Is marriage important?
Reading from another thread has made me think!
Is marriage important?
I believe it is!
I believe if two people come together and want to live together without being married is fine. They are two people that have made that decision and that is their choice.
If then a couple want a family, I believe that then there are others to consider, being the children what affects it will have on them.
I have friends that have children that are not married. My friends have said the children have questioned why their parents are not married.
The children do wonder about the commitment to each other, that their names are different to one of their parents.
I think children do like to feel they belong in a team.
Having children is a joint commitment is it not?
I am not religious but I believe two people should show they are committed to each other.
Some would say it is just a piece of paper, but do the children feel that?
Being a family is a commitment is it not?
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Is marriage important?
The question you should be asking is what does "marriage" actually give you that you don't already have?
Does one have a partner? Check!
Does one have a home? Check!
Does one have a functioning reproductive system? Check!
Does one love one's partner? Check!
That seems to have the larger bases covered, now what does a fancy ceremony and a piece of paper bring to the equation?
Does one have a partner? Check!
Does one have a home? Check!
Does one have a functioning reproductive system? Check!
Does one love one's partner? Check!
That seems to have the larger bases covered, now what does a fancy ceremony and a piece of paper bring to the equation?
Ah Minxy, that's very 'conservative' of you! but you know, I was looking at the three suggestions and thought, I can't honestly vote on any of them!...
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
(in edit, I had to edit cos I was talking out of my derriere! :crazy: )
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
(in edit, I had to edit cos I was talking out of my derriere! :crazy: )
I won't answer as your poll doesn't even begin to cover my views on marriage.
Marriage is not the only symbol of commitment. It is one of many. Being unmarried and parents is just as much commitment as marriage. Those parents can live together or live apart and still be commited to both each other and their children.
Marriage has it's place for those for whom it matters. In my opinion any relationship is a commitment if everyone involved share that commitment and a piece of paper can be written evidence but isn't proof. Actions and behaviour are the proof.
Marriage is not the only symbol of commitment. It is one of many. Being unmarried and parents is just as much commitment as marriage. Those parents can live together or live apart and still be commited to both each other and their children.
Marriage has it's place for those for whom it matters. In my opinion any relationship is a commitment if everyone involved share that commitment and a piece of paper can be written evidence but isn't proof. Actions and behaviour are the proof.
Quote by jaymar
Ah Minxy, that's a very 'Labour' reflection
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant :lol:
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
Jaymar I knew it wasent going to be an easy answer! :lol:
I agree with you things have changed, I love the feeling of being married, what extra do we get?
Hard one to answer to me it is a feeling.
Each to their own I say, I just love a good debate!
But you know me I love to throw up unanswerable questions. I am sorry! :lol:
Quote by Theladyisaminx
Ah Minxy, that's a very 'Labour' reflection
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant :lol:
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
Jaymar I knew it wasent going to be an easy answer! :lol:
I agree with you things have changed, I love the feeling of being married, what extra do we get?
Hard one to answer to me it is a feeling.
Each to their own I say, I just love a good debate!
But you know me I love to throw up unanswerable questions. I am sorry! :lol:
that's just what we love about you :kiss:
Quote by jaymar
Ah Minxy, that's very 'conservative' of you! but you know, I was looking at the three suggestions and thought, I can't honestly vote on any of them!...
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
(in edit, I had to edit cos I was talking out of my derriere! :crazy: )
:shock: :shock: "conservative" don't tell 777 he will freak putting that word with my name :lol:
He has me labelled as a loony sandal wearing yogurt making kintting lefty! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sex God
its important to me i love being a wife rather than a partner don't know why can't put it into words just how i feel
but i don't think it is important to b married if its not your bag then que sara each to ya own
but i don't think it is important to b married if its not your bag then que sara each to ya own
Quote by jaymar
Ah Minxy, that's very 'conservative' of you! but you know, I was looking at the three suggestions and thought, I can't honestly vote on any of them!...
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
(in edit, I had to edit cos I was talking out of my derriere! :crazy: )
Conservative? Minxy? OMG. :lol: :lol: :lol:
All joking aside it is strange how many people turn against marriage when their own has gone down the pan! There is nothing at all wrong with marriage, or the reasons for it. It is the people who make marriage go wrong.
Both of us have been married before and both divorced, but I still believe in the sangtitude of it, if that makes sense. People I feel are more prepared to make it work when married, than just in a relationship.
Kids whilst I do not think does them any harm, I feel would be better with two parents that are married. Yes I know people say it is only a piece of paper, but is it really that simple?
Marriage can go wrong like any relationship because it will not make any difference at all if the two parties involved do not get on anymore but, In my experience people are prepared to try just that bit more to save it when they are married. People dont like to be just another divorce statistic.
I have an old fashioned view on it and not the hip hop trendy views of 2008. Marriage is important even in todays society, and the ones that shout against marriage the loudest seem to be people with bad marriages already behind them. :shock:
Quote by sparky33
I've had three LTR's, 2, 11 and 6 yrs and never married once, my Father on the other hand has married and diviorced five times.
Thats one side of the coin, the other side is I got married at 18 and was married for nearly 25 years. Had we not have been married we would have split up well before that. It was the fact of being married that made us both try harder when things became bad.
My parents married young and were married 49 years before the death of my Mother. Mrs777's parents have been married nearly 50 years. So marriage does work, not all the time but it does work for a hell of a lot of people.
Sex God
It isnt important unless its equally important to the 2 people in the relationship.
My mother was unhappy for years because of her views on marriage she and my step dad were together 15 years before getting wed (2 years ago) It was the right time for them. Had they done so earlier i dont think it would have worked out right, being the second marraige for both of them it had to be right and it certainly didnt bother me growing up that they were not married.
Im not married and i dont think i ever will, i dont need it from a commitment point of view. Im already settled i have my family
Deks been married before and wont again (he says until hes dying and at that point money will come into it as far as next of kin and will's are concerned) seems so terribly calculated? to me
I do not!
My mother was unhappy for years because of her views on marriage she and my step dad were together 15 years before getting wed (2 years ago) It was the right time for them. Had they done so earlier i dont think it would have worked out right, being the second marraige for both of them it had to be right and it certainly didnt bother me growing up that they were not married.
Im not married and i dont think i ever will, i dont need it from a commitment point of view. Im already settled i have my family
Deks been married before and wont again (he says until hes dying and at that point money will come into it as far as next of kin and will's are concerned) seems so terribly calculated? to me
I do not!
Quote by winchwench
We had two of our children out of wedlock, and the other two (well, one and a half- I was expecting) in.
It's made not one iota of difference to the kids whatsoever. The only thing to change was my surname.
I'm with Splendid (again) commitment is in the mind :thumbup:
Just a question winch... Why did you get married? If as people say it is only a piece of paper, then why bother?
Not a knock winch just a genuine question. xx
Um..... too late! :idea: 
Conservative? Minxy? OMG. :lol: :lol: :lol:
All joking aside it is strange how many people turn against marriage when their own has gone down the pan! There is nothing at all wrong with marriage, or the reasons for it. It is the people who make marriage go wrong.
Both of us have been married before and both divorced, but I still believe in the sangtitude of it, if that makes sense. People I feel are more prepared to make it work when married, than just in a relationship.
Kids whilst I do not think does them any harm, I feel would be better with two parents that are married. Yes I know people say it is only a piece of paper, but is it really that simple?
Marriage can go wrong like any relationship because it will not make any difference at all if the two parties involved do not get on anymore but, In my experience people are prepared to try just that bit more to save it when they are married. People dont like to be just another divorce statistic.
I have an old fashioned view on it and not the hip hop trendy views of 2008. Marriage is important even in todays society, and the ones that shout against marriage the loudest seem to be people with bad marriages already behind them. :shock:
Quote by kentswingers777
Ah Minxy, that's very 'conservative' of you! but you know, I was looking at the three suggestions and thought, I can't honestly vote on any of them!...
I think marriage is only important to the couple relevant :lol:
I love being married, but I don't think it's the be all and end all, and I don't think it's necessary in society these days.
Two people can be committed without being married.
(in edit, I had to edit cos I was talking out of my derriere! :crazy: )
Conservative? Minxy? OMG. :lol: :lol: :lol:
All joking aside it is strange how many people turn against marriage when their own has gone down the pan! There is nothing at all wrong with marriage, or the reasons for it. It is the people who make marriage go wrong.
Both of us have been married before and both divorced, but I still believe in the sangtitude of it, if that makes sense. People I feel are more prepared to make it work when married, than just in a relationship.
Kids whilst I do not think does them any harm, I feel would be better with two parents that are married. Yes I know people say it is only a piece of paper, but is it really that simple?
Marriage can go wrong like any relationship because it will not make any difference at all if the two parties involved do not get on anymore but, In my experience people are prepared to try just that bit more to save it when they are married. People dont like to be just another divorce statistic.
I have an old fashioned view on it and not the hip hop trendy views of 2008. Marriage is important even in todays society, and the ones that shout against marriage the loudest seem to be people with bad marriages already behind them. :shock:
Quote by kentswingers777
We had two of our children out of wedlock, and the other two (well, one and a half- I was expecting) in.
It's made not one iota of difference to the kids whatsoever. The only thing to change was my surname.
I'm with Splendid (again
Just a question winch... Why did you get married? If as people say it is only a piece of paper, then why bother?
Not a knock winch just a genuine question. xx
No offence taken. I think it was, quite simply (it's been a long time- and my memory aint all that lol) down to it "seeming like the right thing to do."
It was expected of us. It made our mothers happy. It was the "done thing." I was relatively young too- and idealistic I guess. With the benefit of hindsight and a little maturity, I can see it made no difference whatsoever to our lives on a daily basis.
I guess what it boils down to for me is that bringing the kids up in as stable an environment as possible is more of a commitment than the marriage certificate.
I'm not actually knocking marriage/ commitment ceremonies- but so few people see their vows as permanent these days it's sad.
It all makes sense in my head, but then I am well overdue a coffee :thumbup:
Quote by winchwench
We had two of our children out of wedlock, and the other two (well, one and a half- I was expecting) in.
It's made not one iota of difference to the kids whatsoever. The only thing to change was my surname.
I'm with Splendid (again
Just a question winch... Why did you get married? If as people say it is only a piece of paper, then why bother?
Not a knock winch just a genuine question. xx
No offence taken. I think it was, quite simply (it's been a long time- and my memory aint all that lol) down to it "seeming like the right thing to do."
It was expected of us. It made our mothers happy. It was the "done thing." I was relatively young too- and idealistic I guess. With the benefit of hindsight and a little maturity, I can see it made no difference whatsoever to our lives on a daily basis.
I guess what it boils down to for me is that bringing the kids up in as stable an environment as possible is more of a commitment than the marriage certificate.
I'm not actually knocking marriage/ commitment ceremonies- but so few people see their vows as permanent these days it's sad.
It all makes sense in my head, but then I am well overdue a coffee :thumbup:
Thats true enough winch but... Surely they must do when they are saying them? Well I bloody hope they do, or God help us all.
:lol: Or unless it is for a visa...forever the sceptic me. :shock: Me and Joe have been together for 14 years, we have three beautiful daughter's. We,ve always talked about getting married but didnt get around to it until this year ( 14 years later :shock: ) 
I think what im trying to say is that we thought we had totally committed to each other by having our children but with something that came up in our personal lives we realised we could be more committed than we already were.
We've been married now for nearly 2 months and although nothing has changed physically, financially etc, we do now feel whole as a family ( although we didnt realise we never felt that whole before).
Am I starting to confuse
Louise xx
I think what im trying to say is that we thought we had totally committed to each other by having our children but with something that came up in our personal lives we realised we could be more committed than we already were.
We've been married now for nearly 2 months and although nothing has changed physically, financially etc, we do now feel whole as a family ( although we didnt realise we never felt that whole before).
Am I starting to confuse
Louise xx
Quote by louise_and_joe
Me and Joe have been together for 14 years, we have three beautiful daughter's. We,ve always talked about getting married but didnt get around to it until this year ( 14 years later :shock: )
I think what im trying to say is that we thought we had totally committed to each other by having our children but with something that came up in our personal lives we realised we could be more committed than we already were.
We've been married now for nearly 2 months and although nothing has changed physically, financially etc, we do now feel whole as a family ( although we didnt realise we never felt that whole before).
Am I starting to confuse
Louise xx
You sly tart!
Congratulations
ive never been married cuse if i ever do it it would be cuse i wnat it to be forever.
i know some people will say thats what they intended at the time but things went wrong. but ie met a few guys and not one have i thought id want to spend the rest of my days with you. ( ok only one but it wasnt a option)
i think its the progression, the pride, the sense of bond. from seeing each other,,, to boyfriend,,, to fiancee,, to husband. it just sounds stronger.
i know this might sound bo**ox to some but its how i feel.
if i met someone i wanted to be with for ever id want to be married.
xx fem xxx
i know some people will say thats what they intended at the time but things went wrong. but ie met a few guys and not one have i thought id want to spend the rest of my days with you. ( ok only one but it wasnt a option)
i think its the progression, the pride, the sense of bond. from seeing each other,,, to boyfriend,,, to fiancee,, to husband. it just sounds stronger.
i know this might sound bo**ox to some but its how i feel.
if i met someone i wanted to be with for ever id want to be married.
xx fem xxx
i would like to be convinced that marriage is important,but one thing missing on this threads the word "happly married",of course we have seen the breaks ups caused when the kids are born or the vice versa...but a report last week said UK had the lowest divorce rate since the credit crunch began 12months ago,this is evidence that far many couples are living in self made prisons just waitng for the economy to be stable so they can walk away....
Sex God
Quote by Phuckers
i would like to be convinced that marriage is important,but one thing missing on this threads the word "happly married",of course we have seen the breaks ups caused when the kids are born or the vice versa...but a report last week said UK had the lowest divorce rate since the credit crunch began 12months ago,this is evidence that far many couples are living in self made prisons just waitng for the economy to be stable so they can walk away....
Or it could just be a coincidence and misinterpretation of figures, just for a change.
Quote by Phuckers
i would like to be convinced that marriage is important,but one thing missing on this threads the word "happly married",of course we have seen the breaks ups caused when the kids are born or the vice versa...but a report last week said UK had the lowest divorce rate since the credit crunch began 12months ago,this is evidence that far many couples are living in self made prisons just waitng for the economy to be stable so they can walk away....
It's hard to say which is the most expensive, the wedding or the divorce!
Quote by Peanut
i would like to be convinced that marriage is important,but one thing missing on this threads the word "happly married",of course we have seen the breaks ups caused when the kids are born or the vice versa...but a report last week said UK had the lowest divorce rate since the credit crunch began 12months ago,this is evidence that far many couples are living in self made prisons just waitng for the economy to be stable so they can walk away....
It's hard to say which is the most expensive, the wedding or the divorce!
with this financial crisis its too expensive to think about wedding
Quote by Phuckers
..but a report last week said UK had the lowest divorce rate since the credit crunch began 12months ago,this is evidence that far many couples are living in self made prisons just waitng for the economy to be stable so they can walk away....
But doesn't it normally take a year for divorce proceedings to be finalised
statistics couldn't possibly be being recorded already if that's the case.I can't imagine the majority of the population were filing for divorce all together exactly 12 months ago either.
Sex God
Marriage?
It made some people happy, not us we were already happy.
We tick different boxes now, but that does not change how we feel.
It cuts down on some of the questions. Like do you live together.
It puts a nice label on us, which means nothing.
It made some people happy, not us we were already happy.
We tick different boxes now, but that does not change how we feel.
It cuts down on some of the questions. Like do you live together.
It puts a nice label on us, which means nothing.
Sex God
Quote by Phuckers
with this financial crisis its too expensive to think about wedding
A wedding doesnt have to be expensive...
We did our own catering and had a small family wedding with a handfull of friends and including the rings (which were specially made) it cost us a smidge over £300...
Sex God
Quote by
It puts a nice label on us, which means nothing.
I think thats a very good point it is just another label when you take away the fuss of it
