Jiggle & Bilko for auction NOW!!

1 May 2005

Quote by easy
does easy have a cute bum tho
where is sgt i still need recusing
helpppppppppppp

*runs round in circles trying to check out his own ass*
dunno

Your not runing anywhere, your tied to a lampost!!!!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Its no wonder im not getting any bids on you. If i dont get an offer before 7pm im going to leave you here overnight!! flipa

:flipa: :flipa: :flipa:
Someone bid please. Even if it's Venus. lol

Come on come on special end of day sale!! All goods reduced. Who will bid for EAsy? Slightly worn but in good condition for year of manyfacturer!!!
Anyone will do not fussy hwere i send him too,dosnt matter what your preferances are, he cant escape!!(and he knows some big words!!)
:eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek:

1 May 2005

well youll have to be careful as you roll over cos i just wrapped your feet in a towel to keep them warm and open feeling, cool

back it is then. i might even put some of that whale noise shit on in the background, i had one off a guy once who put that on and it was the biznits.
i'll be spending considerable time on the lumbar region and the shoulder blade area. deep thumb action again i'm afraid rolleyes

1 May 2005

Right that's it!
I'm not being sold off as some bargain basement reject. evil

I'm off for a soak in the jacuzzi bath and to eat chockolate orange ice-cream. :evil:

1 May 2005

Quote by easy
Right that's it!
I'm not being sold off as some bargain basement reject.
I'm off for a soak in the jacuzzi bath and to eat chockolate orange ice-cream. :evil:

look mr clever cloggs your handcuffed to a lamp post, be gratefull that i havnt gagged you as well!!!! whip

and like the rest of the m youll go where your told.
You know ive a good mind to keep you mysefl overnight if your not sold and realy sort you out!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

1 May 2005

Quote by 300andy
well youll have to be careful as you roll over cos i just wrapped your feet in a towel to keep them warm and open feeling,
back it is then. i might even put some of that whale noise shit on in the background, i had one off a guy once who put that on and it was the biznits.
i'll be spending considerable time on the lumbar region and the shoulder blade area. deep thumb action again i'm afraid

ohhhhhhhhhh arrrrrrrrrrrrr thats so good :D might even set you free for doing a good job.
then watch out momf its your turn to satisfie me, it may take all night, so i hope your upto it wink

:D

1 May 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
Right that's it!
I'm not being sold off as some bargain basement reject.
I'm off for a soak in the jacuzzi bath and to eat chockolate orange ice-cream. :evil:

look mr clever cloggs your handcuffed to a lamp post, be gratefull that i havnt gagged you as well!!!! whip

and like the rest of the m youll go where your told.
You know ive a good mind to keep you mysefl overnight if your not sold and realy sort you out!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
easy
you could always clamber up the lampost and get free!
Jiggle

1 May 2005

ok thats it, 7pm and Easy is left on the shelf, (well lampost) till tomorrow.
Im gojng to do a bit of scouting around see who else there is worth kidnaping. If you would like to offer yourself or someone else please leave me a message, also all part exs welcome but they must be in good condition and not too tired!!I Iwill pay a good price to anyone who can capture Sgt Bilko , as i have a buyer waiting!!
As for Easy If you want to make a bid, however low, pleas do so i dont like carrying stock over, oh and ill throw in the lamp post for free!!!

1 May 2005

oi jiggle dont give him ideas lol

:lol: :lol:

1 May 2005

Quote by cuddly-catlin
ohhhhhhhhhh arrrrrrrrrrrrr

it says chesterfield but that sounds distinctly west cuunnerrry to me my lover biggrin

1 May 2005

Quote by 300andy

ohhhhhhhhhh arrrrrrrrrrrrr

it says chesterfield but that sounds distinctly west cuunnerrry to me my lover biggrin

you finished my back rub yet :D :D :D
got to sort momf out for a night of passion wink

:D

1 May 2005

yeah i'm just slowing down to that feather touch thing so there isnt a specific end.
should set you up nice for a night of passion wink

1 May 2005

Quote by 300andy
yeah i'm just slowing down to that feather touch thing so there isnt a specific end.
should set you up nice for a night of passion

Well looks like youve got a good welcome to sh!!! lol

1 May 2005

Quote by 300andy
yeah i'm just slowing down to that feather touch thing so there isnt a specific end.
should set you up nice for a night of passion

mmmmmmm maybe i should keep you after all :wink:
will let you know in a bit what ive decided biggrin

1 May 2005

well, you know where i am biggrin

1 May 2005

ok andy i release you of your dutys.
but can i have another massage next week biggrin

:D :D

1 May 2005

t'would be a pleasure

1 May 2005

Right I'm back after my spa bath and choccy ice-cream.
I'm clean, powdered and generally in tip-top condition so who's the lucky small group of ladies who managed to get the goldfish togeth.................. :shock:
NO ONE

I'm obviously unwanted then. I can't believe that nobody wants a healthy (although carrying a few extra pounds), lovable, 30-something in almost full working order.
sad

:( :( :( :( :(
It's times like this you find out who your friends are. flipa

1 May 2005

*chucks in 10 pretty goldfish and a tank*
There you are Easy, all is well with the world...
*little gem adds Easy to her collection cupboard*
Mmmm, you'll be right at home in there with Neil. Just don't bend down for the soap! ;)

1 May 2005

Quote by little gem
*chucks in 10 pretty goldfish and a tank*
There you are Easy, all is well with the world...
*little gem adds Easy to her collection cupboard*
Mmmm, you'll be right at home in there with Neil. Just don't bend down for the soap! ;)

Thank you for buying the easy model of male.
We recommend you do the following to keep your new easy in the best possible condition.
1) Invest in some gym equipment. this particular model gets very agressive if it isn't allowed to exercise at least once a week.
2) DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE UNATTENDED CHOCOLATE AROUND. This particular model can get through 3 1Kg bars if allowed to.
3) This model must have at least 8 hours UNINTERUPTED sleep each night. It must not be allowed to come into contact with any other models that may snore.
4) Although relatively cheap to keep, this model will require at least one cooked meal a day.
5) Drink. This model does not have to drink alcohol, but if allowed, will. Usuall to exccess and could make a show of itself and embarass you at the most inoppertune moment.
6) This model is highly loyal and faithfull. The downside is that it could intimidate other potential models you may be considering adding to your collection.
7) This model MUST be allowed access to a PC for at least 4 hours a day. failure to do so will result in a complete failure of this model.
8) This particular model will require Satuday off to go and work on friends car.
Once again, thank you for choosing the easy model of male. This model has a 5M (mile or minutes whichever comes first) warranty. for after sales service please contact Countess via SH.
easy corp.

1 May 2005

Fluck,
Knew it was a bit of shite deal! should have known that when it got to page 10 and you still weren't sold! rolleyes

<ffs>
Why do I jump into these purchases? confused

Compared to you, the other members in my collection are quite unfussy and easy to please.
<pah>
Can I have a refund?

1 May 2005

Quote by little gem
Fluck,
Knew it was a bit of shite deal! should have known that when it got to page 10 and you still weren't sold!
<ffs>
Why do I jump into these purchases? Compared to you, the other members in my collection are quite unfussy and easy to please.
<pah>
Can I have a refund?

:cry:
Sorry no refunds!
Foxy does part ex though.
Looks like back on the shelf for this male :violin: :violin:
Until Countess gets home and I have to go back to my airing cupboard.

1 May 2005

Awww, now I feel all sorry for ya.
Sid ot, I'll keep ya for a while! biggrin

Just for a small bit until the countess returns.
kiss

Gem. x
not drinking... honestly! redface

1 May 2005

Gem I've got half a glass of wine left from lunch time, 3 tin foil cases of the jam tarts, some cold parsnip and 3 half sucked tic-tacs
Any chance I can borrow easy at the end of the week?
Please?
I'll chuck in one finger of Twix?

1 May 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I'll chuck in one finger of Twix?

I'll have that. :mrgreen:
Gem, rent me out. there's bound to be more choccy at Dawns wink

1 May 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Gem I've got half a glass of wine left from lunch time, 3 tin foil cases of the jam tarts, some cold parsnip and 3 half sucked tic-tacs
Any chance I can borrow easy at the end of the week?
Please?
I'll chuck in one finger of Twix?

Sold! :smug:
It was the finger of twix that did it Dawn. I am on a chocie bender right now and can't seem to satisfy the craving. sad

That is why Easy has to be loaned out, can't have him scoffing my chocolate stash now can I ? confused

1 May 2005

Quote by little gem
Gem I've got half a glass of wine left from lunch time, 3 tin foil cases of the jam tarts, some cold parsnip and 3 half sucked tic-tacs
Any chance I can borrow easy at the end of the week?
Please?
I'll chuck in one finger of Twix?

Sold! :smug:
It was the finger of twis that did it Dawn. I am on a chocie bender right now and can't seem to satisfy the craving. sad

That is why Easy has to be loaned out, can't have him scoffing my chocolate stash now can I ? confused

Gotta be quicker than that Gem lol

1 May 2005

Quote by easy
I'll have that. :mrgreen:
Gem, rent me out. there's bound to be more choccy at Dawns

Latest news flash
EASY BECOMES A RENT BOY !!! lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

1 May 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I'll have that. :mrgreen:
Gem, rent me out. there's bound to be more choccy at Dawns

Latest news flash
EASY BECOMES A RENT BOY !!! lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
SHHHHH
Not so bloody loud FFS.
Countess might still be about. I need to pay off the money I spent getting rid of her this weekend. rolleyes

1 May 2005

Quote by easy
Gotta be quicker than that Gem

Ungrateful swine! I'm going as fast as I lfucking well can and all you do is moan moan moan! mad

Tell you what.... Dawn can have you! I don't want the finger of fudge, twix, dairy milk or anyother cocoa products which are ab' delicious and making me slobber all over my keyborad as I type.
:x
There was I taking pity on you, poor Easy, :x Grrr and the plan all the time was to make me into a low down and dirty pimp, renting you out for the offer of confectionary goods!
Shame on you all! :x
:cry: <sniff> Look, you have reduced me to snivles now! Ya bastards! the lot of ya!
sad

/flounces

1 May 2005

Gem I've got an unopend 300g block of DairyMilk and 2/3s of a tub of Hagen-Das Chocolate orange ice-cream stashed away if you're interested?
Oh and half a bottle of Southern Comfort and a full bottle of JD wink

Plus some rum that I could run my car with :shock: