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Ladies - advice pls on how to approach my wife for swinging

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Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks
Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???
If so... don't you think it would be better to come clean about your little secret first before even hinting about other people joining yourselves??
Just a thought.
Also does she know your a Bi Male?? I would be devastated to find out my husband has been going out and meeting other men after how ever many number of years marriage
Quote by Lilmiss
Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???
If so... don't you think it would be better to come clean about your little secret first before even hinting about other people joining yourselves??
Just a thought.
Also does she know your a Bi Male?? I would be devastated to find out my husband has been going out and meeting other men after how ever many number of years marriage

It could be four years if you look at the profile dunno
Quote by cdbottom
Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks

Think you've answered your own questions.
The main problem you'll have to deal with is if she says 'yes' and you come on this site, then she realises you're not a newbie.
Quote by Freckledbird
Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks

Think you've answered your own questions.
The main problem you'll have to deal with is if she says 'yes' and you come on this site, then she realises you're not a newbie.
Yes, that and the fact you're 'bi', which in itself is fine, but it looks like you also cross dress?
I think some home truths may be better rather than dropping hints at this stage.
Quote by Mallock2006
Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???
If so... don't you think it would be better to come clean about your little secret first before even hinting about other people joining yourselves??
Just a thought.
Also does she know your a Bi Male?? I would be devastated to find out my husband has been going out and meeting other men after how ever many number of years marriage

It could be four years if you look at the profile dunno
Your right!!
I was going off under his avatar on his post... says Dec 2005
Quote by Lilmiss
Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???
If so... don't you think it would be better to come clean about your little secret first before even hinting about other people joining yourselves??
Just a thought.
Also does she know your a Bi Male?? I would be devastated to find out my husband has been going out and meeting other men after how ever many number of years marriage

It could be four years if you look at the profile dunno
Your right!!
I was going off under his avatar on his post... says Dec 2005

It could be a site glitch as to why the two dont give the same date :dunno:
Quote by Mallock2006
Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???
If so... don't you think it would be better to come clean about your little secret first before even hinting about other people joining yourselves??
Just a thought.
Also does she know your a Bi Male?? I would be devastated to find out my husband has been going out and meeting other men after how ever many number of years marriage

It could be four years if you look at the profile dunno
Your right!!
I was going off under his avatar on his post... says Dec 2005

It could be a site glitch as to why the two dont give the same date :dunno:
Possibly... coz ive just checked and mine both say Nov 2004
Oh well lol
Quote by Lilmiss

It could be a site glitch as to why the two dont give the same date dunno

Possibly... coz ive just checked and mine both say Nov 2004
Oh well lol
Mine are different :lol2:
Quote by Mallock2006

It could be a site glitch as to why the two dont give the same date dunno

Possibly... coz ive just checked and mine both say Nov 2004
Oh well lol
Mine are different :lol2:
Mine too - and they're both wrong 'cos I was here waaaay before that so ner! :P
Back to the OP - disregarding your time on here, your sexual preferences etc and just sticking to the thread topic - the only thing I can think is to ask her if she has any fantasies, perhaps? If she 's not willing to discuss them then that's a no to swinging, I'd say. If her fantasies do not include other people or anything remotely related to swinging then that's another no!
There are lots of couples on here - married or not - that have amazingly solid, honest and open relationships but it never ceases to amaze me how many couples there are that actually don't or can't talk to each other. You've chosen this person as your life partner, you live together, maybe even reproduced your own mini-me, yet you can't talk.
Look at your relationship before you look into swinging.
well he did ask.
i would never do it behind hubbys back, when i can have and do,,,lol when we go out together. i think that what i call respect for each other.
u have to have trust,,,,,,,
if u can`t come clean with yr wife....who will ever trust u?
Quote by Marya_Northeast
Back to the OP - disregarding your time on here, your sexual preferences etc and just sticking to the thread topic - the only thing I can think is to ask her if she has any fantasies, perhaps? If she 's not willing to discuss them then that's a no to swinging, I'd say. If her fantasies do not include other people or anything remotely related to swinging then that's another no!
There are lots of couples on here - married or not - that have amazingly solid, honest and open relationships but it never ceases to amaze me how many couples there are that actually don't or can't talk to each other. You've chosen this person as your life partner, you live together, maybe even reproduced your own mini-me, yet you can't talk.
Look at your relationship before you look into swinging.

yup i would think you have alot of explaining to do before swinging is mentioned even opening another profile as couple could still have major reporcusions (sp)some one will be sure to reconise you or remember your face etc, then the mrs will be mortified that you kept it from her etc etc.
as for what marya said about 2 people in a relationship being able to talk, i couldnt not be with someone who i couldnt talk to, dek finds out everything and anythying (most of which he dont want to know) lol but i tell him cos in my mind thats what couples do even to a point of upsetting him
just a couple of points i missed ,the bit where he said she didnt know about him being here , we can assume shit loads except the benefit of the doubt , why not just give it him, its a lot freindlier.
of course im sure if i read his profile it will tell the whole story but why cant folk just give a bit of advice without doing the marriage guidance bit ....its his marriage as far as this sites concerned , no one elses ..
do what marya said fella it seems like a good way forward to me...
Quote by cdbottom
Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks

There are no magic words to "make" your partner interested in swinging.
And for another thing, you know her far better than we do.
hi,
im sorry to start poking again, but i guess when you post a question like this people will look at the profile etc of the poster to get a insight.
one thing that really concerns me is that you have a few adds, a couple of them that are offering you doing unprotected sex with gay/ bi guys.
now if you want unproteced sex that up to you but FFS man your wife obv knows nothing about this and you could be playing russian roulette with her life.
i hope to god this is just a bored sexually frustrated guy who is getting his rocks of in cyber fantesy and not genuine, for the sake of your wife.
xx fem xx
edited for typos only
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!
Dorsetguy, my advice would be simply find the right moment, if it be in bed or over a coffee in the evening when your both relaxing, to discuss fantasies. It will nomally give you some hints on if she'll want to or not.
Quote by Chaotic_Spirit
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!

So who's to say that it is in fact you who are right ????
Just another sweeping generalisation I suppose eh rolleyes
Quote by Mallock2006
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!

So who's to say that it is in fact you who are right ????
Just another sweeping generalisation I suppose eh rolleyes
Didn't say once i was right!
Was just pointing out all these assumptions have come out of thin air, cause not once did the orginal poster say his wife didn't know about his life style nor sexuality. People can re-read this thread as physical proof that i am right on that note, nice to have something to back up your claim isn't it!
Regarding some of the other things that have been said on this thread, i couldn't help but point out that no two people are the same and what some consider right and normal, isn't in someone else's eyes. All i ask for is an open mind when it comes to such matters, and thats up to every indivdual that reads this to take my request into consideration or not.
Quote by Chaotic_Spirit
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!
Dorsetguy, my advice would be simply find the right moment, if it be in bed or over a coffee in the evening when your both relaxing, to discuss fantasies. It will nomally give you some hints on if she'll want to or not.

I don't think anybody is being judgemental or assuming anything.
There is noting to say in any of his ads that his wife does know but isnt/hasn't been interested in participating.
If hes here asking advice of how to get his wife into it... they i would at a good guess say she does't know.
Maybe the person opening the thread could come along and put us right dunno
Quote by Lilmiss
I don't think anybody is being judgemental or assuming anything.
If hes here asking advice of how to get his wife into it... they i would at a good guess say she does't know.

confused :?
Is it just me that would class that as an assumption. Only asking out of personal interest.
Quote by Lilmiss
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!
Dorsetguy, my advice would be simply find the right moment, if it be in bed or over a coffee in the evening when your both relaxing, to discuss fantasies. It will nomally give you some hints on if she'll want to or not.

I don't think anybody is being judgemental or assuming anything.
There is noting to say in any of his ads that his wife does know but isnt/hasn't been interested in participating.
If hes here asking advice of how to get his wife into it... they i would at a good guess say she does't know.
Maybe the person opening the thread could come along and put us right dunno

Sums it up for me as well...
Quote by Dorsetguy9
Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks

The whole post reads as if she has no knowledge whatsoever.....
Nice to have something to back your claim up isn't it !
Quote by Mallock2006
Seems a lot of you are more judgemental then you like to think you are.
They are different forms of swinging and swingingheaven does accomadate for such, whether it be dogging, cruising, bareback, soft swing, BDSM as well as so many other activities. BUT Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't neccerily mean that YOU are right!
At any point of this thread have i seen the gent once mention that his wife didn't know about him swinging, his sexuality or what he gets up to. He simply asked for some advice of how to get her to be more included in this part of his life.
I find it amusing how everyone jumps in without thinking. You can never assume anything in this game so please put a bit more thought into what you say in future!
Dorsetguy, my advice would be simply find the right moment, if it be in bed or over a coffee in the evening when your both relaxing, to discuss fantasies. It will nomally give you some hints on if she'll want to or not.

I don't think anybody is being judgemental or assuming anything.
There is noting to say in any of his ads that his wife does know but isnt/hasn't been interested in participating.
If hes here asking advice of how to get his wife into it... they i would at a good guess say she does't know.
Maybe the person opening the thread could come along and put us right dunno

Sums it up for me as well...
Quote by Dorsetguy9
Ladies, could anyone advise me on how to best approach my wife to join in 3-somes, couple swinging?
I don't want to be a 'bull in a china shop' approach, basically some subtle hints and talk to see if she 'bites'. Also perhaps the best places, in bed?, to bring this subject up.
Thanks

The whole post reads as if she has no knowledge whatsoever.....
Nice to have something to back your claim up isn't it !
Hope your not just "Assuming" like me rolleyes
smackbottom
Quote by Lilmiss
Hope your not just "Assuming" like me rolleyes
smackbottom

:laughabove:
Quote by Chaotic_Spirit

I don't think anybody is being judgemental or assuming anything.
If hes here asking advice of how to get his wife into it... they i would at a good guess say she does't know.

confused :?
Is it just me that would class that as an assumption. Only asking out of personal interest.
Not gonna get in a row about it, coz thats just silly lol But, actuially i do think it's you rolleyes
At no point in my original reply did i "Assume" anything. I said....
"Would i be right in thinking you have been swinging for the last 2 yrs behind her back then???"
Yes thats THINKING...not THOUGHT(that would be assuming) :lol:
I then gave my advice.
So until Dorsetguy comes along and/if replys... we will never know.
i read it to say she didnt know either, imo if she knew about the swinging wouldnt he find it relatively easy to say "wanna join in?" and therefore not need to ask advice ???
no one was offering marraige guidance or shooting the bloke down for his lifestyle - just trying to look at the bigger picture thats only imo again
put yourself in his wifes shoes do you honestly think she knows???
Tan x
Quote by dekntan
i read it to say she didnt know either, imo if she knew about the swinging wouldnt he find it relatively easy to say "wanna join in?" and therefore not need to ask advice ???

I have to say that that is how I read it as well.
Quote by dekntan
put yourself in his wifes shoes do you honestly think she knows???
Tan x

NO i don't think she knows... I know every1 has there own lifestyle and likes and dislikes... and im NOT judging his...
Putting myself in her shoes.... I would be devastated to find out the things he is into and has been doing.
Just my view.
I would conjecture that you could assume whatever i guess would be what one would think upon any subject and submit a hypothesis on such.....
lol Oh I did laugh biggrin :thumbup:
Quote by Lost
I would conjecture that you could assume whatever i guess would be what one would think upon any subject and submit a hypothesis on such.....
lol Oh I did laugh biggrin :thumbup:

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Quote by dekntan
put yourself in his wifes shoes do you honestly think she knows???
Tan x
wont they be a tight fit?