We were wondering what everyone's views are on this?
As a couple we tend to use my username !
We noticed on a thread recently that some are not welcome to bring their partners to a munch unless they are members , they must become members first!
where does the line get drawn here?
with regards to usernames for Couples, partners,fuck buddies ect wishing to attend munches?
I have already spoke with a mod regarding this but I would love to hear your opinions
Lucy xx
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Individuality - Usernames & munches!!
Sex God
Quote by AndyS-NE
Personally if you are being invited to a munch you are being invited because your are a trusted member, therefore if you're trusted to come you shoulld be trusted to bring someone along with you who woun't be an arse.
That is my personal view (without my mod's hat on btw) on this issue also. I took a friend to two munches (NW Munch 1 and the Mids Munch) who has never been on SH in his life... he has been swinging longer than many of us put together and I have known him several years.. there was never an issue with this and no-one batted an eyelid.
Who gets invited to munches is ultimately the decision of whoever is the organiser, but as a general rule I'd say (again my PERSONAL view only) that non-members who are the partner /swinging partner of a member who is trusted should be allowed to attend munches..........
I know there would be grey areas but isn't there always
AS it happens us Mods have been discussing that very subject Lucy. This is what we decided:
Quotes anothor Mod
So, sorted! In one fell swoop.
Hope that helps
Quotes anothor Mod
I think if a non member can be vouched for I can't really see a problem - I mean all they would have to do is get a username and they'd be sorted anyway icon_ . I think obviously banned members even if they are married to a trusted member should not be allowed
So, sorted! In one fell swoop.
Hope that helps
Sex God
i take it this was pointed at me..... 
:( :( :(
i am not trying in any way to stop people from bringing partners along.. people who obviously are couples are not going to be affected by this....
there was an occasion at a previous munch where a person was told that they were not going to be invited, then started badgering people until one said they would get them in, they did this but saying they were bringing someone "+1"
i am not saying that i don't trust the people who asking for "+1" to be invited....not in the slightest...
a question was raised in the north-east munch and i tried to answer it accordingly
sean xxxxx
:( :( :( i am not trying in any way to stop people from bringing partners along.. people who obviously are couples are not going to be affected by this....
there was an occasion at a previous munch where a person was told that they were not going to be invited, then started badgering people until one said they would get them in, they did this but saying they were bringing someone "+1"
i am not saying that i don't trust the people who asking for "+1" to be invited....not in the slightest...
a question was raised in the north-east munch and i tried to answer it accordingly
sean xxxxx
totally agree with your input ! Even though our username indicates that its a single guy,we have always been a couple there is even a link to our ad,but as munch organisers got to know us our real names have sometimes gone down instead which we have never had a problem with as we sometimes include our names in posts!....But me (dave ) does most of the postings maggie has enough of Computers at work to want to go on them when she gets home from work!
Sex God
Quote by AndyS-NE
Personally if you are being invited to a munch you are being invited because your are a trusted member, therefore if you're trusted to come you shoulld be trusted to bring someone along with you who woun't be an arse.
My sentiments exactly. There are several members whose partners either don't use a separate ID or who hardly, if ever, post in the forums or use the chatrooms, but they're regular munchgoers and no less a part of the crowd than anyone else. I think if someone who's not known is going for the first time, then if they are going as the partner of someone who is established, that should be all the recommendation they need.
Sex God
Quote by fabio grooverider
there was an occasion at a previous munch where a person was told that they were not going to be invited, then started badgering people until one said they would get them in, they did this but saying they were bringing someone "+1"
i am not saying that i don't trust the people who asking for "+1" to be invited....not in the slightest...
a question was raised in the north-east munch and i tried to answer it accordingly
sean xxxxx
Ah, that's slightly different.
I think in that situation, it would be a matter for the munch organiser to decide whether they know the member well enough to let them bring someone nobody else knows.
Sex God
Quote by SXBOY
why ICE-PIE thats a strange unusual handle ?
You're obviously not a reader of MAD magazine. To those who are, the avatar is a dead giveaway. It's a play on words: Ice Pie = I Spy.
Quote by Ice Pie
why ICE-PIE thats a strange unusual handle ?
You're obviously not a reader of MAD magazine. To those who are, the avatar is a dead giveaway. It's a play on words: Ice Pie = I Spy.
no my reading is quiet limited to bloody construction law and adjudication books at the moment..sadly
Quote by SXBOY
why ICE-PIE thats a strange unusual handle ?
You're obviously not a reader of MAD magazine. To those who are, the avatar is a dead giveaway. It's a play on words: Ice Pie = I Spy.
no my reading is quiet limited to bloody construction law and adjudication books at the moment..sadly
The avater is a dead givaway!
Its a good point that I hadnt really considered.
Mrs Happy Cats does not have an Id and has never posted on here (so dont ever go blaming her!)
However, when asking for an invite to the recent Yorks Munch, it never occurred to me that there might be a problem with her going. Perhaps if she was just a friend it might have been different, I dont know.
Mrs Happy Cats does not have an Id and has never posted on here (so dont ever go blaming her!
) However, when asking for an invite to the recent Yorks Munch, it never occurred to me that there might be a problem with her going. Perhaps if she was just a friend it might have been different, I dont know.
Quote by Happy Cats
Its a good point that I hadnt really considered.
Mrs Happy Cats does not have an Id and has never posted on here (so dont ever go blaming her!
However, when asking for an invite to the recent Yorks Munch, it never occurred to me that there might be a problem with her going. Perhaps if she was just a friend it might have been different, I dont know.
yes but youve always been cats ( plural ) lol
Before I write and post what I’m about to, I’d like you to be absolutely sure that my comments are not aimed at any established individual or couple. Be they munch attendees or organisers.
I had always believed the point of vetting/vouching for munches was aimed at the security of the munch and munchers.
That security, imo; has two aspects. Press intrusion; and behaviour.
Press intrusion I’m going to leave alone. I’d be happy to talk confidentially, but not in the open forum.
That leaves behaviour.
By that I don’t just mean the appropriate behaviour that was discussed recently. I also mean the reasons for attending munches.
I think the Mod and Admin team have put a great deal of effort into writing and recently re-writing the rules and guidelines to munches, in an attempt to keep us safe from the unsavoury and make munches the enjoyable events they are, with huge credit going to the organisers. Yes – there will be exceptions
but by and large – I think most regular munch goers would agree.
I’ve found through life that few rules are actually cast in stone.
To deny a place to the “other half†of a couple because only one of them posts, or is registered is a little petty. Particularly in the case of long standing, respected members, and more so where they have successfully attended munches in the past.
I do however agree wholeheartedly, that the +1 scenario needs very careful consideration. Just who is the +1. Regardless of who is inviting them.
I’ve been a member of SwingingHeaven just over a year. I’ve attended as many munches as I could. I’ve even fucked up at one, and recovered.
Would you necessarily trust me, or the +1 if I wanted to bring an unknown?
I think it would be misplaced trust if you did.
I had always believed the point of vetting/vouching for munches was aimed at the security of the munch and munchers.
That security, imo; has two aspects. Press intrusion; and behaviour.
Press intrusion I’m going to leave alone. I’d be happy to talk confidentially, but not in the open forum.
That leaves behaviour.
By that I don’t just mean the appropriate behaviour that was discussed recently. I also mean the reasons for attending munches.
A Munch is open to all - couples, singles, Gay, Bi, CDs, etc., there are no limits. The exception to this is the brand new newbie, i.e. those who have just joined the site or have not been an active participant. This is only to prevent gawpers, journalists and those who are just TOO curious. Remember, if you are keen to attend a Munch and meet other swingers, but are considered too new for this one, join in and keep posting because there'll be another Munch coming along shortly.
I think the Mod and Admin team have put a great deal of effort into writing and recently re-writing the rules and guidelines to munches, in an attempt to keep us safe from the unsavoury and make munches the enjoyable events they are, with huge credit going to the organisers. Yes – there will be exceptions
but by and large – I think most regular munch goers would agree.I’ve found through life that few rules are actually cast in stone.
To deny a place to the “other half†of a couple because only one of them posts, or is registered is a little petty. Particularly in the case of long standing, respected members, and more so where they have successfully attended munches in the past.
I do however agree wholeheartedly, that the +1 scenario needs very careful consideration. Just who is the +1. Regardless of who is inviting them.
I’ve been a member of SwingingHeaven just over a year. I’ve attended as many munches as I could. I’ve even fucked up at one, and recovered.
Would you necessarily trust me, or the +1 if I wanted to bring an unknown?
I think it would be misplaced trust if you did.
Sex God
Like the other posters, I don't see the problem. Every munch I've been too I've been accompanied by mrs davej (might be why I don't see a problem, bit of a biased view), who isnt a member and has never posted and very seldom reads any posts unless I point one out to her. I echo Andy's point about trusting members to bring a guest or a partner who isnt going to be an arse.
The only other point I would make, is that it's my understanding that generally munch organisers base their guest list around the guidelines that weve come to understand, but ultimately they do the work and they get to say yes or no to requests, to me, that seems right and proper. If I asked to be invited to a munch and the organisers told me it was for members only, or, that mrs davej couldn't come, for what ever reason, then I would simply accept that decision with good grace, cos all said and done it's their 'do' isn't it? arn't those of us that ask to be invited, just that, invited guests? I don't presume any right of attendance to be invited, just because I've been on here a while and I most certainly wouldn't presume a right of attendance for mrs davej just cos I'm a member.
As I said, I think letting members bring non member guests is fine, cos it's then our responsibiliity not to bring a twat (I've tried bringing someone else honest, but she gets the hump) but at the same time if for any reason it's a no..no.. in the opinion of the event organiser then so be it, whats the problem.
The only other point I would make, is that it's my understanding that generally munch organisers base their guest list around the guidelines that weve come to understand, but ultimately they do the work and they get to say yes or no to requests, to me, that seems right and proper. If I asked to be invited to a munch and the organisers told me it was for members only, or, that mrs davej couldn't come, for what ever reason, then I would simply accept that decision with good grace, cos all said and done it's their 'do' isn't it? arn't those of us that ask to be invited, just that, invited guests? I don't presume any right of attendance to be invited, just because I've been on here a while and I most certainly wouldn't presume a right of attendance for mrs davej just cos I'm a member.
As I said, I think letting members bring non member guests is fine, cos it's then our responsibiliity not to bring a twat (I've tried bringing someone else honest, but she gets the hump) but at the same time if for any reason it's a no..no.. in the opinion of the event organiser then so be it, whats the problem.
Interesting points made by all.
IMHO I'd not put my name down for a munch unless I was going with the Mrs........and even though the username is SXCouple, I'm the one who posts and who goes into the chatroom.
We were hoping to bring a lady friend along to the recent Yorks munch, as I was the DJ, to keep Mrs SX company, as she knows absolutely no-one (then again I know hardly anyone anyway). I approached the organiser's and they agreed. Unfortunately, our guest couldn't make it in the end, but does bring up an interesting scenario........
What if, she had "mis-behaved" or "offended" anyone there - we know her, she's a lovely girl and wouldn't say boo to a goose normally - however, would we then be held responsible - especially as I for one wouldn't be able to diffuse any "situation" that may have arose, as I would have been busy spinning the decks.....
Hmmm, food for though that one.
IMHO I'd not put my name down for a munch unless I was going with the Mrs........and even though the username is SXCouple, I'm the one who posts and who goes into the chatroom.
We were hoping to bring a lady friend along to the recent Yorks munch, as I was the DJ, to keep Mrs SX company, as she knows absolutely no-one (then again I know hardly anyone anyway). I approached the organiser's and they agreed. Unfortunately, our guest couldn't make it in the end, but does bring up an interesting scenario........
What if, she had "mis-behaved" or "offended" anyone there - we know her, she's a lovely girl and wouldn't say boo to a goose normally - however, would we then be held responsible - especially as I for one wouldn't be able to diffuse any "situation" that may have arose, as I would have been busy spinning the decks.....
Hmmm, food for though that one.
IMO i do not beleive +1 should be allowed to attend a SH munch regardless or whether they are with a relative new SH member or a long standing one.
Ok not everyone wants their names posted up on the forums for variety of reasons . To safeguard other members why not pm the munch organiser with
Please may I bring xxxxxx
they are xxxxxxx
i have known them xxxxx
If you are willing for them to attend could you please not post their names on the board. (or something along those lines)
Then the munch organiser can put on the board xxxx + (confirmed)1
That way munch organisers and those attending are safeguarded, security is no longer a problem, you can write the name tags to give out when they arrive etc etc.
If +1 is not a member and the munch organisers doesn't know who it is, as has been said before, it could be a banned member, journalist, general trouble maker.
I really appreciated it when I received my first invite and my hubby was allowed to attend as well even thou' he was not a member and as davej has said, i don't presume that I or hubby will get an invite even thou' I am a more regular member.
kaz xx
Ok not everyone wants their names posted up on the forums for variety of reasons . To safeguard other members why not pm the munch organiser with
Please may I bring xxxxxx
they are xxxxxxx
i have known them xxxxx
If you are willing for them to attend could you please not post their names on the board. (or something along those lines)
Then the munch organiser can put on the board xxxx + (confirmed)1
That way munch organisers and those attending are safeguarded, security is no longer a problem, you can write the name tags to give out when they arrive etc etc.
If +1 is not a member and the munch organisers doesn't know who it is, as has been said before, it could be a banned member, journalist, general trouble maker.
I really appreciated it when I received my first invite and my hubby was allowed to attend as well even thou' he was not a member and as davej has said, i don't presume that I or hubby will get an invite even thou' I am a more regular member.
kaz xx
