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Liars and lies
Sex God
Quote by Juniper_couple
My mum always used to say "there's nothing you can have done that is worth lying about".
It's kinda carried on with my kids, I always tell them they get in far more trouble for lying to me than anything they've done.!
Mine too - my kids know they will get punished for lying when originally the thing they did would not have warranted more than a "stop it"........
I absolutely hate liars or in the other context deliberate ommisions - same thing to me !!!
But saying that, I lie about swinging - when my vanilla friends or family ask which club or what we did saturday - i don't exactly tell them, they have the impression that we go for a few meals with other couples we know !!
I know for definate it would not be understood - my mother would be shamed and would be convinced i was having a crisis and therefore have me booked in to the first clinic she could find
Therefore, sometimes it is easier to lie, rather than cause unecessary hurt
:thumbup:
We have had 3 meets and a munch we have lied 4 times to close friends of ours about where we were going. It has saved them embarrassement. Those lies saved their feelings, not ours. We are not ashamed of our activities or the people we choose to do them with.
FIRE xx
Quote by Sassy-Seren
There's a huge difference in telling little white lies to be tactful or something and the huge great tarantula sized whoppers which are done to suit that person's own purpose.
We've all told little porkies I'm guessing - pulling a sickie from work, why you didn't do your homework, I haven't touched a chocolate bar in months, the dress doesn't really suit me not that it's too small, even the old Xmas adage 'it's just what I've always wanted' etc etc - I don't see them as doing anyone any real harm.
Lies used to cheat someone, make a fool of them or to cover something more serious or sinister is a different kettle of fish
It's an interesting philosophy "All lies are bad except the small white lies aren't really lies so they're okay"
Pulling a sickie from work - If you get paid sick leave and you lie about being sick then, I would guess, you are stealing the money from your employer. Hey ho theft thats not too serious is it?
Don't you get all philosophical on me, you bugger
Can you honestly, hand on heart say you've NEVER told a little white lie in your entire life? Never called in sick and made your illness sound worse than it really is? Never told someone something that wasn't strictly the truth so as not to hurt their feelings?
If you can truthfully answer yes then arise Saint Keeno .............ya fibber :giggle:
You miss my point. I lie all the time. Big lies, small lies. I don't see the problem with it. I am not a saint and I don't pretend to be one.
I try to be honest but I will lie to protect others and myself.
Everything I say is untrue
I read with great interest the posts here.
I was recently told I over react to lies or more to the point people lying to me
I obviously don't think I do
I don't mean the lies people tell for the purpose of discretion... i.e. "I am quite busy this week and up to my eyes in work" rather than "I am up to my eyes in work and I have already arranged to meet someone else in the little spare time I have" - I kind of understand those lies. But then again, personally I am more likely to tell someone it is none of their business than lie, if I am asked something which I do not feel they should know.
So I find it very interesting to read others views - please do carry on
I was recently told I over react to lies or more to the point people lying to me
I obviously don't think I do
I don't mean the lies people tell for the purpose of discretion... i.e. "I am quite busy this week and up to my eyes in work" rather than "I am up to my eyes in work and I have already arranged to meet someone else in the little spare time I have" - I kind of understand those lies. But then again, personally I am more likely to tell someone it is none of their business than lie, if I am asked something which I do not feel they should know.
So I find it very interesting to read others views - please do carry on
Quote by PoloLady
I read with great interest the posts here.
I was recently told I over react to lies or more to the point people lying to me
I obviously don't think I do
Do you think the people who told you that were lying?
I don't mean the lies people tell for the purpose of discretion... i.e. "I am quite busy this week and up to my eyes in work" rather than "I am up to my eyes in work and I have already arranged to meet someone else in the little spare time I have" - I kind of understand those lies. But then again, personally I am more likely to tell someone it is none of their business than lie, if I am asked something which I do not feel they should know.
So I find it very interesting to read others views - please do carry on
There are a lot of things worse than a liar. Then again being lied to can be a very upsetting/frustrating experience, if the lie is a serous one. Little white lies are ok sometimes, when your spareing someones feelings or disguising the new pair of shoes you bought but pretending that you've had them for ages. The type of lies that i really hate are the lies some people tell to get what they want from you, sexual or otherwise. Also the lies they tell to cover up something that they did wrong.
Louise xx
Louise xx
Quote by louise_and_joe
The type of lies that i really hate are the lies some people tell to get what they want from you, sexual or otherwise. Also the lies they tell to cover up something that they did wrong.
Louise xx
What about the lies when you tell them you know or that they have been caught out , but then when you offer the chance to wipe the slate clean they continue to lie (usually badly)....
Are those lies worse or the same?
Quote by PoloLady
The type of lies that i really hate are the lies some people tell to get what they want from you, sexual or otherwise. Also the lies they tell to cover up something that they did wrong.
Louise xx
What about the lies when you tell them you know or that they have been caught out , but then when you offer the chance to wipe the slate clean they continue to lie (usually badly)....
Are those lies worse or the same?
were you a fly on the wall when I confronted my ex? :shock:
Quote by PoloLady
The type of lies that i really hate are the lies some people tell to get what they want from you, sexual or otherwise. Also the lies they tell to cover up something that they did wrong.
Louise xx
What about the lies when you tell them you know or that they have been caught out , but then when you offer the chance to wipe the slate clean they continue to lie (usually badly)....
Are those lies worse or the same?
If your offering to wipe the slate clean and they continue to lie then i think they are worse. I think that can be insulting to your intelligence. I know that when i have got myself into trouble before and did have to lie to cover it up, i was so relieved to be found out and have the opportunity to come clean. after that i never tell serious lies, its not worth the hurt to the other person and is not worth the stress to yourself.
Louise xx
Oh just noticed that was my 500th post, 
Quote by louise_and_joe
The type of lies that i really hate are the lies some people tell to get what they want from you, sexual or otherwise. Also the lies they tell to cover up something that they did wrong.
Louise xx
What about the lies when you tell them you know or that they have been caught out , but then when you offer the chance to wipe the slate clean they continue to lie (usually badly)....
Are those lies worse or the same?
If your offering to wipe the slate clean and they continue to lie then i think they are worse. I think that can be insulting to your intelligence. I know that when i have got myself into trouble before and did have to lie to cover it up, i was so relieved to be found out and have the opportunity to come clean. after that i never tell serious lies, its not worth the hurt to the other person and is not worth the stress to yourself.
Louise xx
Oh just noticed that was my 500th post, Interesting thread...
I caught someone out bigtime and challenged them on it... they covered up with telling me a part truth to cover the real storyl. I gave them every opportunity to tell me the whole truth time and time again.
All I wanted was honesty... not too much to ask in a relationship really. I decided that as I had no proof(long long story) that it was only a feeling I had, I would forgive but I couldnt forget so easily.
That lie carried on for over two years when I discovered the truth in what I consider to be quite a hurtful way. It then took me months to actually get him to admit he had lied (the relationship had not long finished, yet it was still important enough to me to know the truth)....... even though I told him I knew for definate.
Why did I waste my time?? Because I hoped that I/we had much more than a relationship based on lies........ I felt I deserved the truth and needed to know. Have I forgiven.....no way!!! He had the opportunity so many times he doesnt deserve my forgiveness or friendship. Plus, I wanted him to face up to what he had done and the damage and distress it caused...
Lies lead onto other lies and so on....... until you forget what the lie was in the first place till they get caught out. I detest lies, the truth no matter how much it hurts is so much better. At least then you can make a more informed choice.
What did I learn....... to go with my gut feeling in the first place, a womens instinct, my uneasiness, not to be so trusting and lastly what an idiot I was!!
Once a liar always a liar? Does anyone dis/agree with that saying???
xanaisx
i personally think its a tough one to answer, some lie are said with the best intentions and to spare peoples feelings, i have told lie to people before cause at the time i have thought it the best, for example if some asks if they look fat in something, if they are over weight of course they look fat in it but are you really going to say that? i wouldn't! so if you say no you look fine in whatever you wear, or words to that meaning, is that so wrong? or when on here if someones asking for a meet and you don't like them is it so wrong to make up a excuse rather than just say look i don't fancy you? lol maybe some poeple find that easy to say, personally i don't so i usually say i'm not really looking at the mo, ok so its a lie but a lie with good intentions so again is that so wrong? however to lie about wether your married or not as was suggested in PoloLadys post is not done with good intention and only done with the persons selfish wishes in mind so i can't say i agree with that, a lie covers such a wide range and i think you have to look at the whole rather than the fact its just a lie
Been reading this post with great interest and have to agree with most of the replies we ALL tell lies to one degree or another even if its just a teeny one only to save someone embarrassment.
BUT the biggest liars in any country (or at least those people who are adept an economical with the truth) are the very people we should be able to trust the most.
The people who run the country, our very trustworthy, upstanding, MPs
:x :x :x
BUT the biggest liars in any country (or at least those people who are adept an economical with the truth) are the very people we should be able to trust the most.
The people who run the country, our very trustworthy, upstanding, MPs
:x :x :x with crimbo just around the corner, most of the country will be going into bullshit overload..we'll be telling the little'uns that some big fat fucker dressed in red will be hot footing it on the iceland overnighter comprising of a sleigh full of tat, towed by seven reindeer..he'll crash land on the ridge tiles and break in..leaving more than he takes, which, if we are lucky might be a glass of sherry and a carrot for rudolph..he'll get right around the world in that manner, every house, igloo and mud hut, all in one night and the more wide eyed and attentive the wee one is, the more animated and full of shite we'll become :lol: ...then when the truth does come out, it'll probably be from other kids :cry: it'll hurt like hell, but then they too will perpetuate the fantasy to their younger brother or sister..all under mum and dad's admiring eyes..by the time we reach seven, we are highly adept in the art of deception :lol:
i'm liking roger's 't that the truth? :lol: well, until he changes it just to make me look a c**t
...
don't ya just feel that whilst reading the above, someone was actually getting excited at the prospect of being able to shine amongst his peers by replying "what, you mean father christmas doesn't exist"? :shock: gawd help us :lol: :lol:
must admit though, i came unstuck the other night as a result of the ole verbal bollocks..had a little win on the premium bonds, so decided to take mrs dirty and some friends out for pizza..we went to frankie and benny's, ( i did say LITTLE win) :roll: :lol: and perused the menu..i was fucking hungry, and a 10 inch pizza didn't have the ring of ample quantity about it..so i went for the 15..ten minutes later a fucking manhole cover on a stick arrived :shock: "shit, i'll never manage that" i thought :cry: mrs dirty then whispered in my ear, whilst holding her forefingers six inches apart, "thats because you spend so much time trying to convince me that the gap between my fingers equals 10 inches you greedy fucking twat"
ops:
and the more wide eyed and attentive the wee one is, the more animated and full of shite we'll become :lol: ...then when the truth does come out, it'll probably be from other kids :cry: it'll hurt like hell, but then they too will perpetuate the fantasy to their younger brother or sister..all under mum and dad's admiring eyes..by the time we reach seven, we are highly adept in the art of deception :lol: i'm liking roger's 't that the truth? :lol: well, until he changes it just to make me look a c**t
...don't ya just feel that whilst reading the above, someone was actually getting excited at the prospect of being able to shine amongst his peers by replying "what, you mean father christmas doesn't exist"? :shock: gawd help us
:lol: :lol:must admit though, i came unstuck the other night as a result of the ole verbal bollocks..had a little win on the premium bonds, so decided to take mrs dirty and some friends out for pizza..we went to frankie and benny's, ( i did say LITTLE win) :roll: :lol: and perused the menu..i was fucking hungry, and a 10 inch pizza didn't have the ring of ample quantity about it..so i went for the 15..ten minutes later a fucking manhole cover on a stick arrived :shock: "shit, i'll never manage that" i thought :cry: mrs dirty then whispered in my ear, whilst holding her forefingers six inches apart, "thats because you spend so much time trying to convince me that the gap between my fingers equals 10 inches you greedy fucking twat"
ops: 
Sex God
Quote by dirtydoggers
"thats because you spend so much time trying to convince me that the gap between my fingers equals 10 inches you greedy fucking twat"
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: TJ
I hate lies and yet have told them myself. In fact, my capacity to lie is scarey. I grew up in a houe full of liars and saw the damage that resulted. I was lied to about things which had major implications in my life and I learned to lie in order to survive.
I lied at school to fit in as I was clearly leading a very different life to the other girls - stupid stuff like - liking boybands when I only listened to new romantic stuff at the time. Fancying those yukky boys from Bros - when I was passionate about Larry Mullen the drummer from U2... at one point my whole life was a lie.
Does this make me a nasty person? My lies probably hurt me as much as they hurt anyone else. I have also lied in the past to an ex-boyfriend - I would not have done so if he'd not been abusive.
There are so many complexities to the lying issue and I am probably every one's worst nightmare! My life now is radically different. I don't have to lie anymore and have not had to for over 10 years. That still leaves 23 years of lies behind me.
Not wanting to cause a controversy here, just being honest about the issue. People have so many reasons for lying.
xxxx
I lied at school to fit in as I was clearly leading a very different life to the other girls - stupid stuff like - liking boybands when I only listened to new romantic stuff at the time. Fancying those yukky boys from Bros - when I was passionate about Larry Mullen the drummer from U2... at one point my whole life was a lie.
Does this make me a nasty person? My lies probably hurt me as much as they hurt anyone else. I have also lied in the past to an ex-boyfriend - I would not have done so if he'd not been abusive.
There are so many complexities to the lying issue and I am probably every one's worst nightmare! My life now is radically different. I don't have to lie anymore and have not had to for over 10 years. That still leaves 23 years of lies behind me.
Not wanting to cause a controversy here, just being honest about the issue. People have so many reasons for lying.
xxxx
I dont count "Father Christmas" as a Lie !!
I see it more as a fictional fantasy, as in fairys that live in the woods etc.... My kids are told, what i believe to be wonderful stories that encourages good imagination and in my eyes, it is not a bad thing today. Kids are encouraged to grow up and be responsible far too early and there is time enough for all that !!
Was i upset when i realized there was no santa - NO, just wishful that there was one, the fantasy and magicness (<< is that a word?) was very special with lovely memories that i treasure - which i pass on to my kids, hoping that they will feel the same.
As for the fairies in the woods............... i do still see the odd glimmer
I see it more as a fictional fantasy, as in fairys that live in the woods etc.... My kids are told, what i believe to be wonderful stories that encourages good imagination and in my eyes, it is not a bad thing today. Kids are encouraged to grow up and be responsible far too early and there is time enough for all that !!
Was i upset when i realized there was no santa - NO, just wishful that there was one, the fantasy and magicness (<< is that a word?) was very special with lovely memories that i treasure - which i pass on to my kids, hoping that they will feel the same.
As for the fairies in the woods............... i do still see the odd glimmer
ooh, mrs juniper..i've no issue with santa well, as long as parents don't use him as leverage to get the kids behaving, or early to bed in the six week run up to crimbo..that would be vile exploitation :lol:
thinking about it..my santa years were a little odd..my mother being dutch had a different vision of the great cola induced bearded one..for she had been sold into the saint nicholas theory..and man was he a scary fucker :shock: not so much the great man himself, but his heavy handed assistants known as "black peter"..those fellas weren't amiss to dealing out some uneccessary voilence upon those who were missbehaving :shock: unless my mum was just giving it the "we had it rough" stuff :lol: anyways..a year after my father crimbo bubble had been burst, i was delighting in perpetuating the myth for the purposes of colouring my kid bro's imaginations in the way i'd been shrouded in the blanket of magical wonderment i'd felt one year previous..i was describing the reindeer, santa's flight from the north pole, the elves and the fantastical methods he employed in order to descend down the wood burner flue..at some point in the conversation, he looked at me square in the eye, and announced "yeah, i saw him flying through the air and landing on someone's roof" :shock: i thought "you lying little twat" :shock: :lol: :lol:
well, as long as parents don't use him as leverage to get the kids behaving, or early to bed in the six week run up to crimbo..that would be vile exploitation :lol: thinking about it..my santa years were a little odd..my mother being dutch had a different vision of the great cola induced bearded one..for she had been sold into the saint nicholas theory..and man was he a scary fucker :shock: not so much the great man himself, but his heavy handed assistants known as "black peter"..those fellas weren't amiss to dealing out some uneccessary voilence upon those who were missbehaving :shock: unless my mum was just giving it the "we had it rough" stuff
:lol: anyways..a year after my father crimbo bubble had been burst, i was delighting in perpetuating the myth for the purposes of colouring my kid bro's imaginations in the way i'd been shrouded in the blanket of magical wonderment i'd felt one year previous..i was describing the reindeer, santa's flight from the north pole, the elves and the fantastical methods he employed in order to descend down the wood burner flue..at some point in the conversation, he looked at me square in the eye, and announced "yeah, i saw him flying through the air and landing on someone's roof" :shock: i thought "you lying little twat" :shock: :lol: :lol: Oh Boy.... What a thread.
Very emotive and one that sparks all kinds of very bad memories for us.
Sometimes it seems things get well out of hand and people will lie for whatever reason suits at that particular time, why.. heaven knows but they do and they always will in my view. The result of those lies however just made us more resolute to make sure we find the right people to have fun with, people with humour and people who know how to enjoy themselves without feeling as though they have to drag others to their level to achieve there own happiness... The sad thing is when this happened to us it didn't actually have that great an effect on us but some very new and nervous friends decided the scene wasn't for them after all.. they have missed out sadly as they were just starting to get the hang of it all but this one incident ruined months and months of confidence building..
This lifestyle is made up of so many different characters it’s almost inevitable you’re going to come across someone lying about something or other, we genuinely try to take people at face value, maybe were naïve or even stupid but we just don’t see harm in people till its too late…
Sorry to go on…… it’s a good thread
Mike xx
Very emotive and one that sparks all kinds of very bad memories for us.
Sometimes it seems things get well out of hand and people will lie for whatever reason suits at that particular time, why.. heaven knows but they do and they always will in my view. The result of those lies however just made us more resolute to make sure we find the right people to have fun with, people with humour and people who know how to enjoy themselves without feeling as though they have to drag others to their level to achieve there own happiness... The sad thing is when this happened to us it didn't actually have that great an effect on us but some very new and nervous friends decided the scene wasn't for them after all.. they have missed out sadly as they were just starting to get the hang of it all but this one incident ruined months and months of confidence building..
This lifestyle is made up of so many different characters it’s almost inevitable you’re going to come across someone lying about something or other, we genuinely try to take people at face value, maybe were naïve or even stupid but we just don’t see harm in people till its too late…
Sorry to go on…… it’s a good thread
Mike xx
I've been told lies and I guess I've told them too,little ones I mean,not with any malice,not meaning any actual big lies,the cruel lies,I'd hope I've never done that to anyone.
You yourself know if your heart is in the right place in what you do.I think most of us try to do the right thing and be as honest as we can with our loved ones and friends.
The greater lies are told by institutions,organisations,systems,whatever,things that people conform to for their own ends or out of fear or because of being indoctrinated.
You yourself know if your heart is in the right place in what you do.I think most of us try to do the right thing and be as honest as we can with our loved ones and friends.
The greater lies are told by institutions,organisations,systems,whatever,things that people conform to for their own ends or out of fear or because of being indoctrinated.
actually reading the last few posts where father christmas has been bough up you have to wonder about that one, we spend half our lifes telling kids not to lie and stay away from strangers then not only do we tell then santas coming but we let him in the bloody house while everyones asleep :shock:
no wonder kids are fucked up lol
no wonder kids are fucked up lol
Where should we draw the line between being polite and being a liar?
By my moral compass which can be a bit wayward I'd say wherever you feel comfortable that you draw the line given the subject of the lie and the balance of hurt averted vs hurt if the lie were to be exposed * your judgement of the likelyhood that the lie could be exposed.
How do you feel about being lied to?
Depends if its a "good" lie to spare my feelings then when I work out its a lie I can still feel empathy for the liar as they were motivated for a good reason. Bad Lies and I've had a few of those sent my way over time will provoke feeling very hurt and angry which is forgiven or not in the cooling off period afterwards.
How big does a lie have to be before you see it as a lie?
A subjective of what you find trivial and can dismiss against what you find is not trivial and cannot dismiss here for me.
Is the lie made more serious by the nature/purpose of the lie. Or is a lie a lie (full stop).
I'm in the there is no black and white camp here so yes I'd say nature and purpose defintely influences the seriousness of the lie.
Can't remember exactly when it is but one of children's developmental milestones is when they gain the insight to dissemble, one of mine has passed this pointwhilst the other hasn't (which is very amusing as the one that hasn't is great at dropping the one that has in it) I guess I'm trying to say that lying is a social skill and a necessary one, but that when that skill is deployed maliciously then its very destructive.
Finally there are worse things / people than liars (psychopaths spring to mind) and before condemning all liars to eternal damnation remember they got dealt a random hand of biological brain structure that influenced the type of person they became and this is further modified by their upbringing which again is down to chance so part of why they lie is because that is what they are.
Think I better go lie down after that lot, phew.....
Damn you Polo Lady and your brain stretching antics...
By my moral compass which can be a bit wayward I'd say wherever you feel comfortable that you draw the line given the subject of the lie and the balance of hurt averted vs hurt if the lie were to be exposed * your judgement of the likelyhood that the lie could be exposed.
How do you feel about being lied to?
Depends if its a "good" lie to spare my feelings then when I work out its a lie I can still feel empathy for the liar as they were motivated for a good reason. Bad Lies and I've had a few of those sent my way over time will provoke feeling very hurt and angry which is forgiven or not in the cooling off period afterwards.
How big does a lie have to be before you see it as a lie?
A subjective of what you find trivial and can dismiss against what you find is not trivial and cannot dismiss here for me.
Is the lie made more serious by the nature/purpose of the lie. Or is a lie a lie (full stop).
I'm in the there is no black and white camp here so yes I'd say nature and purpose defintely influences the seriousness of the lie.
Can't remember exactly when it is but one of children's developmental milestones is when they gain the insight to dissemble, one of mine has passed this pointwhilst the other hasn't (which is very amusing as the one that hasn't is great at dropping the one that has in it) I guess I'm trying to say that lying is a social skill and a necessary one, but that when that skill is deployed maliciously then its very destructive.
Finally there are worse things / people than liars (psychopaths spring to mind) and before condemning all liars to eternal damnation remember they got dealt a random hand of biological brain structure that influenced the type of person they became and this is further modified by their upbringing which again is down to chance so part of why they lie is because that is what they are.
Think I better go lie down after that lot, phew.....
Damn you Polo Lady and your brain stretching antics...
Quote by kfn1778
before condemning all liars to eternal damnation remember they got dealt a random hand of biological brain structure that influenced the type of person they became and this is further modified by their upbringing which again is down to chance so part of why they lie is because that is what they are.
Ermmm i am sorry but i so disagree with that statement.......Political correctness and upbringing excuses etc etc .........
Everyone has a choice on their actions or doings regardless of upbringing ie; Does every child that was beat, beat their own child? If you were brought up by violent or alcoholic parents, does that mean you will be the same? If your parents are not considered clever in academics it does not mean that the child will be that way..... What a load of old tosh !!!
Yes some aspects are influenced to a certain degree but we all have free will and a choice - biological handout and upbringing is not and should not ever be an excuse for someones actions.
Quote by kfn1778
Finally there are worse things / people than liars (psychopaths spring to mind) and before condemning all liars to eternal damnation remember they got dealt a random hand of biological brain structure that influenced the type of person they became and this is further modified by their upbringing which again is down to chance so part of why they lie is because that is what they are....
True in some respects, I mean men can't help how they were made!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote by Juniper_couple
What a load of old tosh !!!
I guess that quote gave it away horny, that the soap box was trying to get out of the cupboard
As for the lie to your dad, i dont count that as one, i did much the same with my gran - Yes i would do the same ten times over again just like you hunni
At risk of getting flamed here... this is not meant to offend.
I do not agree that you cannot blame upbringing BUT I do agree that everyone has a choice about how they live their lives as an adult.
People are all different - I got out of the habit of lying a long time ago - but do blame it on my childhood. I lied as people didn't believe the truth. As a child, if no-one believes you when you tell the truth - then you lie to become accepted. I did for years.
As an adult, I had the choice - carry on lying - or deal with it, recognise the problem and find somewhere that I could fit in, confront and get over the past and have a future. Not everyone has that point in their lives where they can deal with stuff, and those are the ones that carry on lying.
I do not believe that anyone can honestly say their childhood has not affected how they are today. I do believe that we have the chance and choice to recognise it, and change it. Clasic example being my parenting is vastly different to that which I recieved.
I'm not wanting to recount my life story here but will say this - when you grow up in a house full of liars, you have a choice - lie yourself or become completely isolated, withdrawn and shunned. Telling the truth, I was never believed (as happened - hence I learned to lie fast), and face the consequences at home.
I experienced this again with an ex - told the police, his relatives, everyone and was told that I was lying. So then I did lie - stupidly said he was a nice bloke and apologised - when in fact, he was completely psycho and I thought he was going to kill me.
I lied to protect myself, my mother and my sister. I lied to get a pub job aged 14 so that I could afford the bus fare to school and pay rent, I lied to a violent boyfriend to see the man who is now my husband until I got the confidence to escape, I lied at school so as not to get taken into care for living alone. None of these lies were to hurt anyone, but all were selfish for self-preservation. Can anyone honestly say they'd not lie in that situation?
Having told the truth and getting badly let down by adults - I lied all the time.
I'd be decieving myself if I said i'd never lie again, it's the motives behind the lie that are different. I can honeslty say i'd hope never to lie to hurt anyone, and never have done. We all tell lies in some shape or form, anyone who thinks they don't, is decieving themself.
As you can probably tell, this is an issue very close to my heart. From the replies on here, it'd appear that most think a liar is always a person who lies and does not change. I differ - we all lie but in different circumstances.
On a lighter note... I am size 10, blonde and 6ft tall... honest!
xxxx
I do not agree that you cannot blame upbringing BUT I do agree that everyone has a choice about how they live their lives as an adult.
People are all different - I got out of the habit of lying a long time ago - but do blame it on my childhood. I lied as people didn't believe the truth. As a child, if no-one believes you when you tell the truth - then you lie to become accepted. I did for years.
As an adult, I had the choice - carry on lying - or deal with it, recognise the problem and find somewhere that I could fit in, confront and get over the past and have a future. Not everyone has that point in their lives where they can deal with stuff, and those are the ones that carry on lying.
I do not believe that anyone can honestly say their childhood has not affected how they are today. I do believe that we have the chance and choice to recognise it, and change it. Clasic example being my parenting is vastly different to that which I recieved.
I'm not wanting to recount my life story here but will say this - when you grow up in a house full of liars, you have a choice - lie yourself or become completely isolated, withdrawn and shunned. Telling the truth, I was never believed (as happened - hence I learned to lie fast), and face the consequences at home.
I experienced this again with an ex - told the police, his relatives, everyone and was told that I was lying. So then I did lie - stupidly said he was a nice bloke and apologised - when in fact, he was completely psycho and I thought he was going to kill me.
I lied to protect myself, my mother and my sister. I lied to get a pub job aged 14 so that I could afford the bus fare to school and pay rent, I lied to a violent boyfriend to see the man who is now my husband until I got the confidence to escape, I lied at school so as not to get taken into care for living alone. None of these lies were to hurt anyone, but all were selfish for self-preservation. Can anyone honestly say they'd not lie in that situation?
Having told the truth and getting badly let down by adults - I lied all the time.
I'd be decieving myself if I said i'd never lie again, it's the motives behind the lie that are different. I can honeslty say i'd hope never to lie to hurt anyone, and never have done. We all tell lies in some shape or form, anyone who thinks they don't, is decieving themself.
As you can probably tell, this is an issue very close to my heart. From the replies on here, it'd appear that most think a liar is always a person who lies and does not change. I differ - we all lie but in different circumstances.
On a lighter note... I am size 10, blonde and 6ft tall... honest!
xxxx
Quote by Thinkingnaughty
At risk of getting flamed here... this is not meant to offend.
I do not agree that you cannot blame upbringing BUT I do agree that everyone has a choice about how they live their lives as an adult.
People are all different - I got out of the habit of lying a long time ago - but do blame it on my childhood. I lied as people didn't believe the truth. As a child, if no-one believes you when you tell the truth - then you lie to become accepted. I did for years.
As an adult, I had the choice - carry on lying - or deal with it, recognise the problem and find somewhere that I could fit in, confront and get over the past and have a future. Not everyone has that point in their lives where they can deal with stuff, and those are the ones that carry on lying.
I do not believe that anyone can honestly say their childhood has not affected how they are today. I do believe that we have the chance and choice to recognise it, and change it. Clasic example being my parenting is vastly different to that which I recieved.
I'm not wanting to recount my life story here but will say this - when you grow up in a house full of liars, you have a choice - lie yourself or become completely isolated, withdrawn and shunned. Telling the truth, I was never believed (as happened - hence I learned to lie fast), and face the consequences at home.
I experienced this again with an ex - told the police, his relatives, everyone and was told that I was lying. So then I did lie - stupidly said he was a nice bloke and apologised - when in fact, he was completely psycho and I thought he was going to kill me.
I lied to protect myself, my mother and my sister. I lied to get a pub job aged 14 so that I could afford the bus fare to school and pay rent, I lied to a violent boyfriend to see the man who is now my husband until I got the confidence to escape, I lied at school so as not to get taken into care for living alone. None of these lies were to hurt anyone, but all were selfish for self-preservation. Can anyone honestly say they'd not lie in that situation?
Having told the truth and getting badly let down by adults - I lied all the time.
I'd be decieving myself if I said i'd never lie again, it's the motives behind the lie that are different. I can honeslty say i'd hope never to lie to hurt anyone, and never have done. We all tell lies in some shape or form, anyone who thinks they don't, is decieving themself.
As you can probably tell, this is an issue very close to my heart. From the replies on here, it'd appear that most think a liar is always a person who lies and does not change. I differ - we all lie but in different circumstances.
On a lighter note... I am size 10, blonde and 6ft tall... honest!
xxxx
Sounds more like self presevation and survival skills......
:) Im also blonde, 6ft and tell the odd fib occasionally
xanaisx
I think that truth is often misused. In many cases we are 'forced' or made to tell the truth. Or when we want the truth, it appears as a very selfish demand. Doctors, lawyers, priests witness the truth but keep much of it secret.
All this makes using the truth an uneasy commodity in the world we live in. So lying is largely avoiding the business of being put into the awkward state of truthfullness.
I use lies and lying. But is that a truthfull statement? I could be lying.
All this makes using the truth an uneasy commodity in the world we live in. So lying is largely avoiding the business of being put into the awkward state of truthfullness.
I use lies and lying. But is that a truthfull statement? I could be lying.