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My boss and laxatives

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Hi All
I would just like to know what you think
Is it a good or bad idea to put laxatives in the bosses tea he really pisses me off
Go for it biggrin Absolultely hilarious if you can keep it to yourself and theres no way of them finding out,
And do it first thing in the morning so you get the full benefit of when they suddenly start dissappearing - well you woiuldn't want to miss out would you :D
Great post! :D
Lets hope they are not allergic or have any other medical condition that can react to it...........
...........if they do I'll put a file in the cake I send you lol
Dave_Notts
Oh put a downer on it then dave - c'mon lighten up ffs :lol2:
Technically it's a criminal offence. In practical terms it's probably impossible to prove unless you leave foreensic evidence around.
1) Make sure you aren't seen entering the tea room (or whereever),
2) wear vinyl gloves (thin latex can leave a faint fingerprint),
3) take any empty blister packs with you and destroy,
4) make sure you pick up that little bit of foil from the blister,
5) don't be extra nice to your boss - just your normal self,
6) don't make his tea if you don't normally - in that case crush the laxatives into the sugar and hope no-one you like used it too. (Or accept that collateral damage as a perk LOL)
And most of all - sit back and enjoy.
Oh, and you could consider the extra joy of putting cling film over the toilet bowl - but under the seat so he won't notice it's there. But be careful, cling-film picks up fingerprints, hair and dry skin cells very easily.
jeez Foxy - do you work on CSI?
Quote by Cherrytree
jeez Foxy - do you work on CSI?

No but I have most of a Master's Degree in Forensic Science biggrin:D:D:D Been working with accellerants, class A drugs, fingerprints, explosives the lot - it's HUGE fun. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Quote by foxylady2209
Technically it's a criminal offence. In practical terms it's probably impossible to prove unless you leave foreensic evidence around.
1) Make sure you aren't seen entering the tea room (or whereever),
2) wear vinyl gloves (thin latex can leave a faint fingerprint),
3) take any empty blister packs with you and destroy,
4) make sure you pick up that little bit of foil from the blister,
5) don't be extra nice to your boss - just your normal self,
6) don't make his tea if you don't normally - in that case crush the laxatives into the sugar and hope no-one you like used it too. (Or accept that collateral damage as a perk LOL)
And most of all - sit back and enjoy.
Oh, and you could consider the extra joy of putting cling film over the toilet bowl - but under the seat so he won't notice it's there. But be careful, cling-film picks up fingerprints, hair and dry skin cells very easily.

CSI Derby! rotflmao
Quote by Cubes
Technically it's a criminal offence. In practical terms it's probably impossible to prove unless you leave foreensic evidence around.
1) Make sure you aren't seen entering the tea room (or whereever),
2) wear vinyl gloves (thin latex can leave a faint fingerprint),
3) take any empty blister packs with you and destroy,
4) make sure you pick up that little bit of foil from the blister,
5) don't be extra nice to your boss - just your normal self,
6) don't make his tea if you don't normally - in that case crush the laxatives into the sugar and hope no-one you like used it too. (Or accept that collateral damage as a perk LOL)
And most of all - sit back and enjoy.
Oh, and you could consider the extra joy of putting cling film over the toilet bowl - but under the seat so he won't notice it's there. But be careful, cling-film picks up fingerprints, hair and dry skin cells very easily.

CSI Derby! rotflmao
OMG yes - me and Lawrence Fishburne - mind you there would be precious little investigation going on biggrin:D:D:D:D:D
rotflmaoFoxylady seriously concerns us :shock:
Why is it that J & I find her so damned horny dunno
Quote by Lost
rotflmaoFoxylady seriously concerns us :shock:
Why is it that J & I find her so damned horny dunno

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: You should try the real live version :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Quote by Lost
Oh put a downer on it then dave - c'mon lighten up ffs :lol2:

I shaved a heximine block (a bit like a firelighter for camping stoves) into my bosses tea and thought it would be good fun to get the git back on all the crap he gave me.............unfortunately I nearly killed him :shock: .
Silver lining was he didn't........so I never admitted to it. I would have had to come forward if anything serious had happened to him. So sorry for being a kill joy but they were the most horrible feelings, that I could have done this guy permanent damage. From there on in I have never done anything like that again to a person. Now there are other things I could do........like:
I would just get a tin of brake fluid.......open the can.......put a piece of card on the top.........turn the can upside down.....place in the middle of the roof of the car......remove the card.......and watch the dilema on what the feck he has to do :twisted:
Dave_Notts
Actually if my lazy arsed boss ever spent time in the office, I would put something in his tea. He is such a twat mad
Quote by Lost
Oh put a downer on it then dave - c'mon lighten up ffs :lol2:

He is a changed man now he has a mod hat. wink
He used to be such a happy bunny Losty now though just a miserable git. lol :wink:
If you don't have CCTV overlooking the carpark, make sure nobody sees you and crack an egg into the air intake vents just below the windscreen.
egg drips inside vent
egg dries
flies land on eggy residue and lay eggs
eggs hatch into maggots and crawl all through car vent system
car reeks of rotten eggs but little evidence is visible
car dashboard has to be removed and replaced at major expense.
Quote by meat2pleaseu
If you don't have CCTV overlooking the carpark, make sure nobody sees you and crack an egg into the air intake vents just below the windscreen.
egg drips inside vent
egg dries
flies land on eggy residue and lay eggs
eggs hatch into maggots and crawl all through car vent system
car reeks of rotten eggs but little evidence is visible
car dashboard has to be removed and replaced at major expense.

I think I love you.
and for extra effect put cling film over the toilet....... rolleyes
I can't believe this guys, encouraging each other to peform a crime! rolleyes Bosses are people, too, you know.
I had a boss, a very sadistic man, just a couple of years older than me who killed the joy out of everything. He often had me in tears and I did put in an official complaint to no effect. We were both valued members of the company and had to sort it out ourselves.
Well, one day, when I didn't want to go to work, my husband drove me there and came to pick me up at the end of the day. Wearing his brightest smile he knocked on my bosses door. 'Just want to say hello' he told me, and closed the door behind him. What went on afterwards is hard to describe but I got a glimpse of boss cornered and my hubby banging his fist on his desk. Boss kept saying 'let's call her in and ask her' but hubby said 'leave her out of this, this is between us, man to man' and something like 'women are like flowers, you must treat them nice' ending in 'who do you think you are, the King or God, you think you will never die?!!'
By that time there was a small crowd observing from the corridors. I was thunderstruck and thought 'that's it, I lost my job'.
Well, I didn't lose my job and my boss became civil and considerate thereafter. He apologised a few days later and said he hadn't realised how his behaviour affected me - not in so many words but you know men's apologies... an offer to bring you a cup of coffee tells heaps ;)
Before leaving for the UK, he was on annual leave but he rang and wished me all the best. He said we had our differences in the past but I was good at my job and he had no doubt things would work out well for me in England. It was sweet of him and sounded genuine.
Sadly this man passed away on a dreadful car accident recently. I can only hope that he had made more friends than enemies in his life and that if the Pearly Gates do exist, he's made it through.
this has made my day .you are just so wonderfuland, as for the egg in the car vents , that may come in usefull as have recently had a major falling out with another parent over kids bullying and an offensive phone call from one kids origonally prepared to let kids sort it out themselves till this mum started being abusive to us.
A tin of expanding foam into the exhaust is another jolly jape or if you're feeling brave you can slide underneath the car with a battery drill, drill a smallish hole in the floor, take out the piece of fresh fish your picked up from the supermarket earlier and using a length of thin wire, tie it to the exhaust.
They won't notice a thing for a few miles until the fish starts to cook and the smell drifts through the hole and into the carpets! Mmmmmmmm, fishy!!!!

*any instances of exhaust/fish bbq cooking in and around the midlands area are purely coincidental. M2PU enterprises accept no responsibilty for anything, anywhere* innocent bolt
May I suggest a delightful strategy.
Go to work and do a bad job. Nothing deliberate, simply cease to care. Depending on the employer you can get away with it for an incredibly long time while you seek alternatives.
The fun and freedom you can get from not giving a shit is difficult to describe.
Quote by benrums0n
May I suggest a delightful strategy.
Go to work and do a bad job. Nothing deliberate, simply cease to care. Depending on the employer you can get away with it for an incredibly long time while you seek alternatives.
The fun and freedom you can get from not giving a shit is difficult to describe.

Then as an employer I would also " cease to care " and sack em.
That would be ok then? Seeing as I would be paying my money to that person to do a job of work?
That can work both ways. Not the greatest advice I would give to someone.
Quote by foxylady2209
If you don't have CCTV overlooking the carpark, make sure nobody sees you and crack an egg into the air intake vents just below the windscreen.
egg drips inside vent
egg dries
flies land on eggy residue and lay eggs
eggs hatch into maggots and crawl all through car vent system
car reeks of rotten eggs but little evidence is visible
car dashboard has to be removed and replaced at major expense.

I think I love you.
I love meaty too but it will have to wait, I'm off to buy eggs bolt
Quote by Dawnie
If you don't have CCTV overlooking the carpark, make sure nobody sees you and crack an egg into the air intake vents just below the windscreen.
egg drips inside vent
egg dries
flies land on eggy residue and lay eggs
eggs hatch into maggots and crawl all through car vent system
car reeks of rotten eggs but little evidence is visible
car dashboard has to be removed and replaced at major expense.

I think I love you.
I love meaty too but it will have to wait, I'm off to buy eggs bolt
If only i had known the key to attracting ladies is to be devilishly evil, i would have done it years ago :twisted:
If you need anymore revenge tips Dawnie, i'm sure we could come to some arrangement wink
Quote by benrums0n
May I suggest a delightful strategy.
Go to work and do a bad job. Nothing deliberate, simply cease to care. Depending on the employer you can get away with it for an incredibly long time while you seek alternatives.
The fun and freedom you can get from not giving a shit is difficult to describe.

we all work to put bread on the table... the only way to make it bearable is to be passionate about your job or, failing that, to at least take pride in doing it well
if she did as you suggest, she'd just make her working days a torture for herself and take away all that is good in it. I doubt her boss would ever notice, and if he did he could just sack her.