Limerick Competition - RESULTS

1 Sep 2004

There once was a guy from the 'States
Whose cock was as big as his 'plates'*
Now, I didn't mind
Until I did find
His feet, they were size eighty-eights
*Note to the Atlantically Challenged - 'plates' = 'plates of meat' = feet

1 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
Cowboys she prefers,
with their whips and their spurs
Now she rides the Magnificent Seven.

1 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
She met fighters and blighters
and five-times-a-nighters
and writers, whose limericks don't rhyme.

1 Sep 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
She met fighters and blighters
and five-times-a-nighters
and writers, whose limericks don't rhyme.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

1 Sep 2004

Quote by Reese
There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
One guy offered his knob
Just to fill up her gob
And instead put a Chicken Kiev in!

:laughabove: :laughabove: Love it! Where did that come from - and don't say the back of the oven!
I've got to share this one:
Said the Duchess of Denzer at tea,
"Young man do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit
"Do you belch when you shit?"
I think that was one up to me!

1 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad in Swinging Heaven
They met in a queue
Had sex - as you do -
Now they're barred from the 7-11
Boom Boom!
I thank you...

1 Sep 2004

Damn this is diffcult to find rhymes for!
There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad in Swinging Heaven
She met up with a monk
Who was a bit of a hunk
and invited along all his bretheren
There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad in Swinging Heaven
the trade union leaders that replied started a protest
when she wouldn't get undressed
on a scale comparible with the dockers union marches organised in the 1920s by the late Labour MP (and later to be cabinet minister) Ernest Bevin

1 Sep 2004

IMPORTANT UPDATE
The comp will close at 7:00 PM Friday 3rd September
Three independent judges have been asked to decide on the winnerâ€¦â€¦â€¦. cool

(our very own Administrator Mark, has agreed to be one of the judges â€“ now I know he is beyond bribery) rolleyes

The winner and prize will be announced by 8:30 Friday Evening.
Keep â€˜em coming â€“ the more the merrier lol

:lol: :lol:

1 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad in Swinging Heaven
She got short, she got tall,
Young and old, loved 'em all
(except teenagers on web-cams a-pervin')

1 Sep 2004

Argh, I`m over-limericked, and Sarge, a word please............ rotflmao

Venusxxx

1 Sep 2004

Quote by VenusnMars
Argh, I`m over-limericked, and Sarge, a word please............
Venusxxx

:dunno: :dunno: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

1 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad in Swinging Heaven
She met an old geezer
who tried so hard to pease her
in the end the old wheezer stopped breathin'
(Getting a bit desperate for rhymes now confused

)

2 Sep 2004

There's a girl who's been to Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
They were all out to lunch
So she went to a munch
And fell in love with a man called Se7en
:inlove:

2 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
placed an ad on the site SwingingHeaven
she'd had so many pics
of guys flashing their dicks
that she'd strummed herself silly by 7

2 Sep 2004

Quote by westerross
There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
One guy offered his knob
Just to fill up her gob
And instead put a Chicken Kiev in!

:laughabove: :laughabove: Love it! Where did that come from - and don't say the back of the oven!
Tell you what: Just come by for a visit, Vix will pin you down, and I'll show you! ;)
:twisted:
~Reese! surprised

2 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
placed multiple ads on S Heaven
.......................................
more cockshots than jags
that filled fifteen bin bags
but she only hung onto eleven . . . erm . . bin bags full
......................................
she got a one liner
from WankingRecliner
who wanted to cyber for seven . . . . erm . . . minutes
........................................
was asked if she's bi
which she couldn't deny
cos she married, poor lass, bernard levin
........................................
thought she looks familiar
cos i've seen someone similar
her real name's gloria estefan . . . . . so i got her to autograph me cock and had it tattoed woo hoo
........................................
we set up a meet
but thought why the cold feet
i was shocked to discover andre previn :shock: redface

neil x x x x ;-)

2 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon.
Who Placed and ad on Swinging Heaven
To her Ad he replied,
And she thought she had died,
When he slid in his full length 11!!!!!!!

2 Sep 2004

The other judges have now been veted and sworn in...........
JudyTV and Easy will join Mark on the pannel.
I'm not about this evening, (Thursday), so if you see this slipping down the list people..............please give it a bump.... ta! wink

Good Luck to you all............. an keep em cuming

2 Sep 2004

Sarge gimme the use of your limmerick generator.
As I am crap at this and can't do it sad

:(

3 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon.
Who Placed and ad on Swinging Heaven
She met up with Gus,
who arrived on the bus
But she came on the train, so they're even.

3 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon.
Who Placed and ad on Swinging Heaven
She met up with Mark,
who glowed in the dark
And lit up her face with his jism.

3 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon,
who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
she'd put in her ads
she really wanted four lads
but the pics were so hot she got seven.
lame sad

3 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon.
Who Placed and ad on Swinging Heaven
With Pinnochio she matched,
but with "no strings attached"
he collapsed in her thatch, so she's leavin'

3 Sep 2004

There was a young lady from Devon
Who placed an ad on Swinging Heaven
She wanted a Jock
With a caber like cock
And now she is Mrs McNeven
KinkyLizard

3 Sep 2004

Quote by frogster
The comp will close at 7:00 PM Friday 3rd September
(our very own Administrator Mark, has agreed to be one of the judges â€“ now I know he is beyond bribery)
The winner and prize will be announced by 8:30 Friday Evening.

There was a young fellow called Mark
Judged a limerick comp for a lark
Now the contest is done
but he won't say who's won
He likes keeping us all in the dark. rotflmao

3 Sep 2004

There was a young man called Ice Pie,
Who's limericks one couldn't deny
were many and varied
so much that it's fair he'd
drawn with himself in a tie!
This is just to mark Ice's magnificent effort.

3 Sep 2004

there was a young man called Tune
who washed through out the whole month of June
the ladies all followed
in the shower he wallowed
and then he came out like a prune!

3 Sep 2004

Not one to shirk my responsability an all.... (only nipped in to check PMs and then remembered I was supposed to judge this bloody thing)....but I've now cast my 5 votes with Mr. Frogster.
wave

I'm off to bed now (the countess is getting impatiant again. rolleyes

:twisted: ).

3 Sep 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
there was a young man called Tune
who washed through out the whole month of June
the ladies all followed
in the shower he wallowed
and then he came out like a prune!

Gee thanks - I'm struggling with a rhyme for fem_manc_cpl. Give me a month or two and I'll be with ya.

3 Sep 2004

It's ok tune I'll be getting anew one soon cos I hate it myself.
It was rather off the cuff in the attempt to break the most people online ever record.
I had been loitering in the chat room up until then!