I am Married and live in Newcastle. Im not gonna harp on about how my wife doesnt understand me but I SWEAR she doesnt LOL.
I am extremely open minded but want to know How easy and discrete is it for a married male to enjoy this freedom.
Please reply if its only to say work at ure marriage
Wise words but hey im still faithful
Thankyou
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Married men
There's no simple answer to this......some people advertising for fun don't care if you're married and might not even ask as long as it doesn't affect you having fun. However some people do care and won't play with married men.....it really depends on the person.
Why don't you try dogging to start off with? You can enjoy the fun of watching but not having to join in.....
Just my humble opinion of course.....
Why don't you try dogging to start off with? You can enjoy the fun of watching but not having to join in.....
Just my humble opinion of course.....
and an opinion i needed Thanks
I live In Newcastle and although this is the first time ive posted ive been enjoying the site for some time .Ok My point is that i need discretion at all times as im a professional and if i was to be seen or indeed photographed my position would be "buggered" So dogging although (god id love to ) is an option its not one
I live In Newcastle and although this is the first time ive posted ive been enjoying the site for some time .Ok My point is that i need discretion at all times as im a professional and if i was to be seen or indeed photographed my position would be "buggered" So dogging although (god id love to ) is an option its not one
Hi there,
Thought I'd throw my twopence worth in if your interested. Like you I live in Newcastle, I'm married & play away, I have had some success on this site & find that MOST people don't care about your maritall status but if you want a more secure way of getting into the scene you might consider swinging clubs, Obviously discretion is the key thing here & everybody is of a like mind (we all know why we're there). I found it very useful the first couple of times to chat openly to people about the scene & picked up some very useful advice & made a couple of friends into the bargain, & yes I did get lucky. If you'd like details of the club pm me & I'll fill you in on the protocol. Hope you have as much fun as i've had.
Alan
Thought I'd throw my twopence worth in if your interested. Like you I live in Newcastle, I'm married & play away, I have had some success on this site & find that MOST people don't care about your maritall status but if you want a more secure way of getting into the scene you might consider swinging clubs, Obviously discretion is the key thing here & everybody is of a like mind (we all know why we're there). I found it very useful the first couple of times to chat openly to people about the scene & picked up some very useful advice & made a couple of friends into the bargain, & yes I did get lucky. If you'd like details of the club pm me & I'll fill you in on the protocol. Hope you have as much fun as i've had.
Alan
Personally have problem with married men and women wanting to play away and think better to think about talking to your partner if you actually want to go through with the real thing. Think many people only really want to fantasise but if it came to the real meet may find it very very scary. Not doing marraige counselling here but one meet could lead to guilt, divorce or a lifetime of fun or opposite! So dont have a go at me married men please please just a personal point a view. 
Just be yourself and be honest. Take your time and sus out what you want from this site, then you can make arrangements based on your likes and preferences. Likewise with the people you meet, being honest lets them be able to make the best judgement as to whether you are compatible.
There is such a massive variety of people on here, so it's imperitive that decisions and opinions are respected. Carry on joining in with the Forums and see how things pan out, no rush and have fun on the journey, not just the end result
:D
There is such a massive variety of people on here, so it's imperitive that decisions and opinions are respected. Carry on joining in with the Forums and see how things pan out, no rush and have fun on the journey, not just the end result
:D we think that if you want to swing, you involve her. what you are doing is a sure way of destroying your relationship! we have sex regularly with other couples and we both get a tremendous buzz from it, but that's because we are enjoying it together and there is no guilt involved!
suggest you both go to a swingers club "just to watch" and see how she feels! that's exactly how my wife started after being reluctant at first. Now she can't wait to get her hands on her next man!
suggest you both go to a swingers club "just to watch" and see how she feels! that's exactly how my wife started after being reluctant at first. Now she can't wait to get her hands on her next man!
Never thought I would have agreed to my wife having sex with another man, but now I would love it, the only trouble is now sadly, I am divorced and someone else is having the pleasure.
I suppose the danger of one's wife having sex with someone else is she might prefer him to you, so I would recommend that she only has sex with a young boy, because he is only interested in her c**t and not a relationship and your wife and you can stay together.
I suppose the danger of one's wife having sex with someone else is she might prefer him to you, so I would recommend that she only has sex with a young boy, because he is only interested in her c**t and not a relationship and your wife and you can stay together.
I am only offering a PERSONAL view here and not sitting in judgement, and certainly not representing the site as a moderator.
Swinging to us means consensual sex between people who do so with the knowledge of their partner. We swing with likeminded couples who are not doing anything behind a partners back and we openly discuss every swinging event that we take part in. At times Wilma has told me guys have whispered to her that they "really fancy her and would love to spend some time on their own with her" and because of that openness there is a absolute level of trust between the pair of us. Every text message and MSN conversation is shared and I do not think that there is a single event in swinging that has taken place during our swinging, even in separate rooms, that we have not shared.
In my OPINION anyone who engages in sex with other people without the knowledge and consent of their real life partner is not a swinger - they are cheating. I am sorry if that offends people but it is our opinion. We have always said that we swing for fun and friendship and not to wreck relationships.
There is also the issue of STI's. We know the risks we take, which we always minimise. But they are still risks. Therefore if one of us has any slight change that could indicate a medical issue related to STI's we are immediately aware of that risk. A partner of someone engaged in cheating does not have the knowledge that there is an element of risk associated with their sex lives because the partner who is cheating has not told them of that risk. This could lead them to overlook symptoms that could later lead to serious health issues. To date neither of us has had any cause for concern and we hope we never will, but you just cannot be 100% sure.
Recently a couple contacted us and they were open that she was not in a relationship but he was married and having relationships with this other woman without the knowledge of his wife and would we still swing with them. The flat answer was no. (She was a bloody stunner as well!) We go to great lengths to get to know people before we swing with them and as a consequence I think I can quite honestly say that we have NEVER swung with anyone that is cheating on a relationship. This is probably why we do not get involved in either the club scene or the dogging scene.
Lofty made a point about the dangers of letting your partner have sex with someone else and your partner preferring someone else. Your partner does not need to have sex with someone else to prefer them. If you are at all doubtful of the strength of your relationship then in my mind you should not be engaged in swinging. No matter what I do in my life if Wilma decided that she preferred someone else to me there is not a single bloody thing I could do to prevent her leaving. We swing for fun and enjoyment because we love one another and we know that no matter how good the sex is, no matter how gorgeous another woman is, no matter how many tricks she can do that Wilma does not do, no matter how much someone else professes their undying love for me I WILL go home at the end of every night with Wilma. FULL STOP.
There is an old expression:
If you love someone,
Set them free...
If they comes back, they're yours,
If they don't, they never were....
The suspicious person would say:
If you love someone,
Set them free ... but get someone to follow them
You cannot police peoples minds and lives entirely. I think I will never lose Wilma to anyone else - but that does not make me complacent - neither does 12 years of marriage. We seem to suit one another and I could not imagine my life without her. Everything we do in swinging is to enhance our lives together. She may well have a different opinion on that to me.
Moorhopper - you asked a question - "How easy is it to enjoy this freedom?" My answer to you is "What freedom?" How can you share the fun and experiences with the one person that you truly love - unless of course you don't love them? I do not ask you to answer the question - I merely pose it as a rhetorical question........
As I said at the start - this is all just my opinion. If you want to be offended by it then that is a personal issue for you. I address it to no one and stand in judgement of no one.
We love our swinging lifestyle and love sharing it with likeminded people.
Regards
Fred
Swinging to us means consensual sex between people who do so with the knowledge of their partner. We swing with likeminded couples who are not doing anything behind a partners back and we openly discuss every swinging event that we take part in. At times Wilma has told me guys have whispered to her that they "really fancy her and would love to spend some time on their own with her" and because of that openness there is a absolute level of trust between the pair of us. Every text message and MSN conversation is shared and I do not think that there is a single event in swinging that has taken place during our swinging, even in separate rooms, that we have not shared.
In my OPINION anyone who engages in sex with other people without the knowledge and consent of their real life partner is not a swinger - they are cheating. I am sorry if that offends people but it is our opinion. We have always said that we swing for fun and friendship and not to wreck relationships.
There is also the issue of STI's. We know the risks we take, which we always minimise. But they are still risks. Therefore if one of us has any slight change that could indicate a medical issue related to STI's we are immediately aware of that risk. A partner of someone engaged in cheating does not have the knowledge that there is an element of risk associated with their sex lives because the partner who is cheating has not told them of that risk. This could lead them to overlook symptoms that could later lead to serious health issues. To date neither of us has had any cause for concern and we hope we never will, but you just cannot be 100% sure.
Recently a couple contacted us and they were open that she was not in a relationship but he was married and having relationships with this other woman without the knowledge of his wife and would we still swing with them. The flat answer was no. (She was a bloody stunner as well!) We go to great lengths to get to know people before we swing with them and as a consequence I think I can quite honestly say that we have NEVER swung with anyone that is cheating on a relationship. This is probably why we do not get involved in either the club scene or the dogging scene.
Lofty made a point about the dangers of letting your partner have sex with someone else and your partner preferring someone else. Your partner does not need to have sex with someone else to prefer them. If you are at all doubtful of the strength of your relationship then in my mind you should not be engaged in swinging. No matter what I do in my life if Wilma decided that she preferred someone else to me there is not a single bloody thing I could do to prevent her leaving. We swing for fun and enjoyment because we love one another and we know that no matter how good the sex is, no matter how gorgeous another woman is, no matter how many tricks she can do that Wilma does not do, no matter how much someone else professes their undying love for me I WILL go home at the end of every night with Wilma. FULL STOP.
There is an old expression:
If you love someone,
Set them free...
If they comes back, they're yours,
If they don't, they never were....
The suspicious person would say:
If you love someone,
Set them free ... but get someone to follow them
You cannot police peoples minds and lives entirely. I think I will never lose Wilma to anyone else - but that does not make me complacent - neither does 12 years of marriage. We seem to suit one another and I could not imagine my life without her. Everything we do in swinging is to enhance our lives together. She may well have a different opinion on that to me.
Moorhopper - you asked a question - "How easy is it to enjoy this freedom?" My answer to you is "What freedom?" How can you share the fun and experiences with the one person that you truly love - unless of course you don't love them? I do not ask you to answer the question - I merely pose it as a rhetorical question........
As I said at the start - this is all just my opinion. If you want to be offended by it then that is a personal issue for you. I address it to no one and stand in judgement of no one.
We love our swinging lifestyle and love sharing it with likeminded people.
Regards
Fred
:shock: Not a view I recall hearing before Lofty. I think we are probably on opposite sides of the divide here. I would say that if a man is concerned about his wife prefering sex with someone else, then that couple should really have a serious talk about what goes on in the bedroom. Well, serious is not the right word. Honest talk would be better.
When you have sex with a woman over a period of time, you learn to read her, both her mind and her body. This allows you to know just where to touch, , where to linger, when to move on. With time you can sense how to keep each other right on the edge. No amount of exuberance and enthusiasm could ever give the same depth and intensity that comes from two people compleatly in tune with each other.
lhk
Kat
When you have sex with a woman over a period of time, you learn to read her, both her mind and her body. This allows you to know just where to touch, , where to linger, when to move on. With time you can sense how to keep each other right on the edge. No amount of exuberance and enthusiasm could ever give the same depth and intensity that comes from two people compleatly in tune with each other.
lhk
Kat
I can only agree with everything Fred has said, after 22 years together MrsFC is also my best friend and we do not have any secrets from one another.
We have not tried swinging yet but we would not be here unless we were curious and who knows what the future may hold, I do know though that we have a bond so strong nothing or nobody can break it.
It's funny really... sometimes we remark we are gonna wake up fused together one day as we spend so much time together, do I think if she had sex with another man it would change anything?
NOT A CHANCE
I hope this makes sense to somebody 
ops:
We have not tried swinging yet but we would not be here unless we were curious and who knows what the future may hold, I do know though that we have a bond so strong nothing or nobody can break it.
It's funny really... sometimes we remark we are gonna wake up fused together one day as we spend so much time together, do I think if she had sex with another man it would change anything?
NOT A CHANCE
I hope this makes sense to somebody
ops: Personally we do not meet with married men without their wife's consent/knowledge. This is very much a personal choice and is not in any shape or form a judgement on those that do meet with married men OR on married men who swing without their wife's consent/knowledge. It is just that we have no desire to be caught up in a messy divorce.
For us swinging is about having fun. Therefore we only meet with single guys after getting to know them first.
Kat has said all this many times before and I will not bore you all by repeating Kat's words
:lol:
The main thing is that we have fun together and that our relationship is stronger than it has ever been in our 22 years of marriage.
Kit
xxx
For us swinging is about having fun. Therefore we only meet with single guys after getting to know them first.
Kat has said all this many times before and I will not bore you all by repeating Kat's words
:lol: The main thing is that we have fun together and that our relationship is stronger than it has ever been in our 22 years of marriage.
Kit
xxx
Hiya Merdoc
How easy is it - it is not easy. A married man playing without partners consent is competing with all the single blokes who are also members.
How discrete is it - I doubt there is anyone here who does not WANT to be discrete. If you are married and decide to swing - you take your chances and if it all blows up in your face - you take whatever comes your way.
lhk
Kat
How easy is it - it is not easy. A married man playing without partners consent is competing with all the single blokes who are also members.
How discrete is it - I doubt there is anyone here who does not WANT to be discrete. If you are married and decide to swing - you take your chances and if it all blows up in your face - you take whatever comes your way.
lhk
Kat
many are the single guys who believe themselves to be at the bottom of the swinging pile....
They delude themeselves, they risk nothing othjer than perhaps being named as a third party..... so what is lost?
married Guys ( and Girls) without permission are the bottom of the pile as they have so much to lose, they take all the risks... They play away for many reasons but the risks are the same...
Just thinking as a partnered person....
Regards
all
Mirth
They delude themeselves, they risk nothing othjer than perhaps being named as a third party..... so what is lost?
married Guys ( and Girls) without permission are the bottom of the pile as they have so much to lose, they take all the risks... They play away for many reasons but the risks are the same...
Just thinking as a partnered person....
Regards
all
Mirth
Sex God
I'm living with someone at the moment, but she doesn't know that I visit this site.
TBH we've talked about becoming adventurous in the bedroom before and she's not keen at all. :cry: She feels she's too old (at 31
) to start to explore her sexuality and doesn't want to share me with anyone in that way, so I won't be an "active" member unless her opinion chages.
I hope me using the board doesn't offend anyone, but I accidently stumbled into here and I quite like the place.
The members seem friendly and supportive (although a little cliquey, but that's understandable given the nature of the site) and as I'm a bit of a flirt at times I thought I'd keep popping back into here just to lurk (probably the voyeur in me LOL and I know most of you won't mind me watching :wink: ) and occasionally post.
Now to the reason for posting......Moorhopper, I feel you really need to think about the relationship you're in and whether it's a happy one for you. You appear to be a nice guy, as far as I can tell from a couple of posts, but it seems to me you're trying to legitimise having an affair/casual sex as swinging, which to my mind it isn't.
You'll always be able to find people that will have sex with married people and they're not always swingers, I'm concerned that you may see the swinging comunity as a source of attachment-free sex, but it could all go wrong quite easily and I'm sure that someone, possibly in the same situation as you or relying on descretion for some other reason, wouldn't appreciate being cited in a messy divorce case.
I hope what I've said above hasn't peed you off, it's just my outside view based on what you've posted. I hope this hasn't sounded too preachy or put you off visiting this board, it wasn't meant to. :D
TBH we've talked about becoming adventurous in the bedroom before and she's not keen at all. :cry: She feels she's too old (at 31
) to start to explore her sexuality and doesn't want to share me with anyone in that way, so I won't be an "active" member unless her opinion chages.I hope me using the board doesn't offend anyone, but I accidently stumbled into here and I quite like the place.
The members seem friendly and supportive (although a little cliquey, but that's understandable given the nature of the site) and as I'm a bit of a flirt at times I thought I'd keep popping back into here just to lurk (probably the voyeur in me LOL and I know most of you won't mind me watching :wink: ) and occasionally post.Now to the reason for posting......Moorhopper, I feel you really need to think about the relationship you're in and whether it's a happy one for you. You appear to be a nice guy, as far as I can tell from a couple of posts, but it seems to me you're trying to legitimise having an affair/casual sex as swinging, which to my mind it isn't.
You'll always be able to find people that will have sex with married people and they're not always swingers, I'm concerned that you may see the swinging comunity as a source of attachment-free sex, but it could all go wrong quite easily and I'm sure that someone, possibly in the same situation as you or relying on descretion for some other reason, wouldn't appreciate being cited in a messy divorce case.
I hope what I've said above hasn't peed you off, it's just my outside view based on what you've posted. I hope this hasn't sounded too preachy or put you off visiting this board, it wasn't meant to. :D
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
You have a PM Easy
And you have one back. :D
I have quickly read some replies and thank you for taking time to reply to a point that in my view is felt and agonised over by many married men who although i trivalised , feel shackled by love and commitment to their loved ones.
I havent been on since i posted but was suprised at least at the replies. It seems there are many men out here who feel the same and advice from Fred and Easy are taken onboard
I would add to the debate that i was not looking for a relationship and that i WAS ineeded looking for just some fun on line or not. I agree most married men would run a mile but like me they would be hugely and emotionally charged just to get some attention . That is what a relationship when you are not cherished makes you feel.
Pleasure and Jusy I respect your views however as like all people if you accept to see a married man and you know it then you have to accept he has a conscience
Can i just say to all the others who have posted to this thread Thankyou so much. Please im me
Update is ive had a wonderful weekend with K and whilst i know she will never swing I may broach the subject
I havent been on since i posted but was suprised at least at the replies. It seems there are many men out here who feel the same and advice from Fred and Easy are taken onboard
I would add to the debate that i was not looking for a relationship and that i WAS ineeded looking for just some fun on line or not. I agree most married men would run a mile but like me they would be hugely and emotionally charged just to get some attention . That is what a relationship when you are not cherished makes you feel.
Pleasure and Jusy I respect your views however as like all people if you accept to see a married man and you know it then you have to accept he has a conscience
Can i just say to all the others who have posted to this thread Thankyou so much. Please im me
Update is ive had a wonderful weekend with K and whilst i know she will never swing I may broach the subject
Sex God
Quote by MOORHOPPER
....... feel shackled by love and commitment to their loved ones.
Hmmm....interesting choice of words.
Quote by MOORHOPPER
I agree most married men would run a mile but like me they would be hugely and emotionally charged just to get some attention . That is what a relationship when you are not cherished makes you feel.
Yeah I get a kick out of flirting. I do it in real life as well (sometimes), but that's all I do. I must admit I've been tempted recently by a girl I met through a friend of a friend, but as soon as I look at R, my other half, I realise that's exactly what she is, my other half. Someone I need to be a whole person.
Probably sounds really wierd, but for me it's true. She does put me through hell sometimes and I know I've done the same to her, but it's our love for each other that keeps us together. If you don't feel something similar then maybe it's time look at where you want to be and what you want to be doing.
Is it just me or does anyone else think moorhoppers not really happy in his current relationship? The phrasing you use when describing your marriage/commitments seem to be a little negative.
You seem to feel trapped by what you have at the moment and as you're probably aware these are not good feeling to have.
Quote by MOORHOPPER
Update is ive had a wonderful weekend with K and whilst i know she will never swing I may broach the subject
Good.
You need to do this a lot more before you consider broaching the subject IMHO, to make sure your relationship is sound and that you're both not just papering over the cracks or staying together out of habit or a misplaced sense of responsibility.Chances are if you're having doubts about the relationship, she may be as well. I really think you need to talk to each other.
I don't know about anyone else, but I would have thought that swinging in a relationship that's not completely sound and trusting wouldn't be a good idea. Just my thoughts though, I don't know if anyone will agree with me.
Finally (sorry for the long posts
) good luck with whatever you decide. Wow - What an interesting thread...
I wasn't asked by my husband (now ex) if I was interested in swinging.... such a shame as I would have had a go and seen how it went.... I found out he had been swinging (I use the term lightly as I didn't have knowledge and therefore he was cheating !) for 6 years.
The aspects that caused me such a lot of distress were : him cheating, him not being honest with me and therefore throwing away the chance for us to enjoy swinging together and therefore perhaps many more years of marriage, but worst of all the fact that in all the meets he had not once did he use protection and therefore he had put me at risk healthwise......
We are now divorced but boy does he kick himself as I have now decided as a single lady to explore the swinging scene....
Come on married guys (and gals that meet them) - at the very least use protection....
I wasn't asked by my husband (now ex) if I was interested in swinging.... such a shame as I would have had a go and seen how it went.... I found out he had been swinging (I use the term lightly as I didn't have knowledge and therefore he was cheating !) for 6 years.
The aspects that caused me such a lot of distress were : him cheating, him not being honest with me and therefore throwing away the chance for us to enjoy swinging together and therefore perhaps many more years of marriage, but worst of all the fact that in all the meets he had not once did he use protection and therefore he had put me at risk healthwise......
We are now divorced but boy does he kick himself as I have now decided as a single lady to explore the swinging scene....
Come on married guys (and gals that meet them) - at the very least use protection....
