In these modern times of equality, where men and women are viewed as equals (is that a tongue in my cheek or am I just pleased to see you),how far have the equality boundaries really stretched?
In terms of anti-social behaviour it is reported that the number of women binge drinking and becoming involved in drunken brawls and even violent gang attacks is ever increasing.
A question for the men really…..
Excluding domestic violence and thinking more along the lines of city centre weekend street brawls - If you were duffed-up by a woman is it still more embarrassing than being duffed-up by a man?
Please note: this question or any of the contents of this thread are NOT aimed to endorse or condone acts of unprovoked violence on men (or anyone for that matter).
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MEN: If a woman duffed you up?
Is there still a stigma attached to men being duffed up by women
Sex God
:gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged:
Violence is violence, regardless of the size of the attacker or their gender. Lets face it, most drunk people are not much of a threat if they are really tanked up. However the angry drunk that is not incapable of standing is a risk.
I would hazard that if you are caught unawares or with some form of weapon once you are down on the floor you are in real danger, regardess of who is kicking you. I would also prosocute anyone who attacked me, and I would have no issue if they were female or male.
The fact I am so large would mean a court would be unlikely to beleive that I had not started the fight, or could not have won it is another matter. So is there a stigma, yes, would I care, not a bit...
(From a family where Mum regulary put Dad in hospital, but I know you were not after domestic violence so tried to base this on what I have seen on the street)
I would hazard that if you are caught unawares or with some form of weapon once you are down on the floor you are in real danger, regardess of who is kicking you. I would also prosocute anyone who attacked me, and I would have no issue if they were female or male.
The fact I am so large would mean a court would be unlikely to beleive that I had not started the fight, or could not have won it is another matter. So is there a stigma, yes, would I care, not a bit...
(From a family where Mum regulary put Dad in hospital, but I know you were not after domestic violence so tried to base this on what I have seen on the street)
Quote by tallnhairy
So is there a stigma, yes, would I care, not a bit...
Interesting. There was a fairly recent report which indicated over 50% of male PC's misreported or even failed to report personal attacks in instances where women or young girls were involved (the attacks mainly by street gangs of young girls aged 12-16). However this report was not compiled by the Police Force and its validity questionable (due to unclear sources).
Well, that's a certainly question I've never considered. I'd be more embarassed about the simple fact of being drawn into a street 'fight' with a woman than getting 'duffed up'. If there was any warning at all, I'd do my utmost to avoid it, even to the point of legging it - more so than with another man. Coward or gentleman, you decide!
But if, say, she whacked me from behind with no warning at all, the only embarassing thing would be hitting her back. It all depends (warning: cop out ahead!) on the circs, but if I had to defend myself I'd not be embarassed to do so, hopefully by way of restraining her, though that of course assumes she's not armed with a baseball bat! Or a six-inch stilleto.
But if, say, she whacked me from behind with no warning at all, the only embarassing thing would be hitting her back. It all depends (warning: cop out ahead!) on the circs, but if I had to defend myself I'd not be embarassed to do so, hopefully by way of restraining her, though that of course assumes she's not armed with a baseball bat! Or a six-inch stilleto.
Quote by da69ve
There shouldn't be a stigma attached to being smacked about by a woman its possible he has been brought up not to strike a woman back.
There shouldn't be a stigma attached to announcing you are a victim of any unprovoked attack.
But.....
A man in a pub , through no fault of his own, gets lamped by someone and turns up at work on monday morning with a huge shiner.
Is there a difference (through pride or whatever) between telling his workmates:
A) I was at the bar and some bloke came up and biffed me in the face. Before I knew what was happening a few more punches came and next thing I knew I was spark out on the floor.
B) I was at the bar and some woman came up and biffed me in the face. Before I knew what was happening a few more punches came and next thing I knew I was spark out on the floor.
Quote by PoloLady
There shouldn't be a stigma attached to being smacked about by a woman its possible he has been brought up not to strike a woman back.
There shouldn't be a stigma attached to announcing you are a victim of any unprovoked attack.
But.....
A man in a pub , through no fault of his own, gets lamped by someone and turns up at work on monday morning with a huge shiner.
Is there a difference (through pride or whatever) between telling his workmates:
A) I was at the bar and some bloke came up and biffed me in the face. Before I knew what was happening a few more punches came and next thing I knew I was spark out on the floor.
B) I was at the bar and some woman came up and biffed me in the face. Before I knew what was happening a few more punches came and next thing I knew I was spark out on the floor.
to be honest i don't think most blokes would be surprised if a workmate said he had been duffed up by a woman.....i've seen some fights on a Saturday night involving women get very nasty!
Yes, society still dictates that men are stronger than women and that masculinity is something to be paraded and shown off. Being duffed up by the fairer sex, especially if that person is smaller would be something most people would be laughed at about. It's almost universally detested to hit a woman, but when attacked by anyone, restraining the other person is a lot more difficult than self defence or retaliation. If I was beaten up by a 5'2" waif woman I would be more ashamed and embarrassed than by being beaten up by an average 6' bloke.
If it was a big butch woman with massive forearms and a bad attitude, then it might be different
If it was a big butch woman with massive forearms and a bad attitude, then it might be different
Sex God
Quote by da69ve
to be honest i don't think most blokes would be surprised if a workmate said he had been duffed up by a woman.....i've seen some fights on a Saturday night involving women get very nasty!
In that case I am glad I am to be found most Saturday nights sat at my computer desperately trying to find a woman :!:
HJ
It would definatly be more embarising to be duffed up by a woman than a man
Having said that i do not think i would ever get my self in to such a situation
I could never hit a woman no matter what the provocation so i would have to walk away
or to quote the great monty python & The Holy Grail when the Knights were confronted by an angry bunny
"Run Away" "Run Away"
Bi-Guy-Notts
Having said that i do not think i would ever get my self in to such a situation
I could never hit a woman no matter what the provocation so i would have to walk away
or to quote the great monty python & The Holy Grail when the Knights were confronted by an angry bunny
"Run Away" "Run Away"
Bi-Guy-Notts
I believe the attitude of “men don’t hit women back†has both been one which is said more than practiced by a reasonable proportion of the city centre larger swiggers – and abused by unsavoury women in a heightened state of larger bravoury. In some ways I agree that if a woman is big enough to throw a punch, she should be big enough to take one back.
Does the attitude of “men should not hit women†come from the days of inequality?
Does the stigma of being duffed up by a woman really link back to the belief that women are not equal?
Why is it not right to hit a woman that has just smacked you in the mouth for no apparent reason?
Is it embarrassing to be duffed up by a woman (as the poll is suggesting) because you assume the woman is weaker?
A True Story
Some years ago (in excess of 10) myself and a friend went to see another friend of ours DJ’ing at a night club in the next county. Only a few moments after setting foot in the club, whilst heading for the bar, a loud argument broke out between a number of young men. As we passed the men a hand came through the crowd and slapped me around the face – hard. An angry young man then appeared in front of me, poking me in the face and rambling on about something that had happened the week previous. For some reason I did not try to explain that I had never set foot in the place before and to be honest it was still just sinking in that this twat had slapped me. My friend looked at me and said “Did he just slap you?†“Yeah†I replied. My friend stepped back and looked at me. I then had that moment of clarity and became totally aware of what was happening – an angry man had slapped me , was now shouting at me and poking me in the face and his mates where egging him on. So I did what I had to do… I punched him. I admit he didn’t go down with the first punch, nor the second (as that was just a jab with the left). He took a swing back. He did go down with the third. His jeering mates went quiet, looked at their friend on the floor and……….
walked away and left him there.
They appeared to have no qualms with their friend picking a fight with a woman, the same could not be said for him losing.
My DJ friend continued to work at the club for sometime after and apparently the guy had been telling people it was another guy that gave him the shiner.
I was in appearance somewhat smaller in those days – but was training 4 times per week, one night each week with a semi-pro boxer and playing a rather physical sport at international level. I wonder if knowing that would have helped mend his bruised ego?
Does the attitude of “men should not hit women†come from the days of inequality?
Does the stigma of being duffed up by a woman really link back to the belief that women are not equal?
Why is it not right to hit a woman that has just smacked you in the mouth for no apparent reason?
Is it embarrassing to be duffed up by a woman (as the poll is suggesting) because you assume the woman is weaker?
A True Story
Some years ago (in excess of 10) myself and a friend went to see another friend of ours DJ’ing at a night club in the next county. Only a few moments after setting foot in the club, whilst heading for the bar, a loud argument broke out between a number of young men. As we passed the men a hand came through the crowd and slapped me around the face – hard. An angry young man then appeared in front of me, poking me in the face and rambling on about something that had happened the week previous. For some reason I did not try to explain that I had never set foot in the place before and to be honest it was still just sinking in that this twat had slapped me. My friend looked at me and said “Did he just slap you?†“Yeah†I replied. My friend stepped back and looked at me. I then had that moment of clarity and became totally aware of what was happening – an angry man had slapped me , was now shouting at me and poking me in the face and his mates where egging him on. So I did what I had to do… I punched him. I admit he didn’t go down with the first punch, nor the second (as that was just a jab with the left). He took a swing back. He did go down with the third. His jeering mates went quiet, looked at their friend on the floor and……….
walked away and left him there.
They appeared to have no qualms with their friend picking a fight with a woman, the same could not be said for him losing.
My DJ friend continued to work at the club for sometime after and apparently the guy had been telling people it was another guy that gave him the shiner.
I was in appearance somewhat smaller in those days – but was training 4 times per week, one night each week with a semi-pro boxer and playing a rather physical sport at international level. I wonder if knowing that would have helped mend his bruised ego?
Sexlightened
This is a serious thread, and to be honest should be discussed openly, not being on the recieving end of a hiding from a female i can't speak from experience, but i can definately see the stigma.
The biggest problem is the "whimp" label that gets attached as soon as you go for help/police or friends etc........
And then problem is if you do report it and it has to go to court, the press will print it, as they did with Ross Kemp, and look at the out cry there, the press ridiculed him and that just wasnt on!
So.......how can attitudes change when the backward press still feel the need to print and ridicule anyone for being assulted.
Rant over !
steff
The biggest problem is the "whimp" label that gets attached as soon as you go for help/police or friends etc........
And then problem is if you do report it and it has to go to court, the press will print it, as they did with Ross Kemp, and look at the out cry there, the press ridiculed him and that just wasnt on!
So.......how can attitudes change when the backward press still feel the need to print and ridicule anyone for being assulted.
Rant over !
steff
Stigma? nah I dont think so, doesent matter whether its a bloke or woman that put you down, ya still lost! 
Personally I would try and not put myself in that sort of position, its always better to walk away.
However if I was defending meself then the first hit had better count no matter who placed it cos they would then have to deal with the consequences and there would be no consideration on my part for the fairer sex.... I mean if they (the agressor) are willng to start it, then I am more than willing to help finish it.
If theres one thing I learnt in green it has to be 'Offence is the best form of Defence'.
but all said and done there is no excuse for agression in the first place.
Personally I would try and not put myself in that sort of position, its always better to walk away.
However if I was defending meself then the first hit had better count no matter who placed it cos they would then have to deal with the consequences and there would be no consideration on my part for the fairer sex.... I mean if they (the agressor) are willng to start it, then I am more than willing to help finish it.
If theres one thing I learnt in green it has to be 'Offence is the best form of Defence'.
but all said and done there is no excuse for agression in the first place.
Quote by PoloLady
Why is it not right to hit a woman that has just smacked you in the mouth for no apparent reason?
Cos the feminists will cut off your balls and sacrifice them
Quote by steff35
as they did with Ross Kemp, and look at the out cry there, the press ridiculed him and that just wasnt on!
The minor difference there is he's given the appearance of being a 'tough guy not to be messed with' attitude, quite intimidating and not someone you'd want to meet in a dark alley when he's angry. To have it known that he was beaten up by a woman is similar to the playground attitude when finding out the biggest, meanest kid in school was beaten by the skinny wimpy kid.
Sexlightened
Quote by Osmosis
Why is it not right to hit a woman that has just smacked you in the mouth for no apparent reason?
Cos the feminists will cut off your balls and sacrifice them
Quote by steff35
as they did with Ross Kemp, and look at the out cry there, the press ridiculed him and that just wasnt on!
The minor difference there is he's given the appearance of being a 'tough guy not to be messed with' attitude, quite intimidating and not someone you'd want to meet in a dark alley when he's angry. To have it known that he was beaten up by a woman is similar to the playground attitude when finding out the biggest, meanest kid in school was beaten by the skinny wimpy kid.
Doesnt make it right tho, does it
Sex God
As steff says, this is a serious thread which deserves to be discussed seriously. I am not quite sure why the opening post said "excluding domestic violence". I am sure, knowing PoloLady's posts, that there was not meant to be any implication that domestic violence is, somehow, less serious than other violence. In many ways it is more difficult because it is in the sanctuary of your own home and dealt out by someone that is supposed to be a loved one.
Having been in what might best (i.e. tactfully) be described as an 'unfulfilled' marriage I was actually attacked by my then wife one evening. Granted she had something like a two-stone advantage over me but, nevertheless, she was female. To cut a long story short, she flipped and knocked me to the ground. For good measure she then stamped on my head a couple of times. What had I done to provoke this? Who knows. I had just cooked dinner, cleared up and was, at the time, ironing our son's shirt for school the next morning. She was, to say the least, rather drunk at the time.
Did I retaliate? Of course not. Two reasons why not. Firstly, I was brought up never to hit a woman and I think that is absolutely right - even if she is hitting you. Secondly ( and worst of all) this was done in front of our son! This is the first time that I have spoken openly about this to anyone by my closest friends and family. The next morning I went to see a solicitor and started divorce proceedings. It was, you could say, the last straw.
Sorry if this was a little too heavy, but I do think that this is a much underestimated problem. I have seen reports that there are more battered husbands than battered wives (not that I would have put myself in that category - this was a one-off) but most of them are too embarrassed to report it.
As has been said elsewhere in this thread violence is always wrong (except perhaps in extreme cases of self-defence) and who perpetrates it is completely immaterial.
Will
Having been in what might best (i.e. tactfully) be described as an 'unfulfilled' marriage I was actually attacked by my then wife one evening. Granted she had something like a two-stone advantage over me but, nevertheless, she was female. To cut a long story short, she flipped and knocked me to the ground. For good measure she then stamped on my head a couple of times. What had I done to provoke this? Who knows. I had just cooked dinner, cleared up and was, at the time, ironing our son's shirt for school the next morning. She was, to say the least, rather drunk at the time.
Did I retaliate? Of course not. Two reasons why not. Firstly, I was brought up never to hit a woman and I think that is absolutely right - even if she is hitting you. Secondly ( and worst of all) this was done in front of our son! This is the first time that I have spoken openly about this to anyone by my closest friends and family. The next morning I went to see a solicitor and started divorce proceedings. It was, you could say, the last straw.
Sorry if this was a little too heavy, but I do think that this is a much underestimated problem. I have seen reports that there are more battered husbands than battered wives (not that I would have put myself in that category - this was a one-off) but most of them are too embarrassed to report it.
As has been said elsewhere in this thread violence is always wrong (except perhaps in extreme cases of self-defence) and who perpetrates it is completely immaterial.
Will
Quote by willxx69
I am not quite sure why the opening post said "excluding domestic violence".
Because it becomes a whole different ball park. Much more complicated an issue with far more psychological implications than some Joe/Jane Bloggs that has glugged a few pints and now thinks you're a wanker.
This issue can become complicated enough, so I tried to keep the scope as narrow as possible.
