Sorry Toon I didnt mean (in fact I dont think I did) suggest an inextricable link. It was a nod towards the larger implications of swinging as a lifestyle, its acceptability to both society and the individual and what that willingness to accept suggests about the collective psyche and its attitudes towards family as a structure. Assuming we accept that a positive attitude towards fidelity and monogamy is a major factor in the traditional view of a relationship. I didnt want to go into great detail about other factors as I wouldve been going on a bit ....I do that you know :-)
I didnt mean to directly contradict you either mate. I was just trying to clarify. I have the feeling we are talking slightly at cross purposes because of the vagueness of our respective definitions of what morality means to us.
Which is probably exactly what I meant by the chances of this thread going round in circles and imploding :-)
Gladly let you take the shovel and have the last post , then I reckon we should stop or neither of us will ever get a feckin blowjob again for fearing of boring the other members to death :-)
Peace
Sorry to go against your faithful but non monogamy thing Tune but I thoiught about it then checked.
faithful
Adjective
1. remaining true or loyal
2. maintaining sexual loyalty to one's lover or spouse
3. consistently reliable: my old, but faithful, four cylinder car
4. accurate in detail: a faithful translation of the book
I think i can maybe see where your coming from but faithful and monogamy are mutually exclusive
I have found that the people I have met through this site have strong morals.
I am not so sure that it is always or precisely morality which is at work. There are a variety of values and emotions which are selected and applied at the owners convenience.
The ‘progress’ of a sexual adventurer can be rapid. Those who may have begun from fairly humble beginnings, can find themselves confronting a mix of new values, which not only include sexual abilities but many other thoughts and feelings that need to adjust to the new circumstances.
It may be that a couple who were in effect ‘washed up’ now have a new lease of life. Advancing their sex life puts them back in a position of power and control and subsequently they experience the feelings that go with that.
Cheating and equivalent activities are the standard stuff of tabloids and soaps. Almost meaningless in the vanilla world. Having a sense of ‘morality’ in the swinging world, gives the owner significant clout.
A new found status. But its meaningless in the vanilla world. And this is often where equating the two worlds is not always so easily workable.
It becomes selective to suit whichever circumstances it can be applied to, to make it seem right or effective. A lot of effort may go into screening out prospective partners before meeting, but the values can change instantly when someone is just too difficult to resist. Then suddenly the fact that someone is married is conveniently avoided, or skilfully ignored.
Perhaps a couple lived unsuccessfully by conventional morality, feeling weighed down by it. Swinging gives them the choice to reinstate it in a way which suits them, they can control it.
Often those who have done well in life look beyond sex and material values, it may be spiritual. In some cases its a feeling of benevolence towards others and advanced expectations of people. Asking them to share in an enlightenment. This kind of thing may come about unexpectedly and quickly to balance out the effects of sexual adventuring.
I think the greater part is confidence, decisiveness and the power of saying no. This is often delivered in a moralistic way to soften the blow. Otherwise it may appear smug and arrogant.
Morality is part of it, but not all of it.
lucky heather sir ? 
) but there could be merely one of self protection, which is not based on morality.
