its only polite to reply?/??

7 Jan 2010

When a member receives a message, surely its only polite for them to reply to sender, even if only a "thanks, but no thanks"?
I try to reply to every message, I no non paid members cant, but if you;ve paid to be a member then, send a reply!
Am I right or wrong?

7 Jan 2010

Alas you are not the first and won't be the last to come up against this.
Some people don't reply to unsolicited mail - so if they haven't got an advert at the mo and you have just speculatively PMed them on the basis of location or pics or whatever they won't reply; others don't reply if you are not the 'type' of person/people they are looking for; others just don't reply full stop.
dunno

People are all different.
Oh and a tip - don't ever read an unread mail you have sent in your sent mail folder because it will no longer show up as a new mail and so people may not realise they have a new message.
Nola x

7 Jan 2010

This is a common question, with as many answers as the site has members (well almost ;-) ). One of the main responses is that people get gazillions of messages and most of them are from people who haven't read their profile, or put any thought into the PM. If you were to respond to all of them you'd never get off the site!
Mind you, I reply to every PM I get (I just don't get many :-( )

7 Jan 2010

Note to self: Type faster and get in before Nola! :lol2:

7 Jan 2010

ok, thats a good tip!
I didn't realise that! esp important when my partner sends messages when I;m not here, so I have a look, to see what is written, then I don't repeat things!
I guess on "dating" sites, people say the same thing too!
As you say, human nature says don't bother replying!
smile

7 Jan 2010

Of course you're right. It is absolutely only polite to reply. Even if it is a "thanks but no thanks".
But... (you knew there was a but right?!) lol

when you've been here for a few years and you get one line messages from people who clearly haven't read your profile, who aren't what you're looking for in your advert, who don't fit in any shape or form to your preferences and you get a ridiculous number of PM's it does get a little bit tiresome.
Sometimes when you do send a "thanks but no thanks" you get a response that's along the lines of "oh well I wasn't really all that interested anyway" or "oh you're a timewaster then". Then there are those who think they're really going to convince you that actually, even though they don't fit your criteria you'd still like to be Mrs Robinson or that they're really your ideal man, you just don't know it yet. :lol:
So that might go some way to explaining why some people just don't reply at all. I used to. I used to reply to every PM I received. Then I got a bit bored with it. Rude perhaps, but when you have a profile like mine (blank to save you looking) and you still get messages from people who "really like your profile, take a look at mine and let me know what you think". Well I think my profile is blank, what's to like?! :mrgreen:
Anyway... I've waffled. I'm sure there will be other replies but you could probably do a search on it and you'll find the question has been asked a million times and nothing ever changes. I guess you need to make your PM's longer than one line and put some effort into picking things out of the profile you're looking at to make you stand out from the next person.

7 Jan 2010

Quote by Cubes
Mind you, I reply to every PM I get (I just don't get many :-( )

Awww, hugs!

7 Jan 2010

This is the content of a mail I was sent recently.
"we r cheshire cpls looking for some good fun." Plus 2 letters I assume are initials, hence not copied here.
Seriously - does it warrant a reply?
However, prompted by this thread, I sent "thanks, but no thanks" to 4 recent mails. I'm curious what the result will be. 2 of the mails were like the above, the other 2 had at least made an effort.
I'm not great at replying, I admit. But many weren't worth opening (with minimal content and written in txtspk), let alone replying to.

7 Jan 2010

its all good, I sent a "thanks, but no thanks" to someone, he replied with with "so nice not to be ignored", however then proceeded to push meeting up, so perfectly understand that.
As you say, so many people don't read the profile, and just send a round robin message!

7 Jan 2010

I don't reply to in-solicited messages. It says quite clearly in my profile that I'm not meeting and not to PM me so if they do I know they've not read it. Why should I respond to someone who can't be bothered to read my profile.

7 Jan 2010

well, of course, if you;re profile says you;re not here to meet up, and wont reply, then of course people shouldn;t expect a reply!
Seems many people don't read profiles very well!

7 Jan 2010

Quote by spikeruby
well, of course, if you;re profile says you;re not here to meet up, and wont reply, then of course people shouldn;t expect a reply!
Seems many people don't read profiles very well!

Or they read profiles too well...
One of my personal favourite ever PMs was the one that simply, and dare I say eloquently said:
"So why won't you let people f*ck you up the ass then?"
Full marks for looking at my profile interests and noticing what wasn't there but erm, no, I didn't reply! lol

7 Jan 2010

Quote by noladreams
Oh and a tip - don't ever read an unread mail you have sent in your sent mail folder because it will no longer show up as a new mail and so people may not realise they have a new message.
Nola x

perhaps its because of the changes of the site this is no longer the case (tested the theory to make sure) sent mail read by the sender still shows in the receivers in box as unread

7 Jan 2010

Quote by sara2010

Oh and a tip - don't ever read an unread mail you have sent in your sent mail folder because it will no longer show up as a new mail and so people may not realise they have a new message.
Nola x

perhaps its because of the changes of the site this is no longer the case (tested the theory to make sure) sent mail read by the sender still shows in the receivers in box as unread
Oooh brill! That always used to catch me out. Nice one kiss

7 Jan 2010

Quote by noladreams

Oh and a tip - don't ever read an unread mail you have sent in your sent mail folder because it will no longer show up as a new mail and so people may not realise they have a new message.
Nola x

perhaps its because of the changes of the site this is no longer the case (tested the theory to make sure) sent mail read by the sender still shows in the receivers in box as unread
Oooh brill! That always used to catch me out. Nice one kiss

Yup... but if you read a PM that you've sent... the little red (used to be an envelope - now it's a little red box) disappears so its not as noticeable unless you go into your inbox and check for new mail. biggrin

7 Jan 2010

Quote by poshkate
I don't reply to in-solicited messages. It says quite clearly in my profile that I'm not meeting and not to PM me so if they do I know they've not read it. Why should I respond to someone who can't be bothered to read my profile.

You have a profile Kate??
ffs I've never manged to get by looking at your pics wink

7 Jan 2010

We don't reply. Purely and simply because our profile states clearly that we are not looking for new people right now. So why would you contact us dunno

What's not to get about that?
It may be rude, but unfortunately thats what you get when you PM someone who doesn't want PM'ing!
Unfortunately, reading some of your replies, it seems you're one of the few who can read a profile lol

so the answer is, I dunno really :dunno: Maybe because there are so many of us not meeting at the moment (by the looks of this thread lol) the ones who are meeting are getting even more bombarded than the rest of us!
*Her*

7 Jan 2010

Its quite interesting that so many forum regulars, arnt looking to meet new people, which is fine. I guess they've met a regular bunch of friends who they play with, or are happy with their partners, or regular playmate smile

And if i was to read that, you're not looking for new people, I;d move right along!
I guess lots of people are on this site for different reasons :)

7 Jan 2010

I used to reply to all messages but some people just wont take no for an answer and will get people replying back saying please give me a chance I am genuine. So now I have a comment on my profile which if it isnt mentioned in the subject title of any messages I get I just automatically delete the message, also I dont reply to anyone that doesnt match what I am looking for and it also says that on my profile.

7 Jan 2010

I enjoyed reading your profile, so true, the chat room bits!
lol, I;m in the wrong criteria! smile

7 Jan 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
Anyway... I've waffled.....

for a change :mrgreen: