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Its funny because its true

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Unknown User
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
 
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
 
You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
 
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator (Then turned it upside down).
 
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
 
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
 
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
 
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
 
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
 
It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
 
Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
 
Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
 
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
 
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
 
The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
 
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
 
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
 
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
 
Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
 
It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
 
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
 
You never ever run out of salt.
 
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
 
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
 
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
 
No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
 
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
 
The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
 
People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
 
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
 
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
 
Bricks are horrible to carry.
 
In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
 
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a 'Mcchicken Burger', just a 'Chicken Burger' gets a blank look...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*ckin McTos*er!
Missy
Sex God
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Bluddy brilliant! So True!!
Paranoid about looking wrong with a mobile now tho confused
Sappho
Sex God
boink :boink: :boink:
Yep, have to agree - very true!
You never know where to look when eating a banana.

I do - straight in the other person's eyes... :twisted:
Sappho xxx
Unknown User
Wonderful start to the day!
Sappho - pass the bananas round!
the_tongue
Orgasminator
Omg Alex, you are a serious chatterbox and a very attractive 1 too by the look of it.
Unknown User
Well thank you!!!!!!
redface
I wonder if I'll break the 200 barrier today?
steve_1
Master of Sex
Quote by slacky
 
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
 

Reading is horrible all the time.. but why stop at Reading.. so's Slough and so's High Wycombe.. wink
steve
x
bluexxx
Sex God
Alex, by the way you're going you'll be top poster before the end of the week.
Slacky - soooooooo true. And a dog REALLY DID run into my school once. It got chased away by the teachers, but it hung around til play time, then targetted one of the little boys and tried to shag him. He wasn't happy. It is an image that I haven't forgotten :shock:
Unknown User
Blue said
Alex, by the way you're going you'll be top poster before the end of the week.

I'm trying Blue, I'm trying!
I know I'm trying - my hubby is always saying that to me!
Alex x x
Unknown User
Hmmmmm....I wonder?........
I wonder how long it would take myself, steve_1 and bluexxx to delete all of Alex's posts and get her total back down to zero. Now there's something we haven't tried before!! :twisted:
Steve
steve_1
Master of Sex
* steve slopes off to sharpen secateurs again...*
steve
Unknown User
Now THAT WOULD BE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!
How about if I got down on my knees.................
and pleaded for you to be nice to me and leave them on?
steve_1
Master of Sex
Quote by Alexandra
Now THAT WOULD BE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!
How about if I got down on my knees.................
and pleaded for you to be nice to me and leave them on?

thats certainly a start Alex.. but you may need to go further. wink
steve
x
ps speaking for all of us there..
Andy_Wakefield
Sexpert
On the bright side you must have very strong wrist muscles by now Alex, from all the typing - I'm sure there must be other good uses for them too. smile
Unknown User
Steve_1 said
ps speaking for all of us there..

Bl**dy Hell - ALL of you
Unknown User
Andy said
On the bright side you must have very strong wrist muscles by now Alex, from all the typing - I'm sure there must be other good uses for them too.

Yes Andy - I'm quite good at darts!
Unknown User
What about table football thats a killer on the wrists!
Unknown User
Quote by Alex the out of control pupil
Bl**dy Hell - ALL of you

Me first please......I don't really fancy sloppy 4,732ths :shock:
Steve
Unknown User
I dont mind going after steve (wouldn't want to upset him incase he beats me up with that tremendously strong wightlifting cock!).
Unknown User
(PS lol @ Alex the out of control pupil)
Andy_Wakefield
Sexpert
Darts? I'm disappointed. smile
I would much rather you were on the Andy, than on the Oche. :)
Unknown User
Slack said
What about table football thats a killer on the wrists!

I cant play that to save my life - no co-ordination
Unknown User
Neither can I - although I did go in to a pub once where there was a professional game on, they were all wearing white gloves and drinking mineral water! I'm more of a spin and hope man
Unknown User
I would much rather you were on the Andy, than on the Oche

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Kevin_Private
Warming the Bed
Maybe we could have a punishment vote.
What punishment should Alex receive??
I vote being made to wear a school uniform (old St Trinians style of course :P) with long white socks and white panties, and then being made to pick up litter from the school yard. On a windy day. Oh, in a tight white blouse on a cold windy day :P
Oh yeah, and spanking lol
Unknown User
Hey fellahs
Just what have I done to deserve all this punishment?
Unknown User
Oh Kevin
Just checking - is this what I'm supposed to wear when you have convinced me that I should take my hubby to Entwistle?
I dont think he'd be impressed.
Second thoughts, maybe he would!
Kevin_Private
Warming the Bed
You breathed.
And there's a y in the day.
Those are plenty sufficient reasons to force a woman to dress in school uniform and bend over haha.
Andy_Wakefield
Sexpert
I'm sure they are just joshing with you, Alex, they are all pussycats {probably}.
Pain is so last week, pleasure is the in thing. smile
Wasnt joking about like the idea of you being on top of me though - saying that was a joke would just be silly in the extreme. biggrin
Unknown User
Quote by Bono, sorry, Andy said
Pain is so last week, pleasure is the in thing.

Phew, thank God for that!
My backside would burn just like the 'Unforgettable Fire'