Personally it wouldn't bother me. if tehy are willing to talk to me then i'll talk back
sexuality don't make a person interesting or boring. or for an excuse to be avoided.
my ex's brother in law (long story) was gay and lived with his partener. and i treated them as i would treat anyone else.
this society (in general. not swinging) is to quick to judge people before they've got to know them.
Jiggle
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Sex God
Quote by steveg_nw
Two men openly snogging in a bar should not be any more unacceptable than a heterosexual couple snogging. For a landlord to take offense would be completely unacceptable and I would hope unacceptable to the majority of Swinging Heaven members!
This argument has been going on for a very long time Roger and I'm not saying anything that isn't already being debated in the public domain..........I also believe it's the main driving force behind the Gay Pride movement. A landlord taking offence (or not) is completely out of our hands and there's a real possibility that it could happen.
Quote by rogerthedragon
Acceptable public behavior should be the same regardless of the gender or sexuality of the people concerned and I'm a little confused why you felt it necessary to bring this up.
Roger the Dragon.
The original post asked for people's opinions regarding others reactions if a gay couple turned up at a munch. I don't think anybody from here would be bothered by it in the slightest but different people do have different opinions on what acceptable behaviour in a public place should be and the Basil Fawlty landlords of this world would have a totally different opinion to ours. Should I have buried my head in the sand and ignored it or is it better to bring it out into the open?
Steve
I see your point steve taken in that context, and I can see how at a small munch where people are not meeting in a private room or seperate area then the situation certainly applies especially as in some circumstances the Landlord may not even be aware of the gathering. However I would point out that at large munch organised in a private room or seperate area within a bar or club I personally would not expect a munch organiser to use a venue where male:male kissing was unacceptable. I think maybe when I posted my comment I had not considered the full range of venues at which a munch could take place.
Roger the Dragon
We would have no problem what so ever if a gay couple (be they male or female) attended a munch. As has been pointed out before it is a social event and therefore all are welcome... I personally am looking forward to the next munch that we can attend because Judy owes me a snog 
Sorry to quote you Bloke2005, but this little statement is very suitable for us personally as it is something that we prefer not to see... Yes I know that it is a contradiction in terms as I am bi but it is just something that turns us off.... Just because we are swingers does not mean that we are turned on by everything people indulge in as we all have our likes and dislikes.
So please everyone, just remember that whilst people may swing they may not be comfortable with the idea of same sex kissing.... This also applies to landlords and their staff... You have to remember that whilst they may know it is a swingers social evening, they may not be liberal minded enough to allow such activities, even if in your mind it is acceptable.
I may well get a flaming for this but hey.... We are no way shape or form homophobic, and we will never judge people because of their sexuality.
What if some of the members of Swinging Heaven took offense??.... Please dont presume that everyone has the same views/levels of acceptance as yourself...
I will also add that this particular subject is one that Steve and I have discussed many times and one that we agree completely on. To the point that we are reluctant to go to some parties/munches because of it....
Shireen
Quote by Bloke2005
Personally.. the idea of two blokes snogging turns me right off..
Sorry to quote you Bloke2005, but this little statement is very suitable for us personally as it is something that we prefer not to see... Yes I know that it is a contradiction in terms as I am bi but it is just something that turns us off.... Just because we are swingers does not mean that we are turned on by everything people indulge in as we all have our likes and dislikes.
So please everyone, just remember that whilst people may swing they may not be comfortable with the idea of same sex kissing.... This also applies to landlords and their staff... You have to remember that whilst they may know it is a swingers social evening, they may not be liberal minded enough to allow such activities, even if in your mind it is acceptable.
I may well get a flaming for this but hey.... We are no way shape or form homophobic, and we will never judge people because of their sexuality.
Quote by rogerthedragon
For a landlord to take offense would be completely unacceptable and I would hope unacceptable to the majority of Swinging Heaven members!
What if some of the members of Swinging Heaven took offense??.... Please dont presume that everyone has the same views/levels of acceptance as yourself...
I will also add that this particular subject is one that Steve and I have discussed many times and one that we agree completely on. To the point that we are reluctant to go to some parties/munches because of it....
Shireen
Sex God
Quote by shireen-steve
I may well get a flaming for this but hey.... We are no way shape or form homophobic, and we will never judge people because of their sexuality.
For a landlord to take offense would be completely unacceptable and I would hope unacceptable to the majority of Swinging Heaven members!
What if some of the members of Swinging Heaven took offense??.... Please dont presume that everyone has the same views/levels of acceptance as yourself...
I will also add that this particular subject is one that Steve and I have discussed many times and one that we agree completely on. To the point that we are reluctant to go to some parties/munches because of it....
Shireen
I do not intend to flame anyone over this but in my opinion if it is acceptable for a heterosexual couple to snog at a munch and it is acceptable for two ladies to snog at a munch then I think it should be acceptable for two men to snog at a munch.
I do not see that this should cause offense to anyone - (I will point out once more that I am talking about kissing not anything more which is not what a munch is about anyway.)
I would be very interested to hear why you would find the idea of two men kissing offensive.
Roger.
Hi Shireen. Whilst I wouldn`t criticise you for your personal feeling upon this, am sure you are not homophobic, and I do respect your honesty, I personally love the free and easy atmosphere of munches which allows same sex couples the freedom to snog just like any other (assuming bar staff do not get involved that is!). I suppose what I am trying to ask, without wanting to seem that I am flaming, is although you have pointed out that perhaps two guys might like to take into consideration your sensibilities before snogging at a munch, could you not by the same token consider theirs and look the other way? It just seems a shame for people to have to think about curbing their own liberalism at an event such as a munch, which is defined as a meeting for liberal-minded adults. I suppose bar staff will always be a risk, but I`m not convinced people should have to worry about SH members as well. It seems a shame that it disturbs you to the point that you guys would consider not attending, but if it does, then I suppose that is something you just need to consider before choosing to go.
Put another way..
It`ll be a cold day in hell before I stop snogging the girls at munches! The freedom to do this is one of the reasons I love going! This freedom should be available to all who go I feel.
:
Venusxxx
Put another way..
It`ll be a cold day in hell before I stop snogging the girls at munches! The freedom to do this is one of the reasons I love going! This freedom should be available to all who go I feel.
: Venusxxx
Sex God
Quote by Bloke2005
Hi Bloke2005,
Hope to see you (and your fella) at a munch soon
Gem. x
ps, can I watch at the aftermunch party? I have a bit of a soft spot for bi guys :rascal:
Oooo I really must learn to behave!
More than welcome to watch - I did offer to escort you out in Manchester on one of your threads last week but was sadly overlooked in the rush...
ops: Any time you need a chaperone... :P
OMG NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! don't tell me things like this Bloke2005! I can't beleve I missed an offer like that! :oops: :doh:
*swoon* watching and escorted too!
:inlove:
OK it was a blatant tarting hijack...... :lol: Tell me something else that's new! :D :twisted:
Quote by rogerthedragon
I would be very interested to hear why you would find the idea of two men kissing offensive.
Roger.
Hi Roger, I know this was directed at Shireen, but I just wanted to add my own example just to help to highlight that I am not being judgemental about her own particular turn-off.
I used to find the idea of men dressing in womens clothing quite difficult to be comfortable around, even down to just wearing the undies, which is fairly common. It just looked odd, and for some reason unnerving to me. I would however defend any man`s right to be able to do this.
Funny enough since I have been on the site and have been exposed to it more often, I think men in womens underwear is beginning to rub off on me. The Silkies site has had a lot to do with that :twisted: , but I still find myself blinking when I see a tranny in full dress. As many people know, one of my very good friends lived a long time as a tranny, and I was freely able to tell him that seeing him in full dress just reminded me of Norman Bates! He took no offense, because he knew that this was simply an involuntary reaction on my part which stopped there. I would never have expected him to stop expressing himself because of that.
Internally I`m much more relaxed around it now, and I hope that one day I will be able to attend munches without a Tranny being more obvious to me than anyone else in the room, but until then, I won`t beat myself up about it because I believe my moral attitude toward such lifestyles is spot on, and that`s what counts.
Venusxxx
Quote by rogerthedragon
I do not intend to flame anyone over this but in my opinion if it is acceptable for a heterosexual couple to snog at a munch and it is acceptable for two ladies to snog at a munch then I think it should be acceptable for two men to snog at a munch.
Why???..... Because you consider it to be acceptable??.... Sorry it doesn't work that way.... We all have out OWN likes and dislikes and in this lifestyle we should all RESPECT each others preferences.... Now all I see at the minute is someone who is telling me that I should accept something that I personally do not find acceptable... So do I take it that you think that we should not be swingers if we cannot accept this??? And please dont think that I am alone in this opinion, it is just that I am one of the more outspoken ones here and am not afraid to air my views...
I do not see that this should cause offense to anyone - (I will point out once more that I am talking about kissing not anything more which is not what a munch is about anyway.)
It may not cause offense to you as you may be bisexual, but for people who are straight it may well offend. And for the record I find the full on snogging between women in public uncomfortable as well.... Those that have met me will find that quiet amusing as I am a very outgoing person, but that is just the way I am..
I would be very interested to hear why you would find the idea of two men kissing offensive.
What I said was that it turns us off... I didn't say we would be offended at all... I just made a point and said what if.... There is no clear cut reason for why we find it offputting, and I will state again that we do not have a problem with people of any sexuality, but it is something that we do not enjoy seeing.
To Venus
Whilst I understand what you are saying, what everyone has to understand is that a munch is purely a social and therefore should be pretty much a vanilla environment. It (if I interpret it correctly) was intended to be a purely social event in which people could mingle and meet other people who share a similar outlook towards sex in a non swinging environment. Now to me this would mean that any bisexual activities i.e. full on snogging of same sex people was not really on show.... I am also thinking about newbies who might well be put off by the whole "In your face" type of experience....
As for TV's and CD's etc, we have never had a problem with men dressing in womens clothes and to be honest for me when I met JudyTV at the Mids munch last year I never once found her more obvious than any other person in the room... Judy has always been Judy to me and I adore the person she is....
What we have found more recently though is that alot of the members of the forums seem to think that by not being a bisexual male makes you an outcast somehow... It's as though if you swing you should be bi... Steve is not bi nor is he curious and no matter what anyone may say you will never convince him that he should try it just to rule it out... There is only one person that Steve will allow to kiss him apart from the ladies and that is Judy. The reason??.... Steve trusts Judy. and Judy in return knows that Steve is not a closet bisexual and accepts him for who he is.....
We dont give a shit what sexuality a person is as we will judge them on who they are and not what they are..... But in return we at least would like to have a little respect shown to us for what we are as well....
Shireen
Sex God
Shireen, with respect, swinging heaven is a diverse community that encompasses the full spectrum of sexualities. I hear what you're saying about newbies being put of by an "in your face" type of behaviour that some might display at munches. However, anyone who attends a swinging heaven munch will have to accept, because of the nature of the site, that they might well see same sex affection..... kissing in public is not so much a sexual statement, but an affectionate one. I would not like anyone to feel put off by displaying same sex affection or sexuality cos of opinions such as yours. I do hear your opinion but (thankfully) your opinion on this issue is very much in the minority here. If you don't like seeing same sex kissing at munches, turn your eyes away and don't look. Easy really.
Quote by bluexxx
Shireen, with respect, swinging heaven is a diverse community that encompasses the full spectrum of sexualities. I hear what you're saying about newbies being put of by an "in your face" type of behaviour that some might display at munches. However, anyone who attends a swinging heaven munch will have to accept, because of the nature of the site, that they might well see same sex affection.....
Quote by The definition
A munch is a purely social event held in a totally neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of Swinging Heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax which gives newbies a chance to ask questions of the more experienced without any fear of getting jumped on, and gives the regulars time to catch-up with old friends and make new ones.
We seem to be digressing.........as open minded as we all might be the purpose of a munch is to provide a neutral environment so that everyone can relax and mingle. It's not a platform for us all to test each others sensibilities.
Steve
This seems to have drifted a litte and I guess as it was me who posed the original question to FB via PM that was behind the posting, I should at least try and refocus it
My question was around the perception of two bi blokes that were in a relationship together being honest enough to tell people just that, if the opportunity arose or the question was asked.
Where the kissing thing came in... I've lost track :!:
I WILL be at the next mini-munch in Manchester and hope to be with my long term boyfriend. I am not planning to, or am in the habit of snogging him or anyone else in public. What happens in private afterwards, is between us and the people (25 so far ) that will be involved.
Hope that clears things up.
Bloke2005
My question was around the perception of two bi blokes that were in a relationship together being honest enough to tell people just that, if the opportunity arose or the question was asked.
Where the kissing thing came in... I've lost track :!:
I WILL be at the next mini-munch in Manchester and hope to be with my long term boyfriend. I am not planning to, or am in the habit of snogging him or anyone else in public. What happens in private afterwards, is between us and the people (25 so far
) that will be involved.Hope that clears things up.
Bloke2005
Thanks Shireen. I think you put your point across fairly. I suppose it just raises the question of who should be catered for, your sensibilities and those of people like you, or the sensibilities of people who attend these events to have the freedom to behave like many others do, when this rarely available to them in non-munch environments. I`m just reluctant to draw a line between homosexual kissing and heterosexual kissing. It may seem more sexual because we are not exposed to it as much, but reacting to it as such just sits uncomfortably with me. I hope I was able to put that across without it seeming I wasn`t respecting your feeling on this. It`s a difference of opinion, but you are still entitled to yours as far as I`m concerned. I suppose for the sake of discussion, I could turn our examples around. How would you view my requesting that perhaps Judy (sorry hun ;)) might consider my sensibilities before turning up in dress at a munch? Obviously I am not as bothered by this as you are by seeing two men kiss, but for arguments sake, let`s suppose I am. It could be argued that the two are akin to comparing apples to oranges, but if you consider that kissing at munches is not always sexual, and just a form of an expression of freedom, then perhaps the two could be compared?
I think you raise a good point about munches being purely a vanilla environment. It`s often occurred to me that what actually occurs at Munches is very different to the forum description offered to newbies. The description does not describe the kissing which goes on in abundance, nor the fact that many of us will turn up dressed a little risque, and I do know of a non-swinger who is reluctant to bring his wife to one of these events as a result. I`d prefer the description to be updated rather than have everyone tone down a little, because I think for the vast majority a good balance is maintained for the most part (ie, people not giving floor shows, or turning up naked! etc). The current balance seems to me and many others to be a good one for like-minded adults to let their hair down in a way they could not normally, without going too far.
I certainly hope that straight guys are not beginning to feel like outcasts, because if they are, I think members at SH should be looking at making them feel as welcome as any other sexuality.
Sorry Shireen, I`m not centering you out personally, you have just raised some good points and have sparked my interest. I`m off on one again! Sarge will kill you!
as will Mars, I`m supposed to be shagging tonight and I think he just gave up and went to sleep :shock: , so I`ll leave it at that for tonight!
Nite hun :kiss:
Venusxxx
:roll: :roll: 
:smackbottom:Quote by VenusnMars
I certainly hope that straight guys are not beginning to feel like outcasts, because if they are, I think members at SH should be looking at making them feel as welcome as any other sexuality.
:
Venusxxx
Thats how I feel more and more these days Venus......
I'm not sure why......It may be that because SH has such a liberal attitude and as such more and more guys are expressing their sexuality ......I really dont know .....
It is just how I feel ..... :cry:
Quote by steve-shireen
I certainly hope that straight guys are not beginning to feel like outcasts, because if they are, I think members at SH should be looking at making them feel as welcome as any other sexuality.
:
Venusxxx
Thats how I feel more and more these days Venus......
I'm not sure why......It may be that because SH has such a liberal attitude and as such more and more guys are expressing their sexuality ......I really dont know .....
It is just how I feel ..... :cry:
Me too Steve.
Now come over here and hold my hand and we'll get through this together!! :doh: :shock: :shock: :shock:
:? :? 
:lol: Quote by Sgt Bilko
I certainly hope that straight guys are not beginning to feel like outcasts, because if they are, I think members at SH should be looking at making them feel as welcome as any other sexuality.
:
Venusxxx
Thats how I feel more and more these days Venus......
I'm not sure why......It may be that because SH has such a liberal attitude and as such more and more guys are expressing their sexuality ......I really dont know .....
It is just how I feel ..... :cry:
Me too Steve.
Now come over here and hold my hand and we'll get through this together!! :doh: :shock: :shock: :shock:
:? :? :lol:Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Your a MAN U fan ffs........
Quote by steve-shireen
Thats how I feel more and more these days Venus......
I'm not sure why......It may be that because SH has such a liberal attitude and as such more and more guys are expressing their sexuality ......I really dont know .....
It is just how I feel ..... :cry:
(yes I blew my shag tonight thank you people!
)It may just be because straight regular posters seem to be in the minority. Not an easy place to be. Not sure really.
Quote by steveg_nw
We seem to be digressing.........as open minded as we all might be the purpose of a munch is to provide a neutral environment so that everyone can relax and mingle. It's not a platform for us all to test each others sensibilities.
Steve
Didn`t stop you from copping a feel at my first and second munches though did it Steve?!
(anytime hun
)Venusxxx
Quote by steveg_nw
You'll have to give me your definition of "copping a feel". If you were wearing a VERY high split skirt then a stroke of the thigh certainly isn't beyond the bounds of probability whilst I had a quick peck hello. ;)
Maybe we're talking about two different things.
Steve
It was the (fairly high :mrgreen
stroke of the thigh, nothing more sinister! Didn`t mean to come across as though you had come up and grabbed a tit Steve, sorry It probably felt more exciting/nerve-wracking to me because I wasn`t wearing any knickers at the time and wasn`t sure how high you`d go!
And no, Steve didn`t find out I was knickerless that night!
Venusxxx
Sex God
Quote by VenusnMars
You did.....obviously I wasn`t that memorable *sob*
(Chesterfield in the buffet room? NW on the door? Long black dress with VERY high split?)
I remembered you cad!
Venusxxx
:shock: I didn't see you in Chesterfield
Warming the Bed
Quote by JudyTV
It is not unusual for a straight male to shout out at the bar of a munch " Hey Tranny you owe me a snog " this is the great banter that takes place at such events and is the way the straight males show they have no Homophobic or Trans phobic issues with any of us be it bi guys, Tranny's, CDs or whatever, in fact they just don't have any issues at all.
Judy
Isnt this what life is about, have a laugh and accept? :thumbsup:
I dont find blokes do anything for me :shrug: but at the same time I have no problem with people be they straight, bi, gay, or even lovers of coffee revels, as long as they dont judge me for my traits
PS. Sorry about the decolouring judy, Im crap at all this slash slash backspace malarky
Quote by VenusnMars
I certainly hope that straight guys are not beginning to feel like outcasts, because if they are, I think members at SH should be looking at making them feel as welcome as any other sexuality.
I think that we actually have far more straight guys round here than bi ones*, but the bi ones are a very vocal minority, and bi males are a regular topic of conversation round here, where we are relaxed enought to let people vent years of pent-up not talking about it. I've very rarely seen people comment that bi-males are not to their taste, and when they do, it's always done in an apologetic manner, as if expressing a sexual preference is something to be ashamed of. It's not! I think we should be just as accepting of a preference against something as we are for a preference for it.
The topic of behaviour at munches is a difficult one, while the environment is neutral, the attendees are never going to be neutral! I tend towards the view that it's an event for newbies to come and meet us to see if they fit in, rather than an event for us to fit in with newbies. At a munch you will see more snogging, more risque outfits, more smiling faces and more knowing winks than at a normal pub with random members of the public, if newbies like this, then keep coming, if you don't then don't! If there is behaviour there that you don't like, then weigh up how much you like the rest of the evening. I'm sure we all draw a line SOMEWHERE about what we find acceptable, so we are all as guilty of being unaccepting as each other. I know I'd have a problem with people loudly discussing certain sexual acts at a munch (mostly illeagl ones, but I can think of at least one thing that's legal but would have me turning green), so there is a balnace to be struck.
*Actually, SH is mainly a gay pick-up joint, go look at how many men for men photo adverts there are if you don't believe me. They hardly ever seem to visit the forums though.
How fantastic it would be to think that we could accept 'anyone' on this site, no discrimination on colour, sexual orientation etc. I have no problem with people of the same sexual persuasion being around as long as everyone knows exactly where they stand.
I have no desire to watch two men enjoying themselves but who would they be hurting if they were doing their own thing, no one.
I, like most men love seeing women enjoying themselves but most men don't like the thought of man on man, fair enough but leave them to themselves.
I am sounding more like Mary Whiehouse every day (scary), need another beer
I have no desire to watch two men enjoying themselves but who would they be hurting if they were doing their own thing, no one.
I, like most men love seeing women enjoying themselves but most men don't like the thought of man on man, fair enough but leave them to themselves.
I am sounding more like Mary Whiehouse every day (scary), need another beer
