There used to be a guy on the site called Davej, I think? Nice fella - kept talking out of his arse though!
He hasn't picked my PM up either.....
I think we definately send out a search party...
Shireen
xxx
'Virgil calling International Rescue: are you there father?'
'Virgil, this is International Rescue: thank God you are alive! What happened?'
'It was awful father, Scott and I landed on the********* Peninsular as agreed, and contacted the local leader. We told him we had come on a vital mission to return 'The Strange One' to his people. We said that his friends were distraught and that the future of civilisation depended upon getting Dave J back to his homeland where he could minister to the PM's ailing Unicorn-(you know, the one on the Royal Standard?).
'And, did he agree Virgil?'
'No father, he went white, got really angry, and said that his country's entire Goldfish population had been reduced to 'westernised pimps' by Mr J. Apparently, the leader had spent years getting his army to train them as drugs mules-who would frisk a Goldfish??-but this stranger had persuaded the entire Goldfish population that ironing was their divine vocation. He had us thrown in jail father!'
'Good God , Virgil! How did you escape?'
'Well father', it was all down to Parker. Apparently he is a member of some internet 'Swinging Site' ( calls himself 'No Strings Sex'-which would seem a bit difficult for a puppet don't you think father?) Anyway, he was attending the local ********* Munch-whatever that is-and found himself in a compromising situation with the Gaoler, The Leader, the Dagenham Girls' Pipe Band and someone called Noelfrom Reeds-or at least I think that's what he said...anyway, he was able to apply some 'pressure' and the Gaoler let us go....'
'Thank God Virgil....but what about DaveJ?
'Well, that's the funny thing father, everyone I asked about him went very quiet and pointed to little wax dolls attached to their doorposts. They then fell on their knees, wrung a chicken's neck and started babbling some ancient curse!! It was scary father!!'
'Well , you get Thunderbirds One and Two home as soon as you can Virgil......we'll have to think some more about how to get Dave home...and Virgil, The Dagenham Girls' Pipe Band....they didn't mention ....ahem....my name did they?'
'No father, but they did mention someone called 'Ernest'...'The devil with the Four Eyes and Three Stripes'.... but I haven't a clue what they meant. To be honest I was glad to leave...all those spooky children with thick glasses saying 'C'mon, c'mon, c'mon....they scared me father.....'
'OK Virgil, head back to Tracy Island.
F.A.B.'
OMG - Parker!!!!!!!
Get the Rolls out immediately!!!!!
I need to get to the off-licence and get some of what Agricola is drinking!
F.A.B Mi-Lady!
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
OMG Agricola you made me piss my pants then!!.... :shock:
Shireen
xxx
International Rescue? Agricola you're having a giraffe mate!
i had them International Rescue once, following a hispeed blow out on the M62 while travelling hurriedly in a Northwesterly direction!
well, it was good of 'em to stop 3 lanes of traffic and haul us back from the edge of the cliffy thing we we're teetering over, you know, a bit like Thunderbird 2 did with the petrol tanker that time, but they hauled the car off into that thing that drops down with the submarine in, then just dropped us at the local service station, and adios! well what kind of rescue's that eh? it was rubbish! we had to walk back over that footbridge thing and thumb a lift back to leeds! off me mum! and £40 a year for all that!
<<< tuts >>>
neil x x x ;)
Breaker, breaker, this is Dubber Ruck, c'mon?'
'10/4 Good Buddy, hearin' ya loud n'clear. Yer old buddy Cabover Pete here. Hammer's to the floor and I'm blowin' smoke!! Jeez we covered some miles t'day!! What gives pardner?'
'Aw, hi there Pete, I was just a wonderin' , see, I picked up a guy bummin' a ride a whiles back, a Limey, talked real weird. Found him out in the desert, tryin' t' suck juice out of a cactus. Hell, he was drier than rattlesnake shit, couldn't have drunk nothin' fer days. I gave him a drink o' water and let him ride with me fer a spell, figured the air-con would do him good. Well, he didn't say too much, just kept a mumblin' and looking at a picture he had of a mountain, seemed real intense like he was on some drug shit or somethin'. Anyways , I kep on a talkin' to him, he had me sort o' spooked, but I figured he was pretty harmless, just a stirrup short of a full saddle, ya know?. Said his name was Dave and that he had to 'make the rendevouz point' before his kinfolk went back home.'
'Hell, Ruck, you shoulda got the Poleece, he coulda been a terrorist or somethin'! Man, that's weird shit!'
'Yeah, I thought about that Pete, but he didn't look like he was about to terrorize much 'cept hisself. Jeez , he was twitchier n' a tick on a bull's balls. kept stickin 'his head out of the window and looking up, said he was looking for 'the lights'. Lord a'mighty , I pretty soon had enough o' this mad limey sonofabitch. I hit the brakes pretty hard and the rig stopped plum on a bend. I was about to throw the little out when I noticed a mountain out in the desert, just like the one the limey had a drawin' of! ....'
'Hell's burning fires Ruck! What next?
' Well, I cut the motor and was about to ask him what the Sam Hill he was a 'playin 'at, when I heard this weird music-just a few notes being repeated over an' over! Pete, ma blood froze in ma body! I was plum scared. Anyways, limey Dave starts laughin' like a coyote in a war zone , leaps out o the rig and starts a runnin', hell fer leather fer this mountain, shouting fer...well, I SWEAR...he shouted fer his Ma an' Pa. I watched him scramble up the rock towards this weird music shit...then there was all kind a lights ...an' noise.....an' I swear I saw somethin flash across the sky towards this rock ...an 'then.....zippo. It all went quiet as a witch's baptism party.'
'Hell Ruck, you just GOTTA get the Poleece-he must a' bin some sorta nutcase. You sure he aint done robbed you Buddy?'
'Nope, I'm sure he aint robbed me, but I sure as hell aint sure o' much else no more....'
Agricola!!!!
You owe me for a PC cleaning bil!!!!!!
Coffe in keyboard now!!!!!!