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Is it bad to go on holiday without your kids?!

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Quote by VenusnMars
Am I a monster?!
Venusxxx

Not at all, just a very sensible adult that needs time to recharge batteries. I think you need time to your selves, and any way the kids would have two holidays.
John
smile
i think its a must for me and dino both to have holidays/weekends alone and also apart. I have just been to amsterdam, dublin and france with friends and i must say i came back feeling recharged ready for anything. And the same applies for dino.
This just doesnt apply to weekend etc, we try and give each other time and space when we feel we need it. Helps and improves our relationship. i advice to anyone.
Your children will appreciate it more because you come back a more refreshed parent. biggrin
Although there are no kids involved with me, I have trouble getting my mother to have time away without the grandchildren! She is just so willing to have the kids that sometimes I worry if she is doing too much.
We all love each other really though!!!!!
tbh the best 'holidays' i had as a kid were when my mum n dad went away i used to love that. you owe it to yourselves to have a break and theyll have a ball as well. theres probably some psychologist somewhere going ooh no, itll damage them and theyll hate you for it, but theyre kids and kids are harder than we think and they will have a great time in your absence.
do it
Well as I am sitting here with kids at grandparents (so we could see episode III) and I miss em like mad. Equally though I do the old anbulance thing to get away from everything, even them. We all have our pressure valves...
I know other people see less of their kids, some see more, kids and parents find a ballence that works for them. Just remember that anyone who pulls the 'in my day' routine kids were sent by those who could afford it to boreding school, or looked after by nannies. How is a few days away so bad??
We are hoping for a long weekend away soon, just the two of us now my job seems safe. I will miss them, but as others have said I am no good as a dad if I am stressed to hell, or dead from a stress induced heart attack...
Quote by KitKat
many kids find it reassuring that their parents actually want to spend time together.

Venus - you are certainly not bad. I agree with what Kat said. As a kid I would've love to be "dumped" on my grandparents, knowing that my parents were having some quality time together. It never happened.
Go for it!!!!
I know this may sound wrong - but maybe your mom is a bit jealous because becuase she never got the oportunity?
Oh and if you do go to Scotland - give the Laird a slap for me! Travelled South and never popped in. Pah!!! Call him a friend? evil
wink
aRSexx :color:
Venus.. I can only echo what everyone else has said. We were planning on leaving ours in september and a lot of people said that it was disgraceful to leave them so young.. but we wanted our honeymoon to be just the 2 of us. Plans have changed since however, as I can't figure out an easy way of taking a week off breastfeeding and still being able to return to it afterwards :cry:
Go for it.. have a great time and DON'T feel guilty!!!! biggrin (lucky cow!!)
Venus,
You and Mars are no monsters! The matter you raised is precisely one of the reasons E and myself don't want kids - but we are self-confessed monsters! :twisted:
As a kid the best holidays I remember were the ones where I got packed off to stay with Aunts and Uncles, often being plonked on a bus, train or aeroplane at one end of the journey by my mother and picked up at the other by my relatives (this was when I was 10 or 11 and my sister was a couple of years younger) and enjoying a couple of weeks away from parental rule (and most of my rellies, unlike my mother, had TV!) while my mother relaxed a bit (she had to bring us up on her own). My Grandparents lived close by as well and we saw them most days of the week and it was not at all unusual for us to stay overnight with them if my mother wanted a night out or had to be away for work.
As a kid this was fantastic! Of course we missed our mother but both my sister and I were able to establish good freindships with the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that we otherwise would never have been abe to do. Time away from parents, no matter how wonderful they are, is good for children (obviously in balance with having a good relationship with them at home) so your kids are not going to suffer. Your mother just sounds to be somewhat bitter and twisted - sorry to be so blunt. Why is it that families can give you more grief than the rest of the world when they should be there to support you?
Go and have a good holiday and don't work too hard before hand otherwise your children are much more likely to suffer if their mum is tired and frazzled after long hours at work.
H
what u have to remember here is your mother was bought up by parents who believe the man went to work and the woman stayed at home with the kids, cause everyone one of our granparents time believed that, BUT its 2005 now so i say leave the bratts lol
hey if your out of order for going away with out the kids my parents are monsters!!!!!!!!!! they have been away all in all about 10 times without me!!!! :cry: and twice of these times they went to the dominican republic!!!! how nasty!!! they go to whitby all the time always have i never really minded as even from a child id rather they go away without me n my brothers and have some romantic time together than them splitting up!!!.you need time to yourself!!!!! just because your parents it doesnt mean u carnt venture the world alone (without your children) dont feel guilty honey its fine!!!
i hope you have a lovely time!!!!
lou xxxx
oh and depending how old they are when my mum and dad went away they said to us "you can have parties, as long as its tidy when we get back, if anythings broken youll pay for it!" ni think thats fair doo's. she'd leave me £60 to last me the week i used to love it although having two older brothers lads wernt ever allowed around!!!! :cry:
when the kids are teenagers they will love it and feel some sense of responsability and trust and that carnt be too bad!!!!!!
lou xxx
The kids are 17, 14, 10. Obviously the 17 year old does her own thing, and the 14 year old sometimes makes her own arrangements (as long as I know what arrangements), but the 10 year old really needs responsible minding. Leaving him at home with the eldest is not an option.
Venusxxx
Quote by VenusnMars
The kids are 17, 14, 10. Obviously the 17 year old does her own thing, and the 14 year old sometimes makes her own arrangements (as long as I know what arrangements), but the 10 year old really needs responsible minding. Leaving him at home with the eldest is not an option.
Venusxxx

Just back from a long hard days slog.... bth cant be arsed to read the whole thread Venus :rascal: but dont know if its a sin not to take the kids but it certainly is if you dont take me and Calista.
:twisted: lol wink :twisted: :lol: :wink:
Quote by Vix
It's been years since I have had a weekend with my kids, let alone a holiday! Eugh, the very thought is curdling my cum.
Sunday night till Friday night is enough. Even that is hideously cutting into my social life.
Still, at 9 and 11, it'll not be long till they want to move out, will it? And if they don't, hell... they can be left alone to do their own thing from age 14, can't they?
Ah! But would I have not had them if I knew then what I know now? DAMN RIGHT!

Soooooooooooo maternal......... hang on, have you been talking to my mother? lol
I love my kids to death and miss them like hell when I'm away from them. However, if I didn't have my Saturdays and the occasional weekend to myself when their dad has them i would go crazy. I also have a week in the summer when they go to stay with my parents.
I work full time and when I have a week off work I often still take them to the childminders!
Sounds like I never see them! However, when we do have time together it is quality time. I take days off work specifically to be with them. A couple of times a month we have an evening out doing whatever they want, and Sundays are always just for me and my kids.
I may be just reiterating what others have said, but it is all about balance. You need time to be you as well as being a mum. Time when you and Mars can be a couple and enjoy the company of adult friends. smile
Lots of people on here seem to have similar issues - wonder if we should start an SH babysitting circle!! lol
oh dear, once again i find myself in the minority, maybe you shouldnt read what im about to write venus!!
As someone who is old enough to be a grandparendt - gentically (though im bloody thankfull noe of out 3 have decided to make us so) i disagree
I havnt got a problem with anyone wanting time away from their kids, it helps everyones realtionship, kids are demanding and time consuming. Yo bring them up correctly (as im sure Venuses kids are) takes imesurable energy and leaves you tired and drained. For that reason i would ask , are grandparents the best people to leave your kids with especially if they are reluctant or harbour any hesitant thoughts?
I would never have left mine with their grandparents, in fact i wouldnt have even asked. To escape we used to swoop the kids with friends - parents of children around the kids age or a childless cousin who loved having them!!
As a potential grandparent , i would run am ile if my kids tried to leave me with theirs for a week!! Sorry but ive spent over 20 years bringing them up, the mere thought is like a sentance to hell
Leave them with grandparents and you will hear about it for ever and ever!!!!!!
You're not a bad parent for wanting to do it Venus if you think it's right for you ..... personally it's not something I would've done when my children were younger. Thankfully mine are now older I can take time out for 'me', but would never have done it years ago.
I love my 3 to pieces as do my parents but i'd never have asked my parents to have them any longer than the odd night and then it was only ever one at a time.
Maybe it's just me then.
Quote by VenusnMars
Just finished a phonecall with my mum. I asked her if she was happy to have the kids in Termtime if Mars and I went on holiday for a week without the kids. I explained I would take them on a camping holiday first, but was keen to spend a week visiting SH friends with just Mars.
'I was asked 'what about the poor kids'
I asked her if she had actually heard me say that I'd take them camping first.
Was asked if I could afford two holidays.
I emphasised 'camping' and 'staying with friends' (as in not paying for flights, accomodation yadda yadda). Then I emphasised the fact I have a very stressful job, and was told 'As long as you stick with it' :huh:
Making my time off valuable is sticking with it.
Am I a monster?!
Venusxxx

I think wording your thread as 'holiday' does you a disservice because, in my eyes, it's not really a holiday but a break to go & visit friends.
What you do on that break is immaterial.
There could be many reasons you cannot take the kids, eg friends house far too small, etc, etc but this shouldn't prevent you from not keeping in contact with your friends or having a bit of extended quality time with your partner away from the lit'luns.
Would mum have them if it was for 1 or 2 nights to visit friends?
If so then why not 4 or 5 nights?
As long as kids & gran enjoy being with each other I can't see how you could be accused of being a monster.
Plus, this is just one tiny portion of parenthood. You might be brilliant or complete pants at the rest so wouldn't all of that come into play as well?
Not knowing you Venus I can't comment but if your kids are your world but you want one week off in 17 years then it's hardly time for everyone to start hailing "Shame on you".
I hope things are resolved to everyone's benefit & all have an enjoyable week.
Sorry, didn;t read more tha the first 15 or so posts, so not sure how young your kids are. Well I'll tell you that from a family of 6 kids (5 siblings), my aprents were always around, and I mean 365 days a year, 24/7. A dayam hard job, though it was practically my mother who did it all. I'd have loved them to have time together, partly for their sake, and also I never really knew what it was like to have some of my own growing time adn space without their presence. As a result, they've no idea how to go and enjoy themselves: they stay indoors all the time, b/c they're not used to being out and about for little day trips etc. Atleaste now they're able to go abroad to see other siblings for months at a time (yes months!), but mind you the brothers are a LONG way away.
Deal with the pangs of guilt, but it'll be interesting to see how the kids found the space when you return. It may make them appreciate you more as individuals. Ahhhhhh, kids, love them but can't eat a whole one. Are you're minkey monkeys? Anyway that's my input.
Hi Venus wave,
Well, I hope you have taken note of the obvious consensus here. Of course you are not a monster. I think it is very important for couples with kids to have time together without the little darlings constantly cramping your style. Sappho had a week away together last year, just the two of us, and loved every minute of it. The only problem was that it went too quickly.
Go for it and have a great time (if you happen to be going anywhere near Berkshire or Shropshire then be sure to let us know wink)
Will
Quote by willxx69
Hi Venus wave,
little darlings constantly cramping your style
Will

one day i`ll figure these quotes!!!!!!!!!!
our `little darlings` r bigger than us
and still cramping our style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote by secretmaccamslag
Anyway that's my input.

/hijack
dunno :dunno:
/end hijack
Quote by Alleyson
Anyway that's my input.

/hijack
dunno :dunno:
/end hijack
I was thinking just that, Alleyson :shock:
Venus, you aren't a monster. If you can have a break without the kids, it will do all of you good. Good luck to you. Is the job going well?
Quote by VenusnMars
Well I suppose it hits a nerve more so now I am working, often lates, nights and weekends meaning my time with them is limited anyway. It's not so much the break from the kids I need, but the opportunity to be able to let my hair down with friends, friends who all live too bloody far away!
Venusxxx

I don't have kids but I think it's perfectly normal for couples to want to have the occassional holiday or mini-break without the kids ... just as a couple. It's not like you're saying you only ever want holidays without the kids is it?
You're no monster.
Quote by freckledbird
Is the job going well?

Well, last night three of the patients cheered when I turned up for my shift which was nice smile, then the moment was kinda spoilt when the disorganised schitzophrenic came up behind me, knocked me, got right in my face and told me, after threatening to 'rip my head off', that he didn't like me anymore :lol2: which kind of soured the moment because I've spent ages building bridges with this guy. I have a good approach with him, and he offered me his version of a peace pipe. Oh, and spent some time chatting to one of the paranoid schizophrenics who thinks he's immortal and couldn't sleep. He thanked me this morning. It was a good night last night, nothing was broken, we had the same amount of doors at the end of the shift that we started with :smug:
/rant mode- Broke my back working overtime this month, only to have about 1100 deducted from my wages *ouch* (499 advance pay included). I have 680 quid to last the month :huh:
Venusxxx
LOL, 50 WPM means I was typing 50 words per minute. But when I type 'WPM', it reminds me of MPH, so I made it look like I was typing without a seatbelt on while talking on the mobile, hence all the typos (typing errors). And... maybe a few people on here might recall that I dropped my mobile in the loo last month.