Is it alright to pay for it ?

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Philfuller
Wow! Thanks for all those supportive replies. It sounds as though it would be/will be/is ok to proceed ...
eerrrr :?

Of course it's ok. Consenting adults and all that!
biggrin

:D :D

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Dawnie

Anyway, we used to know a "lady of the night" and she was a very nice lass, clean, respectable and just the same as "you" and "me"

You say that as if a person that earns a living from having sex with others couldbe different from the average person in the street.
Why would she be any different to you and I?
Interesting question Dawnie, but I'll come back to that in a minute.
Over the last few months, for one reason and another, I've had my eyes opened to the sex industry in this country and I will admit that my initial view was very much media/low-end of the social spectrum (ie street girls) led. Now, however I can understand that a large number of people who do this are just after making a lot of easy money. Nothing more, nothing less.
Here comes your bit Dawnie..... ;)
I feel it does take someone of a very certain type of mind-set to do this work though and I do ask if it's a chicken or egg type situation in so much as does this trade attract people of a certain frame of mind, or does it alter their personality and impact on their everyday actions and choices at both a conscious and a subconscious level to alter their frame of mind into a place where they can do their chosen job?
I guess that one has to be taken on a case by case basis, plus after re-reading it I realise that it's nature vs nurture and that I know that it's a wrong assumption to make that it has to be either one or the other, because both play a part.
My counter-argument would be that sex by it's very nature is an intimate part of life and this isn't helped by the psudo-Victorian upbringing and moral standards that are drummed into a lot of the population, so is it possible for someone to do this job and not be affected by it in other parts of their lives?
If the answers is yes, then why don't more people work? Or maybe there are more people working, but they just don't discuss that they do, so why is that?
Now one for those in a relationship, and I understand by the nature of the site and the answers that have gone before I may get a different view that that offered by the general population, but.....
would you be happy with your partner "working" on a long-term basis?
Can I ask that if anyone wants to answer that one can they think not just about their own perspective, but how they think their vanilla friends and family would react to the news that you were with someone who "worked" as well.
I think it's only fair to answer the last question I posed, even though my current situation doesn't meet the criteria.
If you'd have asked me 18 months ago I'd have been horrified at the thought.
Now I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't bother me because as others have said and I now understand, it's just a job, but I would be concerned about the effects of the person working on their performance when function in everyday, "normal" psycho-social situations such as relationships with non-working peers, parents and partners. Not saying that they couldn't, just that their experiences may have some influence on their non-working lives.
I guess that notion could be levelled at someone I was seeing in a high-stress job though and arguably that may have worse short-term effect. confused

Oh I give up... I'm going for a :beer: :lol2:

13 Sep 2007

Quote by bbw_lover
This also applies when approaching a woman for a more lasting relationship. If you expect to have sex then you have to spend a lot of money on her first before you can expect to get anything in return.
Paying for it up front merely cuts out all the preamble.

Sorry to cut your post, BBW, and I agree with most of what you say,and I know it's a side issue - but I have to say I was :shock: with this bit!
Or am I reading it wrong?
I'd be appalled if I thought that a man I was anticipating a relationship with, thought that.

13 Sep 2007

I would have no problem paying for it, if I had the need.
I pay other people to do things to make me feel better - make me a meal in a resaurant, wash and cut my hair, massage and manicure me - so I don't see any difference at all.

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Cherrytree

This also applies when approaching a woman for a more lasting relationship. If you expect to have sex then you have to spend a lot of money on her first before you can expect to get anything in return.
Paying for it up front merely cuts out all the preamble.

Sorry to cut your post, BBW, and I agree with most of what you say,and I know it's a side issue - but I have to say I was :shock: with this bit!
Or am I reading it wrong?
I'd be appalled if I thought that a man I was anticipating a relationship with, thought that.
Sadly I think this is a common perception, and the woman normally expects the man to put some effort into it.
A lot of men quietly feel agrieved if money is spent for 'no return', but this is because men are generally the active partner in this and women the more passive.
Of course I am generalising, but they are comments I've heard from my male friends and colleagues.
sad

13 Sep 2007

If its something you want to do then go for it i say!
However it wouldn't be for me, the reason i say this is sex is more than just getting your rocks off (pardon the pun) I like lots of kissing and intimacy, I'd assume all this would be lacking and only one person would be doing it for pleasure, the other would just be doing their job.

13 Sep 2007

Looking at it from a different angle.
1st girl comes home in the morning and says to her mother......I've been turning tricks behind the bus station for £10 a go, made £100, now I buy new clothes for the kid.
2nd girl comes home in the morning and says to her mother.......was in a nightclub last night, Russian billionaire wouldn't leave me alone, offered me £1,000,000 to sleep with him, now I'm made for life.
Which one is the prostitute? Which one would society condem?
John

13 Sep 2007

We pay for evrything one way or another no matter how you analise it so yeah cut to the chase and do it direct i would if i felt i needed to.

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Philfuller
Or is it alright to pay for it at any time anyway?

Of course it is, men (and women) of all different ages use the services of working girls for a number of different reasons, whether that be the business man who wants a bit of company one evening whilst he's away from home, a single bloke who just wants some no strings fun, with no worries that the girls not going to then start calling him all the time declaring her undying love, or someone who just wants someone who understands his needs and wants, and is there to pamper him for an hour or seven. biggrin

It doesn't matter who they are or what their reasons for doing it are, and quite frankly it's no ones business but their owns.
As for if it's right for you only you can answer that. If you decide it's an avenue that you want to explore, then do a bit of research and find a good local agency or parlour, call them up and explain your situation and what you are looking for in a girl, they should be able to suggest a few who you would get on with and hopefully have a fabulous time with cool

Remember it's ok to let them know it's your first time and what your concerns are, that way they will suggest girls to you who will be understanding. Have a chat with the girl on the phone first to check that you think you will get on and explain to her what you are looking for and if there's anything that you'd really like to happen.
Whatever you decide, if you go ahead, I hope you have a bloody good time. you never know you might find someone who you really get on with and it could become a regular thing for you.....if not you can have fun trying out different girls:twisted:
One thing to remember though it that the best girls will go where they earn the most money, and it's very much an industry where the girls pick where they work rather than the agency/parlour owners picking the girls, so I wouldn't recommend trying to cut corners on costs if you can avoid it.

Quote by Dawnie
Make it legal, give good health cover, suitable conditions and pay for it all you like :thumbup:

Only quoted you Dawnie as you were the first one to say it, but prostitution is not illegal, only soliciting. I may be cynical, but when I hear politician's going on about banging on about legalising things to protect the girls on the street etc, it's actually because they know that the girls at the top end of the market are earning good money and very few of them declare their earnings, so they are missing out on a big wad of revenue......as I said, probably just me being cynical :lol2:
Health cover is there for those that want it...if you ever ring up your local GUM clinic for an appointment and they tell you there's awaiting list.....try ringing them back a bit later and tell them that you're a hooker......generally they'll then see you that day or the next....ok this may not be the case everywhere but it's just an example. smile

Quote by Dawnie
Just as an after thought, I was looking at this from the male point because that is what Philfuller is but would any female here pay for sex from a male?

Good question......I don't think I would pay for it myself, as FB said I have a vibrator for if I need that :lol2: and I don't think I'd do it just to go somewhere, ie. in the true escort sense, not sure why really but partly because, friends, family and colleagues would be a bit surprised as to where this mystery bloke has popped up from and I'm a crap liar anyway :lol2:
For some reason it seems to appear that women don't pay for it whilst men do.......is that because men have stronger urges, or is it just that it is more accepted within society for men to use hookers whilst women haven't got to that point yet. Or maybe it's because it's so much more readily available to men (if you don't believe me have a look in your local paper for massage parlours and you'll probably find there are a few in places that you pass everyday) and that women have to go to more effort to arrange something?
Anyway enough rambling from me, whatever you decide Phil, I hope you have fun and enjoy yourself :thumbup:

13 Sep 2007

We would pay for it.....a nice lady to join us.
But we are looking for fun as long as we all enjoy it I don't see a problem. Although the best times we have had is when we have not paid.

13 Sep 2007

Quote by cpl4fun6
We would pay for it.....a nice lady to join us.
But we are looking for fun as long as we all enjoy it I don't see a problem. Although the best times we have had is when we have not paid.

That raises an interesting point...Imagine you've taken your wife to a good hotel, you book a female massure to come to your room for a bona-fide massage for your wife. Then the female massure (sp?) started touching her in a sexual way.
They start getting it on together, is that paying for it? Even if no more money is asked for.
OR the massure asks for money but your wife says please pay her, I'm so turned on?
John & Shel

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
We would pay for it.....a nice lady to join us.
But we are looking for fun as long as we all enjoy it I don't see a problem. Although the best times we have had is when we have not paid.

That raises an interesting point...Imagine you've taken your wife to a good hotel, you book a female massure to come to your room for a bona-fide massage for your wife. Then the female massure (sp?) started touching her in a sexual way.
They start getting it on together, is that paying for it? Even if no more money is asked for.
OR the massure asks for money but your wife says please pay her, I'm so turned on?
John & Shel
Intresting.
Very intresting idea! ( what.. no scratch head emotion? )
Tony wink

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
We would pay for it.....a nice lady to join us.
But we are looking for fun as long as we all enjoy it I don't see a problem. Although the best times we have had is when we have not paid.

That raises an interesting point...Imagine you've taken your wife to a good hotel, you book a female massure to come to your room for a bona-fide massage for your wife. Then the female massure (sp?) started touching her in a sexual way.
They start getting it on together, is that paying for it? Even if no more money is asked for.
OR the massure asks for money but your wife says please pay her, I'm so turned on?
John & Shel
So interesting I'm getting a hard on.....
if wifey asks me to pay her.......I pay
then sit back and watch...........
with luck they'll ask me t goin in

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
We would pay for it.....a nice lady to join us.
But we are looking for fun as long as we all enjoy it I don't see a problem. Although the best times we have had is when we have not paid.

That raises an interesting point...Imagine you've taken your wife to a good hotel, you book a female massure to come to your room for a bona-fide massage for your wife. Then the female massure (sp?) started touching her in a sexual way.
They start getting it on together, is that paying for it? Even if no more money is asked for.
OR the massure asks for money but your wife says please pay her, I'm so turned on?
John & Shel
Is this something that has actually happened to you......or just in your own mind?
I'm sure that most professional masseuse would be horrified by your suggestion that they would start to touch your wife sexually.
In answer to your question.....if they didn't ask for anymore money.....no you weren't paying for it, you were paying for a massage and any other 'options' are being given for free.....if they do ask for more money.....then yes you are paying for it.

13 Sep 2007

Just a little twist to this, some men get turned on by paying for sex, its a control thing i guess,also some men dont want actual sex, just contact from a female, something thats lacking at home xj

13 Sep 2007

if someone wants to pay me for sex
so be it................... biggrin

13 Sep 2007

Quote by markz
if someone wants to pay me for sex
so be it...................

20p and a half chewed humbug do ya ?
splendid

13 Sep 2007

Quote by easy
Here comes your bit Dawnie..... ;)
{snip}
would you be happy with your partner "working" on a long-term basis?

Sorry easy, I'm too tired to make a long reply but I did want to answer this bit I've quoted although I don't think I know the answer confused

I've been married so long that I haven't had to put myself in a situation where I have to consider my partner being a paid sex worker. Ian swings alone when it suits us and I have no problem with that, but a full time job? I have no idea if that would work for me or not dunno

If I hadto say one way or another it would be no but probably for a different reason than the jealousy or opinion on a sex worker. I'd say no because I can be a demanding person in the bedroom and if he'd been 'working' all day I'd be well pissed if I could have what I wanted when I wanted it :twisted:

13 Sep 2007

Well Dawnie!!
You could always give a wee scots guy a call to stand in for Ian then, altho how would you know I was standing innocent

Woo

13 Sep 2007

Quote by poshkate
Only quoted you Dawnie as you were the first one to say it, but prostitution is not illegal, only soliciting. I may be cynical, but when I hear politician's going on about banging on about legalising things to protect the girls on the street etc, it's actually because they know that the girls at the top end of the market are earning good money and very few of them declare their earnings, so they are missing out on a big wad of revenue......as I said, probably just me being cynical :lol2:

You might be right about politician's PK but if anyone else that has a job has to pax taxes, why shouldn't a sex worker dunno

Quote by poshkate
Health cover is there for those that want it...if you ever ring up your local GUM clinic for an appointment and they tell you there's awaiting list.....try ringing them back a bit later and tell them that you're a hooker......generally they'll then see you that day or the next....ok this may not be the case everywhere but it's just an example.

There is some kind of ruling now which means anyone that rings a GUM clinic should be given an appintment within something like 48 hours. (I should has listened more at my uni lectures to know the exact details)
What I meant by health care though PK is proper health care that other workers get, payment when off sick type of stuff like any other worker would get, not just easier access to a GUM clinic.

Quote by poshkate
I don't think I would pay for it myself, as FB said I have a vibrator for if I need that :lol2: and I don't think I'd do it just to go somewhere, ie. in the true escort sense, not sure why really but partly because, friends, family and colleagues would be a bit surprised as to where this mystery bloke has popped up from and I'm a crap liar anyway :lol2:

I have been thinking about this since I asked the question confused

If I wasn't involved in swinging then I think I might be tempted to pay for sex. I do have toys and they would keep me amused for a while. I could even consider going to a normal bar and attempting to pull some lonely male. After a while I just think I might need a good hard fuck and if paying for it was the only option to get a seeing too when I needed it, I think I'd be bloody tempted :?

Quote by poshkate
For some reason it seems to appear that women don't pay for it whilst men do.......is that because men have stronger urges, or is it just that it is more accepted within society for men to use hookers whilst women haven't got to that point yet. Or maybe it's because it's so much more readily available to men (if you don't believe me have a look in your local paper for massage parlours and you'll probably find there are a few in places that you pass everyday) and that women have to go to more effort to arrange something?

Is it more based on the easy of access though :dunno:
Street corners, phone boxes, back pages of the papers and Ian even got propositioned in Safeways but for men, you just don't see it :dunno:
I've rarely seen a male advertising unless it is for gay sex :?
Please ignore any spelling misstakes or poor english, I have a migraine so the text is moving about for me tonight rolleyes

13 Sep 2007

Quote by woohoo
Well Dawnie!!
You could always give a wee scots guy a call to stand in for Ian then, altho how would you know I was standing
Woo

See, there was me really thinking hard to make a post that wasn't utter bollox for once and you've jumped in rolleyes

Come here and give me a snog short arse

assionkiss: :passionkiss:

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
That raises an interesting point...Imagine you've taken your wife to a good hotel, you book a female massure to come to your room for a bona-fide massage for your wife. Then the female massure (sp?) started touching her in a sexual way.
They start getting it on together, is that paying for it? Even if no more money is asked for.
OR the massure asks for money but your wife says please pay her, I'm so turned on?
John & Shel

Then you haven't hired a masseuse and to suggest that could happen, in my opinion, is wrong rolleyes

13 Sep 2007

hhhmmmmm . . . . interesting?
i would generally agree that if a woman chooses to exploit mens' sexual desires, and makes a good living from it, then fine, that's her choice. those who voluntarily enter into escort agency type careers, cos they make a good living and enjoy it, fine.
IMO though, they're in the minority. i'd say at the bottom end of the scale, the girls walking the streets are funding habits and raising kids the only way they know how. they are most often being preyed upon first by the men who use them, and second by the men who pimp them out. maybe their pimp also happens to be their dealer, cos dealers effectively become pimps, whether they intended it or not? confused

he's not likely to be a very nice man, and i wouldn't want to fund his lifestyle; a lifestyle that may well involve drugs, girls, and guns, in equal measure.
nor would i want to finance the people smugglers, who work girls' arses off in brothels, when they paid for a better life, but nevertheless have a debt that can only be paid by the worst kind of life imaginable, assuming it's not one they would otherwise have chosen.
thing is, how do you tell exactly who's lifestyle you're supporting? the girl, or the gangster? i would tend to boycott them all, just to be on the safe side?
neil x x x ;)

13 Sep 2007

Yeah of course it's okay to pay for it.... You are both consenting adults so why not?? dunno

They legalised it in Australia and I am told that the brothels there are fabulous... I wish I had had the nerve to go to one when I lived there redface

:lol2:

13 Sep 2007

I've been paying for it for years rolleyes

13 Sep 2007

Ya fooking credit ran out ages ago Mallock rolleyes

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Shireen
Ya fooking credit ran out ages ago Mallock

A blessing in disguise if ever there was one :lol2:

13 Sep 2007

:kick:
I am sure paying for it would be so much easier rolleyes

:giggle:

13 Sep 2007

Quote by Shireen
Ya fooking credit ran out ages ago Mallock

Thats why the concept of pay as you go was invented

13 Sep 2007

I have come to the conclusion that Essex4M likes having his arse spanked!!

:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: