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Married Women and Men who play away don''''t have a category

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Quote by jaymar
The Marquis de Sade was twisted and cruel too

No, he was simply telling you his point of view - as you asked.
He could have taken it as a personal attack on his own current marital status....
Quote by markz
My quest is to make this site even better than it is already.

what would we do without you..... rolleyes
lol :lol: :lol:
Markz, this did make me chuckle!!
Nola x
My work is done here....... :roll:
time to hit the road then!
theme tune to The Incredible Hulk playing in the background
Back to the original thread, perhaps the poll should be amended to include the category:
I swing but don't tell my husband / wife
i would have chosen that option if it was there when i was actively swinging (cheating)
dont need it now cus i no longer have a husband and i no longer swing
Quote by louise_and_joe
Why would you want to search for playing away's?
What's the big difference confused
Louise

I think its more to do with the strong feelings some people have about not meeting / playing with those who are playing away.
But then, for my tuppence, I rather suspect that those who are in a relationship (married or otherwise) who are playing away would be somewhat retiscent about admitting this anyway. I'd rather suspect that they would fill out single...
At the end of the day though you don't know how many of the men advertised as single (I use this as an example as I think it would be the majority case for the use of this option) are in fact married.
Not that we're bothered one way or the other. We're out here to play for lots of sex. Frankly if they are married or not (or entirely honest or not) is frankly of little concern to us. We're not out for a relationship with anybody (we've already got one thanks smile) and we're certainly not going to pass judgement on what other people choose to do.
Quote by Mr-Powers

My work is done here....... rolleyes

time to hit the road then!
theme tune to The Incredible Hulk playing in the background
the Littlest Hobo?
lp
Quote by LondonPlaything

My work is done here....... rolleyes

time to hit the road then!
theme tune to The Incredible Hulk playing in the background
the Littlest Hobo?
lp
:karaoke:
"Theres a voice, keeps on callin me,
Down the road, thats where I'll always be,
Every stop I make I make a new friend
Can't stay for long just roll my eyes & I'm gone again"
innocent
Feck, how sad am I?
Quote by Mallock2006
So perhaps all the couples/women/men that play with married or enpartnerd people should be made to fuck off and join dunno

redface surprisedops: I'm sorry I just had to do it didn't I. I clicked on it ....just to see...... rotflmao :rotflmao:
Quote by firelizard
So perhaps all the couples/women/men that play with married or enpartnerd people should be made to fuck off and join dunno

redface surprisedops: I'm sorry I just had to do it didn't I. I clicked on it ....just to see...... rotflmao :rotflmao:
Your signature really is spot on isnt it :lol2:
Quote by jameswanna
It seems a little strange when other sites make a very good living out of catering for the people who may be in a relationship they treasure but for one reason or another decide to play away. This site doesn't do that.
On here, these people are almost looked down on.... Why?
I think SH is missing a trick. There are alot of men and women on here who would declare their situations and positively seek each other out if SH added these as seperate categories.
Come on SH......... smell the coffee...... recognise the opportunity currently being missed.
James

As someone who has just become single for that very reason I hope they are looked down on because there is never any excuse for deliberately hurting someone in this way. I and many like me want no part of other people's misery. The idea of swinging to me is very different to playing away, its about sharing the experience, talking about it, watching and adding a spark. Its not about causing pain, imagine how you'd feel if the person you loved was cheating on you... it's the deceipt thats wrong. Liars are liars and rightfully should be looked down on. I wont play unless its open and above board. Maybe it sounds bitter? maybe it is.... but cheats are cheats and I have no time for them. Just my opinion.
Should I be looked down upon?
My partner said he no longer found me attractive, and did not want to be physical with me. But, he said, as long as I don't let him find out about it, I can do what I want with other people.
I adore him and he is my rock. I never want to leave him. But I can't live without affection.
Should I be looked down upon?
Maybe. I've done it to myself many, many times.
Quote by Cherrytree
Should I be looked down upon?

No. No. No.
Not at all.
Noladreams30 xxx
Quote by Cherrytree
Should I be looked down upon?

No, you shouldn't kiss
Maybe we should have options for
1.I get drunk then drive home
2.i con pensioners out of money
3.i've been in prison
4.I go fox hunting
number of possible undesirable things
just so it's out in the open and people can choose not to play with the above if they don't want to
or maybe we should just leave it as it is
Just judge people on how they post here and how they respond in pm/msn, then trust your instincts
I'm sorry but the only definate way to know if someone is single or not is to follow/have them followed for a period of time and who the hell is going to go to those lengths dunno
No-one should be looked down upon by anyone...
Its their business what they choose to do and I dont think anyone has the right to be judgemental regardless of what has happened in their past..
Quote by Mallock2006
I'm sorry but the only definate way to know if someone is single or not is to follow/have them followed for a period of time and who the hell is going to go to those lengths dunno
No-one should be looked down upon by anyone...
Its their business what they choose to do and I dont think anyone has the right to be judgemental regardless of what has happened in their past..

amen to that Mallock!!
and chezza, Mr Bone thinks youre WELL fit babes, and that Mr Chezza has poo in his eye!!!!
Why has he got poo in his eye?
lol
Quote by Cherrytree
Why has he got poo in his eye?
lol

:rascal:
Because he cant see how fit his wifey really is!!!!
Quote by Bonedigger
Because he cant see how fit his wifey really is!!!!

Still.............
His loss is most definately a gain for someone ;-)
Quote by Cherrytree
Should I be looked down upon?
My partner said he no longer found me attractive, and did not want to be physical with me. But, he said, as long as I don't let him find out about it, I can do what I want with other people.
I adore him and he is my rock. I never want to leave him. But I can't live without affection.
Should I be looked down upon?
Maybe. I've done it to myself many, many times.

I may be reading this wrong, I read this as he he giving you permission in a round about way which is different than having an afair!. Finding it difficult to say what I mean I hope this makes sense!!.
You're not wrong. But he still doesn't know about it.
Quote by firelizard
So perhaps all the couples/women/men that play with married or enpartnerd people should be made to fuck off and join dunno

redface surprisedops: I'm sorry I just had to do it didn't I. I clicked on it ....just to see...... rotflmao :rotflmao:
Um, so did I :oops: rolleyes
Quote by Cherrytree
Should I be looked down upon?
My partner said he no longer found me attractive, and did not want to be physical with me. But, he said, as long as I don't let him find out about it, I can do what I want with other people.
I adore him and he is my rock. I never want to leave him. But I can't live without affection.
Should I be looked down upon?
Maybe. I've done it to myself many, many times.

No absolutely not! and you didn't have to justify yourself by posting this in the main room, the people that matter know your reasons for doing what you do Cherry.. this is the contradiction I mentioned and I understand kiss
Quote by jaymar
No absolutely not! and you didn't have to justify yourself by posting this in the main room, the people that matter know your reasons for doing what you do Cherry.. this is the contradiction I mentioned and I understand kiss

I know, Mar, and I appreciate that. :kiss: It was when I read that I was in the category of someone who should be looked down on, that I felt I wanted to respond.
Quote by Cherrytree
Should I be looked down upon?
My partner said he no longer found me attractive, and did not want to be physical with me. But, he said, as long as I don't let him find out about it, I can do what I want with other people.
I adore him and he is my rock. I never want to leave him. But I can't live without affection.
Should I be looked down upon?
Maybe. I've done it to myself many, many times.

I wrote in an earlier post that "if you really treasured a relationship then you wouldn`t cheat" and to be honest i`ve never really thought in depth as to why a person may seek sex elsewhere from their marrige/partnership. After reading cherrytrees post as to why she looks elsewhere which I have the upmost respect for her honesty kiss, I have to say that even though I would not seek it out I can now see why other people may.
Quote by lyns
Should I be looked down upon?
My partner said he no longer found me attractive, and did not want to be physical with me. But, he said, as long as I don't let him find out about it, I can do what I want with other people.
I adore him and he is my rock. I never want to leave him. But I can't live without affection.
Should I be looked down upon?
Maybe. I've done it to myself many, many times.

I wrote in an earlier post that "if you really treasured a relationship then you wouldn`t cheat" and to be honest i`ve never really thought in depth as to why a person may seek sex elsewhere from their marrige/partnership. After reading cherrytrees post as to why she looks elsewhere which I have the upmost respect for her honesty kiss, I have to say that even though I would not seek it out I can now see why other people may.
Well, we've only been on SH and really back into swinging for about 9 months now. However we've already met 2 men who have been honest enought to admit they have partners but they play on their own.
One of these is 100% honest with his wife and does it with her blessing, really for the same reason that Cherrytree mentions. They are no longer physical, but he adores her and will / would never leave her and more importantly dosen't want too.
Of the other, he does it without his wifes knowledge as she is 100% vanilla and he has a more kinky nature.
And yes Lyns we can fully understand why people do it. Sometimes it can be the saviour of a relationship.
Quote by meat2pleaseu
number of possible undesirable things

that one'll do me, ta
lp
I think all the stuff about "cheating" is trying to argue black and white, when we're talking about people and there is no black or white. Sure some people will share similar reasons for wanting to do things, but there will be others that have totally different reasons. Does it make them any less valid? Some will argue yes, but I'll go with no.
As for Cherrys case (and I am using this as an example and I don't mean anything by it hun kiss ) I can see why it could make someone wanting a meet uncomfortable as to what they were getting involved with. There's no way to confirm that the partner is aware of what's happening and that could lead to a very sticky situation. I guess it'd come down to how bothered you were about "cheating" and how well you trusted the "cheat". At the end of the day, it's like any other meet, all about making a judgement call. If you're that offended or concerned, then walk away from the meet. No problems with morals and ethics then. rolleyes
And so to the original question ...... should we have a category for those playing away? Given some of peoples perceptions surrounding those "cheating", how many people would want it to be known they're cheating and reduce the number of potential meets they may have , or narrow their choice by advertising in a section that has some stigma attached to it, or even be known as a cheat?
My honest view is that this area of the site would probably die on it's ass. :lol2:
Quote by de_sade
:shock:
Oo-errr, it's suddenly gone very quiet.
biggrin
I expected this one to run and run....

Thread killer!
I think it's a good idea, I'm in a similar situation to cherrytree. I would like to be in a seperate group and then if I offend you, you can just leave me alone!! being seperate from people who just judge you without knowing you sounds good to me, or should I break up a successful relasionship and leave my wife and children just so it makes others feel better? At the end of the day anyone can take the moral high ground but then many would argue that this site should not exist. Live and let live, if you don't agree be tollerant, if you can't be tollerant go and shag someones partner with thier consent.
Quote by de_sade
Anything and any action can be justified by some folks in order for it to fit into their reality.
...snip...
Swinging isn't cheating...Unless you have some reason to justify why it might be...

You have kind of answered your own question.
It would depend on one's definition of cheating and one's definition of swinging as one might not correspond with the other directly.
I.e. a swinger might regard cheating as going for a romantic meal 'date' type thing with someone without telling them, sending messages planning things without the other party knowing about them, playing as a single when really they are a couple... etc... the list of things could go on and on depending on personal veiws.
I guess all of these possible things are open to the individuals interpretation and therefore up for debate as to whether they are 'valid' or 'not valid' in their own perception of reality or not.
Then there is the whole question of what you consider to be swinging which you might find many different answers as there are people on the scene.
To answer the original question, I think the categories are pretty much there anyway in the status selection menu. smile If there are changes to be made, let them be tweeked on other things.
kiss LG. x