Quote by Silk and Big G
Your over zealousness proves that although qualified , not suitable.
OK try me!
Give me a scenario - I'll sort it.
I'm a lovey dovey happy slapping happy cat
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Just an Idea
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Sex God
okey dokey .
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
Quote by Silk and Big G
okey dokey .
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
Ok
I have thought it through, spoke to the wife, and she said " Winston, tell her to move in with us on the Humberside Riveria until she gets used to the heat, she can cook and clean all hours of the day!"
Hope this helps!
Sex God
Fair enough you have the job .
Sex God
Have you seen my keys ??
Sex God
Cheers mate , i was beginning to worry id have to play with me lego instead :-)
Sex God
Quote by Silk and Big G
okey dokey .
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
OK 3 problems here and in no particular order 1) Factor 20; 2) anal lube (don't ask why I just wanted to say it) and 3) close yer eyes when yer in the carpark like most women do. ( :scared: )
Oh and Doctor Davej, I have a problem. How do I remove this sock from me mouth after stuffin' it in to stop me waking up the whole house in fits of laughter at in the morning!!???? Classic!
Thanks Katie_n_John for your gift to SH.
Sex God
Quote by westerross
Oh and Doctor Davej, I have a problem. How do I remove this sock from me mouth after stuffin' it in to stop me waking up the whole house in fits of laughter at in the morning!!???? Classic!
Thanks Katie_n_John for your gift to SH.
Dear Mr Tune,
yours is a classic problem for many of the inmates in the cafe. The quickest way to loosen and then remove the sock, is to wriggle the foot that will still be inside it..
NEXT!!
Sex God
Quote by Silk and Big G
Have you seen my keys ??
yes
next!!
Sex God
Quote by Silk and Big G
okey dokey .
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
I will say from the outset that yours is the most complex problem that has come up and one that I am not qualified to answer, therefore I will only observe that from what you have said ,you and your husband are at least talking about the problem and as the old saying goes "a problem shared is a problem halved" thus in a way, we have already acheived a reduction in the number of men in your gang bang fantasy by 50%. I do see a problem with these maths if your original number of gang bangers was an odd number because half a man is difficult to find, I can only think of one that truely fits the description by the name of Centaur, but then we would be adding beastiality into the equation further complicating things and besides, he resides on one of the Greek islands and doesn't travel. I would therefore suggest substituting a dwarf as a compromise.
As you can see, by sharing and halving the problem, we have thus far, succedeed in reducing the number of guys in your gang bang from several (which I have taken to be seven) down to the three black guys and a dwarf.
Your aversion to your husbands need to recieve a blow job in a car park, is one that you will need to live with, but if you combine actioning both your fantasies at the same time, there is every chance that the spit roasting you will recieve will prevent you from viewing your husbands pleasure, as there is a strong possibility that your gonna spend a fair amount of time with a pair of gonads blocking your eye line anyway.
I wouldn't suggest that you take any money from your gang bangers as this smacks of prostitution and will make both of you feel bad. I do see the possibility given the fact that we now have a very mixed bag of people taking part ,of turning this into a pay per view event and with a small lay out of cash from yourselves, for the hire of two stilt walking jugglers, a unicyclist, a tight rope walker and a guy with ginger hair, a red nose ,driving a car with doors that fall off at the honk of his horn, you may well have the makings of a money spinning event to fund your Spanish bar purchase.
As for your sunburn problem........pinch the tight rope walkers 'balance'parasol before you leave the car park.
Quote by davej
okey dokey .
Im a married woman , who wants a gangbang with several men , preferably black . My husband is not that happy about the idea but hes willing to try it just for me as long as I allow his idea of watching him being sucked off by a transvestite in a carpark , even though the idea doesnt appeal to me at all .
I feel disgusted with myself every time I have a ganbang , but I love it when the men grunt and pull me about and hurt me . Its degrading and sometimes i cry afterwards , but my husband says the best thing to do would be to start charging for it then we could buy that bar in Spain hes always wanted . I cant stand the heat and burn really easily . What shall I do ?
I will say from the outset that yours is the most complex problem that has come up and one that I am not qualified to answer, therefore I will only observe that from what you have said ,you and your husband are at least talking about the problem and as the old saying goes "a problem shared is a problem halved" thus in a way, we have already acheived a reduction in the number of men in your gang bang fantasy by 50%. I do see a problem with these maths if your original number of gang bangers was an odd number because half a man is difficult to find, I can only think of one that truely fits the description by the name of Centaur, but then we would be adding beastiality into the equation further complicating things and besides, he resides on one of the Greek islands and doesn't travel. I would therefore suggest substituting a dwarf as a compromise.
As you can see, by sharing and halving the problem, we have thus far, succedeed in reducing the number of guys in your gang bang from several (which I have taken to be seven) down to the three black guys and a dwarf.
Your aversion to your husbands need to recieve a blow job in a car park, is one that you will need to live with, but if you combine actioning both your fantasies at the same time, there is every chance that the spit roasting you will recieve will prevent you from viewing your husbands pleasure, as there is a strong possibility that your gonna spend a fair amount of time with a pair of gonads blocking your eye line anyway.
I wouldn't suggest that you take any money from your gang bangers as this smacks of prostitution and will make both of you feel bad. I do see the possibility given the fact that we now have a very mixed bag of people taking part ,of turning this into a pay per view event and with a small lay out of cash from yourselves, for the hire of two stilt walking jugglers, a unicyclist, a tight rope walker and a guy with ginger hair, a red nose ,driving a car with doors that fall off at the honk of his horn, you may well have the makings of a money spinning event to fund your Spanish bar purchase.
As for your sunburn problem........pinch the tight rope walkers 'balance'parasol before you leave the car park.
Wishmaster's Five Point Plan to remedy your dilemma:
(Doesn't include remedies for preventing sunburn coz the sun is dangerous and you shouldn't be trying to look like an old leather bag anyway
)1). Fuck off to Spain .........
2). Buy your bar..
3). Shag the locals (who are kinda dark skinned anyway) .. so you get ur fantasy 'ish
4). Let your hubby do his own thang! .....on the beach at 4am (I've seen the action down there ... stepped on one bloke's arse and this female voice went 'Fanx Mate!!!' - in a broad Essex accent!!!).......
5). Send the dwarf back to Hobiton (coz they are half sized everything so think how useless it's dick would be)
Sex God
Quote by Debbiewebs
Also i would like some one to help me with me Passion i feel for 2 peeps on here
Awwww Debs, you only had to say girl!!!
ops: 
Here's an aspirin for that head of yours. 
Sex God
Davej
your very eloquent answer to Silk & Big G has caused me to have my own worries. If Silky is having one dwarf, which one will it be? And is it a bit sick of me to want to have all the others.? I'm also worried about how to stop getting snot all over me when the inevitable happens with Sneezy. Would I be better with a cloth hanky on my face or should I fashion some kind of nosebag for him?
your very eloquent answer to Silk & Big G has caused me to have my own worries. If Silky is having one dwarf, which one will it be? And is it a bit sick of me to want to have all the others.? I'm also worried about how to stop getting snot all over me when the inevitable happens with Sneezy. Would I be better with a cloth hanky on my face or should I fashion some kind of nosebag for him?
Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
Davej
your very eloquent answer to Silk & Big G has caused me to have my own worries. If Silky is having one dwarf, which one will it be? And is it a bit sick of me to want to have all the others.? I'm also worried about how to stop getting snot all over me when the inevitable happens with Sneezy. Would I be better with a cloth hanky on my face or should I fashion some kind of nosebag for him?
Ah Bev you've answered your own question.......work Sneezy onto Silk, let her put up with the snot.
Your concerns over wanting the other six, is just that ....your concerns, I'm sure it won't bother them. As I seem to recall that they are all miners by trade and are therefore adept at working in deep, dark, cavernous holes, although the ineviatable canary in a cage that they will wedge up yer box as an early warning for gas, may well make you flinch.
Sex God
Quote by davej
Oh and Doctor Davej, I have a problem. How do I remove this sock from me mouth after stuffin' it in to stop me waking up the whole house in fits of laughter at in the morning!!???? Classic!
Thanks Katie_n_John for your gift to SH.
Dear Mr Tune,
yours is a classic problem for many of the inmates in the cafe. The quickest way to loosen and then remove the sock, is to wriggle the foot that will still be inside it..
NEXT!!
Oi!!! I resent the implications of that piece of advice - even more than the suggestion that I take on the persona of a crab-apple tree
:lol: :lol: I was cured of foot-in-mouth disease at yesterday morning.
If you want a future in this job - you'll have to treat the punters with more consideration methinks!!
Sex God
Quote by westerross
Oh and Doctor Davej, I have a problem. How do I remove this sock from me mouth after stuffin' it in to stop me waking up the whole house in fits of laughter at in the morning!!???? Classic!
Thanks Katie_n_John for your gift to SH.
Dear Mr Tune,
yours is a classic problem for many of the inmates in the cafe. The quickest way to loosen and then remove the sock, is to wriggle the foot that will still be inside it..
NEXT!!
Oi!!! I resent the implications of that piece of advice - even more than the suggestion that I take on the persona of a crab-apple tree
:lol: :lol: I was cured of foot-in-mouth disease at yesterday morning.
If you want a future in this job - you'll have to treat the punters with more consideration methinks!!
Yes as you cleverly spotted their was a hidden suggestion of 'foot in the mouth' disease, but as you will have equally seen, my advice was also guarded with the word equivelant of a smiley emoticon whereby I dragged a third and unknown party into the post (on this occasion other unspecified cafe members) as a way of deflecting my accusations ooops prognosis.... onto a wider audiance, thus enabling you to feel part of a larger problem rather than one that had centered upon your shoulder and your shoulder alone (it was the training at med. school don't ya know). It was very subtle, but as a result you would have felt better about yourself.
As for you demand that I treat the punters with more consideration I can only say.....fuck em,.... they came to my door and they rang my bell, they are the ones with the problems not I.
Doctor Dave, your problems solved with the tap of a finger and the snap of a gossamar glove.
NEXT!!
Sex God
Quote by davej
Yes as you cleverly spotted their was a hidden suggestion of 'foot in the mouth' disease, but as you will have equally seen, my advice was also guarded with the word equivelant of a smiley emoticon whereby I dragged a third and unknown party into the post (on this occasion other unspecified cafe members) as a way of deflecting my accusations ooops prognosis.... onto a wider audiance, thus enabling you to feel part of a larger problem rather than one that had centered upon your shoulder and your shoulder alone (it was the training at med. school don't ya know). It was very subtle, but as a result you would have felt better about yourself.
As for you demand that I treat the punters with more consideration I can only say.....fuck em,.... they came to my door and they rang my bell, they are the ones with the problems not I.
Doctor Dave, your problems solved with the tap of a finger and the snap of a gossamar glove.
NEXT!!
In the face of such irrefutable logic
and hoping that the venerable Doctor's reference to other members of SH might deflect the anger of some, TE puts socks on both feet and stuffs 'em in his mouth (not an easy task when yer trying to get yer head up yer arse as the venerable D will testify.) Sex God
dear agony aunt / uncle.
Now that the summer is upon us, it is very likely that I will be wanting to drive around with the roof of my car down. The problem that I experianced in mrs davej's convertible last year when the heavens opened and the roof of her car refused to rise from the boot, turning the car into a mobile paddling pool is long past and not one that will bother me cos I've got me own anyways, which to date has never failed to work correctly. However I have suffered other negatives with the vehicle and was wondering if this is common and if I should either stay with this model of vehicle, or cut my losses and return to a hard top.
Thus far this year, whilst driving with the roof down,I have suffered two counts of verbal abuse, whilst waiting in traffic ,from nasty people in vans and one count of 'fly tipping' again from the passenger side of a transit van, whereby the occupant leant out of his window and within earshot of passers by screamed, ......"ere! fat c**t whats an old prick like you doing driving around in that yer fuckin wanker" ....before tossing the empty containers that held both his and his mates happy meals and drinks, into my car, accompanied by more abuse and hand gestures. This was witnessed by pedestrians and other motorists, who seemed to find it amusing further adding to my embarrassment. I found this last incident the worst yet and the fact that niether of these hairy arsed apes, had bothered to finish either their drinks or the curry sauce dips for their fries, meant that I had to then clean the interior of my vehicle, fortunately none of this food residue hit me, but I can see a time in the future where this may well happen.
A second downside I've noticed is with my ears or to be more precise, my ear lobes. I've seen hair being blown around in these vehicles, but I shave my head so thats no problem, but I am very conscious that once I hit 68mph, my earlobes start to flap and quite violently at that, now if I can clearly see this then so can others, again I find it embarrasing, even more so if they are still red with embarrassment after being fly tipped, if you've seen the wing tips of commercial aicraft with the red flashing lights on them then you will realise how I look when this happens.
My third downside, is a direct result of my shaving my head. I've just spent a week slapping creams onto my napper, after a two hour journey burnt it to a frazzle, with the resultant peeling and soreness that comes with this type of burn. I've tried on various hats, but I've never looked good in a hat anyway, so I can't find one to suit, I'm also conscious that the more of my head and facial features that I hide, the more prominant the uncovered bits become, which then makes me drive slower because of the ear problem highlighted above
basically should I jack it in and get a Fiesta.
Now that the summer is upon us, it is very likely that I will be wanting to drive around with the roof of my car down. The problem that I experianced in mrs davej's convertible last year when the heavens opened and the roof of her car refused to rise from the boot, turning the car into a mobile paddling pool is long past and not one that will bother me cos I've got me own anyways, which to date has never failed to work correctly. However I have suffered other negatives with the vehicle and was wondering if this is common and if I should either stay with this model of vehicle, or cut my losses and return to a hard top.
Thus far this year, whilst driving with the roof down,I have suffered two counts of verbal abuse, whilst waiting in traffic ,from nasty people in vans and one count of 'fly tipping' again from the passenger side of a transit van, whereby the occupant leant out of his window and within earshot of passers by screamed, ......"ere! fat c**t whats an old prick like you doing driving around in that yer fuckin wanker" ....before tossing the empty containers that held both his and his mates happy meals and drinks, into my car, accompanied by more abuse and hand gestures. This was witnessed by pedestrians and other motorists, who seemed to find it amusing further adding to my embarrassment. I found this last incident the worst yet and the fact that niether of these hairy arsed apes, had bothered to finish either their drinks or the curry sauce dips for their fries, meant that I had to then clean the interior of my vehicle, fortunately none of this food residue hit me, but I can see a time in the future where this may well happen.
A second downside I've noticed is with my ears or to be more precise, my ear lobes. I've seen hair being blown around in these vehicles, but I shave my head so thats no problem, but I am very conscious that once I hit 68mph, my earlobes start to flap and quite violently at that, now if I can clearly see this then so can others, again I find it embarrasing, even more so if they are still red with embarrassment after being fly tipped, if you've seen the wing tips of commercial aicraft with the red flashing lights on them then you will realise how I look when this happens.
My third downside, is a direct result of my shaving my head. I've just spent a week slapping creams onto my napper, after a two hour journey burnt it to a frazzle, with the resultant peeling and soreness that comes with this type of burn. I've tried on various hats, but I've never looked good in a hat anyway, so I can't find one to suit, I'm also conscious that the more of my head and facial features that I hide, the more prominant the uncovered bits become, which then makes me drive slower because of the ear problem highlighted above
basically should I jack it in and get a Fiesta.
Sex God
Quote by davej
basically should I jack it in and get a Fiesta.
NEXT!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Sex God
Getta hat that covers the whole car FFS- covers yer ears as well!!
