hi and happy new year to all (better late than never lol)
Thx to all who responded to my last post. As a result of your advice i'v removed my one liner add lol.
1st a little bit more about myself and my concern/problem. I'm 31/m/birmingham and attached.
My concern is that my gf of 9 years has lost interest in sex. When we mer I was 22 and she was 26. We were both virgins. I don't know if the problem has always been there from the start, as we used to live with my parents and therefore were a bit reserved on bedroom activities. On top of this I was away alot (working lol). The problem for me became apparent over the last 4 years or so esp the last year. This is when we moved out from my parents and last year I stopped working long hours.
I would say that im many ways we both are novice and after some convincing I managed to watch a few educational videos with her. It hasn't had any effect on her.
My concern is that she doesn't like any foreplay and would rather go straight for penetrative sex. She doesn't like giving or receiving oral or a sensual massage either.
Can somebody pls tell me if this behaviour is normal in some fems. To be honest with you, while I was working long hours, this didn't bother me. However, now that I have more time on hand, I'd like to get more intimate.
On the other hand, i'v read some article, stating that if a man satisfies the fem, then she be gaggin for more. Can somebody shed some light on this plz. I'm often wondering to myself, as to whether its me, not knowing how to pleasure/arrouse her.
Please accept my appologies for making this a long and probably a boring read.
Thx
P.S if anybody wants to drop me a line, then pls feel free
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is it normal
Orgasminator
why not talk to her about this if its a problem to you?
There are a 101 possible reasons...
- chemical
- physical
- mental
When all of those things are right, then generally the more good sex you have (as a woman) the more good sex you want. Repeated experiences that just don't pop the cork can lower the interests - that is often relaited to a chemical thing.
- chemical
- physical
- mental
When all of those things are right, then generally the more good sex you have (as a woman) the more good sex you want. Repeated experiences that just don't pop the cork can lower the interests - that is often relaited to a chemical thing.
I'm not sure your asking in the right place.
I know I don't speak for everyone here, but the reason I came to swinging heaven was because I have a high sex drive and am interested in different sexual experiences and activities.
I'm not sure what is "normal", but I generally think about sex quite a lot and when I'm not thinking about it I'm doing it so it's difficult to offer advice on why somebody wouldn't be interested in sex
I know I don't speak for everyone here, but the reason I came to swinging heaven was because I have a high sex drive and am interested in different sexual experiences and activities.
I'm not sure what is "normal", but I generally think about sex quite a lot and when I'm not thinking about it I'm doing it so it's difficult to offer advice on why somebody wouldn't be interested in sex
if the problems due to chemical etc, where can we go to seek help, did try the GP some time ago, he came accross as a knob head
As for whether this is the right site, I initally did come on here to have some fun and to broaden my exp, as I thought the prob could be with me probabaly being a novice. Considering the responses I had for my last post, it made me realise that i need to tackle the prob at the root.
I do want to go and have some fun, but at the same time I want to sort the differences out with the GF. Hence. I'm here asking for advice.
I'll also appreciate if any fems/couples could teach me a thing or two.
As for whether this is the right site, I initally did come on here to have some fun and to broaden my exp, as I thought the prob could be with me probabaly being a novice. Considering the responses I had for my last post, it made me realise that i need to tackle the prob at the root.
I do want to go and have some fun, but at the same time I want to sort the differences out with the GF. Hence. I'm here asking for advice.
I'll also appreciate if any fems/couples could teach me a thing or two.
Sex God
Quote by gr8sex
I'll also appreciate if any fems/couples could teach me a thing or two.
So you are here for the sympathy shag. Thought so.
Quote by bluexxx
I'll also appreciate if any fems/couples could teach me a thing or two.
So you are here for the sympathy shag. Thought so.
I'd just like to reiterate at this point (not just to gr8sex) that I and many other females join swinger sites to erm swing.
Believe it or not it's quite easy to get a shag in the vanilla world, but for some reason a lot of men seem to think we come here purely to teach - actually no. I'm incredibly selfish and if I'm going to shag people I want them to know what there doing
i can fully understand that.
But of the 100's of people i can reach thru this site, i'm hoping sombody can offer me some constructive advice. For me Its not just about shaging, its about trying to make a relationship work. Guess its quite hard to that when the other half doesn't seem to see that there is a problem.
If i'm completely on the wrong site, then plz let me know
Bet som1 is going to tell me get lost no. lol
But of the 100's of people i can reach thru this site, i'm hoping sombody can offer me some constructive advice. For me Its not just about shaging, its about trying to make a relationship work. Guess its quite hard to that when the other half doesn't seem to see that there is a problem.
If i'm completely on the wrong site, then plz let me know
Bet som1 is going to tell me get lost no. lol
Sex God
Quote by gr8sex
i can fully understand that.
But of the 100's of people i can reach thru this site, i'm hoping sombody can offer me some constructive advice. For me Its not just about shaging, its about trying to make a relationship work. Guess its quite hard to that when the other half doesn't seem to see that there is a problem.
If i'm completely on the wrong site, then plz let me know
Bet som1 is going to tell me get lost no. lol
Sooooooooooooooooooooo............. not only do you think you can get a sympathy shag here, and maybe someone to teach you a new sexual trick or two... you also think you can get unpaid relationship therapy?
Yeah. Wrong site. Get lost
:lol: :lol: :lol: Sex God
Maybe you're just not as gr8 at sex as you think you are gr8sex ? 
:roll: And she knows it - so she can't be bothered having sex with you. Maybe she is out shagging like a rabbit behind your back with guys who are gr8er at sex than you are. Maybe she is here advertising right now in the ads section and is getting fucked stupid in a carpark as we speak.
Sorry, but it is possible. And you did ask. Hehehehehehehe :lol: :lol: :lol:
:roll: And she knows it - so she can't be bothered having sex with you. Maybe she is out shagging like a rabbit behind your back with guys who are gr8er at sex than you are. Maybe she is here advertising right now in the ads section and is getting fucked stupid in a carpark as we speak. Sorry, but it is possible. And you did ask. Hehehehehehehe
:lol: :lol: :lol: The thing about sex is that the more you have the more you want. it is all about what the individual associated with pleasure, as that association grows stronger and is reinforce by repetition then the act becomes more eagerly sort after.
So start with a little foreplay and let it grow naturally.
So start with a little foreplay and let it grow naturally.
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Maybe you're just not as gr8 at sex as you think you are gr8sex ?
Sorry, but it is possible. And you did ask. Hehehehehehehe
Maybe she met people when he was away working and found out that he's not gr8 at sex :lol:
Making me laugh that he's thinking she's the one with the problem :roll: :lol:
Quote by PoloLady
There are a 101 possible reasons...
- chemical
- physical
- mental
When all of those things are right, then generally the more good sex you have (as a woman) the more good sex you want. Repeated experiences that just don't pop the cork can lower the interests - that is often relaited to a chemical thing.
True is all in the brains chemistry, we are just and bag of chemicals. See that as good or bad, personal I like the mix that I am.
Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
Maybe you're just not as gr8 at sex as you think you are gr8sex ?
Sorry, but it is possible. And you did ask. Hehehehehehehe
Maybe she met people when he was away working and found out that he's not gr8 at sex :lol:
Making me laugh that he's thinking she's the one with the problem :roll: :lol:
I'm also thinking that as she goes straight for penetration rather than enjoying softer foreplay, massage and all that shit that she'll be advertising for large rough gang bangs, maybe some BDSM with her as the subbie slut, and dogging with large hairy greasy bikers who fuck her hard up the arse and then leave.
See, gr8sex you don't know you're partner at all, do you!
Quote by bluexxx
Maybe you're just not as gr8 at sex as you think you are gr8sex ?
Sorry, but it is possible. And you did ask. Hehehehehehehe
Maybe she met people when he was away working and found out that he's not gr8 at sex :lol:
Making me laugh that he's thinking she's the one with the problem :roll: :lol:
I'm also thinking that as she goes straight for penetration rather than enjoying softer foreplay, massage and all that shit that she'll be advertising for large rough gang bangs, maybe some BDSM with her as the subbie slut, and dogging with large hairy greasy bikers who fuck her hard up the arse and then leave.
See, gr8sex you don't know you're partner at all, do you!
It has been know for women to go straight to 'shoving the cock in' to make sure that they actually feel it :shock:
Of course it is more an indication that they want their partner to just get it over with :roll:
Orgasminator
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I'm not sure your asking in the right place.
I know I don't speak for everyone here, but the reason I came to swinging heaven was because I have a high sex drive and am interested in different sexual experiences and activities.
I'm not sure what is "normal", but I generally think about sex quite a lot and when I'm not thinking about it I'm doing it so it's difficult to offer advice on why somebody wouldn't be interested in sex
gooooooood girl
F.A.O Raunchy Rabbit. Thx for your constructive response. The relationship definatley out weighs the sexual side and i'l try to have a constructive chat with the GF and see if we can come to some arrangement for some counselling.
F.A.O BlueXXX. You have hit the nail on the head. Relationship therapy is something that will help and as for trying to get some for free, I don't believe in freebees. In my opinion there is no such thing as free. Did a search and found some good contacts. Thx again bluexxx for bringing therapy to my attention.
F.A.O Judy tv. I didn't claim to be a gift from god, but now that you have mentioned it, i believe that we ALL are a gift from god, besides one doesn't have to be a cover model to pull.
F.A.O BlueXXX. You have hit the nail on the head. Relationship therapy is something that will help and as for trying to get some for free, I don't believe in freebees. In my opinion there is no such thing as free. Did a search and found some good contacts. Thx again bluexxx for bringing therapy to my attention.
F.A.O Judy tv. I didn't claim to be a gift from god, but now that you have mentioned it, i believe that we ALL are a gift from god, besides one doesn't have to be a cover model to pull.
Orgasminator
buy her a bunch of flowers, cook her a meal make her feel good in her self. after 9 years i bet things get boring very easily so why not try to woo her all over again? mind you im single and never been married so im the last person to be dishing out advice. 
Quote by gr8sex
NO, i'm not here for a sympathy shag.
If that is what i was after, then i'd had gone to my local. I don't think i'll have a prob pulling. Unfortunately its hard to get decent advice there lol.
She is aware that i'm on here. (SEEKING advice - lol)
the problem why you find it hard to get decent advice is cause your not asking the right kinda questions for a swinging site.
Many people on here have a good sex life and want to involve others, taking that into account why would we know how to get your wife interested in having sex with you, let alone anyone else?
Quote by gr8sex
F.A.O BlueXXX. You have hit the nail on the head. Relationship therapy is something that will help and as for trying to get some for free, I don't believe in freebees. In my opinion there is no such thing as free. Did a search and found some good contacts. Thx again bluexxx for bringing therapy to my attention.
the problem with theropy is that if she does not see her lack of interest in sex as a problem the chances are she wont go, some people are happy to live in a sexless relationship and don't want help to boost their sex drives
Orgasminator
were all just nosy buggers when it comes to other peoples sex lives tho lol
