I found I got on better with my Mum after Id had my daughter.
My daughter and me get on fantastic. We are very close and always have been but then I think thats because from the moment she was born, I was determined we would have a better relationship than I had with my Mum.
I now have a baby grand daughter and I hope as she grows up, to have the same relationship with her as I have with my daughter, her Mum.
I have had the odd issue with my Mum but I am glad to say that on the whole, we have always got on pretty darn good.
I see her a couple of times a week as they live very close to us and they sometimes have the kids for us.
She is on holidays this week, with my Dad, brother and Sister in law, I do miss knowing she is there if I need her for anything.
i thought i got on ok ish with my mum altho shes very different to me
but in the past year or so she has altered so much i think its a different person in her body, she is very distant to us and at times nasty to me and my siblings, and she now has a new family and doesnt seem to want much to do with us despite us worrying about her and trying to help
i have a good relationship with my daughter
i made sure that i treat my kids how id like to be treated
i had the most wonderful realtionship with my mum we laughed together, we argued over my choice and her choice of what was suitable to wear, i got my own way we did all the mother daughter things that we could. sadly she died when i was 16 so we never got to have an adult mother daughter relationship. it may have changed, i don't know but the memories i have are fantastic and are all i have now. it saddens me to hear when mother and daughter have very little or no relationship, but that is life and not everything is perfect (even though i wish it was) and it makes me hang on to my precious memories i have all the more. it also inspires me to have the best relatonship possible with my children. plenty of laughter the odd tear but most of all to make them as happy as i possibly can. because one thing my life has taught me is you never know when you will lose it. i love you mum :love:
My mother - I never use the m.u.m word - was mentally ill and physically violent and verbally aggressive throughout my childhood, until I left at 23.
20 years later, she's on good tablets at last and is a different person. She says she has no recollection of us growing up, and has started asking was she a good mum.
What the hell do you say to that?
I've skirted around it up to now. I wouldn't be able to tell her anyway, for the simple reason that the words to describe it won't come out of my mouth to anyone, even my sisters who were there and suffered the same.
It's a tricky one.
oh dear,
ok i write this for ??? actually i dunno why im spilling my soul but here goes...
my mum and dad had a horrid marriage, when they decided to split when i was 10 i just wish it had happened sooner. Then when it did happen fully it was worse then before.
i think my mum went through some horrid shit as a child and as a wife, i dont know this but hell thers got to be some explination for her crap mothering.
i was never once cuddled, kissed, held hands, told anything nice, or that she loved me. I was told i was stupid, lazy etc or better still ignored.
my mum lives only 7 miles form me but she has never been to my home ( invited but never come) she has never remembered a birthday of mine or my daughters.
i use dto visit every week, phone every other day.
she never called me or asked how i was when i did call see her.
i decided about 7 years ago i was going to stop trying to gain her love and respect. it was destroying me.
she is still alive, will i morn her death?? yes but ill morn the fact that it really means the end to the hope of ever having a "mum"
i tell my daughetrs they are loved, beautifull clever all the time, i always make time for them and tell them every day i love them even when the eldest was screaming she hated me.
families ehh , no wonder ive stayed single, dont think i could face being apart of someone elses family aswell
lol
xxx fem xxx
These are some of the reasons I don't subscribe to the "It's your mum/dad. You must respect/love them unconditionally" school of thought.
I have a friend who had an absolutely awful mother. When she was 12 her mum said she didn't want her in the house, so she spent six months living in a tent in the garden. One of her friends was killed in a car accident when she was young. Her mum said to her "I wish you'd died instead of ******" :shock:
Cherish your parents if they deserve to be cherished. But I for one won't be disparaging of someone just because they don't hero worship parents who have knowingly caused so much pain.
: 
Ive always been quite timid about how i speak to her though much to deks annoyance 
