Hey All,
Mr Lys and I have spoken (cam and on phone) with two couples this weekend.. both local, both seemed cool on chat. Sounds promising, eh? But you want to see and speak to both of the people involved before you plan anything concrete, right?
The thing is, that once we got chatting to the people (the male half in both of these cases) we found that the female partner really was not bothered at all in the process of chatting/communicating with us - she was labelled as 'coy' in one example, and in both cases it seemed like the man in the couple was using our dear SH site in order to 'convince' the wife that swinging would be a good thing to do ("why not try being bi dear, this couple seem lovely, and she is rather sexy you know... give it a go...")
Does this happen often? I'd seriously like to hear other peoples experiences....
Being a bi female I want the other female to be *bothered* about what is going on, keen to chat and flirt and interact with me before we even meet up... not come on cam on two seconds, whilst rolling her eyes and looking extremely pissed off to 'prove' that they are a couple, and then leave like the man is watching online porn and she just wants him to 'get on with it' so they can go about their lives otherwise.
We go to a spa where we see this happen often too - women who are obviously not comfortable being there - in one example we saw a girl running out of the rest rooms crying (not to be followed by her man we noted), who then sat around, arms crossed and looking so, so sad until her man came back down and led her home.
I'm not doubting that there are genuine, hot couples out there, it just seems that there are so many women out there who do it all just to keep their man happy, as opposed to because they are genuinely interested in it all. And that is just sad and tragic in the true senses of the words.
Ideas/experiences welcome please!
One thing we have learned from this that is positive though is how to spot women who aren't bothered and also to talk to people properly before we get further involved, so that can't be a bad thing!
Layla x
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Is this common? (slight rant perhaps?)
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Sexlightened
hi there
we have had the same problems, normally single guys pretending to be couples,we have however met with some great horny couples from this site and are very friendly now so dont give up,
we are genuine bi-fem couple and would love to meet up if you werent a plane ride away lol.
k4t xxxx
we have had the same problems, normally single guys pretending to be couples,we have however met with some great horny couples from this site and are very friendly now so dont give up,
we are genuine bi-fem couple and would love to meet up if you werent a plane ride away lol.
k4t xxxx
Quote by lysistrata
Hey All,
Mr Lys and I have spoken (cam and on phone) with two couples this weekend.. both local, both seemed cool on chat. Sounds promising, eh? But you want to see and speak to both of the people involved before you plan anything concrete, right?
The thing is, that once we got chatting to the people (the male half in both of these cases) we found that the female partner really was not bothered at all in the process of chatting/communicating with us - she was labelled as 'coy' in one example, and in both cases it seemed like the man in the couple was using our dear SH site in order to 'convince' the wife that swinging would be a good thing to do ("why not try being bi dear, this couple seem lovely, and she is rather sexy you know... give it a go...")
Does this happen often? I'd seriously like to hear other peoples experiences....
Being a bi female I want the other female to be *bothered* about what is going on, keen to chat and flirt and interact with me before we even meet up... not come on cam on two seconds, whilst rolling her eyes and looking extremely pissed off to 'prove' that they are a couple, and then leave like the man is watching online porn and she just wants him to 'get on with it' so they can go about their lives otherwise.
We go to a spa where we see this happen often too - women who are obviously not comfortable being there - in one example we saw a girl running out of the rest rooms crying (not to be followed by her man we noted), who then sat around, arms crossed and looking so, so sad until her man came back down and led her home.
I'm not doubting that there are genuine, hot couples out there, it just seems that there are so many women out there who do it all just to keep their man happy, as opposed to because they are genuinely interested in it all. And that is just sad and tragic in the true senses of the words.
Ideas/experiences welcome please!
One thing we have learned from this that is positive though is how to spot women who aren't bothered and also to talk to people properly before we get further involved, so that can't be a bad thing!
Layla x
I can relate to this post a lot and can say that I go on cam, msn, chat a lot less now because I got fed up of people wanting to talk to me and not Morbius, I guess now it would look like this ...
The thing is, that once we got chatting to the people (the male half in both of these cases) we found that the female partner really was not bothered at all in the process of chatting/communicating with us - she was labelled as 'coy' in one example, and in both cases it seemed like the man in the couple was using our dear SH site in order to 'convince' the wife that swinging would be a good thing to do ("why not try being bi dear, this couple seem lovely, and she is rather sexy you know... give it a go...")
I guess I could be mistaken as not being bothered, but actually whilst I can flirt for England I find it very hard to do via msn/cam and often feel like I'm being asked to perform. Once I've met the person and know them then I guess I do flirt more.
Just a different perspective ;)
Cx
You do see that kind of incident happening. More often than not when the man is attempting to lead the woman along. This is often made worse by selecting a cheap and nasty venue, which women are never happy with.
However when the woman requires to take the lead in swinging it can also be as demoralising for the man.
I can remember being called late at night by husbands looking for their wives, sounding quite drunk and weepy, and wanting to 'talk'. These usually being the ones who coerced their wives into the lifestyle. In most cases the women were out on a girls night, which hubbie overlooked, but never the less decided to descend into a depression.
I also meet a few guys on various jobs who have a tv/cd partner. Now that's another ball game altogether. I have seen guys spend the whole day sat motionless as they try to recover from the previous bout of fighting with their bloodsucking partner. And believe me the whole site knows about it.
However when the woman requires to take the lead in swinging it can also be as demoralising for the man.
I can remember being called late at night by husbands looking for their wives, sounding quite drunk and weepy, and wanting to 'talk'. These usually being the ones who coerced their wives into the lifestyle. In most cases the women were out on a girls night, which hubbie overlooked, but never the less decided to descend into a depression.
I also meet a few guys on various jobs who have a tv/cd partner. Now that's another ball game altogether. I have seen guys spend the whole day sat motionless as they try to recover from the previous bout of fighting with their bloodsucking partner. And believe me the whole site knows about it.
Quote by lysistrata
We go to a spa where we see this happen often too - women who are obviously not comfortable being there - in one example we saw a girl running out of the rest rooms crying (not to be followed by her man we noted), who then sat around, arms crossed and looking so, so sad until her man came back down and led her home.
In 6 years of very regular club going we have seen it but not often. We have also seen the male half of couples sitting morosely in the bar while their partners take on all comers upstairs. It's not necessarily a gender thing but isn't good to watch. It usually happens when couples are trying a club for the first time and they are rarely seen again. We only know 2 couples where it is a regular thing that the fem is less than happy.
We've also seen 'the fem being bi for the man' but again very rarely. The percentage of genuinely bi women who attend clubs regularly seems very high. In our experience almost all the experienced women we've seen on the scene have been happy to play with other women without being prompted and we could count the number of genuinely straight women we've played with on the fingers of 1 hand.
Thanks for all of the replies guys.
Calista - I understand what you are saying, but in one of the cases we were speaking to the man on the phone after camming and he admitted that other than saying at times of 'passion' that she might like to be with another couple his wife wasn't up for anything, and that they had never spoken about it in the cold light of day... and yet he took it upon himself to advertise themselves on here as being fully up for it... it was just concerning to us.
I have no problems with females that don't like camming or aren't up for being too over-friendly initially, but surely couples should discuss their wants and the like before they go jumping on in and talk about 'playing' (which could lead me to another rant about how some people think that if you are even on here you'll be up for fucking them and their partner before you've even talked about what you are on here for, your likes and dislikes and even whether you find the people attractive or not! But I shant start that now lol). They should certainly be sure that both partners are up for something (he later admitted that she didn't even want to go to a local spa, which is as about as soft as you can get as you can only get up to stuff in the playrooms upstairs and it is very civilised and 'classy' everywhere else in the place). Eventually he admitted that they had never even spoken about the real details of their potential swinging experiences and he wasn't even sure what she wanted.....if she wanted to do anything at all.....
Anyway, I am sure that there are LOADS of genuine couples out there - we've had contact on here with some of them (although no meets as yet), and we have met some at the spa who are genuine and I'm sure that our 'pickiness' rules out a hell of a lot of genuine people, but hey ho..... lol
Thanks again all x
Calista - I understand what you are saying, but in one of the cases we were speaking to the man on the phone after camming and he admitted that other than saying at times of 'passion' that she might like to be with another couple his wife wasn't up for anything, and that they had never spoken about it in the cold light of day... and yet he took it upon himself to advertise themselves on here as being fully up for it... it was just concerning to us.
I have no problems with females that don't like camming or aren't up for being too over-friendly initially, but surely couples should discuss their wants and the like before they go jumping on in and talk about 'playing' (which could lead me to another rant about how some people think that if you are even on here you'll be up for fucking them and their partner before you've even talked about what you are on here for, your likes and dislikes and even whether you find the people attractive or not! But I shant start that now lol). They should certainly be sure that both partners are up for something (he later admitted that she didn't even want to go to a local spa, which is as about as soft as you can get as you can only get up to stuff in the playrooms upstairs and it is very civilised and 'classy' everywhere else in the place). Eventually he admitted that they had never even spoken about the real details of their potential swinging experiences and he wasn't even sure what she wanted.....if she wanted to do anything at all.....
Anyway, I am sure that there are LOADS of genuine couples out there - we've had contact on here with some of them (although no meets as yet), and we have met some at the spa who are genuine and I'm sure that our 'pickiness' rules out a hell of a lot of genuine people, but hey ho..... lol
Thanks again all x
Quote by northwest-cpl
...We have also seen the male half of couples sitting morosely in the bar while their partners take on all comers upstairs...
Oh dear – I know it is a little off topic… but that just gave me a flash-back and I can’t stop chuckling.
A male ‘friend’ of mine had been asking (to the point of pestering) me to take him along to the club one night. I agreed and set out my usual ground rules – that is if we go in as a couple we play as a couple and respect what each other wants as situations arise (ie no running off with someone else unless the other person is happy to be left to do their own thing). Just before we were about to set-off he asks “Is there a problem if we do our own thing when we get there?â€. I explained that my ground rules were just as much in his interest as mine (if not more so). He responds with “I didn’t expect you to be clingyâ€
:shock:
Well it was a Friday and there were bound to be plenty of singles there so I agreed but added “only if you are sure?â€
When we got there I gave him the guided tour and just as we were returning to the bar I bumped into a couple I know. The lady already had rounded up a selection of handsome devils, so hubby asked if I wanted to accompany him to the couples room. I turned to my friend and asked “are you sure?â€. “With his response of “I am sure I can fend for myself†I was off up the stairs.
Several hours/rooms/situations later I returned to the bar, only to find my male friend looking quite fed-up and complaining that there were too many single guys and most of the couples wanted to play with other couples.
Evil of me I know – but sometimes people just won’t listen and it is the only way they learn :grin:
Quote by PoloLady
...We have also seen the male half of couples sitting morosely in the bar while their partners take on all comers upstairs...
Oh dear – I know it is a little off topic… but that just gave me a flash-back and I can’t stop chuckling.
A male ‘friend’ of mine had been asking (to the point of pestering) me to take him along to the club one night. I agreed and set out my usual ground rules – that is if we go in as a couple we play as a couple and respect what each other wants as situations arise (ie no running off with someone else unless the other person is happy to be left to do their own thing). Just before we were about to set-off he asks “Is there a problem if we do our own thing when we get there?â€. I explained that my ground rules were just as much in his interest as mine (if not more so). He responds with “I didn’t expect you to be clingyâ€
:shock:
Well it was a Friday and there were bound to be plenty of singles there so I agreed but added “only if you are sure?â€
When we got there I gave him the guided tour and just as we were returning to the bar I bumped into a couple I know. The lady already had rounded up a selection of handsome devils, so hubby asked if I wanted to accompany him to the couples room. I turned to my friend and asked “are you sure?â€. “With his response of “I am sure I can fend for myself†I was off up the stairs.
Several hours/rooms/situations later I returned to the bar, only to find my male friend looking quite fed-up and complaining that there were too many single guys and most of the couples wanted to play with other couples.
Evil of me I know – but sometimes people just won’t listen and it is the only way they learn :grin:
That eally made me chuckle! :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
...We have also seen the male half of couples sitting morosely in the bar while their partners take on all comers upstairs...
Oh dear – I know it is a little off topic… but that just gave me a flash-back and I can’t stop chuckling.
A male ‘friend’ of mine had been asking (to the point of pestering) me to take him along to the club one night. I agreed and set out my usual ground rules – that is if we go in as a couple we play as a couple and respect what each other wants as situations arise (ie no running off with someone else unless the other person is happy to be left to do their own thing). Just before we were about to set-off he asks “Is there a problem if we do our own thing when we get there?â€. I explained that my ground rules were just as much in his interest as mine (if not more so). He responds with “I didn’t expect you to be clingyâ€
:shock:
Well it was a Friday and there were bound to be plenty of singles there so I agreed but added “only if you are sure?â€
When we got there I gave him the guided tour and just as we were returning to the bar I bumped into a couple I know. The lady already had rounded up a selection of handsome devils, so hubby asked if I wanted to accompany him to the couples room. I turned to my friend and asked “are you sure?â€. “With his response of “I am sure I can fend for myself†I was off up the stairs.
Several hours/rooms/situations later I returned to the bar, only to find my male friend looking quite fed-up and complaining that there were too many single guys and most of the couples wanted to play with other couples.
Evil of me I know – but sometimes people just won’t listen and it is the only way they learn :grin:
Very good PL.... hehehehehehehehehe
northwest-cpl... anyone would think you're attending the same clubs as me
:lol: . Yeah, I've seen the situation where it is obvious the woman is only there to please the fella. I have only seen it a handful of times, but it is very uncomfortable and I avoid situations like that like the plague. I have probably seen the scenario where the man isn't happy with the woman having fun more times than vice versa, but in the general schemes of things, really not that often... or maybe I'm just not that observant 
. I have seen several situations in clubs develop into full blown rows between partners, proper screaming matches too... no idea really what was going on, but actually it was quite entertaining :shock: 
Clubs aside and cnsidering things like cam checks and the like... I can understand people getting a bit pissed off with it... from either side really... people do want cam checks, but they again if you are constantly asked for cam checks I can see how annoying it might be... Actually when I was advertising I would say I did not have a cam even though I did just so I wouldn't have to go through this tedious procedure. I would much prefer a quick phone chat to prove I was genuine and then afterwards continue to chat by email.
But yeah, if it is OBVIOUS one partner (and I am being purposefully gender neutral here) is not happy for whatever reason then leave them to it and go and shag someone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
