Okay, I was reading people's pleas for more swinging-related postings in a certain locked thread, and while as a non-swinger I can't oblige, this is a post about sex and that's close enough. I was thinking about this in bed last night/this morning and couldn't quite come to a conclusion.
How compartmentalised is your sex-life from your normal life?
Reading people's adverts here and what people post here and in Let's Meet Up, I get the impression that for many people, sex is something almost entirely separate from the rest of their personalities. For a lot of people sex seems to be about the very physical sensation of friction on the genitals. Kinda like brushing your teeth; some people brush sideways and some brush up-and-down, and some use a cheap toothbrush and some use an electric toothbrush, but at the end of the day brushing your teeth is a habit not an experession of your personality. Do you see sex in the same way? Or do you see sex as an integrated part of your whole? When not having sex or thinking about having sex, is sex still a part of you or do you leave it behind like a suitcase?
Personally, I think it's still very much a part of me. Sex can be a great escape but I can't leave the rest of me behind when I'm having sex; anyone I'm in bed with has to deal with my arms and legs and personality too. I think I'm pretty-much the same person in bed as I am outside it (albeit with an erection and less clothes).
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Let's talk about sex, baby
Sex is part of me and who I am. I am the same personality in bed as I am out of it. And even as I go about my every day life, sex is never far from my mind.
But sex and sexual desires are complex and it turns out you learn something new about yourself every day
:shock: :twisted: :twisted:
Some aspects of it can be so.....
:shock:
ops: :twisted: :rascal: :undecided: 
confusing.
Time to re-evaluate.
But sex and sexual desires are complex and it turns out you learn something new about yourself every day
:shock: :twisted: :twisted:Some aspects of it can be so.....
:shock:
ops: :twisted: :rascal: :undecided: confusing.
Time to re-evaluate.
Sex God
I definately take my sense of humour to bed with me..... although its not always appreciated
Very nicely put, Roger.
I had a very similar conversation with a lady from the site a few weeks ago.
I've aways found sex, no matter how 'physical' to be much better with someone I've spent at least a little time with and begun to know; and from a selfish point of view - that they know me a little.
Don't get me wrong - "stranger sex" or "turn up and fuck" has it's place and is good, but I've heard/read quite a few girls say that a guy "has to turn on my mind, as well as my body" I find that the sex, passion, orgasm and the whole experience is so much deeper when that's the case too.
In short - there's much more to me than a cock and tongue. And lips. And fingers. You get the picture.
I don't know if it's an age thing, or due my last long term relationship; but I am finding more and more that I prefer to be turned on by my mind as much as my knob. Or maybe - that's just the way I am.
I had a very similar conversation with a lady from the site a few weeks ago.
I've aways found sex, no matter how 'physical' to be much better with someone I've spent at least a little time with and begun to know; and from a selfish point of view - that they know me a little.
Don't get me wrong - "stranger sex" or "turn up and fuck" has it's place and is good, but I've heard/read quite a few girls say that a guy "has to turn on my mind, as well as my body" I find that the sex, passion, orgasm and the whole experience is so much deeper when that's the case too.
In short - there's much more to me than a cock and tongue. And lips. And fingers. You get the picture.
I don't know if it's an age thing, or due my last long term relationship; but I am finding more and more that I prefer to be turned on by my mind as much as my knob. Or maybe - that's just the way I am.
Quote by dambuster
I don't know if it's an age thing, or due my last long term relationship; but I am finding more and more that I prefer to be turned on by my mind as much as my knob. Or maybe - that's just the way I am.
Hey - if its an age thing we must be the same age then
Gotta stimulate my mind I'm afraid.
And yes Roger - I take my personality to bed with me too. It;s not just an "act" that gets performed. It is part of me as a whole person. Sorry - I'm not feeling awfuly eloquent today - but I had to add my tuppence
Quote by Rainbows
Hey - if its an age thing we must be the same age then
Gotta stimulate my mind I'm afraid.
And yes Roger - I take my personality to bed with me too. It;s not just an "act" that gets performed. It is part of me as a whole person. Sorry - I'm not feeling awfuly eloquent today - but I had to add my tuppence
If we're the same age Rainbows, can I just say that you are wearing very well. Either that or I had a much bigger paper round than you.
You may not be feeling very eloquent today, but your short paragraph says much more than my ramble.
Sex God
I think in the situation being reversed.. is sex a part of my everyday life? I'd say no.. unfortunately 
.... On occasion if I'm feeling really down I'll wear some sexy underwear and dress up nice and feel more feminine and sexy, which makes me feel better about myself.. However the usual scenario is that I'm that busy with being 'mum' that sex doesn't come into it..
So in that respect I have 2 different presonas.. is one of them more 'me'? I don't think so.. its just different sides of me coming through at different times. I don't know if this makes much sense, but I know what I mean
.... On occasion if I'm feeling really down I'll wear some sexy underwear and dress up nice and feel more feminine and sexy, which makes me feel better about myself.. However the usual scenario is that I'm that busy with being 'mum' that sex doesn't come into it..So in that respect I have 2 different presonas.. is one of them more 'me'? I don't think so.. its just different sides of me coming through at different times. I don't know if this makes much sense, but I know what I mean
Quote by xxdevil69
On occasion if I'm feeling really down I'll wear some sexy underwear and dress up nice and feel more feminine and sexy, which makes me feel better about myself..
You too? mmmmm i think i may have said too much
I see sex as a absolute part of who i am,. I see it as an expression of how i feel towards someone. As i've grown older I've come to the conclusion I won't have sex with someone I don't like on a personal level, so i need to get to know someone. Been there and done that with one night stands and I don't really find them that satisfying, how can you when neither partner knows each other likes and dislikes - not to mention the awarkwardness in the morning when you have to make small talk when all you want is to get out of there!. It can be fun trying but if it's for one night only - there not a huge point!
Suppose what i am saying is that i'd rather have quality over quantity, quailty and quantity is very nice though!
This one brought my head out from under the duvet..... :shock:
For me the mind needs to be touched too - stranger sex is such a turn on but not with someone I haven't communicated with though. Thoughts of sex are never normally far from my mind and I would hate to have to become a 'different' person.
Mind you, saying that it's good sometime to 'get lost' in behaving out of character. I've tried being dominant and loved it but often dissolved into peals of laughter cos of the ludicrous situations; I've tried being submissive and don't think I was at all successful at that!
However, sometimes (that word again) I feel I just want to give up to the man and be pleasured, other times I'm in charge and even other times it's an equal struggle.
Long slow sex with romance, candles and wine by the bedside is great.
Fast hard sex with sheer aninal lust is just as great.
Different strokes for me for different moods - it's always changing and long may it last.
OK - back under duvet with strepsils and antibiotics.
:P
For me the mind needs to be touched too - stranger sex is such a turn on but not with someone I haven't communicated with though. Thoughts of sex are never normally far from my mind and I would hate to have to become a 'different' person.
Mind you, saying that it's good sometime to 'get lost' in behaving out of character. I've tried being dominant and loved it but often dissolved into peals of laughter cos of the ludicrous situations; I've tried being submissive and don't think I was at all successful at that!
However, sometimes (that word again) I feel I just want to give up to the man and be pleasured, other times I'm in charge and even other times it's an equal struggle. Long slow sex with romance, candles and wine by the bedside is great.
Fast hard sex with sheer aninal lust is just as great.
Different strokes for me for different moods - it's always changing and long may it last.
OK - back under duvet with strepsils and antibiotics.
:P
Quote by roger743
When not having sex or thinking about having sex, is sex still a part of you or do you leave it behind like a suitcase?
Doesn't leave a lot of time to worry about, for me at least!
More or less totally cerebral and constantly on my mind. Perhaps it's the lack of it, but I read somewhere it's normal for males. I think the words 'sometimes' is the one for me too. Sometimes I can spend the whole day daydreaming about sex and feeling horny, then others I don't know where my sex drive goes. It is definately interlinked with my moods and state of health.
At the moment I am discovering more about what I like and don't like, I like to chat to people before I meet them, usually there is some sort of connection before we meet that attracts me. But saying that, I have played with people I have never met before when I have felt safe enough e.g. at a party. I wouldn't just pick up a random guy and fuck him, that stays in my fantasies because the reality isn't as much fun and there can be a lot of problems involved.
As a single parent my sex life is 'compartmentalised' because I can't get up to anything when I am in my 'mum' role and I won't invite men into the house where they are for obvious reasons. So I do have to find time for it around my kids needs and make sure they are cared for before I can go out to play!
At the moment I am discovering more about what I like and don't like, I like to chat to people before I meet them, usually there is some sort of connection before we meet that attracts me. But saying that, I have played with people I have never met before when I have felt safe enough e.g. at a party. I wouldn't just pick up a random guy and fuck him, that stays in my fantasies because the reality isn't as much fun and there can be a lot of problems involved.
As a single parent my sex life is 'compartmentalised' because I can't get up to anything when I am in my 'mum' role and I won't invite men into the house where they are for obvious reasons. So I do have to find time for it around my kids needs and make sure they are cared for before I can go out to play!
What would we do without it, sex, well the obvious is we wouldn't exist LOL but just think if you had to go without it, how your personality would alter.
I am sure, as a human being, I wouldn't be the same without sex, as I wouldn't be the same without conversation. Sex, Eating, Drinking and Breathing are all a part of me i can't imagine life without them. You hear some say sex is overrated but to me, enjoying yourself with another person can never be overrated - it's lifes Soul
I am sure, as a human being, I wouldn't be the same without sex, as I wouldn't be the same without conversation. Sex, Eating, Drinking and Breathing are all a part of me i can't imagine life without them. You hear some say sex is overrated but to me, enjoying yourself with another person can never be overrated - it's lifes Soul
