I as a bigger sort of lad used to hate them with a passion, not once ever can I say I sided with the bullies but always stuck up for the underdog, this in turn made me quite unpopular with the so called 'In Crowd' Not that I was ever bothered as I was always a happy chap lol....
The thing is this, once things went just a tad too far and I found myself being victimised by a goup and they managed to manipulate things so I ended up looking in the wrong and sent to work outside for a week.... (Long story lol) Then as they were feeling very smug about things and managing to get a hold of some of the smaller kids into the bargain I literally panned one of the sods with a dirty great big spade right in the face.. not for a whole year did I hear another thing from any of them nor did any bullying go on from them... It seems the old saying Bullies are just cowards is so true!
When my Daughter had trouble I never ever went to teachers, just found the parents house and had a quiet word.. Always worked fine. If that made me a bully so be it but it soon stopped any further bother.
Mike
sounds right to me laird.......
but on my reading of de sades post . it was that he'd had some PM s accusing him of bullying others......... not from the victims..........
surely the victims ( if they exist ) would have to corroborate that they do feel they were bullied....... for the accusations to be true.
it appears that de-sade is denying any wrong doing or intention and is obviously confused as to why these things have been said about him.....
i think this is heading forsomething messy myself.........
i think the idea of widening the topic from a computer game to discussing the forum was a bit of a balls up.... but atleast de sade is going to find out what people think
Bullying, that is the REAL bullying… should not be tolerated in society.
However, some of the lame stuff people on here (not this thread but the site generally) have in the past labelled as bullying is little more than bandwagon jumping bollox (IMO). Being annoyed by something is NOT the same as being bullied, yet time and time again I have seen people rush to bring out the ‘bullying card’. I must add though, that on some occasions it is noticeable the behaviours then demonstrated by the those waving the card is often closer to the definition of bullying than whatever the other person initially did.
People should be very careful about what they label as bullying - unless they are sure they (or their buddies) are not standing in a rather fragile greenhouse.
Well said PL :thumbup:
you fucking scare me when you make sense this early in the mornng :scared:
De_Sade, that must have been very painful to write and even more painful to recall those horrible memories. It shows that bullies don't realise the impact their actions have on people, something that made them feel superior enough to force you to endure has lived with you all this time.
I'm not generally in agreement with 'an eye for an eye' but in this instant, I'm so relieved you did get your own back and I hope it has eased the burden of the memories, even if only a little. Kudos to you, my friend for sharing what can only be described as the most heartfelt and painful post I've read and of course, having the courage to share it with more or less complete strangers. :therethere:
Revenge is most certainly a dish best served cold.
Being bullied at school IMHO never leaves you. Myself & Mr W were both bullied throughout our time at school- 10 years apart but we both have the same scars.
His bullying was mainly physical, and lasted until he was around 15 when he finally lost his rag, and floored the ringleader in front of his gang. He was never touched again.
Mine was mainly verbal, and only started to ease off in the last year when I started to hang around with one of the girls who had been at the head of a gang- her cronies all drifted away gradually and as I was on the periphery, she was left with me.
We both still suffer from low self esteem and self worth- but we try our best to ensure that our girls all stand up for themselves and have faith in themselves.
To this day, I have trouble asking for things in a supermarket because I feel unworthy- and (mostly) act in a meek, mild, confrontation avoiding manner. However, when something flicks my agression switch- all the anger comes flooding out, and it aint pretty.
People are worried about a video game taht sees the main character spend the game as a bully but i dont see you complaing about any of the games that allow you to spend endless amounts of times going on killing sprees or putting meat cleavers in the backs of skulls.....surely those games are more of a worry than games about bullying.
Well there were 4 pages of it!
I've been bullied before myself (alot of my life actually) but i've always been able to get over it so games of taht sort just dont bother me. I kbnow some people cant just shot off those emotions though.
I'll do that tomorrow then! That'll give me an excuse to delay the completition of the assignment i have due in at the end of the day :violin:
For me bullying started when I went to college it was girls and ranged from snide comments at every opportunity to physical harm.
Then I was bullied in the workplace, I worked hard, got promotion and was the youngest person and only female on a management team of over 50 people. It was sexual harrassment mainly - comments about my size, my apparent need for a 'real man' whilst my hubby was at university, my love of all things girlie and my apparently over-empathetic approach to the staff. The higher up I got, the worse the bullying got. I left suddenly in 1997 and never looked back, took a job on less than a quarter of the money but was worth it.
The next big thing was family - my weight, my shyness, my hair colour, my inability to care about material stuff and party with the girls. The final straw was when I went out for a meal with them and they all commented on how innappropriate it was for someone of my size to wear a low cut top as I was distracting people followed by a long discussion about my laziness and failure to earn much. I became a hermit.
This started to change when my son started school. In reception he was a little pickle, never stood still in line and always talked when he should be listening. One morning a mother dragged her son from the line next to him and told him in front of the whole class that he could not stand next to my son as he was such a naughty child and nobody wants a naughty child. He was 4 only a few days before he started school, the others in his calss were mostly almost 5.
I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I held my sons hand as he went silent but (and I have wanted to re-live this moment a million times), I said nothing. Exactly as I had for years - never stood up to anyone. My son became withdrawn and it became apparent that from that one comment something had to change, my son was like me, he learned from me to say nothing and do nothing.
I realised if I didn't change my behaviour, my son would remain bullied right through school and additionally, I would always be a victim as I never stood up to anyone.
I heard a woman commenting about how she didn't want her son on the same table as my son as he is thick. He has extra help with literacy. She said this in front of the children. Instead of walking away I spoke to her and calmly told her that I had been hurt by her comment and hoped that she could see the possible hurt she caused my son. She went bright red and mumbled something then walked away. I don't care what she thought, my son saw me deal with it and thanked me.
With the family, I don't care any longer. Instead of going out of my way to buy them fantastic presents etc in order to please them. I buy them nothing. I am not rude but no longer call each month updating them on how the kids are doing or inviting them round knowing they'll say no. I used to try so hard as I felt sad for my wonderful hubby that they hated me so much.
The final part of the puzzle has been joining here. Accepting that I am beautiful (you'll all be having to deflate my ego at some point), that I can be considered as atrractive by people other than my husband and that I can finally ditch the turtleneck jumpers.
Bullying - it happens and it's crap. Don't just deal with it by pretending it doesn't happen or blaming it on yourself. Tell people if they upset you in cyberspace when people often don't even realise they've hurt someone. Text cannot convey emotion. This is easy too say now but I wasted 10 years of my life hiding away due to my inability to deal with people. Now I have started enjoying life and had a harsh lesson in how the way we deal with people, affects the way our children cope too.
Apologies for the ramble - this is a subject very close to home for me. It's nice to see people being open about it. Anyone want a group hugglie??? and I mean hugglie... no tongues... lol xx
) and I will support, comfort, counsel and be there for him anytime he needs me 
:? 
