IS THIS CHEATING?????????

29 Sep 2004

: Ok so here goes.
confused

My wife and i tried out a few parties and swaps, and it was the most sensual fantastic hornyest turn on of my life (ok no suprise so far) My wife on the other hand did not enjoy seeing me with other women !!!!!!
So is it considerd acceptable for me to continue with swinging without my wife? Am i considerd single???????
This is a genuine question folks so genuine answers please!!! confused

:

29 Sep 2004

Well, I'm a single guy so what do I know, but if you ask me whether it's cheating would depend on whether your wife knows about it or not.

29 Sep 2004

If you continue to swing behind your wife's back I'm sure she would consider you a cheat if she found out! sad

. However, you could continue swinging provided you are prepared that your marriage may well come off badly at the end of it all. Your wife might of course forgive you, but do you want to risk it?
Personally, I do not judge... there are a lot of single guys who are cheating whilst swinging, and I do not ask people's personal circumstances. However, a lot of swingers do not play with people they know are in a relationship outside their swinging life. You could of course pretend to your swinging friends that you are not married, but then your life will become doubly complicated!
Swinging is about fun, but it also needs to be done responsibly. I would think hard about what you actually want, and then go from there....
Over to you!

29 Sep 2004

If your gonna swing behind your wifes back then yes its cheating,its no different to cheating in any other if your wife knows about it and consents to you going solo then theres no quarms,but you have to fully know the risks of jealousy with this.
I'm kind of thinking though from what youve put that she won't know and if she got jealous of seeing you with other women then she won't be at all happy of you doing it behind her back.

29 Sep 2004

Hmmmm similar thing happened to me. lets just say once you pop you can't stop!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
I am happily divorced now for 3 years. Puts me in a good light doesn't it.
What you do is up to you, after that its up to the divorce lawyers. duel

I suggest you try and discuss this with the missus without jumpin in feet first and sayin "you'll look after the kids while i go for a shag" but start it more like "remember when" and try and ease her into a conversation to find out what her current feelings are before you arrange anything behind her back.
If you live in a nice house in an expensive neighbourhood and have 2 kids then just have a wank. it would have saved me a lot of money.

29 Sep 2004

Quote by professorj
: Ok so here goes. My wife and i tried out a few parties and swaps, and it was the most sensual fantastic hornyest turn on of my life (ok no suprise so far) My wife on the other hand did not enjoy seeing me with other women !!!!!!
So is it considerd acceptable for me to continue with swinging without my wife? Am i considerd single???????
This is a genuine question folks so genuine answers please!!! :

In a bit of a quandry about this one to be honest... if you both have a healthy sex life and love each other then I'd consider it cheating, big style... If, on the other hand, you are denied conjugal bliss and have been for some time then probably not... a man has needs after all. I don't know if it is still applicable today but my father divorced my mother on the grounds of 'no bedroom antics'... sad but true...
Each marriage is unique for varying reasons - many financial... you makes your bed and you lies in it I guess... confused

PS... I send you a PM yesterday as well as another person - both are still sitting in my outbox and I'm trying to figure out if there is a problem with my PMs...
Ciao
Wibbly

29 Sep 2004

29 Sep 2004

If it's deceitful it's cheating. Even if it is not deceitful you've got to be sure that you or your wife are not deceiving your/herself about whether you really want to do it. If you are then there is trouble ahead.

29 Sep 2004

Quote by professorj
: Ok so here goes.
So is it considerd acceptable for me to continue with swinging without my wife? Am i considerd single???????
This is a genuine question folks so genuine answers please!!! :

Well the "is it cheating?" part of the thread seems to have been answered enough so I won't add to the pile.
Are you single. Nope your a married man playing alone. Single men are exactly that - Single.
Can you carry on swinging. Course you can. Why not invite some of the many single guys from the site and let your wife have a couple of MMF's. After all that's still swinging.
Isn't it?
Oh yes before you ask. No I am not a single guy, I'm part of a couple.
Ian

29 Sep 2004

Hey prof, I believe you already know the answer to that question. Maybe you've heard things you've wanted to hear on here, maybe you haven't. But you do know what's right and what's not.
Good luck whatever your choice.

29 Sep 2004

I think what worries me more than if its cheating or not, is the fact that married men come to swinging sites for a quick shag, because they have needs they want to do something about. I think it can give people the wrong impression of what swinging is about.
Dawn :silly:

29 Sep 2004

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I think what worries me more than if its cheating or not, is the fact that married men come to swinging sites for a quick shag, because they have needs they want to do something about. I think it can give people the wrong impression of what swinging is about.
Dawn :silly:

I tend to agree but as long as they're honest about it, it is a decision for the other party mainly isn't it?

29 Sep 2004

Oh fuck, here goes my first serious reply. :shock:
If your wife doesn't know, you're cheating.
I don't regard us as real swingers, we're here, as a couple, looking for single guys.
I spend a lot of time chatting to single guys (the female half of a couple) and without exception, all the men make the comment that I'm getting all the fun. rolleyes

Mr novice is loving what we're doing, but the conversation always ends up making me feel like I'm depriving him in some way. mad

I know he'd love to fuck another woman, but I'm not ready to take that step yet, not sure if I ever will. redface

30 Sep 2004

Quote by Dawn_Mids
the fact that married men come to swinging sites for a quick shag, because they have needs they want to do something about. I think it can give people the wrong impression of what swinging is about.
Dawn :silly:

I have to agree Dawn ... it does give the wrong impression. May I suggest then that they look in their local paper under the section marked 'Escorts' .
Now that really is 'No Strings'
Lucy

30 Sep 2004

Yes, but if wifey is financially minded she might start to notice if mysterious Â£50/Â£100/more cash withdrawals suddenly start appearing on her bank statement... :shock:

30 Sep 2004

In my opinion of course its cheating if she doesnt know about it,why dont you speak to her about you have her consent then its an entirely diferent issue.

30 Sep 2004

Quote by professorj
So is it considerd acceptable for me to continue with swinging without my wife? :

if its acceptable for you then its not for us to tell you whats right for your marriage,
however it IS cheating.. regardless of the reasons for it.
i personally class all men who are playing without their wives consents as no-nos... the reasons they are doing it dont come into it for me.

Quote by professorj
Am i considerd single???????
This is a genuine question folks so genuine answers please!!! :

errr no! when u signed that marriage certificate. you signed away singledom!

30 Sep 2004

Quote by midlandsman1970
If you live in a nice house in an expensive neighbourhood and have 2 kids then just have a wank. it would have saved me a lot of money.

If you love her, no better advice could ever be given on this web site.

30 Sep 2004

Hi Prof
Good question, & exactly the sort of thing Mr Dev & I have been discussing over the last few nights. Listen to the sound advisory offering of midlandsman, there speaks a gentleman of experience & integrity. Sometimes we hear things that doesn't appeal to what we want to do, that doesn't mean they can be ignored.
Talk to the dear wife, more importantly listen to what she's telling you. Maybe you can find a way through this. Mr Dev & I agreed that the best way forward for us was to swing in couples or with another lady, must confess, I got a little wobbly when I contemplated the prospect of Mr. Dev putting his rudey-bits near another lady for the first time! redface

I on the other hand, realise that there's things I'd like to do that Mr. Dev would have a prob with, so you can't have it all ways!
Whatever you do, don't go behind her back tho. It is cheating, you're not single & from another perspective, if I was playing with a guy who told me he was single & I found out he wasn't, what other things might he have lied about? His health? Nasty criminal record? Scary, scary, scary!!!

30 Sep 2004

Quote by professorj
So is it considerd acceptable for me to continue with swinging without my wife? Am i considerd single???????
This is a genuine question folks so genuine answers please!!! :

It would depend on how strongly your wife feels about you having fun with or without her knowledge. Is it worth hurting your wife for?

30 Sep 2004

ooooo
of course its cheating if you carry on shagging other women and she dont know about it ffs
but if you ask her and she says its all good and dandy go ahead .then thats ok
bet she dont though :twisted: