I've come to the conclusion .......

28 Aug 2011

..... that lots of people think that they can just sit back, do nothing and swinging opportunities will come to them.
We hear only too often in the forums and in chat "Why can't we get a meet?" and "Does anyone on here play?" Well, yes they do! There are so many offers in the lets meet up forum from couples and singles alike who are advertising where and when they want to play and yet so many of these adverts have no responses! dunno

We advertised twice in the lets meet up forum for a couples party we were holding on Friday. Only one reply, unfortunately from a single guy.
We did have a fantastic party (which was populated from couples from another site) but when I was talking about it in chat this morning so many people said "Oh if we'd have known ......" and "Let us know when you hold another one, we'll defo be there!" Errrrrrm, I don't think so!!
This site does work and it works well when people actually look for opportunities and do something about it!
Don't blame the site, it's not the site that doesn't work, it's many of the members that don't work! If everyone was to wait for people to come to them, nobody would get to play!
Rant over! lol

28 Aug 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
This site does work and it works well when people actually look for opportunities and do something about it!

Agreed, jeez if I can get some amazing meets on here then anyone can! :grin:
Its not like coming onto a site to order a pair of cinema tickets though, it does take effort to find people who are after the same thing and that are looking for what you can offer.
Lucky Boy at the minute, I have very little spare time and some filthy friends to fill it for me - but like me that doesnt come easy :rascal:

28 Aug 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
..... that lots of people think that they can just sit back, do nothing and swinging opportunities will come to them.

and plenty of peeple do lots but still get no meets.

Quote by Funlovers2009
Don't blame the site, it's not the site that doesn't work, it's many of the members that don't work! If everyone was to wait for people to come to them, nobody would get to play!
Rant over!

we have come to the conclusion that there is nowhere neer as many members on this site, that it states there is on the home page. even so we find it hard to meet for many reesons. we do not wait for peeple to come to us. we have chatted and and cammed with many peeple but in the end they end up being married, or the woman is not bi but her husband wants he to be. :twisted: we do not want to play with married guys, or couples where the fem only thinks she is bi.
after we take all those things away we have as yet not met any couples or in fact single guys. mrs star will not play with guys that are over weight and there are a lot of guys who think that 16 stone is slim. :lol:
we still stand by the fact that it is not the fact we have no pictures that do not get us the meets, but the fact that maybe we are to fussy. dunno

we are not the only peeple on here who have trouble finding the right kind of meets as we will not just shag the first peeple that show an interest, maybe that is where we are going wrong :dunno:
i am sure that our first meet is just around the corner but when we joined the site we did feel there were a lot more members active and playing than what there actualy are. if you had one per cent of the peeple aparently on this site going onto the chat rooms at the same time there would be roughly 13,000 peeple on it. normaly it struggles to get 1 per cent of that figure.
with the site obviusly putting up figures as member figures that there are not, then part of that could well be the sites fault. we will be giving it another 3 months on here and then will rethink our options as frankly we get better luck out of other sites that we pay less money to be members on.
why a site would put up misleeding member figures is beyond me, but then some peeple could be a bit more cynical than me and say it is to atract more peeple to pay to join as like us they thought there were lots and lots of playing members :dunno: when in fact there are very few. well very few that meets our criterias.

28 Aug 2011

Quote by starlightcouple
..... that lots of people think that they can just sit back, do nothing and swinging opportunities will come to them.

and plenty of peeple do lots but still get no meets.

Quote by Funlovers2009
Don't blame the site, it's not the site that doesn't work, it's many of the members that don't work! If everyone was to wait for people to come to them, nobody would get to play!
Rant over!

we have come to the conclusion that there is nowhere neer as many members on this site, that it states there is on the home page. even so we find it hard to meet for many reesons. we do not wait for peeple to come to us. we have chatted and and cammed with many peeple but in the end they end up being married, or the woman is not bi but her husband wants he to be. :twisted: we do not want to play with married guys, or couples where the fem only thinks she is bi.
after we take all those things away we have as yet not met any couples or in fact single guys. mrs star will not play with guys that are over weight and there are a lot of guys who think that 16 stone is slim. :lol:
we still stand by the fact that it is not the fact we have no pictures that do not get us the meets, but the fact that maybe we are to fussy. dunno

we are not the only peeple on here who have trouble finding the right kind of meets as we will not just shag the first peeple that show an interest, maybe that is where we are going wrong :dunno:
i am sure that our first meet is just around the corner but when we joined the site we did feel there were a lot more members active and playing than what there actualy are. if you had one per cent of the peeple aparently on this site going onto the chat rooms at the same time there would be roughly 13,000 peeple on it. normaly it struggles to get 1 per cent of that figure.
with the site obviusly putting up figures as member figures that there are not, then part of that could well be the sites fault. we will be giving it another 3 months on here and then will rethink our options as frankly we get better luck out of other sites that we pay less money to be members on.
why a site would put up misleeding member figures is beyond me, but then some peeple could be a bit more cynical than me and say it is to atract more peeple to pay to join as like us they thought there were lots and lots of playing members :dunno: when in fact there are very few. well very few that meets our criterias.
It has been said many times and by many people that the figures on the home page are very misleading as there are lots of profiles counted that are not active and haven't been active for a long time and I totally agree with you! Not much we, as members can do about that though hey.
I also totally agree with you that you should not meet anyone who does not meet your criteria.
I fear that you have not understood what the original post was about though. I was saying that there are far too many people on here who seem to expect the swinging world to come to them while they sit and do absolutely nothing. Of course I wasn't meaning you personally.
As in my example above, we advertised twice in the forum that we were having a party. This morning in chat lots of people said that they would have come if they'd have known about it. It was there, they only had to look! They then asked me to keep them in mind for next time, therefore expecting a personal message inviting them to a party which I refuse to do.
There are too many other offers to mention (pretty much like my example) being added to the forum everyday but people cant be arsed to look for them.
Oh and you did mention your profile/pics but I'm not going to get into another argument with you about that one. We'll just let that one lie hey! blink

28 Aug 2011

Quote by starlightcouple
we still stand by the fact that it is not the fact we have no pictures that do not get us the meets, but the fact that maybe we are to fussy. we are not the only peeple on here who have trouble finding the right kind of meets as we will not just shag the first peeple that show an interest, maybe that is where we are going wrong :dunno:

First and foremost, You are not going wrong if you have set criteria. In fact I would argue that your going wrong if you do shag someone just for the sake of it.
I totally agree with the sentiment that the number of members is misleading, but unfortunately it is true that 1303000+ profiles have been set up at some point, even if they are inactive now.
Ass for our own personal story, well you'd think it would be easy to get a single male under 25 wouln't you? Well unfortunately not and this is where we totally sympathise with the OP's post.
We get numerous approaches from men saying 'I don't meet your criteria but I look a lot younger than my age' etc etc. And what? you want us to leap into bed with you even though you clearly know we aren't looking for someone like you?
Too many people think that a wink, a whisper or a random email will make knickers magically fall off!
And those same people are the ones that then moan that the site is crap etc etc.

28 Aug 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
It has been said many times and by many people that the figures on the home page are very misleading as there are lots of profiles counted that are not active and haven't been active for a long time and I totally agree with you! Not much we, as members can do about that though hey.
I also totally agree with you that you should not meet anyone who does not meet your criteria.
I fear that you have not understood what the original post was about though. I was saying that there are far too many people on here who seem to expect the swinging world to come to them while they sit and do absolutely nothing. Of course I wasn't meaning you personally.
As in my example above, we advertised twice in the forum that we were having a party. This morning in chat lots of people said that they would have come if they'd have known about it. It was there, they only had to look! They then asked me to keep them in mind for next time, therefore expecting a personal message inviting them to a party which I refuse to do.

There are too many other offers to mention (pretty much like my example) being added to the forum everyday but people cant be arsed to look for them.
Oh and you did mention your profile/pics but I'm not going to get into another argument with you about that one. We'll just let that one lie hey!

The bit in bold above, you are actualy bang on the money. As a past social/munch host on this site I have learned this is. The succesful events sexual or not will be organised via the chat rooms and yes they do expect to be informed. Not many of them actually come out of the chat room to check the LMU the word is spread in chat and then they check the LMU. If you want to host and for it to be a success or a large success then you need to be well known in the chat rooms or people wont attend unless you also get the backing of someone who is well known in chat. If you take a look you will see that virtually all of the largest events have been hosted by Chat room regulars. Its also all a bit Tom Dick and harry will come if Sharon and Tracey do but if Sharon and Tracey drop out so do Tom Dick and Harry lol

This is shy I said past Social/munch host as I wouldent host another here. First I just dont want to spend 2-3 hours of my day in chat. Second I can host a social or attend a social and have 100 people Ive never met on the list. It does not bother me I'll have a laugh with anyone and always up for meeting new people so its all good. Thats not the case for a lot of members here. Its all studying the list and seeing who drops in and out, I cant be arsed with that.
Sorry for the slight hijack smile

29 Aug 2011

Quote by starlightcouple
mrs star will not play with guys that are over weight and there are a lot of guys who think that 16 stone is slim.

Mike Tindall is 16 stone and he looks quite slim and is very fit.. Just ask Zara!

29 Aug 2011

i think the under 25's are doing well enough within their own generations. they are doing more downage as well. they don't really need to look upage.

29 Aug 2011

Good point, guess it's time to give up then.

29 Aug 2011

Quote by GnV
mrs star will not play with guys that are over weight and there are a lot of guys who think that 16 stone is slim.

Mike Tindall is 16 stone and he looks quite slim and is very fit.. Just ask Zara!

this kind of thing. :twisted:
take my point? :lol:

29 Aug 2011

Quote by Trevaunance
we still stand by the fact that it is not the fact we have no pictures that do not get us the meets, but the fact that maybe we are to fussy. we are not the only peeple on here who have trouble finding the right kind of meets as we will not just shag the first peeple that show an interest, maybe that is where we are going wrong :dunno:

First and foremost, You are not going wrong if you have set criteria. In fact I would argue that your going wrong if you do shag someone just for the sake of it.
I totally agree with the sentiment that the number of members is misleading, but unfortunately it is true that 1303000+ profiles have been set up at some point, even if they are inactive now.
Ass for our own personal story, well you'd think it would be easy to get a single male under 25 wouln't you? Well unfortunately not and this is where we totally sympathise with the OP's post.
We get numerous approaches from men saying 'I don't meet your criteria but I look a lot younger than my age' etc etc. And what? you want us to leap into bed with you even though you clearly know we aren't looking for someone like you?
Too many people think that a wink, a whisper or a random email will make knickers magically fall off!
And those same people are the ones that then moan that the site is crap etc etc.
Just for the record, you have quoted me but it wasnt me who said that, it was starlightcouple lol

29 Aug 2011

Quote by tweeky

It has been said many times and by many people that the figures on the home page are very misleading as there are lots of profiles counted that are not active and haven't been active for a long time and I totally agree with you! Not much we, as members can do about that though hey.
I also totally agree with you that you should not meet anyone who does not meet your criteria.
I fear that you have not understood what the original post was about though. I was saying that there are far too many people on here who seem to expect the swinging world to come to them while they sit and do absolutely nothing. Of course I wasn't meaning you personally.
As in my example above, we advertised twice in the forum that we were having a party. This morning in chat lots of people said that they would have come if they'd have known about it. It was there, they only had to look! They then asked me to keep them in mind for next time, therefore expecting a personal message inviting them to a party which I refuse to do.

There are too many other offers to mention (pretty much like my example) being added to the forum everyday but people cant be arsed to look for them.
Oh and you did mention your profile/pics but I'm not going to get into another argument with you about that one. We'll just let that one lie hey!

The bit in bold above, you are actualy bang on the money. As a past social/munch host on this site I have learned this is. The succesful events sexual or not will be organised via the chat rooms and yes they do expect to be informed. Not many of them actually come out of the chat room to check the LMU the word is spread in chat and then they check the LMU. If you want to host and for it to be a success or a large success then you need to be well known in the chat rooms or people wont attend unless you also get the backing of someone who is well known in chat. If you take a look you will see that virtually all of the largest events have been hosted by Chat room regulars. Its also all a bit Tom Dick and harry will come if Sharon and Tracey do but if Sharon and Tracey drop out so do Tom Dick and Harry lol

This is shy I said past Social/munch host as I wouldent host another here. First I just dont want to spend 2-3 hours of my day in chat. Second I can host a social or attend a social and have 100 people Ive never met on the list. It does not bother me I'll have a laugh with anyone and always up for meeting new people so its all good. Thats not the case for a lot of members here. Its all studying the list and seeing who drops in and out, I cant be arsed with that.
Sorry for the slight hijack smile

I don't see that as a hijack, its a fair point and pretty much the same as the example I gave.
I am a regular in the chatrooms and at various socials so am pretty well known on the site, but for a private party, I don't want to go around inviting people. Yes there would be the one or two that I would send a personal invite but if I decided exactly who I wanted to come then it could cause some people nose being put out of joint "Where's my invite? got one!" We would also end up with everyone that we know going and parties like that turn into a social. We've seen it happen numerous times and that ain't the type of party we were trying to arrange! :twisted:
Organising any event is hard enough work as it is without the added hassle of finding people to attend. As I see it, you should advertise the event and people should then come to you for an invite. That is exactly what I did on this site and another one and as I said, the party was populated from the other site and was very successful. People here just don't look for opportunities and then complain that it's the site's failing! Beats me!! dunno

29 Aug 2011

Thoughtful and well considered posts.
As a would be party goer, I am a little bit reticent about throwing my hat into the ring when I see events advertised.
I worry that they may not be my thing, I worry that they may be cliquey, I worry about getting the bums rush.
So the chances of us responding to a play event even when we know the hosts are minimal.
But then I am pretty shit at putting meself forward full stop and minx is even worse.
This isn't a plea for acceptance simply a sharing of my considerations.

29 Aug 2011

Quote by Ben_Minx
Thoughtful and well considered posts.
As a would be party goer, I am a little bit reticent about throwing my hat into the ring when I see events advertised.
I worry that they may not be my thing, I worry that they may be cliquey, I worry about getting the bums rush.
So the chances of us responding to a play event even when we know the hosts are minimal.
But then I am pretty shit at putting meself forward full stop and minx is even worse.
This isn't a plea for acceptance simply a sharing of my considerations.

The type of people you are, you would fit in pretty much anywhere! You're lovely!! I do understand where you're coming from though. We once attended a party where the majority of the guests were a little (not massively) younger than us. With the age gap not being overly massive, we thought it would be ok but they acted like pissed up teenagers all night and I couldn't get out of there quick enough! You live and learn hey. We now don't play with anyone under 30 lol

I do think that many folks who have spent a lot of time on here seem to have a certain mindset. Not sure why. We have been approached by many people who we know from this site for a meet but instead of sending a message on here, they send one on 'the other site' saying "Hi, we're from SH. Do you fancy a meet?" Why not send a message here?

29 Aug 2011

we must admit at being pissed off with the email asking what your into and looking for .
you email explaining what your looking for and into which seems to get ignored for a do you wanna full fill our fantasy instead email
and when you think you found some middle ground the sinister undertone is then mailed
a private party organised in a posh house @ x amount of pounds per couple and not even a proper meet
total turn off throw the towel in moment
the last one was a particular piss off as we`d told another couple we was allready arranging a meet
as we only get to meet a couple of times a year its to say the least irritating :fuckinghell:

29 Aug 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
..... that lots of people think that they can just sit back, do nothing and swinging opportunities will come to them.
We hear only too often in the forums and in chat "Why can't we get a meet?" and "Does anyone on here play?" Well, yes they do! There are so many offers in the lets meet up forum from couples and singles alike who are advertising where and when they want to play and yet so many of these adverts have no responses!
We advertised twice in the lets meet up forum for a couples party we were holding on Friday. Only one reply, unfortunately from a single guy.
We did have a fantastic party (which was populated from couples from another site) but when I was talking about it in chat this morning so many people said "Oh if we'd have known ......" and "Let us know when you hold another one, we'll defo be there!" Errrrrrm, I don't think so!!
This site does work and it works well when people actually look for opportunities and do something about it!
Don't blame the site, it's not the site that doesn't work, it's many of the members that don't work! If everyone was to wait for people to come to them, nobody would get to play!
Rant over!

We knew about your party and wanted to come too. Unfortunately we've had some rather dire family stuff to deal with so we had to sit on our hands and keep our mouths shut. We couldn't attend the play party the T's (the one after the one where we saw you last) arranged either.
So we're double gutted.

29 Aug 2011

Quote by Mr_Lilly
..... that lots of people think that they can just sit back, do nothing and swinging opportunities will come to them.
We hear only too often in the forums and in chat "Why can't we get a meet?" and "Does anyone on here play?" Well, yes they do! There are so many offers in the lets meet up forum from couples and singles alike who are advertising where and when they want to play and yet so many of these adverts have no responses!
We advertised twice in the lets meet up forum for a couples party we were holding on Friday. Only one reply, unfortunately from a single guy.
We did have a fantastic party (which was populated from couples from another site) but when I was talking about it in chat this morning so many people said "Oh if we'd have known ......" and "Let us know when you hold another one, we'll defo be there!" Errrrrrm, I don't think so!!
This site does work and it works well when people actually look for opportunities and do something about it!
Don't blame the site, it's not the site that doesn't work, it's many of the members that don't work! If everyone was to wait for people to come to them, nobody would get to play!
Rant over!

We knew about your party and wanted to come too. Unfortunately we've had some rather dire family stuff to deal with so we had to sit on our hands and keep our mouths shut. We couldn't attend the play party the T's (the one after the one where we saw you last) arranged either.
So we're double gutted.
There's always other times hey.
Hope everything with the family sorts itself out x

29 Aug 2011

Quote by Funlovers2009
Thoughtful and well considered posts.
As a would be party goer, I am a little bit reticent about throwing my hat into the ring when I see events advertised.
I worry that they may not be my thing, I worry that they may be cliquey, I worry about getting the bums rush.
So the chances of us responding to a play event even when we know the hosts are minimal.
But then I am pretty shit at putting meself forward full stop and minx is even worse.
This isn't a plea for acceptance simply a sharing of my considerations.

The type of people you are, you would fit in pretty much anywhere! You're lovely!! I do understand where you're coming from though. We once attended a party where the majority of the guests were a little (not massively) younger than us. With the age gap not being overly massive, we thought it would be ok but they acted like pissed up teenagers all night and I couldn't get out of there quick enough! You live and learn hey. We now don't play with anyone under 30 lol

I do think that many folks who have spent a lot of time on here seem to have a certain mindset. Not sure why. We have been approached by many people who we know from this site for a meet but instead of sending a message on here, they send one on 'the other site' saying "Hi, we're from SH. Do you fancy a meet?" Why not send a message here?
Its exactly as you say the mindset. The mindset is things over there work and here they dont. Stupid I know but guess people just get stuck thinking that way.