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Kate Calls Jag's Bluff

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Trust you enjoy it nice and firm!!!
Gmanxxxx
Well - it is what I have become accustomed to! wink
so relax and enjoy.....
Gmanxxx
OK - Gman
Shall I turn over - then you can massage THESE!!!!!!!
Note...... at the time of posting I had my 'airbag' avatar up!
Alex...Darling .... much as I care for you so deeply ... ther are some limits to my abilities..... I just hopes you airbags.... needy as I am sure that they are willl scare off un necessary cock pics...
Gmanxxx
Where the hell is everyone.... I really did fancy a game of RISK.... thought that guys would be up for that
but apart from the occasional appearence of the delicious Alex.... place is empty...
will have to get my own Apple juice...
bugger
Gmanxxxx
Did I hear voices in there? It can't be..someone actually in the GFZ? Was empty every time I passed through yesterday, was deathly quiet when I passed through very early this morning on my way into the hills, indeed , I was tempted to nail a sign saying 'Mary Celeste' to the door. Smells like someone has had coffee? -and a faint aroma of chocolate and white cider? Otherwise , dead! Maybe we should re-christen it People Free Zone...Hold on, there's a little kitten dashing about..how sweet. Oh well, may as well go and watch 'Scrapheap Challenge'...
ART!!!!!!
Come here, sit down.
What can I do for you? I am at your beck and call!
My dear Alexandra! How nice to see someone in here! I was beginning to think that some catastrophic event had occurred while I was up on the hills, you know, like some old Charlton Heston film! Some deadly virus wiped everyone out and I was the last one left! Began thinking what I would do, how I would keep the human race going, how I would knock together a super-vehicle from all the deserted cars, and scour the devastated world seeking that elusive last remaining female, so that we could rush into each other's arms and save the species.
Anyway, lo and behold, I bump into you-so the last bit of my daydream is still looming large. And what a lovely sight you are: I like the hat....what does that portcullis badge mean? tell you what Alex, I've covered a fair few miles today, and yes , it was sunny, but it was also blowing a gale up there, turned all the sheep inside out..save shearing them I suppose. So, was dreaming about a nice mug of tea, a bacon butty, maybe a bit of a calf massage, and then, with any luck, we can get down to ensuring the survival of the human race. What d'you think? By the soles of the Fishermen's sandals you look lovely tonight; sit down hear my lovely, and bring one of those Whippet Pies across, I'm starving.....
Quote by artificer
how I would knock together a super-vehicle from all the deserted cars

rotflmao Artificer, you've gone and overdosed on Scrapheap Challenge! I hope you've checked those poor animals haven't blown away! lol
Quote by ARTY
scour the devastated world seeking that elusive last remaining female, so that we could rush into each other's arms and save the species.

Is that supposed to be a compliment???????????????
Art.... She lives in Wigan.... if you want to turn her head.... offer her a meat pie.... they're not called pie eaters for nowt tha knows... try ist and watch her swoon.... but it has to be a pooles pie...
Gmanxxxx
Quote by MISSCHIEF
how I would knock together a super-vehicle from all the deserted cars

rotflmao Artificer, you've gone and overdosed on Scrapheap Challenge! I hope you've checked those poor animals haven't blown away! lol
Yep Misschief, love Scrapheap Challenge; I fair sprinted down the slopes today so that I could be home in time to watch it. As for the sheep..well, they fly quite well really. Tied a long piece of string to the back legs of one or two and had great fun playing 'Chinese Dragon Kites'.
To be honest, in wind like this, they all mob together and stand with their arses to the wind-honestly-looks hilarious. Their way of protecting their vital bits from the low temperature. I get cross when people say sheep are stupid. Far from it, they are actually very intelligent, it's just that they are prone to panic and THEN do stupid things. Just like people really.
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I just love sheep, find them so funny and make a darn sight more noise than a guard dog if a car pulls up!
Chickens are great too! can watch em for ages, from the plump cartoon type to the ones that look like a reincarnation of elvis! it's a wonder I get any work done!
PS I know chickens were nothing to do with the conversation then lol, but I see em both everyday so think of them too whenever I think of sheep.
Misschief.... what on earth do you do.... I used to live in a crofters cottage in Caithness so had Sheep for neighbours, as well as Cattle..... and the odd weasel...
I always found geese to be best guard animals...
scarier than dogs....
Gmanxxxx
Quote by Alexandra
scour the devastated world seeking that elusive last remaining female, so that we could rush into each other's arms and save the species.

Is that supposed to be a compliment???????????????
My dear Alexandra, I think you misunderstand me, you were not the 'last person' I was thinking of: that no longer applies, thank heaven, the world is still safe.
Now then my lovely, reference your query, forgive my abrupt answer but I am mightily weary and gagging for that Whippet Pie. I am known a straightforward lad , so, wrap your lugholes round this:
Anyone that looks as LOVELY as you do has NO need of compliments. If they do, they are either overly self critical , are surrounded by blind men, or live in a land where mirrors have not been invented! There we are Alex, I'm too tired for bullshit, you are gorgeous enough to dazzle a man at fifty paces..so, sit down here, put your arm around my aching shoulders and teach me about life .... lol :lol: :lol:
Ahhhhh Art..... come into my arms you lovely lovely man.
I think one of those statements maybe me!
Quote by MISSCHIEF
I just love sheep

now this sounds more like the talk of the gfz, however there is one slight flaw... the GF part !?!?!?!
Misschief, if you insist on staying here a) return the batteries you nicked from the remote control & b)pick up where sappho left off with my massage :rascal:
One last thing.... why isn't the beer on the table ready for me !? smackbottom
Brumlad.... where the F have you been.... once again I have been all alone.... even had to massage Alex.... rather than she me wink :wink:
hardly a soul around.... no doubt all out shopping with their other halves....
so mate what you been upto...
Gmanxxx
Quote by Alexandra
Ahhhhh Art..... come into my arms you lovely lovely man.
I think one of those statements maybe me!

Quote by Alexandra
Ahhhhh Art..... come into my arms you lovely lovely man.
I think one of those statements maybe me!

3..2...1...Geronimo. Huston , we have lift off.
Now then, where is my map of 'Meat Pie and Whippet country'?? Do I need a visa? No, this'll do, my old copy of George Orwell's 'The Road to Wigan Pier'. Right, bit of diesel in the Land Rover and head North...be gentle Alex, I'm only a poor country boy...
Quote by MISSCHIEF
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I just love sheep, find them so funny and make a darn sight more noise than a guard dog if a car pulls up!
Chickens are great too! can watch em for ages, from the plump cartoon type to the ones that look like a reincarnation of elvis! it's a wonder I get any work done!
PS I know chickens were nothing to do with the conversation then lol, but I see em both everyday so think of them too whenever I think of sheep.

Misschief, I love sheep too: was a Shepherd for quite a while and could tell you tales about sheep that would make you die of laughing. I used to have a 'cade' (orphan) lamb that thought it was a dog and lived with my terriers. Used to split my sides when a visitor came, all the dogs would bark and the lamb would stand there baaaing beligerently!! he also used to jump in the Land Rover and sit on the front seat like Lord Muck. Oh, happy days biggrin :D
gman, alas I have been working hard, now i need to unwind, and wouldn't you know it, the girlies are no where to be seen. It would appear they are failing in their duties, and I feel we should remind them of what's tolerated, and what is not :jagsatwork: :small-print:
I must congratulate sappho for her fine efforts yesterday morning, the coffee, hot fresh croissants and massage were very much appreciated, however it would appear that standards have certainly slipped in the GFZ.
I mean the place almost looks respectable :eeek: There's no mouldy pizza, no empty beer bottles, no ring marks on the table, no magazines thrown over the floor...just what has being going on here :taz:
The much maligned yet oft-missed feminine touch Brumlad.
kiss
Sappho xxx
Quote by brumlad
a) return the batteries you nicked from the remote control & b)pick up where sappho left off with my massage

Brumlad!!! :kick:
Would you honestly trust me to insert the said batteries in the correct location? :twisted:
C'mere, will give you a massage, have rather long nails at the moment :evil2:
Art as you journey north... J 25 on the six... left at the end of the sliproad and right at the next roundabout.... and straight on till you smell the passion....
but do not on any account call her Babe.... I have seen your shepherd posts.... if you do the words fan hit and shit will all come into play....
Gmanxxx
Sappho, you are most welcome darling passionkiss
Misschief, you can keep the batteries, as I fear they'll be flat and of no use to us now !!!! :grin:
Now I shall sit back and let you two girlies decide who's going to administer my massage, and who's going to fetch my beer :cheers:
rotflmao Artificer, classic.
Last year after getting the sheep sheared, they realised they could then fit through the fence and into neighbouring gardens, aparently eating all the flowers! We didn't even notice until the police arrived!
Also have a sheep dog there, bless her, shes only got about 3 teeth left, the fourth probably embedded in my car tyre! She's never done herding in her life, but always assumes sheep dog position when you go near the field! Have to keep her locked out tho cos she hasnt got a bluddy clue!
Quote by brumlad
Now I shall sit back and let you two girlies decide who's going to administer my massage

looks at Brumlad flaked out awaiting his massage
Sappho, think you better do it, you're gentler than I will be. Suddenly feel this strong urge to use Brumlads back as a trampoline :bounce: :twisted:
sneaks into corner to await return of more gentle Alex....mind you those nails Misschief.... mmmm
Gmanxxx