Although there are no kids involved with me, I have trouble getting my mother to have time away without the grandchildren! She is just so willing to have the kids that sometimes I worry if she is doing too much.
We all love each other really though!!!!!
tbh the best 'holidays' i had as a kid were when my mum n dad went away i used to love that. you owe it to yourselves to have a break and theyll have a ball as well. theres probably some psychologist somewhere going ooh no, itll damage them and theyll hate you for it, but theyre kids and kids are harder than we think and they will have a great time in your absence.
do it
Well as I am sitting here with kids at grandparents (so we could see episode III) and I miss em like mad. Equally though I do the old anbulance thing to get away from everything, even them. We all have our pressure valves...
I know other people see less of their kids, some see more, kids and parents find a ballence that works for them. Just remember that anyone who pulls the 'in my day' routine kids were sent by those who could afford it to boreding school, or looked after by nannies. How is a few days away so bad??
We are hoping for a long weekend away soon, just the two of us now my job seems safe. I will miss them, but as others have said I am no good as a dad if I am stressed to hell, or dead from a stress induced heart attack...
Venus,
You and Mars are no monsters! The matter you raised is precisely one of the reasons E and myself don't want kids - but we are self-confessed monsters! :twisted:
As a kid the best holidays I remember were the ones where I got packed off to stay with Aunts and Uncles, often being plonked on a bus, train or aeroplane at one end of the journey by my mother and picked up at the other by my relatives (this was when I was 10 or 11 and my sister was a couple of years younger) and enjoying a couple of weeks away from parental rule (and most of my rellies, unlike my mother, had TV!) while my mother relaxed a bit (she had to bring us up on her own). My Grandparents lived close by as well and we saw them most days of the week and it was not at all unusual for us to stay overnight with them if my mother wanted a night out or had to be away for work.
As a kid this was fantastic! Of course we missed our mother but both my sister and I were able to establish good freindships with the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that we otherwise would never have been abe to do. Time away from parents, no matter how wonderful they are, is good for children (obviously in balance with having a good relationship with them at home) so your kids are not going to suffer. Your mother just sounds to be somewhat bitter and twisted - sorry to be so blunt. Why is it that families can give you more grief than the rest of the world when they should be there to support you?
Go and have a good holiday and don't work too hard before hand otherwise your children are much more likely to suffer if their mum is tired and frazzled after long hours at work.
H
what u have to remember here is your mother was bought up by parents who believe the man went to work and the woman stayed at home with the kids, cause everyone one of our granparents time believed that, BUT its 2005 now so i say leave the bratts lol
hey if your out of order for going away with out the kids my parents are monsters!!!!!!!!!! they have been away all in all about 10 times without me!!!! :cry: and twice of these times they went to the dominican republic!!!! how nasty!!! they go to whitby all the time always have i never really minded as even from a child id rather they go away without me n my brothers and have some romantic time together than them splitting up!!!.you need time to yourself!!!!! just because your parents it doesnt mean u carnt venture the world alone (without your children) dont feel guilty honey its fine!!!
i hope you have a lovely time!!!!
lou xxxx
oh and depending how old they are when my mum and dad went away they said to us "you can have parties, as long as its tidy when we get back, if anythings broken youll pay for it!" ni think thats fair doo's. she'd leave me £60 to last me the week i used to love it although having two older brothers lads wernt ever allowed around!!!! :cry:
when the kids are teenagers they will love it and feel some sense of responsability and trust and that carnt be too bad!!!!!!
lou xxx
The kids are 17, 14, 10. Obviously the 17 year old does her own thing, and the 14 year old sometimes makes her own arrangements (as long as I know what arrangements), but the 10 year old really needs responsible minding. Leaving him at home with the eldest is not an option.
Venusxxx
oh dear, once again i find myself in the minority, maybe you shouldnt read what im about to write venus!!
As someone who is old enough to be a grandparendt - gentically (though im bloody thankfull noe of out 3 have decided to make us so) i disagree
I havnt got a problem with anyone wanting time away from their kids, it helps everyones realtionship, kids are demanding and time consuming. Yo bring them up correctly (as im sure Venuses kids are) takes imesurable energy and leaves you tired and drained. For that reason i would ask , are grandparents the best people to leave your kids with especially if they are reluctant or harbour any hesitant thoughts?
I would never have left mine with their grandparents, in fact i wouldnt have even asked. To escape we used to swoop the kids with friends - parents of children around the kids age or a childless cousin who loved having them!!
As a potential grandparent , i would run am ile if my kids tried to leave me with theirs for a week!! Sorry but ive spent over 20 years bringing them up, the mere thought is like a sentance to hell
Leave them with grandparents and you will hear about it for ever and ever!!!!!!
You're not a bad parent for wanting to do it Venus if you think it's right for you ..... personally it's not something I would've done when my children were younger. Thankfully mine are now older I can take time out for 'me', but would never have done it years ago.
I love my 3 to pieces as do my parents but i'd never have asked my parents to have them any longer than the odd night and then it was only ever one at a time.
Maybe it's just me then.
Sorry, didn;t read more tha the first 15 or so posts, so not sure how young your kids are. Well I'll tell you that from a family of 6 kids (5 siblings), my aprents were always around, and I mean 365 days a year, 24/7. A dayam hard job, though it was practically my mother who did it all. I'd have loved them to have time together, partly for their sake, and also I never really knew what it was like to have some of my own growing time adn space without their presence. As a result, they've no idea how to go and enjoy themselves: they stay indoors all the time, b/c they're not used to being out and about for little day trips etc. Atleaste now they're able to go abroad to see other siblings for months at a time (yes months!), but mind you the brothers are a LONG way away.
Deal with the pangs of guilt, but it'll be interesting to see how the kids found the space when you return. It may make them appreciate you more as individuals. Ahhhhhh, kids, love them but can't eat a whole one. Are you're minkey monkeys? Anyway that's my input.
wish we could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL, 50 WPM means I was typing 50 words per minute. But when I type 'WPM', it reminds me of MPH, so I made it look like I was typing without a seatbelt on while talking on the mobile, hence all the typos (typing errors). And... maybe a few people on here might recall that I dropped my mobile in the loo last month.