Not sure if this is the correct section of the forum to place this, sure someone will inform me if it aint.
After nearly 3 years since we 1st took the plunge and started meeting people we are still having problems meeting people.
We are an average couple, family, shift work etc. We can never meet at the drop of a hat and any meeting we do have is arranged weeks in advance, this works for us bt not for others which we appreciate. Because of this we like to chat with people online to establish and rapport, and generally get to know the couple/single fem we are going to meet.
In the 3 years that we have been doing this we have met and played with, several times each, 2 single ladies, but only 4 cpls.
We do searches, send out messages to couples we think would be nice to get to know, recently sent out 30 messages and got 2 replies!! And yet we do not seem to be getting the opportunities to chat/meet with people.
Is it us we wonder? Are there other couples who, due to there personal situations are experiencing the same difficulties as we are?
We thought we would share our thoughts, see if anyone can come up with any suggestions, other than clubs, for improving the way we meet people
Many thanks in advance
Vauxy9
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Meeting difficulties
Sex God
Hi, just moving this across to the Cafe - that's probably where you'll get more discussion.
Nola x
Nola x
if i was looking for a couple to meet i probally wouldnt reply to your profile just for a couple of maybe silly small reasons.
you say who ever contacts you must send a face pic, but on first contact i may not want to send out face pics, especially when you dont have any of you two.
second reason all you pics are of her. now being a female id want to see some of him, and if your looking for bi males im guessing they would want to see him aswell.
in couples i think the female typically has the decideing vote, so im guessing the above applies again.
you can ignore all of this, its your right to go about this as you want to.
maybe this question was more about issues in arranging meets, but isnt first contact a big starting point?
xx fem xx
you say who ever contacts you must send a face pic, but on first contact i may not want to send out face pics, especially when you dont have any of you two.
second reason all you pics are of her. now being a female id want to see some of him, and if your looking for bi males im guessing they would want to see him aswell.
in couples i think the female typically has the decideing vote, so im guessing the above applies again.
you can ignore all of this, its your right to go about this as you want to.
maybe this question was more about issues in arranging meets, but isnt first contact a big starting point?
xx fem xx
Sex God
Quote by fem_4_taboo
if i was looking for a couple to meet i probally wouldnt reply to your profile just for a couple of maybe silly small reasons.
you say who ever contacts you must send a face pic, but on first contact i may not want to send out face pics, especially when you dont have any of you two.
second reason all you pics are of her. now being a female id want to see some of him, and if your looking for bi males im guessing they would want to see him aswell.
in couples i think the female typically has the decideing vote, so im guessing the above applies again.
you can ignore all of this, its your right to go about this as you want to.
maybe this question was more about issues in arranging meets, but isnt first contact a big starting point?
xx fem xx
have to say that i agree with a lot of what fem said.... all well and good being a couple and playing as a couple, but if you only see pics of one person then it does tend to raise a few flags....
if it is the issue of getting to know people and taking your time, then maybe going down the socials/munch route is best for you, where you can sit down and actually talk to people.....
Sex God
Definitely consider the munch and social option, always lots on in the north west.
I would also consider photos of both of you on the profile too.
Nola x
I would also consider photos of both of you on the profile too.
Nola x
Thanks Guys,
Valid points one and all, have been meaning to address the pictures situation for quite sometime and will defo do that.
As for the picture request, yes again, probably not a reasonable request,(and it has been changed) however I think at some point not unreasonable. Not many people do have them in public for many reason's, we do have them in private and will send them on request.
We have attend one munch, enjoyed it, but wouldnt say it was what we were hoping for, perhaps we should attend another???
I think what our main issue is that we seem to put in a lot of effort, sending messages, chatting etc but for some reason these are rarely converted into meets, (social or otherwise), however once they are we have never failed to have a great time and have had repeat meets with all the couples.
Perhaps its just us??? Maybe we are not "hardened" enough for some, but we do think that there must be other couples on the site who experience the same as we do.
We welcome all points of view into this discussion, thanks guys
Valid points one and all, have been meaning to address the pictures situation for quite sometime and will defo do that.
As for the picture request, yes again, probably not a reasonable request,(and it has been changed) however I think at some point not unreasonable. Not many people do have them in public for many reason's, we do have them in private and will send them on request.
We have attend one munch, enjoyed it, but wouldnt say it was what we were hoping for, perhaps we should attend another???
I think what our main issue is that we seem to put in a lot of effort, sending messages, chatting etc but for some reason these are rarely converted into meets, (social or otherwise), however once they are we have never failed to have a great time and have had repeat meets with all the couples.
Perhaps its just us??? Maybe we are not "hardened" enough for some, but we do think that there must be other couples on the site who experience the same as we do.
We welcome all points of view into this discussion, thanks guys
Sex God
The way I view Munches (apart from a generally fun night catching up with friends) is a chance to meet people who haven't popped up onto my radar, or to put faces to forum posts... It is sometimes a great way just to make likeminded contacts.
Oh and that brings up another point, I've had some great meets with people as a result of time spent posting in the forum. Either they have seen my posts and contacted me, or vice versa.
Dunno so much about chat as I don't spend enough time in there to make any valid comments.
Oh and that brings up another point, I've had some great meets with people as a result of time spent posting in the forum. Either they have seen my posts and contacted me, or vice versa.
Dunno so much about chat as I don't spend enough time in there to make any valid comments.
Sex God
Quote by vauxy9
Thanks Guys,
Valid points one and all, have been meaning to address the pictures situation for quite sometime and will defo do that.
As for the picture request, yes again, probably not a reasonable request,(and it has been changed) however I think at some point not unreasonable. Not many people do have them in public for many reason's, we do have them in private and will send them on request.
We have attend one munch, enjoyed it, but wouldnt say it was what we were hoping for, perhaps we should attend another???
I think what our main issue is that we seem to put in a lot of effort, sending messages, chatting etc but for some reason these are rarely converted into meets, (social or otherwise), however once they are we have never failed to have a great time and have had repeat meets with all the couples.
Perhaps its just us??? Maybe we are not "hardened" enough for some, but we do think that there must be other couples on the site who experience the same as we do.
We welcome all points of view into this discussion, thanks guys
Depends what you were hoping for really.
We love the social side and try to go to as many socials as we can, its a great way to introduce yourselves to others.
However, we too have difficulties in meeting, even pre-arranged meetings we sometimes have to cancel because of BMW`s work, he can be called away at short notice, and work has to come first, frustrating for the couple we were supposed to meet and frustrating for ourselves, we dont wish to let people down.
There are so many other factors you can throw in too, so its not easy but i think a lot of us are in the same boat.
However, we too have difficulties in meeting, even pre-arranged meetings we sometimes have to cancel because of BMW`s work, he can be called away at short notice, and work has to come first, frustrating for the couple we were supposed to meet and frustrating for ourselves, we dont wish to let people down.
There are so many other factors you can throw in too, so its not easy but i think a lot of us are in the same boat.
Not sure what we were hoping for from the munch really, perhaps more than we got? or maybe it was built up to be a great social event when in truth it wasnt?? We dont really know, perhaps another one is in order.
perhaps swingers are divided into different types and we have yet to find ours? maybe our journey hasnt taken or run its full course yet.
We have re-written our profile countless times, true our pics may need changing or more putting on, very few have face pics in public, perhaps we are to careful with whom we meet? perhaps we should alter our search profiles????
there are a thousand possible answers but what remains the overriding question is, when you send 30 plus messages out and they are all read, how many of those so called "couples" are actually couples? are actually active? and of the ones that are couples and are active whats wrong with an answer to a message?
perhaps a sub division of the website is called for? recreational swingers, hard core ones, married with kids and working, married no kids, etc etc
useful discussion though
:) 
perhaps swingers are divided into different types and we have yet to find ours? maybe our journey hasnt taken or run its full course yet.
We have re-written our profile countless times, true our pics may need changing or more putting on, very few have face pics in public, perhaps we are to careful with whom we meet? perhaps we should alter our search profiles????
there are a thousand possible answers but what remains the overriding question is, when you send 30 plus messages out and they are all read, how many of those so called "couples" are actually couples? are actually active? and of the ones that are couples and are active whats wrong with an answer to a message?
perhaps a sub division of the website is called for? recreational swingers, hard core ones, married with kids and working, married no kids, etc etc
useful discussion though
:) Sex God
Quote by vauxy9
there are a thousand possible answers but what remains the overriding question is, when you send 30 plus messages out and they are all read, how many of those so called "couples" are actually couples? are actually active? and of the ones that are couples and are active whats wrong with an answer to a message?
SO basically your thread is about you not getting replies and you're questioning whether people are what they say they are.
People don't always reply to messages, it's just one of those things. Forget them and move on.
If they don't answer you, why waste time worrying about whether they are actually a couple or active? Forget them and move on.
Sod all you can do about either situation so don't dwell on it. Change your profile as much as you want - words and pictures. But it'll still happen - people won't always reply.
True enough fecklebird but no our thread isnt about who replies to our messages, we dont dwell on it, we do move on.
yes it is frustrating but it wont change the fact that there are a lot of "couples" that arent really couples.
in answer to a previous question, yes we have thought about clubs but have heard more bad than good things, plus we're tight lol
maybe our lifestyle isnt suited to it, kids, one partner working away, the other on shifts, doesnt leave much in the way of spare time eh, oh hum lol
yes it is frustrating but it wont change the fact that there are a lot of "couples" that arent really couples.
in answer to a previous question, yes we have thought about clubs but have heard more bad than good things, plus we're tight lol
maybe our lifestyle isnt suited to it, kids, one partner working away, the other on shifts, doesnt leave much in the way of spare time eh, oh hum lol
