Quote by westerross
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2) Can you trust the person to be telling you the truth if he's or she's prepared to lie on something fairly fundamental?
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He who lies once can lie twice, true, but do we know when they are lying?
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Quote by
..........
2) Can you trust the person to be telling you the truth if he's or she's prepared to lie on something fairly fundamental?
.............
He who lies once can lie twice, true, but do we know when they are lying?
Exactly.
.
Quote by
..........
2) Can you trust the person to be telling you the truth if he's or she's prepared to lie on something fairly fundamental?
.............
He who lies once can lie twice, true, but do we know when they are lying?
Liars are often caught out in the end - tangled webs and all that - no matter how many knitting needles are involved
Orgasminator
swinging with a partners knowledge is cool, cheating on an unaware partner isnt..... though i guess only people who have been decieved to and had their hearts broken will share my viewpoint.
if someone is in a loveless marriage they should exit it, lifes too short to be unhappy.
if someone is in a loveless marriage they should exit it, lifes too short to be unhappy.
Quote by Mallock2006
However, I do feel I have a right to judge people who tell me a pile of bollox and impede my choice as to what situation I get myself into.
Here I go contradicting myself..
You have the right to judge someone you are about to meet in as much as if they are married and you dont play with married people then you have the right to say no
What I meant by my earlier statement was that we cant just slate guys/gals who are married and here playing without their partners knowledge as untill it comes the time where we may meet those people its really none of our business...
I find it difficult to write what I want to say and still leave it a legible piece of text
As I started reading this thread, my answer was clear and simple, but HLB has already said (independently) pretty much what I would have said, but possibly more politely than I would.
I've been very fortunate during my time here to have "met" a very wide variety of people.
I have played with married women. Knowingly. And I'm quite sure unknowingly.
Hang me. I'm a bloke.
A couple of the ladies have said (in varying terms) "Before we go any further (pre-shagging) -I need to tell you that I'm married but play alone . . . . . . "
That's my preferred method.
Some haven't.
I also have friends that have been terribly hurt by other people not being as open and honest as perhaps they could have been - earlier in the process.
Having seen that hurt and heartache up close, I have to reiterate - and answer HLB's question/point.
While with MK III, me and her had our own suspicions about a someone being married/attached while developing a relationship than went past fuck-buddy with another member of the site. We tried to subtly make the one aware of the other. It all ended in tears. As expected.
In short - ( :shock: ) - I would have no problem of conscience raising my suspicions again. And again.
I would include those close to me in the bit of Mallock's post I've highlighted. It become our business when it might have an effect on us - and those close to us.
A Right to be Judgemental ???????
I have every right to judge anyone I have contact with.
What I don't have the right to do is make that judgement public knowledge, or worse; pass that judgement off as fact.
I am a married man on this site and will not bore anyone with the reasons why - I would just like to sy dont sit in judgement on us because there are also people out there who sit in judgement of anyone who is in the swinging world shall we say and it would be just as wrong for them to as you say "out" them because everyone has family and children etc that they would not wish to know about their bedroom activities
I do have to say one thing in agreement though - guys be honest and let people know if your married that way the other people can make an informed decision wether to get involved or not
I do have to say one thing in agreement though - guys be honest and let people know if your married that way the other people can make an informed decision wether to get involved or not
Quote by woodengnome
I am a married man on this site and will not bore anyone with the reasons why - I would just like to sy dont sit in judgement on us because there are also people out there who sit in judgement of anyone who is in the swinging world shall we say and it would be just as wrong for them to as you say "out" them because everyone has family and children etc that they would not wish to know about their bedroom activities
I do have to say one thing in agreement though - guys be honest and let people know if your married that way the other people can make an informed decision wether to get involved or not
:thumbup:
Quote by woodengnome
I am a married man on this site and will not bore anyone with the reasons why - I would just like to sy dont sit in judgement on us because there are also people out there who sit in judgement of anyone who is in the swinging world shall we say and it would be just as wrong for them to as you say "out" them because everyone has family and children etc that they would not wish to know about their bedroom activities
I do have to say one thing in agreement though - guys be honest and let people know if your married that way the other people can make an informed decision wether to get involved or not
Well put old boy.
Warming the Bed
That's all we ask for 
Some honesty regarding the situation
:smile2:
Some honesty regarding the situation
:smile2:
Warming the Bed
I would not suggest that anyone sit in judgement of what others do, that was not suggested in the original blog,
Maybe it was not made clear and i apologise for that, what I meant was that single or married it is up to you what you do I agree, but its the ones who not only conceal their marital status but are defiant in the deceat when they are the ones who suggest a permanent relationship,
Yes RedHot you are right to say that it is nothing to do with me what people in here get up to, but then again it has everything to do with me when a "single" guy goes one step too far with their intentions.
Honestly is a good thing, we can all deal with that. No secrets round the corner when things do go further than a slap and tickle.
In my opinion, yes it is very wrong to suggest these people are *outed* :shock:
You may chose not to get involved with such folk, but at the end of the day, what the heck has it got to do with you anyway?
What other people get up to is entirely their own business. They make their own life choices, good or bad, as do we all.
I should hate to think other people are sitting in judgement of others on this site. Surely as a sexually liberated group, we get enough of that in the outside vanilla world don't we?
I might also point out, we do not condone naming and shaming on this site, in any shape or form :?
Oh and what has this got to do with the Chatroom?
TJ
Maybe it was not made clear and i apologise for that, what I meant was that single or married it is up to you what you do I agree, but its the ones who not only conceal their marital status but are defiant in the deceat when they are the ones who suggest a permanent relationship,
Yes RedHot you are right to say that it is nothing to do with me what people in here get up to, but then again it has everything to do with me when a "single" guy goes one step too far with their intentions.
Honestly is a good thing, we can all deal with that. No secrets round the corner when things do go further than a slap and tickle.
Quote by RedHot
If these persons are found out is it wrong of me to think they should be outed??
In my opinion, yes it is very wrong to suggest these people are *outed* :shock:
You may chose not to get involved with such folk, but at the end of the day, what the heck has it got to do with you anyway?
What other people get up to is entirely their own business. They make their own life choices, good or bad, as do we all.
I should hate to think other people are sitting in judgement of others on this site. Surely as a sexually liberated group, we get enough of that in the outside vanilla world don't we?
I might also point out, we do not condone naming and shaming on this site, in any shape or form :?
Oh and what has this got to do with the Chatroom?
TJ
Quote by easyease
swinging with a partners knowledge is cool, cheating on an unaware partner isnt..... though i guess only people who have been decieved to and had their hearts broken will share my viewpoint.
if someone is in a loveless marriage they should exit it, lifes too short to be unhappy.
I would agree with all of the above.
Firstly, I agree that honesty about ones domestic situation should be paramount. I am not married, but could be counted as someone who may as well be, but for a certificate and a ring. (For the moment, at least, beyond that, who knows?)
There can't be many people who haven't had their heart broken, and in an ideal world, which this is not, everyone would leave a hopeless situation and be happy ever after. Unfortunately, Hans Christian Anderson doesn't write the script for the majority of us. Nor will he provide another house and a second income that may well be needed to support the blissful life thereafter.
Married men who are able to swing with their partners full consent are in a relationship where that works for them both. Most others are not. I imagine that some, in a longterm relationship or marriage may feel that they are both totally different people than they were when they first embarked on it, possibly barely out of their teens. It may not be a loveless relationship, but to put it bluntly, what about sexless? Should they not wish to disturb what in all other aspects, may be a fulfilling and possibly even a family orientated situation, isn't a no strings arrangement preferable to an affair? That may come under the "sympathy shag" banner, but I would think it is how the subject is discussed with a prospective partner beforehand, if indeed it is relevent to the other party.
Oh and before I go and take cover, not all of the above refers to me or my situation! It is however my obsevations of too many people I know and watched as sadly, their lives have slipped by, both male and female.
I don't post much, but when I do, I will bore the arse off you! :thumbup:
I'm just glad that a few have pointed out it's not only married men.
I get so tired of sad old sexual stereotypes, only married men pretend not to be, only women are prostitutes, only men are paedophiles and so on ad nauseum.
I'm married; I make no secret of it. My wife knows I play, but doesn't want to any more herself. It's our choice and other than stating the fact I don't see why I should be interrogated about it any further, and I have been on several occasions. One such ended with accusations flying and abuse being hurled because I wouldn't let them phone her to get her permission to sleep with me and I therefore must have been a lying, cheating scumbag. Which is a direct quote.
Sometimes we all need to take it easy. It's not your relationship. If you end up becoming emotionally involved with someone you swing with that's a different matter, but as long as it's playmates it's not really any of your business why.
I get so tired of sad old sexual stereotypes, only married men pretend not to be, only women are prostitutes, only men are paedophiles and so on ad nauseum.
I'm married; I make no secret of it. My wife knows I play, but doesn't want to any more herself. It's our choice and other than stating the fact I don't see why I should be interrogated about it any further, and I have been on several occasions. One such ended with accusations flying and abuse being hurled because I wouldn't let them phone her to get her permission to sleep with me and I therefore must have been a lying, cheating scumbag. Which is a direct quote.
Sometimes we all need to take it easy. It's not your relationship. If you end up becoming emotionally involved with someone you swing with that's a different matter, but as long as it's playmates it's not really any of your business why.
Quote by herts
swinging with a partners knowledge is cool, cheating on an unaware partner isnt..... though i guess only people who have been decieved to and had their hearts broken will share my viewpoint.
if someone is in a loveless marriage they should exit it, lifes too short to be unhappy.
Married men who are able to swing with their partners full consent are in a relationship where that works for them both. Most others are not. I imagine that some, in a longterm relationship or marriage may feel that they are both totally different people than they were when they first embarked on it, possibly barely out of their teens. It may not be a loveless relationship, but to put it bluntly, what about sexless? Should they not wish to disturb what in all other aspects, may be a fulfilling and possibly even a family orientated situation, isn't a no strings arrangement preferable to an affair? That may come under the "sympathy shag" banner, but I would think it is how the subject is discussed with a prospective partner beforehand, if indeed it is relevent to the other party.
:thumbup:
Some good points, getting close to my personal situation, may as well divulge. I met and fell in love with 'er indoors' at a tender age and was married at 21. I thought I knew everything about my wife but gradually things came out about my wives past that have had an effect about our sex life. She had a shit of a Father who gave her a nightmare of an up bringing (I'll leave it to you to fill in the gaps here). As she's got older this has gradually eaten away at her to the point where sex is something she see's as dirty and can no longer really enjoy. Friends and myself have been supportive and tried to get her to talk to a therapist about it but she's very stubborn and wont. After her Father died last year it has got worse as she now imagines he's in the bedroom with us watching, getting off on seeing her having sex.
I have occasionally joked with her about going to a club for a different kind of therapy and the response has been arctic to say the least.
I love sex and love my wife but my sex life has been and still is shit. I don't want an affair as I don't want to get emotionally involved with anyone. I came here for NSA fun to spice up my life before I get too old and to help keep my sanity and marriage together. Not gone quite as I hoped but the people here are great.
As I said earlier, you can't tar all married men with the same brush; every story is different. My marriage isn't loveless and we have kids so I don't want to 'Get out' but why shouldn't I have some fun elsewhere as long as it's discreet?
I'd hate to think someone contacted me out of sympathy, that's NOT why I posted this. I don't want your sympathy, just your body will do
It will be no consolation, I'm sure, but I know of three couples within our circle of friends that are in a similar situation, if not because of the underlying problem that your wife is burdened with. I can only offer my best wishes for her. In one of the three couples, it is the wife that is looking elsewhere. I am surprised in a way, that the support of the "single" male has been as high as it has been in this thread.
Often I have read or at least come away from a thread with the impression of attached males being seen as cheating shitbags. Sure, that's an accurate description to a degree, but it's the reasons behind it that others can't and sometimes, don't wish to know. I suppose it is worth remembering that the more indignant responses to attached men that come from couples, is that the couples in question are by nature of this site, more sexually open to ideas and suggestions. One would assume also, more able to hold a discussion about variety or experimentation without a weeks worth of silent treatment or worse, only a few days of it.
It may be very easy for them to broach the subject of sex outside the marriage for example, where it may well cause untold grief to another couple, even in a sexless relationship. Perhaps because of their enlightened approach to sex, they are not always able to understand how it is that other couples are not in a position to do likewise. In my mind, that is why it seems that phrases such as "..go and sort it out" or "..if you aren't happy with it, leave" are so easily thrown about.
Anyway, have a good weekend everyone.
Often I have read or at least come away from a thread with the impression of attached males being seen as cheating shitbags. Sure, that's an accurate description to a degree, but it's the reasons behind it that others can't and sometimes, don't wish to know. I suppose it is worth remembering that the more indignant responses to attached men that come from couples, is that the couples in question are by nature of this site, more sexually open to ideas and suggestions. One would assume also, more able to hold a discussion about variety or experimentation without a weeks worth of silent treatment or worse, only a few days of it.
It may be very easy for them to broach the subject of sex outside the marriage for example, where it may well cause untold grief to another couple, even in a sexless relationship. Perhaps because of their enlightened approach to sex, they are not always able to understand how it is that other couples are not in a position to do likewise. In my mind, that is why it seems that phrases such as "..go and sort it out" or "..if you aren't happy with it, leave" are so easily thrown about.
Anyway, have a good weekend everyone.
This has been a very interesting thread to read. It's also made me think...............when I'm out dogging, or at a club, I don't ask the single guys I play with if they are married, because, to be perfectly honest, I don't care if they are or not.
I'd be interested to find out if any of the other women who go dogging or to clubs DO ask?
I'd be interested to find out if any of the other women who go dogging or to clubs DO ask?
Quote by thewet1
I know that everyone has the right to be a member of a chat/swingers site, but is it right that there are men out there who swear they are single but are concealing the fact that there is a wife and kids out there.
It is not wrong if the wife knows what the husband gets up to, and is happy for the husband to play and have fun. But in my considered opinion it is very wrong for a husband to play/swing behind his wifes back.
If these persons are found out is it wrong of me to think they should be outed??
I think you are talking absolute rubbish. I am a married man of a certain age (59) how many men of my age are going to be single? Are you going to exclude us from having fun. As long as the people you are lucky enough to meet know the score about you from the outset where's the harm. Live and let live.
Warming the Bed
When my husband plays on his own I dont want to know anything about it. he is the same way and doesnt want to know what I get up to. we do have rules and we trust the other to stick to them. its what a loving relationship is all about.
we have been married 30 years and swinging for about 25 years off and on and it works for us. we have no jealousies, no affairs and very very few arguments.
If a woman wanted to "out" my husband because she thought he was cheating I would thump her for sticking her nose in.
Ten years ago a man told my husband that he had seen me with a guy in a swingers club and thought he should know. My husband told him to **** off and thumped him.
Swinging is just about sex, not a lonely hearts club where we seek new life partners , thats what dating agencies are for. Keep it simple..... if you like em, then shag em. thats all ,no more no less
Jay x
we have been married 30 years and swinging for about 25 years off and on and it works for us. we have no jealousies, no affairs and very very few arguments.
If a woman wanted to "out" my husband because she thought he was cheating I would thump her for sticking her nose in.
Ten years ago a man told my husband that he had seen me with a guy in a swingers club and thought he should know. My husband told him to **** off and thumped him.
Swinging is just about sex, not a lonely hearts club where we seek new life partners , thats what dating agencies are for. Keep it simple..... if you like em, then shag em. thats all ,no more no less
Jay x
Warming the Bed
When my husband plays on his own I dont want to know anything about it. he is the same way and doesnt want to know what I get up to. we do have rules and we trust the other to stick to them. its what a loving relationship is all about.
we have been married 30 years and swinging for about 25 years off and on and it works for us. we have no jealousies, no affairs and very very few arguments.
If a woman wanted to "out" my husband because she thought he was cheating I would thump her for sticking her nose in.
Ten years ago a man told my husband that he had seen me with a guy in a swingers club and thought he should know. My husband told him to **** off and thumped him.
Swinging is just about sex, not a lonely hearts club where we seek new life partners , thats what dating agencies are for. Keep it simple..... if you like em, then shag em. thats all ,no more no less
Jay x
we have been married 30 years and swinging for about 25 years off and on and it works for us. we have no jealousies, no affairs and very very few arguments.
If a woman wanted to "out" my husband because she thought he was cheating I would thump her for sticking her nose in.
Ten years ago a man told my husband that he had seen me with a guy in a swingers club and thought he should know. My husband told him to **** off and thumped him.
Swinging is just about sex, not a lonely hearts club where we seek new life partners , thats what dating agencies are for. Keep it simple..... if you like em, then shag em. thats all ,no more no less
Jay x
Quote by fiftyfun
If a woman wanted to "out" my husband because she thought he was cheating I would thump her for sticking her nose in.
Ten years ago a man told my husband that he had seen me with a guy in a swingers club and thought he should know. My husband told him to **** off and thumped him.
Swinging is just about sex, not a lonely hearts club where we seek new life partners , thats what dating agencies are for. Keep it simple..... if you like em, then shag em. thats all ,no more no less
Jay x
Unfortunately. to some people, it can be a bit more than that - from 'aquiantances', to friends, to people finding each other through the site and falling in love. Its rare, but it happens, and some people do tend to look out for one another around here.
When that guy saw you in a club with someone else, I presume he didnt know you and hubby were swingers - so was doing what he felt was right and didnt want it on his conscience. To have it throw back in his face (or smacked, as the case may be) is rather extreme, when all he was doing was being honest
People will act on their instinct & what they feel is right to do regardless of wether their advice, warnings or revelations are heeded or welcomed by the recipient, because when / if things ever do go tits up, it wont be on thier conscience.
And as for 'thumping her for sticking her nose in' (:shock
, there's a 'why didnt anyone tell me' to even things out which side of the fence you sit on depends on whether you give a fuck about other people, or not :dunno:Me, I'd risk that smack in the mouth if it means at a later date I would be sitting comfortably in the knowledge of 'I told you so' .
