Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
looking for help
Sex God
Well it is only the second post you have done in the forums, or maybe you are refering to the ads section? I will take it you mean the ads, but they are completely different from the forums and dont work the same. You also have to remember that there are thousands and thousands of single blokes out there and you have to make yourself stand out from the rest. I dont mean to sound harsh, but why would a female/couple want to reply to you? You have to make them want to reply.
the following post might give you some pointers, but remember you only get out of this place what you are willing to put in, and two posts, you havent exactly put in that much of an effort!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/20451.html
Good luck.
the following post might give you some pointers, but remember you only get out of this place what you are willing to put in, and two posts, you havent exactly put in that much of an effort!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/20451.html
Good luck.
Quote by starshidefire
I'm not trying to sound like a dick but maybe people could be put off by the poor spelling
I have to admit, bad spelling, grammar and punctuation is really off-putting as far as I'm concerned..........and don't get me started on 'Text Speak' I don't care how gorgeous a guy is, or how big his cock, if he can't string a coherent sentence together I won't be bothering to investigate further.
Sex God
I do agree bad spelling can be off putting but sometimes it is just bad typing, well that's excuse and the fact that I often type in the dark and cant see the keyboard to recify the errors 
Sex God
There ya go tiger, the guys are giving you some decent advice about presenting yourself in the written form now all you need to do is point me in the direction of your picture or advert and I can give you an honest opinion on just how butt ugly you are.
Quote by davej
There ya go tiger, the guys are giving you some decent advice about presenting yourself in the written form now all you need to do is point me in the direction of your picture or advert and I can give you an honest opinion on just how butt ugly you are.
DaveJ you are sooooo meanBut you make me laugh :wink:
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
There ya go tiger, the guys are giving you some decent advice about presenting yourself in the written form now all you need to do is point me in the direction of your picture or advert and I can give you an honest opinion on just how butt ugly you are.
DaveJ you are sooooo meanBut you make me laugh :wink:
I know HLB... I know, its been mentioned before, I just cant help myself. Truth be known I'm just a cuddly ol' bunny really :wink:
Well he wanted help, so this is what his ad says. There isn't a photo Dave!! 
:? :?
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
:? :?hi iam carl from leeds 44yo not that good looking but good at wot counts ???/ i have blue eyes 5ft 7" tall with a 7" cock iam looking for my 1st timer with a couples well to try bi love give in o sex can any one help me
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Well he wanted help, so this is what his ad says. There isn't a photo Dave!!
hi iam carl from leeds 44yo not that good looking but good at wot counts ???/ i have blue eyes 5ft 7" tall with a 7" cock iam looking for my 1st timer with a couples well to try bi love give in o sex can any one help me
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
There ya go then Carl, even you think your an ugly fuck and in the true sense of keeping the harmony I will just agree with you, always makes people feel better so...butt ugly it is.
I don't think that being butt ugly is necessarily the problem though, your advert is very negative and not well laid out, By your own admission, your a short ugly person, but why draw attention to that, work on the positives that you have and highlight those. If you still want to include the short ugly bit then twist the advert around a bit, I'm thinking,roleplay......I'm thinking,seasonal......
I'm thinking, :karaoke: Hi..Hooooo!......Hi Hooooo! :karaoke:
hubby dressed as a prince, wifey as a snow white, its obvious they are gonna need a short ugly to play a dwarf, not any old dwarf, not an original dwarf, but 'Knobby the dwarf', ...slight in stature, not handsome, but well hung...are you still with me? good I'm thinking summint like this:-
hubby he is behind you!
wifey oh no he is not!
hubby he is behind you!
wifey oh no he is not!
your bit :karaoke: Hi.......Hoooooo! :karaoke: ...(action)....WALLOP!
wifey :shock: oh my...yes he was! :crazy:
anyways give it some thought. I'm off now cos I've got to play the Dick Van role tonight against her Mary Poppins and I'm struggling to remember the words to 'Chim Chimmery'.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Well he wanted help, so this is what his ad says. There isn't a photo Dave!!
hi iam carl from leeds 44yo not that good looking but good at wot counts ???/ i have blue eyes 5ft 7" tall with a 7" cock iam looking for my 1st timer with a couples well to try bi love give in o sex can any one help me
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
There are two photos in his photo section
Honestly, men can be so useless :lol2:
There's some good advice there on what you've done wrong, now he's a bit on how to do it right imho.
Like Davej says, you ad is telling people all the negative things about you.
If you were advertising you car for sale, would you put in the advert all the good things about it or all the things that were wrong with it?
Try to draw attention to what you have to offer to people.
And join in on the forum. Let people get to know you :thumbup:
Like Davej says, you ad is telling people all the negative things about you.
If you were advertising you car for sale, would you put in the advert all the good things about it or all the things that were wrong with it?
Try to draw attention to what you have to offer to people.
And join in on the forum. Let people get to know you :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Well he wanted help, so this is what his ad says. There isn't a photo Dave!!
hi iam carl from leeds 44yo not that good looking but good at wot counts ???/ i have blue eyes 5ft 7" tall with a 7" cock iam looking for my 1st timer with a couples well to try bi love give in o sex can any one help me
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
There are two photos in his photo section
Honestly, men can be so useless :lol2:
Don't blame me Dawn, I just assumed that Bilko had been given three stripes for being organised, a leader, halfway bright and relied on that
its only after I relied on his information that I've found out that, one was for being able to tie three different types of knot, another for being able to light a fire and the third for being brave camping all night in a wood on his own without a torch. the first thing that strikes me is the 'can you help me' bit.
To be frank I read that and switched off. I dont think many of us are here for a shag cos it will 'help' someone - we want a shag cos its fun!
For me personally, there's nothing more offputting, in an ad, than lack of confidence. I think we all have insecurites but your ad is focussed on the negative - and reads like you 're here looking for a helping hand not a good time.
and due to that you probably wont get past first base in order to meet people in person & show us different!
HLB has given you the best advice - come join in in the Cafe, come post a bit and let people get to know your post style and personaility. For those who are truly swingers and not just here for a quick shag or a helping hand , the forums & just being around socially so people get to know the 'real' you, not your advert, works wonders!
hope that helps
To be frank I read that and switched off. I dont think many of us are here for a shag cos it will 'help' someone - we want a shag cos its fun!
For me personally, there's nothing more offputting, in an ad, than lack of confidence. I think we all have insecurites but your ad is focussed on the negative - and reads like you 're here looking for a helping hand not a good time.
and due to that you probably wont get past first base in order to meet people in person & show us different! HLB has given you the best advice - come join in in the Cafe, come post a bit and let people get to know your post style and personaility. For those who are truly swingers and not just here for a quick shag or a helping hand , the forums & just being around socially so people get to know the 'real' you, not your advert, works wonders!
hope that helps
