a single person in thier thirties who is very happy with thier life but gets fed up with people thinking there is something wrong with you because you have not settled down & have a nice semi/three kids & holidays in Spain every yesr...People just assume you are lonely & then start to try to arrange dinner parties/blind dates ....This is my choice...I have had the chance to settle & did not & am bloody glad I did not now. I have nothing against the "norm" but there is sometimes such pressure to be a couple...
I look around at times, see a few of my friends who have married early, have children & are trapped & miserable & they say " I envy your freedom"...
Although..I am not saying I want to stay single and be an old spinster but I will not settle for 2nd best & for the sake of it. !! Just not met him yet but hopefully one day..
Sorry, just a rant on a friday morning...( i got my reasons)...
Jaine x
:twisted:
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Jaine,
I'm not single but my sister is and she's in her early thirties. She lives alone with her two cats and people do that to her all the time as well. She's perfectly happy with the way her life is but some people feel pity for no reason at all.
Why does everyone think that you have to be in a relationship to be happy?
I'm not single but my sister is and she's in her early thirties. She lives alone with her two cats and people do that to her all the time as well. She's perfectly happy with the way her life is but some people feel pity for no reason at all.
Why does everyone think that you have to be in a relationship to be happy?
Ditto to Blue Eyes really.
I have a friend - she is 32, happily single, very pretty, plays rugby at a high level, likes men etc She gets a bit of a hard time from parents and so called friends all the time.
I guess as a society, we are preconditioned from a very early age what is "normal" and what is "abnormal".
It is down to one thing - be happy, if you are happy nothing else matters as long as you are not hurting anyone else along the way.
People who bug you 'bout being single and in your 30s (or any age), are the ones with the miserable lives.
So be
Yoss
I have a friend - she is 32, happily single, very pretty, plays rugby at a high level, likes men etc She gets a bit of a hard time from parents and so called friends all the time.
I guess as a society, we are preconditioned from a very early age what is "normal" and what is "abnormal".
It is down to one thing - be happy, if you are happy nothing else matters as long as you are not hurting anyone else along the way.
People who bug you 'bout being single and in your 30s (or any age), are the ones with the miserable lives.
So be
Yoss
jaine
you are right there is nothing wrong with your chioce, Myself and MrsFc started our famliy young, and our kid's are virtually off our hands now. We are now 40 &44 and find we are starting to enjoy life in our own right, we are know starting to discover new experiences, like being here, travelling without worrying about babysitters. I do not regret starting a family and our kids have given us years of joy(and sorrow), but I see Guy's at work who are in their fifty's and still have a vey young family and are very restricted.
No i'm glad I did it when we did but if I had my life over again and knew then what I know now(about life) I think I may have stayed single and travelled more and generally, had more life experiences. MrsFc is my soulmate and best friend but you don't need to be married to have best friend's
you are right there is nothing wrong with your chioce, Myself and MrsFc started our famliy young, and our kid's are virtually off our hands now. We are now 40 &44 and find we are starting to enjoy life in our own right, we are know starting to discover new experiences, like being here, travelling without worrying about babysitters. I do not regret starting a family and our kids have given us years of joy(and sorrow), but I see Guy's at work who are in their fifty's and still have a vey young family and are very restricted.
No i'm glad I did it when we did but if I had my life over again and knew then what I know now(about life) I think I may have stayed single and travelled more and generally, had more life experiences. MrsFc is my soulmate and best friend but you don't need to be married to have best friend's
Ah Moist we are so subconciously conditioned that we make judgements on generalisations and these get reinforced by our own experiences . We then imagine that others should share what we enjoy....after all we know best ...don't we.
Thankfully we are all individuals and the spectrum of diversity is so gloriously colourful whichever viewpoint you observe from .
We should learn to celebrate that which is different and rejoice in the opportunities it presents.
Forgive those that try to control and change your life they do so from the best of intentions ....so smile sweetly as you politely tell them to mind their own fu**ing buiness!!
Thankfully we are all individuals and the spectrum of diversity is so gloriously colourful whichever viewpoint you observe from .
We should learn to celebrate that which is different and rejoice in the opportunities it presents.
Forgive those that try to control and change your life they do so from the best of intentions ....so smile sweetly as you politely tell them to mind their own fu**ing buiness!!
Superb people on here ....yuo just all keep on surprising me...another thing though please?? mainly to the guys..
Can u explain to me why 'some' of you only are interested in us when we act hard to get...you pursue us like demons but as soon as we turn around & show interest your tails go between your legs & you head off in the opposite direction quicker than my lurchers..I thought I had met a promising bloke (on SH) but was a bit unsure & he could not do enough to get my attention..phone calls, texts, e mails the lot..I though "aww bless time to give the guy a break" & I actually quite liked him but as soon as I told him he backed off at 100mph...I give up, I really do. At my age I dont really expect to play games like this!!
Can u explain to me why 'some' of you only are interested in us when we act hard to get...you pursue us like demons but as soon as we turn around & show interest your tails go between your legs & you head off in the opposite direction quicker than my lurchers..I thought I had met a promising bloke (on SH) but was a bit unsure & he could not do enough to get my attention..phone calls, texts, e mails the lot..I though "aww bless time to give the guy a break" & I actually quite liked him but as soon as I told him he backed off at 100mph...I give up, I really do. At my age I dont really expect to play games like this!!
Quote by Moist
..I though "aww bless time to give the guy a break" & I actually quite liked him but as soon as I told him he backed off at 100mph...I give up, I really do. !!
Moist I think it was because :=-
a) He was married(discreetly)
b) The older you get the more scary relationships get ...2nd thougts
c) Your Psychobitch icon made his balls disappear...lol
Hey Moist friend...
peeps are all different... I lived alone in a remote crofters cottage in Caitness for almost five years.... cos I was a single male in my late 20s, it was assumed by the local , both the kids and the adults that I was either gay, or some sort of pervert. most peeps up there seem to be married off by early 20s or there is somethng wrong, but I just knew that I had not found the right person.
Sometimes I tended to dwell on the situation a lot and wonder if the right person was out there...... but right people tend to fall over each other rather than be found by those seeking them... I certainly did not expect to find my right person after I had come back from a funeral of three firends killed in a tragic RTA, but I did, and recognition did not take long....
don't get me wrong ...sometimes I think are we still right... but that is where commitment through the bad times as well as the good times comes in..
When I was Single and living alone I used to write to loads of peeps , both male and female... this was before email and internet remember,
sometimes I woud be writing dozens of letter per week, they were good times, but what saddened me was the facxt that as soon as peeps got married they allowed the friendship/correspondence lapse
Why is it that peeps cannot be friends as males and females without there having to be something physical....it really does bug me.... why if I, as a partnered bloke, become mates with a female ( be she partnered or not) do some peeps frown upon the relationship, can we not be mates without the need to get into each others underwhere?GGGGRRRRRRR
Moist
may you find that for which you search.... may you realise what you are looking for.... and may that person be walking along the road frome Essex to Herts, admiring your car and then be bowled over by your good self....
Be who you are, do not sway with the breeze and certainly do not be bullied by those that would change you....
Enjoy friends ( in which ever way you and they are comfortable to enjoy yourselves)
and when you find friends stick to them like glue ... value them, but if they do not value you allow them to drift away as they surely will, dust off you shoes and start again.... certainly my mates now are very diff from 20 odd years ago, but some very close friends are still around.... even if we do not see each other often.... true friendships are those where a break of years seems as yesterday.... Mosit may you gain and devleop such friendships...
hugz
Gmanxxxxxx
peeps are all different... I lived alone in a remote crofters cottage in Caitness for almost five years.... cos I was a single male in my late 20s, it was assumed by the local , both the kids and the adults that I was either gay, or some sort of pervert. most peeps up there seem to be married off by early 20s or there is somethng wrong, but I just knew that I had not found the right person.
Sometimes I tended to dwell on the situation a lot and wonder if the right person was out there...... but right people tend to fall over each other rather than be found by those seeking them... I certainly did not expect to find my right person after I had come back from a funeral of three firends killed in a tragic RTA, but I did, and recognition did not take long....
don't get me wrong ...sometimes I think are we still right... but that is where commitment through the bad times as well as the good times comes in..
When I was Single and living alone I used to write to loads of peeps , both male and female... this was before email and internet remember,
sometimes I woud be writing dozens of letter per week, they were good times, but what saddened me was the facxt that as soon as peeps got married they allowed the friendship/correspondence lapse
Why is it that peeps cannot be friends as males and females without there having to be something physical....it really does bug me.... why if I, as a partnered bloke, become mates with a female ( be she partnered or not) do some peeps frown upon the relationship, can we not be mates without the need to get into each others underwhere?GGGGRRRRRRR
Moist
may you find that for which you search.... may you realise what you are looking for.... and may that person be walking along the road frome Essex to Herts, admiring your car and then be bowled over by your good self....
Be who you are, do not sway with the breeze and certainly do not be bullied by those that would change you....
Enjoy friends ( in which ever way you and they are comfortable to enjoy yourselves)
and when you find friends stick to them like glue ... value them, but if they do not value you allow them to drift away as they surely will, dust off you shoes and start again.... certainly my mates now are very diff from 20 odd years ago, but some very close friends are still around.... even if we do not see each other often.... true friendships are those where a break of years seems as yesterday.... Mosit may you gain and devleop such friendships...
hugz
Gmanxxxxxx
Sex God
Thirty something? Yes. Chronic singleness? Yes. Happy with life? Very. Fed up with people trying to give me kids and holidays in Spain? No. Even my parents have given up on me (I think they're secretly happy that they'll never have grandchildren). I love being able to vanish for a weekend (or a week) and not tell anyone. I love being completely irresponsible with my money, and not have to come home to glares and waving credit card bills. I like being single.
Quicky changing subject: Why do men chase and then run away? I don't know what his reasons are (I was worried you were talking about me for a moment), but I have a tiny bit of insight into the male mind. Flirting is fun. Chasing is fun. It's more fun if you know that you'll never catch them - you get to say all the things you'd never dare say if there was a chance your bluff would be called.
I enjoy it too, but I try not to make promises that I'm not prepared to keep. That's why there's a rabbit costume in my bedroom.
Quicky changing subject: Why do men chase and then run away? I don't know what his reasons are (I was worried you were talking about me for a moment), but I have a tiny bit of insight into the male mind. Flirting is fun. Chasing is fun. It's more fun if you know that you'll never catch them - you get to say all the things you'd never dare say if there was a chance your bluff would be called.
I enjoy it too, but I try not to make promises that I'm not prepared to keep. That's why there's a rabbit costume in my bedroom.
Master of Sex
Moist, I can relate to this!
I'm 31, and in the last few years have had to watch my brother, followed by my cousins, all get married off to their various spouses. I even have a Christening to go this weekend.
I hate these occassions - I get the constant "it'll be your time next" practically every 5 minutes, even though I'm happy being single. I've even had (not very discreetely either) people saying "Are you gay?" because I'm now into my thirties and not married. my brother's Mother-in-Law has even joined the chorus, although WTF it has to do with her is anybody's guess.
I'm happy being single. I'm happy with my life. Shame others can't be.
I'm 31, and in the last few years have had to watch my brother, followed by my cousins, all get married off to their various spouses. I even have a Christening to go this weekend.
I hate these occassions - I get the constant "it'll be your time next" practically every 5 minutes, even though I'm happy being single. I've even had (not very discreetely either) people saying "Are you gay?" because I'm now into my thirties and not married. my brother's Mother-in-Law has even joined the chorus, although WTF it has to do with her is anybody's guess.
I'm happy being single. I'm happy with my life. Shame others can't be.
Hi Moist,
I think others have covered more eloquently why you should follow your heart, not the pressures of the world, so I shall leave you with their good advice. As to why men run away, well it's one of those things, and not just men. My other half loves sex, but hates to think about it, wants me right up to the point I want her, you see the pattern...
I suppose it is the way some of people are wired, fantasy drives them, but reality scares.
I think others have covered more eloquently why you should follow your heart, not the pressures of the world, so I shall leave you with their good advice. As to why men run away, well it's one of those things, and not just men. My other half loves sex, but hates to think about it, wants me right up to the point I want her, you see the pattern...
I suppose it is the way some of people are wired, fantasy drives them, but reality scares.
Sex God
Hey ALL !!! WE all need friends whether we need them as partners or a friend ,when indeed we need them , Hope they are there for us. I know .......... MrFC is always there for me. My best friend and lover! I would not usually say ............. as im quite resevered I do value good friends. I can count my friends on one hand at the mo .
Orgasminator
OK, bare my soul time.
I am a single, str8 male but way past 30. 47 and counting. Most people think there's something wrong with me because I never married.
Would I have liked to have settled down and had children? Truthfully, yes.
By not settling down have I missed out on something? I don't know. I spent the first part of my life in a whirlwind of travel and meeting people. It was fantastic fun and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
For the last 15-20 years I've spent most of my time working all the hours God sends. Again something I've thoroughly enjoyed. But I never noticed life was passing me by as I was having fun.
Recently I've decided its time to settle down, the only problem is who wants to settle down with someone in their late 40's who's seen it, done it, got the T-shirt, bought the video and eaten the cast?
I've not lived with someone for over 15 years so it would take a huge mind shift on my part just to have someone in the house on a permanent basis. Having been part of the "scene" in the Hotels I worked in, I believe a similar lifestyle outside of hotels is what would suit me best. I would like to have a few select friends (couples and single females) who I could visit, or they could visit me for a weekend or holiday.
That is my ideal. Whether it will come about, I don't know.
Although I would never stand someone up, that's just too discourteous to even contemplate, I can understand why single males get a little wary when you ladies show an interest. Its the fear of losing their freedom and having to change their day to day lifestyle. That's my belief.
There you have it Jaine an older, single male's view. Well certainly this older, single male's view.
:/Edit: Having just reread this post, it sounds like an ad. Sorry, it wasn't meant to. It is supposed to my thoughts on being older and single.
I am a single, str8 male but way past 30. 47 and counting. Most people think there's something wrong with me because I never married.
Would I have liked to have settled down and had children? Truthfully, yes.
By not settling down have I missed out on something? I don't know. I spent the first part of my life in a whirlwind of travel and meeting people. It was fantastic fun and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
For the last 15-20 years I've spent most of my time working all the hours God sends. Again something I've thoroughly enjoyed. But I never noticed life was passing me by as I was having fun.
Recently I've decided its time to settle down, the only problem is who wants to settle down with someone in their late 40's who's seen it, done it, got the T-shirt, bought the video and eaten the cast?
I've not lived with someone for over 15 years so it would take a huge mind shift on my part just to have someone in the house on a permanent basis. Having been part of the "scene" in the Hotels I worked in, I believe a similar lifestyle outside of hotels is what would suit me best. I would like to have a few select friends (couples and single females) who I could visit, or they could visit me for a weekend or holiday.
That is my ideal. Whether it will come about, I don't know.
Although I would never stand someone up, that's just too discourteous to even contemplate, I can understand why single males get a little wary when you ladies show an interest. Its the fear of losing their freedom and having to change their day to day lifestyle. That's my belief.
There you have it Jaine an older, single male's view. Well certainly this older, single male's view.
:/Edit: Having just reread this post, it sounds like an ad. Sorry, it wasn't meant to. It is supposed to my thoughts on being older and single.
Orgasminator
Driving to a friend's last night I thought of another reason why single males could get a little wary or even chciken out when the time comes...
Fear of not being able to live up to expectations or, in other words, the fear of failure.
Again just a thought.
Fear of not being able to live up to expectations or, in other words, the fear of failure.
Again just a thought.
Quote by MoistThink I can add myself to that list ~ thing with me is my attention span. I get into a relationship and start to itch, want my freedom and to do my own thing but am restricted by commitment, I'm also very fussy about who I make sacrifices for, sex is one thing, having someone around full time is totally different. For some reason though if I tell people I haven't got kids or settled I start to feel edgy ~ like I'm about to be judged for it or something.
a single person in thier thirties who is very happy with thier life but gets fed up with people thinking there is something wrong with you because you have not settled down & have a nice semi/three kids & holidays in Spain every yesr...People just assume you are lonely & then start to try to arrange dinner parties/blind dates ....This is my choice...I have had the chance to settle & did not & am bloody glad I did not now. I have nothing against the "norm" but there is sometimes such pressure to be a couple...
I look around at times, see a few of my friends who have married early, have children & are trapped & miserable & they say " I envy your freedom"...
Although..I am not saying I want to stay single and be an old spinster but I will not settle for 2nd best & for the sake of it. !! Just not met him yet but hopefully one day..
Sorry, just a rant on a friday morning...( i got my reasons)...
Jaine x
:twisted:
Orgasminator
Quote by sickpuppy
For some reason though if I tell people I haven't got kids or settled I start to feel edgy ~ like I'm about to be judged for it or something.
I can relate to that
