Munch attendees?

12 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
I am sure you don't really believe this MrD. or do you? It is no more that than its a hetero pick-up joint surely.

That was really intended just to be a humorous aside, but with a serious point. For some reason the gay male users of this site have managed to post nearly 100 pages of adverts in the last 30 days, but I can only think of a very few posts made by openly gay (as opposed to bi) males in the forum, so it's easy to get the impression that there are not many of them around.
Given the reputed low success rate of men for women ads, and the reputed high success rate of men for men adverts, I think that there is probably IS more gay sex being organised here than group or hetero sex, and the forum and munches are strangely unrepresentative of this.

12 Feb 2005

Quote by wascallywaffler
lovers of coffee revels

Now that IS perverted :shock: ewwwwwwwwwwww .... the police should intervene, definately
wink

12 Feb 2005

I'd just like to add my tuppence to the very interesting kissing debate going on here!
For some years I was very prejudiced against straight couples feeling that they had the "right" to come into a gay pub and snog. My personal feeling was that if I was to kiss my girlfriend in a straight pub it would be frowned upon - and therefore - what right did straight people have to kiss in "my" pub. And I have to admit I was always the first to go "oh - yuck - go and do that somewhere else". My views have softened a lot recently - and a lot of that has to do with SH.
I do believe that SH has welcomed me as a mainly Lesbian woman without prejudice and the fact that I have danced with, and enjoyed the company of, straight couples at both munches I have been to has meant a lot to me.
I think we all have a right to our views, and I welcome the fact that Shireen and Steve have made theirs clear. But to be honest I also feel that you have the opportunity to turn away if something is happening that you don't like/agree with. I have seen some things at munch that I was not comfortable with. I chose to walk away.
It is a hard "line" to draw in a community as diverse as this one - and I am a little upset that established members of this community feel that they could not attend a munch because certain things would upset them.
Sorry - I don't have an answer - just views.
Oh and Shireen & Steve - I DO hope to meet you at a munch one day!!!

12 Feb 2005

Quote by Rainbows
But to be honest I also feel that you have the opportunity to turn away if something is happening that you don't like/agree with. I have seen some things at munch that I was not comfortable with. I chose to walk away.

Sorry to pick you for the quote Rainbows kiss

but the fact remains that we are talking about a MUNCH environment here... The description which Mark has written clearly states that:

A munch is a purely social event held in a totally neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of Swinging Heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax which gives newbies a chance to ask questions of the more experienced without any fear of getting jumped on, and gives the regulars time to catch-up with old friends and make new ones.

It now appears that people seems to think that because it is a group of swingers that any thing goes.... I personally read it to mean that you would be expected to conduct yourself as if you were in a pub for instance on a normal night out but with a little more sexual "nudge nudge wink wink" type of air to it.... I will admit that at the Mids munch I kindly flashed my tits at everyone but I have been known to do that outside of a swinging environment as well.... It all comes down to the fact that not everyone is as comfortable with the "in your face" kind of activities that does go on at a munch now.... I am very much like Judy in the fact that whilst I am happy to greet people with a kiss on the cheek etc, I would not be happy with people assuming that just because I am there that I will happily snog anyone...
Now if people were saying that I should look away at a club then I would agree as lets face it, it is a playing environment after all.....
I am sorry to frecklebird and Bloke 2005 for the way that this thread has developed, but I think you can be sure that the answer to your original question is one that we all agree on... Everyone is welcome at a munch regardless of their sexuality as it is a social meeting for people to get to know people...

Oh and Shireen & Steve - I DO hope to meet you at a munch one day!!!

Me too Rainbows, me too :kiss:
Shireen

12 Feb 2005

Soooo..... in order to make munches totally neutral and inoffensive to absolutely everyone on the site, all kissing should be outlawed. We can't possibly allow it, someone might get upset..... As munches are neutral and thus non-sexual in every way, we also need to outlaw any sign of flesh.... no more tits out, no more cock-admiring in the ladies, no more mini skirts, not even tu tus, and certainly no sexy undies on show. Playing with sex toys, however discreetly, in bar areas, is completely outlawed too. In fact, let's ban all touching just to make sure. But not only behaviour can offend.... so can sexual language.... therefore, any mention of sex is also against the new munch laws.
Sound fun to you?
No?
Funny, that.
confused

Yes, I'm being annoyingly pedantic, but come on rolleyes

...... yes munches are neutral, they are not meant to be overtly sexual, but they are for open minded adults who are interested in sex! Don't let's stop people having fun by making them overly aware that their normal flirtatious or affectionate behaviour might offend a tiny minority. I say again to anyone who is offended by kissing or touching (gay or straight)..... just look away, like I do when I see tits wink

:wink: :wink: .....
:?

12 Feb 2005

Quote by bluexxx
no more cock-admiring in the ladies.................... Playing with sex toys, however discreetly, in bar areas, is completely outlawed too

Fucking hell Blue, how come you get to be aware of all this?! I never get to see this stuff when I go to Munches! evil

Venusxxx

12 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
no more cock-admiring in the ladies.................... Playing with sex toys, however discreetly, in bar areas, is completely outlawed too

Fucking hell Blue, how come you get to be aware of all this?! I never get to see this stuff when I go to Munches! evil

Venusxxx
Hehehehehehe, well, I've only heard stories about the sex toys, but the cock admiring..... well, yeah, I was a part of that little activity :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

13 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
no more cock-admiring in the ladies.................... Playing with sex toys, however discreetly, in bar areas, is completely outlawed too

Fucking hell Blue, how come you get to be aware of all this?! I never get to see this stuff when I go to Munches! evil

Venusxxx
Nor me, I'm well gutted
:cry: :cry:

13 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
no more cock-admiring in the ladies.................... Playing with sex toys, however discreetly, in bar areas, is completely outlawed too

Fucking hell Blue, how come you get to be aware of all this?! I never get to see this stuff when I go to Munches! evil

Venusxxx
Nor me, I'm well gutted
:cry: :cry:
You're obviously not hanging out with the right crowd rolleyes

I'm quite happy to start a phallic worship group in the bogs at the next munch...
Any takers? :twisted:

13 Feb 2005

memememememememe can I be first on the list? please? please?
(do we get to just look or can we touch?) :twisted: :twisted:

13 Feb 2005

Quote by shireen-steve
What we have found more recently though is that alot of the members of the forums seem to think that by not being a bisexual male makes you an outcast somehow...

Apologies if I have in any way contributed to this feeling; but, again, it's merely a matter of preference. While Vix & I enjoy the company and friendship of many heterosexuals we've met through SH, we just have no interest whatsoever in swinging with them. If we can't both play with someone, it's just not gonna happen.
Out of bed, however, it's an entirely different story: Vix has a wonderful on-line chat mate who's a 100% straight male. He's a lovely bloke and there's a strong friendship connection present there. It's just a shame he's not bi- (hmm, does that count as "straight bashing"?), because the strength of the friendship would probably make him a great swinging partner as well.
I must admit that I'm confused by the apparent imbalance of bi-females to bi-males that I've encountered whilst browsing the "couples seeking couples" photo ads here (making me sometimes wish there were a separate category for bi-couples). Strangely, it seems almost as if bisexuality is expected of swinging females, but a rarity in swinging males. It's a bit different on the forums, though...but, as you'd mentioned in an earlier post, that could be because the openness and acceptance here allows them to express their sexuality in a world where it's otherwise .
Venus said that straight regular posters seem to be a minority here, and I'd tend to agree. Perhaps if they were a bit more vocal in the forums, we'd have a more balanced representation of sexuality here - making it a more comfortable place for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. So c'mon, straight guys, get posting! Just don't expect a shag... (sorry! couldn't resist) :P
~Reese! surprised

13 Feb 2005

Good post Reese smile

Quote by freckledbird
memememememememe can I be first on the list? please? please?
(do we get to just look or can we touch?) :twisted: :twisted:

Well, before we can decide on the rules, we need some phalluses (or is that phalli???) to worship :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

13 Feb 2005

So in order for us to worship them, we need some volunteers?
In other words, men to wave their cocks in the bogs in front of us :shock:
:twisted: :twisted:

13 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
So in order for us to worship them, we need some volunteers?

Ooh! Pick me!! Pick me!!! surprised

13 Feb 2005

Well since you asked so nicely Reese, I think you should be first lol

13 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
Venus said that straight regular posters seem to be a minority here, and I'd tend to agree.

Not something I've ever noticed at all. Perhaps you only notice the people you want to notice.

Quote by Reese
Perhaps if they were a bit more vocal in the forums, we'd have a more balanced representation of sexuality here - making it a more comfortable place for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Straight guys HAVE posted their points of view in the forum before and you'd be surpised at just how quickly they get jumped on for being "narrow minded" by our more liberal "bi bretheren". I don't class myself as being narrow minded by any means but I'm straight and I'm happy with that. I'll quite happily help to give a balanced representation of sexuality on here but I'm fed up of being called narrow minded becuase I have no interest in letting a guy suck my dick or stick his tongue down my throat.

Quote by Reese
So c'mon, straight guys, get posting! Just don't expect a shag... (sorry! couldn't resist) :P
~Reese!

So straight guys are welcome to make posts but they're not likely to ever have sex with anyone........or is this just more of the condescending bullshit we've come to expect?
Steve

13 Feb 2005

Quote by steveg_nw
Venus said that straight regular posters seem to be a minority here, and I'd tend to agree.

Not something I've ever noticed at all. Perhaps you only notice the people you want to notice.
Perhaps you are right Steve, although I would hope someones sexuality didn`t prove to be a factor to me when bouncing banter off of another member, perhaps I, at least am guilty of making more friends among the bi members because of contacting them more often when discussing more sexual matters with them, so perhaps I unconciously notice them more. It`s given me food for thought. I do have a few good straight male friends from here also, for sexual and other characteristics we share, plus bi male friends I`d never swing with. I can`t say I`ve ever done the math though, it was just an impression.

Quote by StevegNW
Perhaps if they were a bit more vocal in the forums, we'd have a more balanced representation of sexuality here - making it a more comfortable place for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Straight guys HAVE posted their points of view in the forum before and you'd be surpised at just how quickly they get jumped on for being "narrow minded" by our more liberal "bi bretheren".
Or perhaps it is this feeling which is encouraging straight guys to remain low key and thats why I was getting that impression?
For the record however, the first guy we ever swung with was straight. Bloody good it was too! :bounce:
Venusxxx

13 Feb 2005

Quote by steveg_nw
Straight guys HAVE posted their points of view in the forum before and you'd be surpised at just how quickly they get jumped on for being "narrow minded" by our more liberal "bi bretheren". I don't class myself as being narrow minded by any means but I'm straight and I'm happy with that. I'll quite happily help to give a balanced representation of sexuality on here but I'm fed up of being called narrow minded becuase I have no interest in letting a guy suck my dick or stick his tongue down my throat.

Personally, I think it's just a matter of everyone openly expressing their own preferences. Indeed, I have had thoughtful replies from straight guys, perhaps the best example being my question for the str8 males thread I'd posted shortly after joining this site, and I don't recall anyone being accused of narrow-mindedness on that one (although I do recall a recent, playful post that epitomised narrow-mindedness of the reciprocal sort and went horribly wrong).
In terms of straight guys sharing their views, I'd still love to know why there seems to be such a dearth of bi-males represented in the couples' photo ads, whereas a vast majority of the females appear to be at least bi-curious. This seems to be the defacto standard with swinging couples but, for the life of me, I cannot understand why there appears to be an expectation of bisexuality with one sex and not the other. Can anyone enlighten me on this?
And, in case you got the wrong impression, I have nothing against straight males. One of Vix' & my first MMF partners was straight and it was bloody brilliant! Over the course of our "swinging career", however, we've had the opportunity to refine our approach and have decided that straight folk aren't really for us. It's nothing personal and I'd never accuse someone of being narrow-minded because of their orientation (not seriously, anyway), we merely choose not to swing with them!

Quote by steveg_nw
So straight guys are welcome to make posts but they're not likely to ever have sex with anyone........or is this just more of the condescending bullshit we've come to expect?

Hmmm. Seems you failed to notice my :P emoticon following that post...either that, or your lack of recognising the humour of it belies the fact that you're not getting enough sex (Q.E.D.)! lol

~Reese!

13 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars

Perhaps if they were a bit more vocal in the forums, we'd have a more balanced representation of sexuality here - making it a more comfortable place for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Straight guys HAVE posted their points of view in the forum before and you'd be surpised at just how quickly they get jumped on for being "narrow minded" by our more liberal "bi bretheren".
Or perhaps it is this feeling which is encouraging straight guys to remain low key and thats why I was getting that impression?
I'm sure you're probably right. How many straight single guys do you think bite their tongues or avoid posting an opinion in a thread because they want to maintain an "acceptable" profile? Quite a few I'll bet. They're already at the bottom of the food chain so why make things worse by gaining a repuation for being opinionated or argumentative?
Steve

13 Feb 2005

Quote by steveg_nw
They're already at the bottom of the food chain so why make things worse by gaining a repuation for being opinionated or argumentative?

Well, just for the record, I'm quite happy to argue with anyone, regardless of their sexuality lol

:lol: :lol: .

13 Feb 2005

Quote by steveg_nw
I'm sure you're probably right. How many straight single guys do you think bite their tongues or avoid posting an opinion in a thread because they want to maintain an "acceptable" profile?
Steve

Possibly quite a few, I started a thread some time ago which confronted the question of `over-compensation` by `minority` groups, not straight males par-se, but the suggestion was inclusive. The thread totally dived. Might have just been because it was a crap thread however! lol

Venusxxx

13 Feb 2005

Quote by bluexxx
They're already at the bottom of the food chain so why make things worse by gaining a repuation for being opinionated or argumentative?

Well, just for the record, I'm quite happy to argue with anyone, regardless of their sexuality lol

:lol: :lol: .
wave

Ooh! Pick me!! Pick me!!! surprised

13 Feb 2005

Quote by Steveg_NW

Perhaps if they were a bit more vocal in the forums, we'd have a more balanced representation of sexuality here - making it a more comfortable place for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Straight guys HAVE posted their points of view in the forum before and you'd be surpised at just how quickly they get jumped on for being "narrow minded" by our more liberal "bi bretheren".
Or perhaps it is this feeling which is encouraging straight guys to remain low key and thats why I was getting that impression?
I'm sure you're probably right. How many straight single guys do you think bite their tongues or avoid posting an opinion in a thread because they want to maintain an "acceptable" profile? Quite a few I'll bet. They're already at the bottom of the food chain so why make things worse by gaining a repuation for being opinionated or argumentative?
Steve
See yourself as the bottom of the food chain and you will become the bottom of the food chain. Straight single males are not oppressed and they have as much right to be here as anyone else does. They do not have the dominant choice over where munches are held or as to who attends, I do believe they are open to all users of the site and no-one should decide that soemone is not going on the grounds of gender or sexuality unless it is a private party. The only criteria should be related to join dates, posts and chatroom frequency. imho.
Well, this whole topic has changed my mind about SH for the worse and I'm having a break from here. I can't stay in a place where I am labelled so heavily and feel I have to conform to a certain stereotype set out by folk who don't know me. I am who I am, don't like it, bog off.
I don't care who is what as long as their personality is fab. All the dividers, compartments and pigeon holeing that has come up lately is too much for me and I've had enough.
My label right now should read.........
"Warning, Light the blue touch paper and run"

13 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
And, in case you got the wrong impression, I have nothing against straight males. One of Vix' & my first MMF partners was straight and it was bloody brilliant! Over the course of our "swinging career", however, we've had the opportunity to refine our approach and have decided that straight folk aren't really for us. It's nothing personal and I'd never accuse someone of being narrow-minded because of their orientation (not seriously, anyway), we merely choose not to swing with them!

And if I've given the impression that I have anything against bi or gay people then I've given the wrong impression because I can assure you that I haven't. If we're going to start discussions about the merits of beng straight, bi, single or married though it would be nice to start on a level playing field. All too often the person in the relationship automatically assumes the high ground.

Quote by Reese
So straight guys are welcome to make posts but they're not likely to ever have sex with anyone........or is this just more of the condescending bullshit we've come to expect?

Hmmm. Seems you failed to notice my :P emoticon following that post...either that, or your lack of recognising the humour of it belies the fact that you're not getting enough sex (Q.E.D.)! lol

~Reese!

I've never really equated the "poking your tongue out at someone" emoticon with a display of genuine humour, I've always seen it as more like "poking your tongue out at someone".
Not getting enough sex? Maybe you're right...........but I'm not going to turn bi just to increase my chances. :P
Steve

13 Feb 2005

Quote by steveg_nw
:P

Did you see that? Did you see that?! He poked his tongue out at me!! lol

~Reese!

13 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
:P

Did you see that? Did you see that?! He poked his tongue out at me!! lol

~Reese!

Well, that`s a bloody invitation if you ask me! :giggle:
Venusxxx

13 Feb 2005

Quote by little gem
Well, this whole topic has changed my mind about SH for the worse and I'm having a break from here.

Sorry to hear that, Gem... sad

...and hope it wasn't Steve's & my banter that sent you off. Granted, things here sometimes work up into a heated debate, but this merely presents the opportunity for them to be resolved with understanding and acceptance. I feel that happened in this thread, and don't believe there are any ill feelings between Steve & myself. In fact, I searched desperately for an "olive branch" emoticon to offer him during my last post on this thread, but the only branchy one I could find was this...
poke

...and it just didn't seem to convey the right sentiment. lol

~Reese!

13 Feb 2005

I've sent Gem a pm and sincerely hope that her decision wasn't just as a result of this thread. :cry:

13 Feb 2005

Me posting here goes against my normal criteria in the forum (not read a post and its got more than 3 pages), but as Dawn suggested I read it, I feel compelled to respond to some of the comments "in general terms". I am not homing in on any one person or their comments, merely adding my thoughts to the thread.
Ok to the initial thread topic. - would it bother me if they turned up. - NO.
Going on to the question of open sexual behaviour. Sorry but in my opinion munches are now too sexual and I feel that newcomers could either be offended or may wonder what the hell they have put their names down for.
I have been to five munches (do I get a badge?) and have seen numerous activities that IMHO should not take place in the public areas of munches. I've seen someone receive a BJ (within spitting distance of a buffet rolleyes

), I've seen two guys do much more than snog, and yes I did turn away, so did the other bloke I was talking to.
I've probably lost count of the knobs and fannies that have been out on display for those nearby to have a crafty feel of.
Personally I feel that munches now are only part of the event. There's the pre munch party, the after munch party, the pre munch party party, etc etc, and it seems to me that the main reason for the munch itself is a recharge of the batteries.
I will definately agree with the comments that us straight guys are fighting a battle against prejudice. As an example - I have been asked on several occasions why the site does not permit there to be any bisexual male chatroom op's.
Firstly how the hell does my sexuality govern my ability to moderate the chatroom for almost 18 months. And Secondly I'm sure if one applied to become an op his application would be taken on his merits and not his sexuality.
In closing, there are certain things I would not wish to see at a munch, in fact there are some people I wouldn't want to see at a munch, and with the terms of tolerance and acceptability being used so many times over the previous pages, maybe those with the more outrageous dress codes, behaviour should be a little more respectful of those of us who havn't.
Oh well, shields up wink

Ian

13 Feb 2005

After reading what Ian has just written I doubt I will be attending ANY munches at all!
Thought munches were social meetings in vanilla/public settings and I don't want to see anyone being given a BJ in that situation. :shock: :shock: Behind closed doors is fine but not in a pub FFS!!!
Yeugh - no, no munches for me now even though I was beginning to get tempted and/or harassed to attend them.
:eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :sad: :sad: