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Masquerade Ball

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neilinleeds
Sex God
Quote by Fozzie Bear
Gosh this bodice is tight, I am feeling quite faint.

"You're feeling faint ?"
Who said that ?
{tumbleweed}
Faint / Feint ?
Give this bear a break !
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
oops bugger wrong emoticons ffs........
confused :? :? :cry: :cry: :cry:
neil :P
lucrezia__borgia
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett
Good afternoon fine people.
I have had to come inside lest the sun disturbs my porcelain complexion.
The ballroon is quiet just now - I may just lie quietly on the chaise-lounge until the party resumes. Gosh this bodice is tight, I am feeling quite faint.
God one of you fine gentleman get me a glass of water please - No, not that champagne, I had some the other evening and I do believe I was on the verge of losing my virtuousity.
Miss E. Bennett
Virginal spinster of the parish

Donna Bennett,
It appears that we are both competing for the affections of the fine gentlemen of the court. Perhaps we should sit together and converse on the subject, whilst partaking of some of the particularly fine wine I have brought with me.
Pray, sit down and I will pour you a goblet full.
I am in great need of a female friend and for this reason I am willing to consider an alliance with you.
Now stop those protestations, I am aware you know your place in this world and are lithe to overstep the class boundary. Admittedly it would have been better had you been my equal socially, but I am graciously willing to overlook that minor detail.
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
All right Elizabeth, how are you? Fancy a drink? Maybe a slow comfortable screw?
Unknown User
Misstress Borgia
I would most willing sit and converse with you. You should know that in my heart I do not totally agree with class boundaries.
I do fear you misunderstand me - I am not competing for the affections of these 'gentlemen' as my heart is pledged to my Mr Darcy. If I gain the attention of any of the other guests I can only say that I have done nothing to prompt them.
I thank you for the kind offer of some wine, but as I have already commented, I will not partake of fermented beveridges just now. I am content with my goblet of water.
Now on what subject would you like to talk? Is there a particular gentleman who has come to your attention?
Oh and please call me Lizzie as my sisters do - I feel we will become good friends - May I call you Lucy?
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Hello Lucrezia, fancy a drink, I will give you one eh? wink
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett
Gosh this bodice is tight, I am feeling quite faint.
Could one of you fine gentleman get me a glass of water please - No, not that champagne, I had some the other evening and I do believe I was on the verge of losing my virtuousity.
Miss E. Bennett
Virginal spinster of the parish

Heya Mees Bennetta - you feela faint cos you a mees me eh? I nowa loosen my chaps (stopsa tha chafing!) and then I loosen a the bodice - deal - OK? << fingers peestol >>
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Quote by Eli the Ugly
Heya Mees Bennetta - you feela faint cos you a mees me eh? I nowa loosen my chaps (stopsa tha chafing!) and then I loosen a the bodice - deal - OK? << fingers peestol >>

Look mate, I was here first, wait your turn ok.
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
My name a is Eli,
And a Ugly I ama
I speet on the floor
As much as I cana
My secret ees safe
Eef you heed not my clue
'Cos I rub my peestol
And eet suddenly grew.
Unknown User
Quote by DAVlD BENT
All right Elizabeth, how are you? Fancy a drink? Maybe a slow comfortable screw?

Mr Bent.
In this area - quite often a gentleman's surname is linked to his nature.
So, would we make of your name?
Bent....... Do you have a crooked back?
Are you dishonest
Or is there another connotation?
I will decline the offer of a drink as I already have some water.
As for the screw - thank you again, but no as I do believe that all my furniture is in good order and required no maintenance.
Miss E. Bennett
Virginal Spinster of the Parish
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
Quote by DAVlD BENT
Heya Mees Bennetta - you feela faint cos you a mees me eh? I nowa loosen my chaps (stopsa tha chafing!) and then I loosen a the bodice - deal - OK? << fingers peestol >>

Look mate, I was here first, wait your turn ok.
Excusa me - I shoot your boll***s offa eh? I'ma Ugly and I eata tha Chilli Huh!
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett
Mr Bent.
In this area - quite often a gentleman's surname is linked to his nature.
So, would we make of your name?

Look the name is BRENT ok, they just buggered it up with the registering for some reason. Will be having a word with the site manager I can tell you. Some kind of sick joke.
I only offered you a drink, not to get in your knickers, I'm not that sort of guy. I like to get to know a bird a bit beforehand. So tell me, how many blokes you had then?
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Quote by Eli the Ugly
Excusa me - I shoot your boll***s offa eh? I'ma Ugly and I eata tha Chilli Huh!

Oooooh get him. Know what they say about blokes in big hats eh? wink
You don't? Well, big hat, little willy. Only wants to shoot my balls off because he's jealous I've got some - and very full ones at that ladies he he he
Look mate, I don't want trouble. I know your type, had a mexican friend a while ago. Were good mates too, had to sack him tho, he wouldn't learn proper English. All for you guys coming over here and working for us, hell of a lot cheaper, respect to you and all that. But just don't cause trouble eh? Not in front of the ladies.
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
Quote by DAVlD BENT
So tell me, how many blokes you had then?

Hey she only hava one - thatsa me OK? I go shoota your Boll***ks offa and I see someone done it alreadya eh?
Unknown User
Quote by Eli the Ugly
Heya Mees Bennetta - you feela faint cos you a mees me eh? I nowa loosen my chaps (stopsa tha chafing!) and then I loosen a the bodice - deal - OK? << fingers peestol >>

Senor Ugly
I fear you do in fact proove the rule mention to Mr Bent. Your name describes you so accurately.
As for missing you, I had not noticed that you had departed. I did, however, notice a rather dashing gentleman (he did not give his name) who was most anxious to find you.
That pistol you are fingering - rather dainty - is quite amazing how small they can make them.
Miss E Bennett
Virginal Spinster of this Parish
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Oooh get him - you got a bit of an anger problem there mate, you need to calm down a bit.
Unknown User
Quote by DAVlD BENT
Look the name is BRENT ok, they just buggered it up /quote]
I rest my case

So tell me, how many blokes you had then?

Miss E. Bennett
Virginal Spinster of the Parish
You require a dictionary?
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett
That pistol you are fingering - rather dainty - is quite amazing how small they can make them.
Miss E Bennett
Virginal Spinster of this Parish

He he, nice one Liz, can call you Liz can't I, feel like we are friends now. Bit more familiar than Elizabeth - such a hard name. Not being insulting of couse, lots of nice Elizabeths around. It just sounds so butch, Liz is far prettier.
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Ooooh get her!!!!!!!
Frigid cow. You didn't think I actually fancied you did you. Nah, I was just being polite, because I'm that kind of guy.
Don't laugh lads, I was just mucking about yeh. Wouldn't really touch that, noway.
Unknown User
Quote by DAVlD BENT
He he, nice one Liz, can call you Liz can't I, feel like we are friends now.

You may call me Miss Bennett!
I feel we are aquanitances, not friends as yet.
lucrezia__borgia
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett
Misstress Borgia
I would most willing sit and converse with you. You should know that in my heart I do not totally agree with class boundaries.
I do fear you misunderstand me - I am not competing for the affections of these 'gentlemen' as my heart is pledged to my Mr Darcy. If I gain the attention of any of the other guests I can only say that I have done nothing to prompt them.
I thank you for the kind offer of some wine, but as I have already commented, I will not partake of fermented beveridges just now. I am content with my goblet of water.
Now on what subject would you like to talk? Is there a particular gentleman who has come to your attention?
Oh and please call me Lizzie as my sisters do - I feel we will become good friends - May I call you Lucy?

Lizzy,
I understand your reluctance to accept the differences between us that are caused by my higher social status, incomparable beauty and unrivalled charm. It is perfectly natural for you to be jealous of me. I understand this wholeheartedly and will endeavour to make exceptions for this during the course of our newly forged friendship.
Pray tell me about this “Mr. Darcy” of yours, I believe I have not yet had the pleasure of his acquaintance. I suspect that if he is enough to make your heart go a flutter he is a very fine specimen of man. Please inform him I will be sending for him at some point during the day in order to familiarize myself with him.
No need to worry dearest Lizzy, as a token of my affection towards you, I will return him to you unharmed when I have finished my dalliance with him. Look upon it as a favour from me to you, I will make a MAN of him, and will ask nothing in return from you!
I feel quite light headed at the thought, these charitable acts quite agree with me!
As for you competing for the affections of the rabble of gentleman (loosely worded) , I have no fear, I just wanted to prepare you for the inevitable knock backs you would face if you had been silly enough to try and compete with me.
I will have one of the servants bring a jug of iced water for your enjoyment, it looks as though I will be consuming the wine alone AGAIN!
I am SO glad we have become friends, it does me well to see that I am able to lower myself to your level and ignore the differences between us. We get on sooo well, I look forward to summonsing you to spend many happy hours in my company.
I fear your closeness to me may cause some jealousy amongst the other commoners so please be prudent as to whom you converse with.
Also, I feel it may be a little TOO familiar for you to call me Lucy, Madame or your highness shall suffice for now.
Your dear and true friend
Lucrezia
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
Quote by Elizabeth Bennett

He he, nice one Liz, can call you Liz can't I, feel like we are friends now.

You may call me Miss Bennett!
I feel we are aquanitances, not friends as yet.
Heya Mees Bennetta - don'ta touch that Benta bloka - he got no boll***s.
I stroka my Derringer and eet become a Colt Magnum .45 Magneefeeco!
lucrezia__borgia
Warming the Bed
Quote by DAVlD BENT
Hello Lucrezia, fancy a drink, I will give you one eh? wink

what could you give me that i would want?
and only ONE? your cheap scoundrel!
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Yeh, ok Miss Bennett. We seem to have got off on the wrong foot there. Just having a laugh you know. I'm not like that really, just ask my mates ...... second thoughts don't, theyre a right bunch of nutters he he he. Will drop me in it by telling you how I always have a laugh with the ladies.
Funny enough, I've been called Mr Darcy a few times. Can't see the resemblance myself, but, they say your mates see things in you that you can't see yourself. So it must be there. What do you reckon?
Eli__the__Ugly
Warming the Bed
Quote by lucrezia borgia
[Lizzy,
Pray tell me about this “Mr. Darcy” of yours, I believe I have not yet had the pleasure of his acquaintance. I suspect that if he is enough to make your heart go a flutter he is a very fine specimen of man. Please inform him I will be sending for him at some point during the day in order to familiarize myself with him.
Your dear and true friend
Lucrezia

Heya I'ma Darcy, Eli Darcy - I already a told youa - Geez. Hey I coma around an' see you tonighta Heh?
(Heya thata Lucya Borgia - she sounda lika the Lady Catherine de Burgha Heh?)
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Quote by lucrezia borgia
what could you give me that i would want?
and only ONE? your cheap scoundrel!

Lets see how we get on eh?
Barman, Babycham for the lady and I'll have another one of them lagers for nutters eh.
Bit of a nutter here Lucrezia, don't worry you will get used to me.
lucrezia__borgia
Warming the Bed
Quote by Eli the Ugly

It pleases me to read that you’re “magnificent with a rope round your neck”, because if you continue to speak to me in such a insulting and derogatory manner you will indeed have a rope round your neck!
lucrezia__borgia
Warming the Bed
Quote by DAVlD BENT
what could you give me that i would want?
and only ONE? your cheap scoundrel!

Lets see how we get on eh?
Barman, Babycham for the lady and I'll have another one of them lagers for nutters eh.
Bit of a nutter here Lucrezia, don't worry you will get used to me.
I applaud your persistence don Brent, however I shall have to decline!
I have a rather pressing prior engagement with the beau of donna Bennett
fagin
Forum Virgin
ello Mistress Bennett...I'm wondering if a little assistance may be desired, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement my dear.
I can rid you of the unwanted advances of the Bent bloke and the ugly fella..
just a small debt to repay some day
man__with__no__name
Warming the Bed
Quote by Eli the Ugly

You still here shorty?
(spits, lights cheroot).
I guess you don't hear so good. I already warned you once about bugging the ladies.
don't go talking about what you're gonna do tonight tapas breath-I done told you three times. You ain't walking out of The Old Churchyard in one piece or my name aint...well, it just aint.
What's that cactus dick? Who am I?. Well, there's clues enough. Mayebe I oughta make 'em easier for you. Tell you what shorty, I'll scratch my name on the bullet I drill you with, or maybe I'll write a little verse on your headstone:
Here lies the villain
They call Eli Ugly
Got a .45 slug
Plum through his Jugly.
'fraid I aint much of a poet.
Gotta mosey
Gotta get my poncho dry-cleaned
??
DAVlD__BENT
Warming the Bed
Look Lucrezia, I've just bought this Babycham for you.
Stay and drink it with me, or the lads will laugh their socks off and take the piss ........ please